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View Full Version : NEW LIQUOR WARNING LABELS (for Puffy)



GAC
01-22-2005, 11:45 AM
>Due to increasing products liability litigation, American liquor manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers:
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>WARNING: - The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.
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>WARNING: - The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
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>WARNING: - The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
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>WARNING: - The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
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>WARNING: - The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
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>WARNING: - The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
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>WARNING: - The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
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>WARNING: - The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
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>WARNING: - The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
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>WARNING: - The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
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>WARNING: - The consumption of alcohol may be a major factor in getting your butt kicked.
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>WARNING: - the crumsumpten of alcahol may macke you tihnk you can tipe real gode.
>==========Endd of furwordid massoge---------------

Puffy
01-22-2005, 03:54 PM
I resemble some of those. Ok, most of those.

KronoRed
01-22-2005, 06:34 PM
I hope not the first one :help:

TeamCasey
01-22-2005, 07:55 PM
I'll take the fifth on the first one.

creek14
01-22-2005, 09:39 PM
I hope not the first one :help:
Ahhhh, those were the good old days. :devil:

GAC
01-23-2005, 06:22 AM
I'd like to add a few more. ;)

- the comsumption of alcohol can cause you to be standing in line at the stadium bathroom, then peeing down your leg trying to quickly zip up, when Big Mac hits the longest HR at Riverfront Stadium (it happened to about 30 of us :lol: )

- the consumption of alcohol may cause you to nap while Adam Dunn hits a game winning Hr. Thank God for Sports Center!

-the consumption of alcohol makes the walk down the stadium causeways trying to exit the game seem like forever (then you realize you're trying to go up the wrong way on an escalator).

-the consumption of alcohol makes window blinds no longer inanimate objects.

- the consumption of alcohol can cause one to hang over the rails after our BP blows another one and yell "NOBODY SCORES ON DANNY GRAVES!".

- the consumption of alcohol is necessary whenever John Allen steps up to a podium

- the comsumption of alcohol makes PHing Juan Castro for anyone in the bottom of the 9th seem like a logical move.

Red Heeler
01-23-2005, 10:23 AM
I'll take the fifth on the first one.

Do you mean it takes a fifth :all_cohol for the first one?