View Full Version : Favorite South Park Quotes

05-03-2005, 08:31 PM
From week before lasts episode-

Butters: Hey! Who's dropping bombs in there? How about a courtesy flush?!
Cartman: Up yours, Butters!

*Jimmy knocks on stall*
Cartman:No room at the Inn, Virgin Mary.

Any more?

05-03-2005, 08:33 PM
How's the chili, Scott? Do you like it?

05-03-2005, 08:38 PM
I have a ton of wav files on my work computer...every once in awhile someone I work with will get one of them. :)

05-03-2005, 09:54 PM
You need to respect my author-i-tie.

Johnny Footstool
05-03-2005, 10:25 PM
You guys suck.


Reds Fanatic
05-03-2005, 11:01 PM
My favorite is Cartman's - Screw you guys I'm going home.

05-03-2005, 11:55 PM
Cartman: Just like these fetuses, I wasn't born yesterday.

05-04-2005, 12:08 AM
"I am Awesomo."

05-04-2005, 01:46 PM
I have tons of favorite quotes, however, a large majortiy of them will KILL my reputation!

05-04-2005, 01:52 PM
My favorite is Cartman's - Screw you guys I'm going home.


05-04-2005, 01:52 PM
"I am Awesomo."


05-04-2005, 01:54 PM
Brooke Shields: I once farted on the set of Blue Lagoon.

Mr. Garrison: I'm sorry Wendy, but I just don't trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die.

Cartman: I've been licking this carpet for three days and I still don't feel like a lesbian.

05-04-2005, 02:03 PM
Cartman at confessional:

"I once took the priest's sandwhich. That wasn't so bad, but it was the fact that took the meat, stuck it between my butt cheeks then put it back and watched him eat it."

"I pissed in the Holy Water that we used last Sunday."

"I took a crap on the sidewalk then blamed it on the neighbor's dog."

Red Leader
05-04-2005, 02:05 PM
Cartman: Your family's poor, Kenny!

05-04-2005, 02:06 PM
"I don't know......Eric's still in trouble for trying to exterminate the Jews."

05-04-2005, 02:08 PM
Cartman: I'm sorry for all those times I called you a stupid jew.
Kyle: But Cartman, I AM JEWISH.
Cartman: Don't be so hard on yourself.

05-04-2005, 03:16 PM
Stan: Hey Wendy!
Wendy: Stan do you have on your condom?
Stan: No
Wendy: Aggghhhh, go away!

05-04-2005, 03:51 PM
Satan: Saddam, do you think of other people when your with me?
Saddam: Satan, you *ss is big and red. Who am I gonna think of - Liza Minelli?

05-04-2005, 03:55 PM
Cartman: No Kitty.....No Kitty.....No Kitty this is my pot pie. MOM, KITTY'S BEING A D*LDO!

Cartman's Mom: Well I know a kitty kittly who's sleeping with Mommy tonight.

Cartman: .........What?

05-04-2005, 04:40 PM
Kenny: Mmmffll mmmrrrml rrml.

Patrick Bateman
05-04-2005, 05:18 PM
"If some girl was disrespecting me, I would be like: Hey you go bake me a pie"

05-04-2005, 06:32 PM
Rabbi: "O Moses, what do you desire?"

Moses: "...Macoroni shell pictures!"

05-04-2005, 06:57 PM
For worchestershire recipes, press one.

If worchestershire sauce has been used as an embalming fluid, press two.

05-05-2005, 01:12 AM
In no particular order...

You're a turd sandwich.

Gosh darn (masked profanity) you, Mongorrians!!!!!!!!

You ssink because I Chinee I know how buill wall!!!!!

FTFTFTFT!!!!!!!!! And that's how you get to the auto garage.

Stupid spoiled (masked profanity) video playset, let the whole world see your (masked profanity).

Just let me get high. I know I can remember it if I just get high.

05-05-2005, 08:14 AM
Hey...that kind of looks like...Tom Selleck.

Phase 1 - Collect underpants.
Phase 2 - .......
Phase 3 - Profit!

Cant Touch This
05-05-2005, 08:29 AM
Mr. Garrison: Let's start the day with a few new math problems -- what is five times two? C'mon children, don't be shy, just give it your best shot... Yes. Clyde?

Clyde: Twelve.

Mr. Garrison: Okay. Now let's try and get an answer from somebody who is not a complete retard. Anyone? Don't be shy...

Kyle: I think I know the answer, Mr. Garrison!
Cartman: ma-me-ma-me-ma-me-ma (mocking Kyle)
Kyle: Shut up fat boy.
Cartman: Hey! Dont' call me fat, you f***ing jew!!
Mr. Garrison: Eric! Did you just say the 'f word?'
Cartman: Jew??
Kyle: No, he's talking about f***. You can't say f*** in school you f***ing fat a**.
Mr. Garrison: Kyle!
Cartman: Why the f*** not?
Mr Garrison: Eric!
Stan: Dude, you just said f*** again.
Mr. Garrison: Stanley!
Kenny: mmmf
Mr. Garrison: Kenny!
Cartman: What's the big deal? It doesn't hurt anybody. f***, f***ety, f*** f*** f***.
Mr. Garrison: How would you like to go see the school counselor?
Cartman: How would you like to suck my balls?
(classroom gasp)
Mr. Garrison: What did you say?!
Cartman: Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry...(Clears throat and pulls out megaphone), actually what I said was, "How would you like to suck my balls, Mr. Garrison?"
Stan: Oh, f***.

05-05-2005, 01:24 PM
We're hunting the mexican staring frog from southern sri lanka.

How about a giant talking taco that craps ice cream?

and anything tweek says. Aggh!

05-05-2005, 01:47 PM
Stan: "You can't do that you big sthilly goosth!"
Randy:"What did you say?"
Stan: "What I called Cartman a big silly goose."
Randy: "You call your friend an @**hole like any other normal kid."
Stan: "But I don't want to."
Randy: "DO IT!!!"
Stan: "@**hole?"
Cartman: "Don't call me an @**hole ya sonuvab****!"

05-05-2005, 01:51 PM
In no particular order...

You're a turd sandwich.

Gosh darn (masked profanity) you, Mongorrians!!!!!!!!

You ssink because I Chinee I know how buill wall!!!!!

Say helro to my rittle friend Mongolyans!

I don't buill wall, I jas own & operate the $hity Wok!

Damnit, how come ev'time us Chinee build $hity wall stupid Mongolyans have to come knock it down?!

05-05-2005, 01:56 PM
On Mondays she's a b****
on Tuesday she's a b****
on Wednesday and Saturday she's a b****
then on Sunday just to different she's a major royal b****

Have you ever met my friend Kyle's mom she's the biggest b**** in the whole wide world!

I really mean it Kyle's mom, she's a big fat f****** b****, big ol' fat f****** b**** Kyle's Mom!!!!

Cartman: "What?" (turns around) oh f***!

05-05-2005, 02:08 PM
Barbara Streisand: Do you have any idea who I am?
Officer Barbrady: Well, you ain't Fiona Apple, and if you ain't Fiona Apple I don't give a rat's a**.

From Mega Striesand

Red Leader
05-05-2005, 02:19 PM

05-05-2005, 02:40 PM
Cartman: You guys are hella stupid.
Stan: Why do you keep saying 'hella", Cartman?
Cartman: 'Cuz I'm hella cool, that's why.

05-05-2005, 03:02 PM
Stan: "Dude, we don't have any musical talent."
Cartman: "That didn't stop any of the other boy bands, dumbass!"

05-05-2005, 03:23 PM
You see Starvin Marvin this is the buffet everyone comes to on Tuesday nights, cause you get all you want for $7.95. Except of course for Kenny's family cause for them $7.95 is 2 years income. Ahhhp foods here ta hell with the appitizers!

05-05-2005, 03:34 PM
Kyle: Gimme some of that candy Cartman.
Cartman: I don't have any jewish candy.
Kyle: Gimme some candy fatass.
Cartman: Ey!!! I'm big boned.

05-05-2005, 06:30 PM


05-05-2005, 09:43 PM
"Bad three-toed sloth!" (Catman)

05-06-2005, 09:54 AM
Here, intolerance…will not be tolerated.