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Redsfaithful
03-23-2005, 12:18 AM
http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Number=1556673&page=0&view=collapsed&sb=9&o=14&vc=1


Good drunken debate from a few nights ago.

The question: How many 5 year-olds could you take on at once?

The specifics:

- You are in an enclosed area, roughly the size of a basketball court. There are no foreign objects.
- You are not allowed to touch a wall.
- When you are knocked unconscious, you lose. When they are all knocked unconscious, they lose. Once a kid is knocked unconscious, that kid is "out."
- I (or someone else intent on seeing to it you fail) get to choose the kids from a pool that is twice the size of your magic number. The pool will be 50/50 in terms of gender and will have no discernable abnormalities in terms of demographics, other than they are all healthy Americans.
- The kids receive one day of training from hand-to-hand combat experts who will train them specifically to team up to take down one adult. You will receive one hour of "counter-tactics" training.
- There is no protective padding for any combatant other than the standard-issue cup.
* The kids are motivated enough to not get scared, regardless of the bloodshed. Even the very last one will give it his/her best to take you down.

I set my magic number at 30, but upon reflection, I think I could take on a few more. How many could you take on?

I think I could take 40. What say you?

gonelong
03-23-2005, 12:43 AM
Bwaahahahha. What a funny thread. :)

GL

Larkin Fan
03-23-2005, 12:46 AM
I nearly spit my drink out on my monitor reading this. Great stuff.

wheels
03-23-2005, 03:37 AM
Man.....

I could take on at least sixty of those little suckers.

Gimme a few High Lives and I'll tackle eighty of 'em.

See...I'm a better fighter when I'm loaded.

Ravenlord
03-23-2005, 04:27 AM
let's see.....i'm 200 pounds, can bench 240...i'm trained in some Moo Duk Kwan, Tai Quando, Boxing, and Greco-Roman Wrestling...as well as a certified axe fighter...i'll have to go with 200 kids.

wheels
03-23-2005, 09:07 AM
I could whup me 13 Ravenlords too.


I wonder how many five year olds Jim Coombs could take?

RFS62
03-23-2005, 09:09 AM
I could whup me 13 Ravenlords too.


I wonder how many five year olds Jim Coombs could take?


Coombs could take them all out. He'd grab one of them by the ankles and use him as a weapon.

RedFanAlways1966
03-23-2005, 09:16 AM
Funny (in a strange way!) question.

Since I get to wear an athletic supporter with a cup inside, the most important thing in all of this in my opinion, I could take on at least 50 of the buggers. Make it 8-year-olds and I think the number gets cut in half at least.

Then again... the original "Home Alone" movie makes me wonder if I can take just one!

Redsfaithful
03-23-2005, 09:48 AM
I think the biggest factor is really fatigue. Taking out 50 little kids would leave most people pretty tired I think.

GoReds
03-23-2005, 10:12 AM
Depends on how recently I had been to a Chuck E. Cheese.

Blimpie
03-23-2005, 10:20 AM
Whew, thank goodness! When I first read the title, I thought this was going to be another Jacko thread. Put me down for a baker's dozen.... :bash:

Stewie
03-23-2005, 10:22 AM
The thing that amazes me is the fact that there was 39 pages worth of replies on that other board. That's nuts.


I think I could take out 40 to 50. Even though the kids get combat training, I can't see a 5 year old retaining that knowledge, let alone working together with other 5 year olds in order to use that combat knowledge. The one hour of counter-tactics training would be more than enough to thwart any attacks from the kids. Since I would get to wear a cup, I think the only thing I would have to watch out for is a shot to the back of the knee that could knock me off-balance before other kids jump in.

TC81190
03-23-2005, 11:52 PM
Those things have teeth. Just sayin'.

KronoRed
03-23-2005, 11:59 PM
None

kids freak me out :help:

Ravenlord
03-24-2005, 08:07 AM
I could whup me 13 Ravenlords too.BRING IT ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!! :duel:

bucksfan
03-24-2005, 01:50 PM
The only thing more funny than this question is the amount of time I have spent contemplating my serious answer, which has still resulted in no solid answer except that it is probably lower than I believe it to be!

Rojo
03-24-2005, 02:09 PM
as well as a certified axe fighter

Where does one get this certification? Is there a sanctioning body?

jmcclain19
03-24-2005, 02:28 PM
Where does one get this certification? Is there a sanctioning body?

Axe Fighters.....of......America?? :confused:

jmcclain19
03-24-2005, 02:33 PM
Ok, so you can't touch a wall, but what happens when the little swarm of locusts push you in that direction?

Are you out immediately

i'm blocked at work from looking at that thread, so I don't know if it's been brought up, but could I, for example, use a fat kid as a bat?

I think 30-40 sounds unreasonable, just due to the shear weight of all those kids.

Lets say I pick up Fatty McGee and start swinging him around, I could take out a good number, but it still doesn't preclude 10 other kids knocking me over by just bom rushing me from a blindside.

And as TC said, they have teeth, and at that age, would use 'em.

Maybe if I kicked a few kids in the nuts early on, intimidation would be a factor?

And bucksfan is correct, the premise is hilarious, I've been sitting here for 25-30 minutes figuring out a strategy.

GoReds
03-24-2005, 02:35 PM
Maybe if I kicked a few kids in the nuts early on, intimidation would be a factor?

You'd have to have pretty good aim. Those suckers are the size of raisins at that age and trying to get your foot in there takes a lot of effort.

Believe me.

jmcclain19
03-24-2005, 02:42 PM
You'd have to have pretty good aim. Those suckers are the size of raisins at that age and trying to get your foot in there takes a lot of effort.

Believe me.

Well, I'm guessing the size of my foot, if I get it in the area, could at least put a little fear into 'em.

But then again, if I'm rearing up to really kick some kid in the jewels, that's when 5 of them could be coming around my backside to jump on me.

ochre
03-24-2005, 02:52 PM
I think this has the makings of the next "great" reality show.

Reality because, you know, this type of stuff happens all the time right?

GoReds
03-24-2005, 02:53 PM
I think this has the makings of the next "great" reality show.

Reality because, you know, this type of stuff happens all the time right?

I don't know if it will happen or not, but I'm sure it's something TV execs have been "kicking around".

:MandJ:

GoReds
03-24-2005, 02:55 PM
A very sick coworker just thought of something - eye gouges.

That could be a very effective method.

Johnny Footstool
03-24-2005, 04:55 PM
The average 5 year old weighs 45 lbs.

Ten of them together = 450 lbs.

Twenty of them = 900 lbs.

I doubt anyone could withstand a bum rush of 20 of those little buggers.

At the very least, they would push you into a wall, causing you to violate the rules of the contest and lose by default.

GoReds
03-24-2005, 04:56 PM
Question about the rules - does the 'wall' rule go both ways? If you sling a kid or 10 into the wall, does that knock them out of the competition?

Final question - I know that death is not the objective, but is there a penalty?

wheels
03-24-2005, 05:06 PM
BRING IT ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!! :duel:


Be careful, man.

I'm pretty awesome with a bowstaff. :MandJ:

wheels
03-24-2005, 05:11 PM
The average 5 year old weighs 45 lbs.

Ten of them together = 450 lbs.

Twenty of them = 900 lbs.

I doubt anyone could withstand a bum rush of 20 of those little buggers.

At the very least, they would push you into a wall, causing you to violate the rules of the contest and lose by default.

No way 20 of 'em could hit me at one time, at least from one side, and if they hit me from all sides, I'd pretty much have to stand my ground, or if I fell over I'd probably crush one or two of 'em.

Ravenlord
03-24-2005, 06:28 PM
Where does one get this certification? Is there a sanctioning body?
Society for Creative Anachronism and Association for Renaissance Martial Arts. ARMA is really cool...whatever concept you have of ancient fighting arts, is totally wrong.

Raisor
03-24-2005, 07:36 PM
The last time I was involved in something like this (1st rule of Fight Club is DON'T TALK ABOUT FIGHT CLUB!), ummmm..


Nevermind..