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Redmachine2003
12-12-2003, 06:14 PM
Hi my name is Dan O'brien and I am your new GM. So do we have any prospects in the Reds minor league system that can play in the majors next year? Alittle while later, Dan meets the other GM's. Hi my name is Dan O'brein and I am the Reds new GM and is there any one interested in trading for some bad contracts?:help: :withstup: :banghead:

Ranjo17
12-12-2003, 07:10 PM
Redmachine, why do I somehow vision the Reds organization sitting around the continental breakfast room of the Local New Orleans Motel 6, stuffing bananas and apples in their pockets? Their cell phones silent. :(

Redmachine2003
12-12-2003, 07:13 PM
Don't forget the towels, little bottles of shampoo, soap, and free coffee packs.

missionhockey21
12-12-2003, 07:19 PM
And afterwards they go to the hotel lobby with its one dirty couch next to the cheap coffee maker and check under the cushions for loose change when no one is looking.

Ranjo17
12-12-2003, 08:18 PM
Mission led by no other then Uncle Carl! :laugh:

Chip R
12-12-2003, 09:51 PM
I have attained an itinerery of the Reds group's 1st day at the Winter meetings.

8:00 - Wake up call. Brad Kullman answers from the other bed.
8:05 - Dan and Brad go over to the rollaway cot and the easy chair and wake up Tim Naehring and Dave Miley.
8:10 - Dan hops in the shower.
8:12 - Dave flushes the toilet and scalds Dan, muttering under his breath, "One year contract my ass."
8:17 - Tim takes his shower.
8:25 - Brad takes his shower.
8:30 - Dave jumps into the shower.
8:31 - Dave hollers, "Who used all the hot water!?
9:00 - The guys go down to the lobby for the hotel's fine continental breakfast of instant coffee and day old donuts.
9:30 - The Fab 4 rush outside the hotel to catch the 9:31 bus to downtown.
9:45 - Tim accidentally pulls the cord to stop the bus. No one gets off and everyone stares at him.
10:03 - The guys get off the bus and walk five blocks to meet their transfer to downtown.
10:33 - Bus arrives downtown.
10:40 - The guys kinda stand around by a plant hoping someone comes over and talks to them.
11:05 - Peter Gammons comes over and asks Dan if he has any hot rumors. Dan says, "No comment." and Gammons asks if he's really the Reds' GM.
11:15 - Paul DePodesta comes over and he and Kullman get into a heated discussion on who was better, Kirk or Picard.
11:45 - Dan Evans from the Dodgers comes over and asks O'Brien if JimBo left any extra leather pants and half empty bottles of Aqua Velva in the office.
12:00 - DanO, Sr. finds DanO, Jr. and asks if he could buy lunch for him. Dan, Jr. accepts and says to the fellas, "C'mon, guys! Dad's buying lunch for us!"
12:01 - Naehring calls shotgun.
12:25 - Waitress at K-Paul's asks Dan, Jr. what his order for lunch is. Dan asks if he can have a few minutes to decide.
12:45 - Waitress comes over to the table for the 4th time and asks if Dan, Jr. has decided. Dan, Jr. says, "After consulting with my dining partners, I think I'll have the Jambalaya."
1:10 - Waitress comes back with orders, Dan, Jr. gets the red beans and rice. He tells the waitress that he ordered the Jambalaya and she says, "A Mr. Lindner called and told us that you were supposed to get the red beans and rice."
1:30 - Dan, Jr. says to everyone in the car, "Boy, I'm sure glad I ordered the red beans and rice."
1:40 - Back at the meetings Mark Shapiro finds Dan and tells him that he has a deal for him. CLE will trade the Reds Ben Broussard, Coco Crisp and Danys Baez for Sean Casey and Danny Graves but he's only got 20 minutes because the Brewers are offering Geoff Jenkins and Ben Sheets and he is giving Dan first chance out of respect for his father. Dan tells Shapiro that they have a deal pending ownership approval.
1:42 - Shapiro whips out his cell phone and calls Cleveland. DanO rushes over to the nearest pay phone and calls Cincinnati.
2:44 (Cincinnati) - John Allen's office phone rings. Allen answers and the operator comes on and says, "I have a collect call from Mr. O'Brien. Will you accept the charges?" Allen adopts a Spanish accent and says, "No hablo Ingles."
1:45-2:00 (New Orleans) - DanO beats his head against the wall.
2:15 - Scott Boras bumps into Brad and Dan. They introduce themselves and ask if Greg Maddox would be interested in playing for the Reds. Boros laughs uncontrollably.
2:30 - A Seattle writer comes over and asks if it was true that the Reds were trading Ken Griffey, Jr. back to Seattle for Willie Bloomquist and the bullpen catcher.
3:00 - ESPN's show comes on and Kullman sees JimBo in the studio and says, "I know that dude."
4:30 - Brian Sabean and Ned Colletti from the Giants comes over and say it's going to be a pleasure dealing with a straight shooter for a change. Sabean mentions that Tipitina's is having a Friday night drink special and he's buying the first round for them. The guys all look at each other sadly and say that the last bus for their hotel in Metarie leaves at 5:25.
4:45 - Miley finds the New Orleans Zephyrs' GM and asks him to keep him in mind if he needs a manager in 2005.
5:00 - Billy Beane begins signing copies of his new book, We're Not Selling Jeans Here
5:10 - DanO finds Jim Duquette from the Mets and tells him, "You know, Brian Cashman called a couple of days ago and really wanted Reggie Taylor to be Bernie Williams' replacement."
5:11 - Duquette gets this panicked look in his eyes and agrees to trade him Scott Kazmir for Reggie.
5:15 - As the guys leave the meetings and walk towards their bus, DanO drops a quarter in a beggar's cup which says in small letters "Save the Brewers". A strong breeze comes up and dislodges the beggar's toupee. The beggar turns out to be Bud Selig in disguise.
5:25 - The fellas board the bus for the hotel.
6:05 - The guys walk to their trasnsfer bus.
6:35 - The Reds contingent get back to their hotel
6:40 - Dan, Dave, Brad and Tim order dinner.
7:15 - The Dominos' delivery guy knocks on the door. Naehring answers and asks how much. The delivery guy says $12.50. Kullman tells him that he should get an employee discount cause he delivers for the Dominos in Delhi. Dan wonders if Tim has worked for the Reds just a bit too long.
7:35 - Naehring complains because the hotel doesn't have SpectraVision.
7:40 - The guys draw straws to see who sleeps where.

;)

missionhockey21
12-12-2003, 09:56 PM
LOL thats hilarious Chip! Very nice work man.:lol:

REDREAD
12-12-2003, 09:59 PM
:lol: :lol:

No way can I top the above..
Good work guys..

Redsland
12-12-2003, 10:08 PM
Originally posted by Chip R
12:25 - Waitress at K-Paul's asks Dan, Jr. what his order for lunch is. Dan asks if he can have a few minutes to decide.
12:45 - Waitress comes over to the table for the 4th time and asks if Dan, Jr. has decided. Dan, Jr. says, "After consulting with my dining partners, I think I'll have the Jambalaya."
1:10 - Waitress comes back with orders, Dan, Jr. gets the red beans and rice. He tells the waitress that he ordered the Jambalaya and she says, "A Mr. Lindner called and told us that you were supposed to get the red beans and rice."
1:30 - Dan, Jr. says to everyone in the car, "Boy, I'm sure glad I ordered the red beans and rice."
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:

Chip R, ladies and gentlemen! He'll be here all week!

:thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

RFS62
12-12-2003, 10:15 PM
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

This one HAS to go in the archives.

Great work, Chipper.


:beerme:

savafan
12-12-2003, 10:21 PM
That was the funniest most creative post I think I've ever read on this board. Thanks for making me laugh Chip! :beerme:

Redmachine2003
12-12-2003, 11:12 PM
Breaking News! Peter Gammons just said that he just obtained the 3 Ring binder that O'Brien used to get the Reds GM Job. It is label How to build a winner and save Money.
Back in O'Brien's room(oops I meant the entire Reds staff room). O'Brien addresses the entire group. "Now listen I told all of you that you couldn't even talk to Gammons let alone give him my secret book." "Now Mr Wood, you are my friend and I entrusted you with the book, what happened." Mr Wood Replies "I laid it on the table by your scout named Jim" Maddux says. "What was this Jim wearing." Wood Replies "Black leather pants and Def leapard t-shirt."

Ranjo17
12-12-2003, 11:15 PM
Great work Chip! :thumbup: Sad thing is why do I feel this is what is ac tually going down IN New Orleans?

RBA
12-12-2003, 11:26 PM
Chip. You're the Man! :beerme:

KronoRed
12-13-2003, 06:35 AM
:lol: :lol: :lol:

Krusty
12-13-2003, 10:28 AM
Chip, if that doesn't get the post of the year, there is no justice in the world.

I love it man.:beerme: