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alex trevino
07-13-2005, 08:24 PM
What songs from the 1970's have the all time worse lyrics?

I think one of the worse I ever heard was from the 1970's hit (believe it or not) "Sometimes When we Touch"

"And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides"

This song would be more appropriately titled " Please love me even though I have no testicles"


Also is it just me or in the 1970's classic "Me and Mrs. Jones" by Billy Paul does the singer have a lisp?

I swear you can hear it cleary in one of the chrous

"Me and Mthss Mthss Jones, Mthss Jones Mthss Jones, we got a thing going on""


Also is the Song "Band of Gold" about a man have Erectile Dysfunction on his wedding night?

alex trevino
07-13-2005, 08:29 PM
Ok I have to add "Have you seen Her" by the Chi-Lites to this list. Not because the song is that bad (I actually kinda like it) but the "rap" portion is just bad.

for example:

"One month ago today
I was happy as a lark
But now I go for walks
To the movies - maybe to the park " :)





The Chi-Lites Have You Seen Her? lyrics
Intro (wordless vocals w/fuzz guitar) [2X]:

(spoken)

One month ago today
I was happy as a lark
But now I go for walks
To the movies - maybe to the park

And have a seat on the same old bench
To watch the children play (huh)
You know, tomorrow is their future
But to me, just another day

They all gather around me
They seem to know my name
We laugh, tell a few jokes
But it still doesnt ease my pain

I know I cant hide from a memory
Though day after day Ive tried
I keep sayin shell be back
But today again I lied

Verse 1:

Oh, I see her face everywhere I go
On the street, and even at the picture show
Have you seen her?
Tell me, have you seen her?

Verse 2:

Oh, I hear her voice as the cold winds blow
In the sweet music on my radio
Have you seen her?
Tell me, have you seen her?

Bridge:

Why, oh, why
Did she have to leave and go away [2: oh, yeah]
Oh-oh-oh, Ive been used to havin someone to lean on
And Im lost
Baby, Im lost (Oh)

[Repeat verse w/wordless vocal first two lines (2X)]

Verse 3:

Oh, she left her kiss upon my lips
But left that break within my heart
Have you seen her?
Tell me, have you seen her?

Verse 4:

Oh, I see her hand reaching out to me
Only she can set me free
Have you seen her?
Tell me, have you seen her?

[Repeat bridge]

[Repeat verse w/wordless vocal first 2 lines (4X)]

(spoken over 2nd and 3rd repeats):

As another day comes to an end
Im lookin for a letter or somethin
Anything that she would send
With all the people I know
Im still a lonely man
You know, its funny
I thought I had her in the palm of my hand

Coda [repeat to fade]:

Have you seen her
Tell me, have you seen her (tell me, have you seen her?)

Falls City Beer
07-13-2005, 08:32 PM
I don't know for sure, because I'm never quite sure what he's saying, but I think the line (mouthed through a talk-box) "I wanna woooo-auuuuuuuuunt you" from "Do You Feel Like We Do" by Peter Frampton ranks as one of the darkest moments in 1970s rock.

But again, that's just speculation.

alex trevino
07-13-2005, 08:41 PM
Be kind to Peter Frampton he does live in Cincinnati and is a Red's fan! But I agree with you FCB that is pretty bad. I am so glad that harp thing never did catch on.

KittyDuran
07-13-2005, 08:46 PM
Be kind to Peter Frampton he does live in Cincinnati and is a Red's fan! But I agree with you FCB that is pretty bad. I am so glad that harp thing never did catch on.He married a Reds fan - IIRC he's still a Shankees fan... :p:

redsfanmia
07-13-2005, 09:55 PM
I like Me and Mrs Jones I think it has no business being called one of the worst songs of the seventies. How about You light up my life?

Mutaman
07-13-2005, 10:30 PM
Ok I have to add "Have you seen Her" by the Chi-Lites to this list.

Tony Soprano is a huge Chi-Lites fan and he has pretty good taste in music. See episode #46- the steam room. Lots of decent songs are interupted by dopy raps. ie Elvis- "Are you lonesome tonight?" Plus, no matter how much you hate "Have you seen her", the Chi Lites more than made up for it with "Oh, Girl".

No, the Chi -Lites don't belong on this list. In fact I believe that any song Kiss ever put out in the 70s was worse than "Have you seen her".

Indeed, now that I think about it, have you ever listened to :

Abba
America
Tony Orlando and Dawn
Rick Dees
Leif Garrett
Terry Jacks
Lobo
Barry Manilow
Van McCoy
Three Dog Night

I'm just scratching the surface. Have you ever heard of disco?

I'm just warming up. No, "Have You Seen Her" doesn't even come close.

RBA
07-13-2005, 10:41 PM
Disco Duck?

RFS62
07-13-2005, 10:48 PM
I'm sorry. But this discussion begins and ends with the timeless classic by the Captain and Tennille, "Muskrat Love"

Thank you for attending. Now carry on.

Mutaman
07-13-2005, 10:54 PM
I'm sorry. But this discussion begins and ends with the timeless classic by the Captain and Tennille, "Muskrat Love"

Thank you for attending. Now carry on.

Pretty bad, but the Captain played with the Beach Boys for awhile, so I'm going to cut him a little slack.

traderumor
07-13-2005, 11:10 PM
"Feelings, oh oh oh, Feelings"

"You Light up my Life"

"Convoy" also a crappy movie

"Wichita Lineman"

"Wildfire" My radio alarm clock came on WLW and I swear that was the only song they had, because it came on every stinkin' day very early in the morning

"Horse with No Name"

"Ben"

"Feelin' Groovy"

"Bridge Over Troubled Waters"

"Age of Aquarias"

Oh, there were so many bad songs in the 70s, but those are the most annoying off the top of my head.

RBA
07-13-2005, 11:19 PM
Is this one from the 80's?

Crack that whip
Give the past the slip
Step on a crack
Break your momma’s back
When a problem comes along
You must whip it
Before the cream sits out too long
You must whip it
When something’s going wrong
You must whip it

Now whip it
Into shape
Shape it up
Get straight
Go forward
Move ahead
Try to detect it
It’s not too late
To whip it
Whip it good

When a good time turns around
You must whip it
You will never live it down
Unless you whip it
No one gets away
Until they whip it

I say whip it
Whip it good
I say whip it
Whip it good

Crack that whip
Give the past the slip
Step on a crack
Break your momma’s back
When a problem comes along
You must whip it
Before the cream sits out too long
You must whip it
When something’s going wrong
You must whip it

Now whip it
Into shape
Shape it up
Get straight
Go forward
Move ahead
Try to detect it
It’s not too late
To whip it
Into shape
Shape it up
Get straight
Go forward
Move ahead
Try to detect it
It’s not too late
To whip it
Whip it good

RFS62
07-13-2005, 11:20 PM
Wow, "Horse with no name" and "Bridge over troubled waters"?

No way, man!!!

RedsBaron
07-13-2005, 11:24 PM
"Wichita Lineman"


In my opinion there are at least two problems in listing "Wichita Lineman" as a bad song of the 1970s:
1. The song was released in 1968.
2. It is one of the greatest songs ever written or recorded. Glen Campbell had bigger hits (but not many) and Jimmy Webb wrote many songs that were huge hits, but both both the singer and the composer peaked with "Wichita Lineman." ...."and I need you more than want you, and I want you for all time, and the Wichita Lineman is still on the line...."

RBA
07-13-2005, 11:24 PM
I think as Reds fans we can reach an agreement on "We Are Family"

CrackerJack
07-13-2005, 11:29 PM
"I Got You Babe," anything by Peter Frampton and "Desperado."

Capt. & Tennille's Muskrat Love as mentioned above, could be the all-time worst, not just the 70's. I still don't know what that song's about exactly, and I'm not sure I want to.

RFS62
07-13-2005, 11:33 PM
In my opinion there are at least two problems in listing "Wichita Lineman" as a bad song of the 1970s:
1. The song was released in 1968.
2. It is one of the greatest songs ever written or recorded. Glen Campbell had bigger hits (but not many) and Jimmy Webb wrote many songs that were huge hits, but both both the singer and the composer peaked with "Wichita Lineman." ...."and I need you more than want you, and I want you for all time, and the Wichita Lineman is still on the line...."


Jimmy Webb did an hour interview on XM last month. It was incredible.

marcshoe
07-13-2005, 11:34 PM
Man there's some blasphemy on this thread!

And no one has even mentioned "Kung Fu Fighting" or Donna Summer's cover of "McArthur Park".

marcshoe
07-13-2005, 11:36 PM
In my opinion there are at least two problems in listing "Wichita Lineman" as a bad song of the 1970s:
1. The song was released in 1968.
2. It is one of the greatest songs ever written or recorded. Glen Campbell had bigger hits (but not many) and Jimmy Webb wrote many songs that were huge hits, but both both the singer and the composer peaked with "Wichita Lineman." ...."and I need you more than want you, and I want you for all time, and the Wichita Lineman is still on the line...."

I agree, but Webb said in a Fresh Air segment that the very line you quoted is one of his biggest regrets. Apparently the near rhyme bothers him.

Terri Gross was incredulous. So was I. I'd love to be able to write bad lines like that.

Mutaman
07-13-2005, 11:37 PM
In my opinion there are at least two problems in listing "Wichita Lineman" as a bad song of the 1970s:
1. The song was released in 1968.
2. It is one of the greatest songs ever written or recorded. Glen Campbell had bigger hits (but not many) and Jimmy Webb wrote many songs that were huge hits, but both both the singer and the composer peaked with "Wichita Lineman." ...."and I need you more than want you, and I want you for all time, and the Wichita Lineman is still on the line...."


Agreed. It's a great song.

Mutaman
07-13-2005, 11:38 PM
I think as Reds fans we can reach an agreement on "We Are Family"

Agreed. I still remember those Pirate wifes dancing on the dugout. I had hopes for that team. Seaver pitched just well enough to lose.

RedsBaron
07-13-2005, 11:43 PM
I agree, but Webb said in a Fresh Air segment that the very line you quoted is one of his biggest regrets. Apparently the near rhyme bothers him.

Terri Gross was incredulous. So was I. I'd love to be able to write bad lines like that.
Wow. That's interesting. I love that line.

RBA
07-13-2005, 11:55 PM
Ooh my little pretty one, pretty one.
When you gonna give me some time, Sharona?
Ooh you make my motor run, my motor run.
Gun it comin' off the line Sharona
Never gonna stop, give it up.
Such a dirty mind. Always get it up for the touch
of the younger kind. My my my i yi woo. M M M My Sharona...

Come a little closer huh, ah will ya huh.
Close enough to look in my eyes, Sharona.
Keeping it a mystery gets to me
Running down the length of my thighs, Sharona
Never gonna stop, give it up. Such a dirty mind.
Always get it up for the touch
of the younger kind. My my my i yi woo. M M M My Sharona...

When you gonna give it to me, give it to me.
It is just a matter of time Sharona
Is it just destiny, destiny?
Or is it just a game in my mind, Sharona?
Never gonna stop, give it up.
Such a dirty mind. Always get it up for the touch
of the younger kind. My my my i yi woo. M M M My Sharona...

macro
07-13-2005, 11:59 PM
Agreed. I still remember those Pirate wifes dancing on the dugout. I had hopes for that team. Seaver pitched just well enough to lose.

Frank Pulli's blown call of Dave Collins' catch of a fly ball in Game 2 cost the Reds that game. If Pulli makes the correct call, the series goes to Pittsburgh for Game 3 tied at one game apiece. Instead, the disheartened Reds were swept.

It would have been interesting to see how that series might have turned out if the correct call had been made. We might never have had to witness that silly dancing to that horrible song.

Larkin Fan
07-14-2005, 12:01 AM
In my opinion there are at least two problems in listing "Wichita Lineman" as a bad song of the 1970s:
1. The song was released in 1968.
2. It is one of the greatest songs ever written or recorded. Glen Campbell had bigger hits (but not many) and Jimmy Webb wrote many songs that were huge hits, but both both the singer and the composer peaked with "Wichita Lineman." ...."and I need you more than want you, and I want you for all time, and the Wichita Lineman is still on the line...."

Completely agree, RB. Can't understand how one of the best songs of all time could be included on a worst songs list.

Larkin Fan
07-14-2005, 12:02 AM
Wow, "Horse with no name" and "Bridge over troubled waters"?

No way, man!!!

I'm scratching my head on that too.

pedro
07-14-2005, 12:04 AM
"Rock On" by David Essex is the worst song of the 70's

macro
07-14-2005, 12:04 AM
As for the subject of the thread, I love 70s music (bought the entire AM Gold - Sounds of the 70s series from Time-Life :laugh: ), but I must confess that there are many good candidates for this thread.

Far too often...

70s music = http://www.varsity.cam.ac.uk/VarsityOnline/Online2/Content/News/Graphics/271198_dgloucester.jpg

pedro
07-14-2005, 12:05 AM
Besides "Bridge over Troubled waters" was released in 1969.

pedro
07-14-2005, 12:07 AM
"Rock and Roll Part 1" by Gary Glitter actually is the worst song ever.

RFS62
07-14-2005, 12:08 AM
All disco, no matter when released, is the Devil.

pedro
07-14-2005, 12:13 AM
All disco, no matter when released, is the Devil.

especially the bay city rollers and kc and the sunshine band. what a bunch of dreck.

pedro
07-14-2005, 12:14 AM
"Wichita Lineman" rocks.

KronoRed
07-14-2005, 12:22 AM
All disco, no matter when released, is the Devil.

Not funkytown! funkytown rocks!! :laugh:

registerthis
07-14-2005, 08:29 AM
I think this is pretty awful. Anyone want to take a stab at who it is?

Well, I'm lookin' at you,
And I'm wond'rin' what you're gonna do.
Looks like you got no friends,
No one to stick with you till the end.

Chorus
Take yourself a friend.
Keep 'em till the end.
Whether woman or man,
It makes you feel so good...
So good!

Yes, you think you're all right,
But now you're lonely ev'ry night.
Well, you need a friend,
Someone on whom you can always depend.

Chorus

Yes, you need some advice,
Well, let me put it to you nice.
I said you need a friend,
Someone who'll stick with you to the end.

Chorus

oneupper
07-14-2005, 08:53 AM
Rush -- Take a Friend

Bob Borkowski
07-14-2005, 08:58 AM
When I think of worst I think of 'Seasons in the Sun' by Terry Jacks.

Awful, awful, awful! :bang:

oneupper
07-14-2005, 09:07 AM
I've got to admit that the '70s produced some pretty bad music and some awful clothing to go with it.

Disco was awful (even for those of us who survived it). But it was "dance" music. Wasn't supposed to have good lyrics.

BTW "Ring My Bell" is my candidate to worst song.

But, please, don't mess with Frampton. I can still listen to that stuff (unlike some of the early Beatles songs which I used to love, but now get on my nerves).

In any case, I doubt history will be very forgiving with today's rap (yep, missing the c) and hip hop and their "icons" with the bling, piercings, "attitudes" and basketball "shorts".

:D

oneupper
07-14-2005, 09:08 AM
When I think of worst I think of 'Seasons in the Sun' by Terry Jacks.

Awful, awful, awful! :bang:

Goodbye "Papa"...It's hard to die...
when all the birds are singing in the sky..

traderumor
07-14-2005, 09:10 AM
In my opinion there are at least two problems in listing "Wichita Lineman" as a bad song of the 1970s:
1. The song was released in 1968.
2. It is one of the greatest songs ever written or recorded. Glen Campbell had bigger hits (but not many) and Jimmy Webb wrote many songs that were huge hits, but both both the singer and the composer peaked with "Wichita Lineman." ...."and I need you more than want you, and I want you for all time, and the Wichita Lineman is still on the line...."Wow, I was only three, wonder why it scarred me so? Maybe it was the "Hi! I'm Glean Cambull" show? Never was a big fan. :p:

It also strikes me as odd that a thread such as this, which is so opinion based (and musical threads are about as opinionated as political threads) why there are the "can't believe someone considers that a bad song," especially when no one has defined what qualifies something as a bad song? Is this a music critic thread or a personal opinion thread? By the way, "Bridge Over Troubled Waters" being released in '69 is kind of splitting a hair for criticism of my choice. It's a sappy song with sappy lyrics.

TeamCasey
07-14-2005, 09:14 AM
This song would be more appropriately titled " Please love me even though I have no testicles"


:laugh: This made me spit my coffee.

That said, I like 70's tunes because it was the time of my youth. It was stacks of 45s played on a little suitcase record player.

I love Kodachrome, Hot Child in the City, many of the one hit wonders! :) Who doesn't love a little afternoon delight. :devil:

Lot of cool groups too - Boston, Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin, Lynyrd Skynyrd, The Who, Elton John, Chicago, ELO, Aerosmith .......

traderumor
07-14-2005, 09:24 AM
BTW, I love late 60s and 70s music, but most of it is in the classic rock genre, not the easy listening stuff that I'm taking a beating for not caring for.

Danny Serafini
07-14-2005, 09:30 AM
Can I vote all of the above? 70s music in general doesn't do anything for me, but nothing makes my skin crawl like Anne Murray.

Then again, I actually liked MC Hammer's cover of "Have You Seen Her", so maybe I'm not fit to comment. :laugh:

Johnny Footstool
07-14-2005, 09:30 AM
I agree with "Seasons in the Sun" and "Wildfire." Story songs, especially about war or horses, should never be played on the radio. I also think any song containing the word "boogie" deserves consideration, especially "Boogie Oogie Oogie" by A Taste of Honey.

But no list of worst 70's songs is complete without this cat:
http://www.lastvestige.com/vinyl/picdisc/barry_manilow_lrg.jpg

Oh Mandy
You came and you gave without taking
But I sent you away...

Sweetstop
07-14-2005, 09:53 AM
A pair of muskrats share(s) our creek with assorted beavers, a Little Blue heron, a pair of mallards, frogs, fishies and one cross, jabbering kingfisher. Every time I see the muskrats, their awful anthem, courtesy of the Captain and the lovely Toni, gets stuck in my head. Muskrat Love has my vote.

Hap
07-14-2005, 09:59 AM
Stand Tall -- Burton Cummings

Let Her In -- John Travolta

oneupper
07-14-2005, 10:02 AM
BTW Muskrat Love is actually a song by America.

Captain and Tenille did a cover adding the annoying little "muskratty" sounds...(ugh).

Don't Give Up on Us Baby -- Hutch (from Starsky & Hutch)...is up there with "Muskrat Love" (in that mushy category) IMO.

registerthis
07-14-2005, 10:05 AM
Rush -- Take a Friend
You win the prize.

The prize being, of course, that you never have to listen to that song again.

LincolnparkRed
07-14-2005, 10:10 AM
I know that it may be popular again because of Anchorman but I alway thought it was awful in a funny way


Afternoon Delight
( Starland Vocal Band )

Gonna find my baby, gonna hold her tight
Gonna grab some afternoon delight
My motto's always been 'when it's right, it's right'
Why wait until the middle of a cold dark night?
When everything's a little clearer in the light of day
And we know the night is always gonna be there any way

Thinkin' of you's workin' up my appetite
Looking forward to a little afternoon delight
Rubbin' sticks and stones together makes the sparks ingite
And the thought of lovin' you is getting so exciting
Sky rockets in flight
Afternoon delight
Afternoon delight
Afternoon delight

Started out this morning feeling so polite
I always though a fish could not be caught who wouldn't bite
But you've got some bait a waitin' and I think I might try nibbling
A little afternoon delight
Sky rockets in flight
Afternoon delight
Afternoon delight
Afternoon delight

Please be waiting for me, baby, when I come around
We could make a lot of lovin' 'for the sun goes down

Thinkin' of you's workin' up my appetite
Looking forward to a little afternoon delight
Rubbin' sticks and stones together makes the sparks ingite
And the thought of lovin' you is getting so exciting
Sky rockets in flight
Afternoon delight
Afternoon delight
Afternoon delight

Afternoon delight!

RedsFan75
07-14-2005, 10:57 AM
So many of the songs in the 70's had so much overt innuendo that it's amazing they could play them in those days. The FCC was a tad stricter then.

That being said... I survived Disco and oh how I hated it.

I was listening to KISS, Pink Floyd, the Eagles, Boston, Zeppelin, Skynyrd, etc...

The wonderful woman who would become my wife was a Manilow, Bread, other soft sappy artist type and I've had to endure my fair share of the sap...

Although for some reason that's hard even for me to understand, I did like Manilow's "Weekend in New England"....

Can we forget....
Don’t Go Breaking My Heart," Kiki Dee & Elton John
A Little Bit Country, A Little Bit Rock and Roll" - Donnie And Marie Osmond
"You're Having My Baby" - Paul Anka
Silly Love Songs" by Paul McCartney (How the mighty fell)

registerthis
07-14-2005, 11:07 AM
Is "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald" a 1970s song?

because if so, I nominate that.

IowaRed
07-14-2005, 11:12 AM
I grew up in the 70's and really like most of the songs mentioned on this thread-even Wildfire and almost everything by America. I also like those dumb story songs Billy Don't be a Hero-Bo Donaldson & the Heywoods, The Night Chicago Died-Paper Lace, Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia-Vicki Lawrence, etc. A few nominations though

Chuck E's in Love-Rickie Lee Jones
Makin It-David Naughton
Da Do Ron Ron-Shaun Cassidy

pedro
07-14-2005, 11:55 AM
Hellen Reddy -I am Woman

RBA
07-14-2005, 12:00 PM
Does anyone else remember that Gong Show episode where every contestant sang "Feelings"?

Mutaman
07-14-2005, 12:18 PM
Wow, I was only three, wonder why it scarred me so? Maybe it was the "Hi! I'm Glean Cambull" show? Never was a big fan. :p:

It also strikes me as odd that a thread such as this, which is so opinion based (and musical threads are about as opinionated as political threads) why there are the "can't believe someone considers that a bad song," especially when no one has defined what qualifies something as a bad song? Is this a music critic thread or a personal opinion thread? By the way, "Bridge Over Troubled Waters" being released in '69 is kind of splitting a hair for criticism of my choice. It's a sappy song with sappy lyrics.

Its called taste.

pedro
07-14-2005, 12:32 PM
Wow, I was only three, wonder why it scarred me so? Maybe it was the "Hi! I'm Glean Cambull" show? Never was a big fan. :p:

It also strikes me as odd that a thread such as this, which is so opinion based (and musical threads are about as opinionated as political threads) why there are the "can't believe someone considers that a bad song," especially when no one has defined what qualifies something as a bad song? Is this a music critic thread or a personal opinion thread? By the way, "Bridge Over Troubled Waters" being released in '69 is kind of splitting a hair for criticism of my choice. It's a sappy song with sappy lyrics.

That's what makes these threads fun. Of course everyone is going to have a different opinion of what constitutes fingernails on the chalk board. I don;t think anyone means any harm when they disagree.

boomersooner
07-14-2005, 12:33 PM
I kinda like the song "Let's Get It On" by Marvin Gaye. BUt the song that I hate and I can't stand is YMCA. That song is just plain stoooooooopid.

Mutaman
07-14-2005, 12:34 PM
"I am a lineman for the county...."

by Peter Blackstock

Those unforgettable words first rang out of the radio in 1968, with songwriter Jimmy Webb's majestic melody gliding on the wings of Glen Campbell's sweetly aching, longing croon into the No. 3 spot on the Billboard charts a few weeks later. It was the only time "Wichita Lineman" was a hit, but far from the last time it was recorded. More than 50 versions of the song have been committed to wax, with the remakes ranging from country to pop to soft-rock to hard-rock to soul to folk to jazz to muzak. Perhaps most significant has been the recent revival of the song, with contemporary artists from R.E.M. to Freedy Johnston to the Scud Mountain Boys hoppin' the Wichita train.

So here's a critical assessment of the 10 best versions:

10. Tennessee Ernie Ford, from The New Wave: Pop plus Country plus Rock (Capitol, circa 1969). A simple, straightforward recording that coasts on the strength of Ford's rich, warm vocal.

9. Jose Feliciano, from Encore! Jose Feliciano's Finest Performances (RCA, 1971). He may wanna wish you a Merry Christmas from the bottom of his heart, but he's also got a fine, subtle touch with an acoustic guitar, as this gracefully understated instrumental demonstrates.

8. Urge Overkill, single, circa 1988; also available on the Americruiser/Jesus Urge Superstar double CD reissue (Touch & Go, 1990). It appears Urge was at the forefront of the "Wichita" revival. For pure wall-of-guitar grandeur, this is the clear winner (though in truth it's toned down a bit from Urge's usual wail, and that's a good thing in this case).

7. Ray Charles, from Volcanic Action of My Soul (ABC, circa 1970). It's pretty easy for Ray to tackle just about any song and put himself in the Top 10. Bonus points for spoken-word ad-lib near the end: "And the Wichita Lineman – that's me, baby – is still on the line!"

6. Ghost Of An American Airman, from Skin (Hollywood, 1993). A remarkably well-done, radio-ready anthemic-rock read highlighted by Dodge McKay's strong vocal performance. The relatively slick UK rockers actually outdo Urge in terms of sheer bombast.

5. Chris & Carla, from Shelter For An Evening (Sub Pop Europe, 1993). The most drastically reworked cut of the bunch is turned in by Walkabouts leaders Chris Eckman and Carla Torgerson performing as an acoustic duo. Eckman says the darker melodic turns were a result of never quite figuring out the proper chords, which is just as well, because this version brings out a haunting magic that wasn't there originally.

4. Maria McKee, bonus track from a U.K. CD-single of "I Can't Make It Alone" (1993, Geffen). I'm not sure whether the atmosphere here was carefully staged or spontaneously captured, but this sounds like it was recorded in a fern bar populated by about 10 people who had no idea who McKee was. The slight background patter enhances the feel of this beautiful piano-and-vocal-only version – the only one on record to date by a female solo artist.

3. O.C. Smith, from For Once in My Life (Columbia, circa 1969). You'd think the most soulful version of "Wichita Lineman" would be the one recorded by Smokey Robinson & the Miracles, or perhaps the one by the Originals, or maybe Tom Jones' effort. But O.C. Smith far and away outsmokes 'em all. He rips through "Wichita" with a smoothly burnin' 'n' churnin' energy so infectious that he pulls off the finest musical reinterpretation of the song to date.

2. Glen Campbell, from Wichita Lineman (Capitol, 1968). There's a reason this one was the big hit: It's far and away the crowning moment of Campbell's considerable career. More than 25 years later, this is still the definitive version, capable of bringing back a flood of childhood memories and an uncommon case of the chills when it reaches the line, "And I need you more than want you/And I want you for all time."

1. Joe Reisman & His Orchestra, from Happiness Is (nine-LP compilation, Reader's Digest/RCA Custom, 1970). What the hell?! you're probably thinking to yourself right about now. A muzak version at the top of the list?

OK, here's the deal: More than anything, what makes "Wichita Lineman" a classic song, and what makes Jimmy Webb a classic songwriter, is melody, pure and simple. Sure, Webb also has a gift of sorts for words – ya gotta hand it to a guy who's willing to go so far out on a limb sometimes that he falls flat on his ass ("Someone left the cake out in the rain" from "MacArthur Park"; "Goddamn you and your dirty joke" from "Gayla"). Especially when it sometimes results in wonders such as "Love is a glass of wine balanced on the siderail of a ship" ("Asleep on the Wind") – or, "And I need you more than want you / And I want you for all time."

But without Webb's abnormally exquisite sense of melody, the words would be merely misplaced poetry. It's the way Webb works in and out of standard keys, over and around the notes you might expect, and somehow finds a musical direction to move the soul that makes the magic in "Wichita Lineman."

As such, the potential for the most pure expression of this song lies with instrumental versions. Not that all of 'em are good: Believe me, I suffered through countless takes by the Peter Neros and Lenny Dees of the world to find one that reached beyond mere elevator fodder. Reisman's arrangement – from the tender, countrified harmonica strain at the start, to the masterfully gradual full-orchestra climax, to the denouement return to that simple harmonica – is nothing short of perfection.

Also-rans....
VOCAL – Alan Copeland Singers; Andy Williams; Billy Sherrill Group; Brothers Four; Eddy Arnold; Flying Saucers; Freedy Johnston; Jack Greene; Jim Nabors; Jimmy Webb (live); Lonesome Valley Singers; Meters; Nashville Country Singers; Originals; Ray Charles Singers; Ray Conniff & The Singers; Rusty Draper; Scud Mountain Boys; Smokey Robinson & The Miracles; The Lettermen; Tom Jones; Tony Joe White.

INSTRUMENTAL – 101 Strings Plus Guitars Galore; Ace Cannon; Al Caiola; Al De Lory; Al Hirt; Arthur Fiedler & The Boston Pops; Bob White; Boots Randolph; Frank Chacksfield; Glenn Miller Orchestra; Heartaches; Jose Feliciano; Lenny Dee; Longines Symphonette Society; Peter Nero; Ronnie Aldrich; The Sounds Of Our Times; Tony Mottola.

traderumor
07-14-2005, 12:45 PM
Its called taste.Oh brother. So what you like constitutes taste. Duly noted. :rolleyes:

Blimpie
07-14-2005, 12:45 PM
"Rock and Roll Part 1" by Gary Glitter actually is the worst song ever.Agreed. Please tell that to every "marketing" person that works for an NBA team?

Blimpie
07-14-2005, 12:47 PM
Rush -- Take a FriendHey, that song may have cheesy lyrics--but it has a killer guitar solo in the middle of it... :beerme:

Blimpie
07-14-2005, 12:55 PM
"Copacabana" - Barry Manilow
"Indian Reservation" - The Raiders

traderumor
07-14-2005, 01:03 PM
"Half Breed"--Cher

registerthis
07-14-2005, 01:26 PM
Hey, that song may have cheesy lyrics--but it has a killer guitar solo in the middle of it... :beerme:
Yeah, that was back when they were ripping off Zeppelin. I perosnally prefer Alex Lifeson's later solos, when he had developed his own style.

And goodness, yes, the lyrics are awful, as are most on their first album.

Mutaman
07-14-2005, 02:00 PM
Oh brother. So what you like constitutes taste. Duly noted. :rolleyes:

No, what I like constitutes "good taste". Of course greater writers and thinkers than us have discussed and argued this subject, but I submit that when it comes to art there are certain absolutes. Like Duke Ellington said, there's only two kinds of music- good music and bad music. Now you may argue that Britney Spears is a greater artist than Miles Davis or that your 3 year old's finger painting is a greater work of art than the Mona Lisa, and you would be entitled to your opinion. But that doesn't mean your opinion has a lot of merit. Whether you judge a song by its position on the charts, how many awards it has received, how many other artists have covered it, or what professional writers say about it (see post 58), or just that innate sense that allows us to judge "Like a Rolling Stone" a more worthwhile work of Art than "Disco Duck", I submit that anyone who calls "Wichita Lineman" or "Bridge over Troubled Water" "bad" songs, simply doesn't listen to much music. Or just has poor taste. Its like someone calling "The Night Watch" a terrible painting. You have a right to that opinion, but most people, particularly most experts, would disagree with you.

traderumor
07-14-2005, 02:14 PM
No, what I like constitutes "good taste". Of course greater writers and thinkers than us have discussed and argued this subject, but I submit that when it comes to art there are certain absolutes. Like Duke Ellington said, there's only two kinds of music- good music and bad music. Now you may argue that Britney Spears is a greater artist than Miles Davis or that your 3 year old's finger painting is a greater work of art than the Mona Lisa, and you would be entitled to your opinion. But that doesn't mean your opinion has a lot of merit. Whether you judge a song by its position on the charts, how many awards it has received, how many other artists have covered it, or what professional writers say about it (see post 58), or just that innate sense that allows us to judge "Like a Rolling Stone" a more worthwhile work of Art than "Disco Duck", I submit that anyone who calls "Wichita Lineman" or "Bridge over Troubled Water" "bad" songs, simply doesn't listen to much music. Or just has poor taste. Its like someone calling "The Night Watch" a terrible painting. You have a right to that opinion, but most people, particularly most experts, would disagree with you.

"Absolutes in art" is not something I would agree with you on. Anytime folks start talking about "good and bad" in music, especially with popular music of various genres, everyone has their own absolutes, which, by defintion, means there are no absolutes. How about just leaving this subject to folks' opinions and asking them why if you disagree, rather than trying to uphold your "good taste" as the only valid opinion?

registerthis
07-14-2005, 02:24 PM
I tend not to believe in "absolutes in art" because I view all art as subjective.

I personally don't have much appreciation for twisted hunks of metal that are deemed to be "sculptures" and placed in front of the Hirschorn Museum. There are some, though, that would argue that they are the most phenomenal works of art to grace our great planet.

Musically, it's difficult for me to understand why someone would think "bridge Over Troubled Water" is a bad song, but perhaps they prefer louder music, or there's something in the melody they don't like, or what have you. The point being, artistic taste is completely subjective, and simply because a majority of experts hold a particular piece in high esteem does not necessarily mean that it is absolutely "good."

I am reminded of John Cage's piece, "4:34", which consists of four minutes and thirty four seconds of silence. The "music" in the piece is whatever background noise happens to occur during this time. Obviously, Cage's intent was to stretch the definition of what we consider to be "art" or "music".

Blimpie
07-14-2005, 02:24 PM
Yeah, that was back when they were ripping off Zeppelin. I perosnally prefer Alex Lifeson's later solos, when he had developed his own style.

And goodness, yes, the lyrics are awful, as are most on their first album.I assume you mean "ripping off Page" and not Led Zeppelin. I find zero similarities between the two groups during that era of their music.

I agree that Rush's lyrics were never memorable until Neil Peart began writing most of them. Of course, he wasn't the drummer on Rush's first album. However, you must admit that songs like "Working Man" or "Finding My Way" will always be considered great rock songs because of their music--not their lyrics.

registerthis
07-14-2005, 02:30 PM
I assume you mean "ripping off Page" and not Led Zeppelin. I find zero similarities between the two groups during that era of their music.

I agree that Rush's lyrics were never memorable until Neil Peart began writing most of them. Of course, he wasn't the drummer on Rush's first album. However, you must admit that songs like "Working Man" or "Finding My Way" will always be considered great rock songs because of their music--not their lyrics.
Well, Rush used to play a bunch of Zeppelin covers in their early sets, and I remember a bio of the band where geddy lee stated that Zeppelin were one of the bands they tried to emulate early on, between his singing, Alex's guitar playing and John Rutney's drumming. I mean, you may not hear Zeppelin in early Rush tunes, but its pretty clear from the band themselves that they were an early influence on the band's career.

As far as Working Man goes, I always found the riff to be more annoying than anything...i guess the song rocks, but considering what they did later in their career, I think the song, and the entire album, is really sub-par. REALLY sub-par.

Mutaman
07-14-2005, 02:43 PM
Shakespeare vs. Britney Spears- What is Art?

http://www.philosophersnet.com/games/britney_spears.htm

Blimpie
07-14-2005, 02:51 PM
Well, Rush used to play a bunch of Zeppelin covers in their early sets, and I remember a bio of the band where geddy lee stated that Zeppelin were one of the bands they tried to emulate early on, between his singing, Alex's guitar playing and John Rutney's drumming. I mean, you may not hear Zeppelin in early Rush tunes, but its pretty clear from the band themselves that they were an early influence on the band's career.

As far as Working Man goes, I always found the riff to be more annoying than anything...i guess the song rocks, but considering what they did later in their career, I think the song, and the entire album, is really sub-par. REALLY sub-par.I think you mean, John Rutsey--the Pete Best of American Bands. With regards to being influenced by Zeppelin, there wasn't a single rock band writing music during that era that could say anything different...

Mutaman
07-14-2005, 03:03 PM
With regards to being influenced by Zeppelin, there wasn't a single rock band writing music during that era that could say anything different...

If true, I hope they didn't give Zep credit. It would be ironic pay back for the biggest ripoffs in the history of R & R. No band can compete with these guys for stealing music from their forebears and putting their own names on it. Nobody can compete with them for the number of lawsuits brought against them for this abuse.

Blimpie
07-14-2005, 03:07 PM
If true, I hope they didn't give Zep credit. It would be ironic pay back for the biggest ripoffs in the history of R & R. No band can compete with these guys for stealing music from their forebears and putting their own names on it. Nobody can compete with them for the number of lawsuits brought against them for this abuse.Nor can they compete with the sheer number of (Zeppelin) imitators and wannabes that were formed for many years hence as a result of their music.

By the way, in my estimations, lawsuits usually follow money...

registerthis
07-14-2005, 03:10 PM
I've never personally cared much for Zeppelin. There are other, far better bands in r & R, in my opinion. And John Bonham has to be one of the most overrated drummers of all time. Yes, he was competent and occasionally excessive and overblown, but I can think of many, many drummers I have heard whom i would place ahead of John Bonham.

Blimpie
07-14-2005, 03:12 PM
I've never personally cared much for Zeppelin. There are other, far better bands in r & R, in my opinion. And John Bonham has to be one of the most overrated drummers of all time. Yes, he was competent and occasionally excessive and overblown, but I can think of many, many drummers I have heard whom i would place ahead of John Bonham.I agree with you on Bonham as a drummer. I would take Keith Moon or Neil Peart over him any day.

traderumor
07-14-2005, 03:23 PM
Shakespeare vs. Britney Spears- What is Art?

http://www.philosophersnet.com/games/britney_spears.htm

Shakespeare had some great dance moves, but there is just something different about the styles between the two. It's kinda hard to put my finger on exactly what that might be... ;)

registerthis
07-14-2005, 03:33 PM
I agree with you on Bonham as a drummer. I would take Keith Moon or Neil Peart over him any day.
Yeah, it seems like he's celebrated more for his excessiveness than for the actual talent he brought to his drumming.

Jimmy Page could play though.

Mutaman
07-14-2005, 07:40 PM
By the way, in my estimations, lawsuits usually follow money...

Wilson & Alroy's Record Reviews
http://www.warr.org/zep.html#Thieves


These guys sound great until you hear all the old records they stole their riffs from.....
Now by popular demand! A list of some of the songs Zep stole from other artists:

* "Babe I'm Gonna Leave You" - A folk song by Anne Bredon, this was originally credited as "traditional, arranged by Jimmy Page," then "words and music by Jimmy Page," and then, following legal action, "Bredon/Page/Plant."
* "Black Mountain Side" - uncredited version of a traditional folk tune previously recorded by Bert Jansch.
* "Bring It On Home" - the first section is an uncredited cover of the Willie Dixon tune (as performed by the imposter Sonny Boy Williamson).
* "Communication Breakdown" - apparently derived from Eddie Cochran's "Nervous Breakdown."
* "Custard Pie" - uncredited cover of Bukka White's "Shake 'Em On Down," with lyrics from Sleepy John Estes's "Drop Down Daddy."
* "Dazed And Confused" - uncredited cover of the Jake Holmes song (see The Above Ground Sound Of Jake Holmes).
* "Hats Off To (Roy) Harper" - uncredited version of Bukka White's "Shake 'Em On Down."
* "How Many More Times" - Part one is an uncredited cover of the Howlin' Wolf song (available on numerous compilations). Part two is an uncredited cover of Albert King's "The Hunter."
* "In My Time Of Dying" - uncredited cover of the traditional song (as heard on Bob Dylan's debut).
* "The Lemon Song" - uncredited cover of Howlin' Wolf's "Killing Floor" - Wolf's publisher sued Zeppelin in the early 70's and settled out of court.
* "Moby Dick" - written and first recorded by Sleepy John Estes under the title "The Girl I Love," and later covered by Bobby Parker.
* "Nobody's Fault But Mine" - uncredited cover of the Blind Willie Johnson blues.
* "Since I've Been Lovin' You" - lyrics are the same as Moby Grape's "Never," though the music isn't similar.
* "Stairway To Heaven" - the main guitar line is apparently from "Taurus" by Spirit.
* "White Summer" - uncredited cover of Davey Graham's "She Moved Through The Fair."
* "Whole Lotta Love" - lyrics are from the Willie Dixon blues "You Need Love."

I'm not listing covers that the band credited to the actual authors ("You Shook Me") or the less blatant ripoffs (the "Superstition" riff in "Trampled Underfoot"). If you have anything to add to this list, please tell me. (DBW)

RedFanAlways1966
07-14-2005, 09:01 PM
The LZ take on old blues songs is well-known. But to badmouth LZ... not too many are brash enough to do that. A lot of bands from that time period did exactly the same thing. Why? Because the old blues songs were the thing to ripoff in those days. But they were played with electric instruments and more "rocked up". And LZ admits to it.

There are not to many groups that don't "ripoff" others. What are there in a musical scale... 12 notes? Kind of hard not to take something from someone. Obviously the number of LZ albums sold show that their ultimate ripoff did not bother too many people. Or Rolling Stones fans, or Cream fans, or Yardbirds fans, etc, etc, etc.

Page's playing is referenced by many famous guitarists after him. That in itself is the ultimate compliment. Regardless of those who may find him and his band one of the worst. Being an influence to many others that followed in your footsteps is better than the opinion of what is and isn't good taste. But being an original guitar player is tough. 12 notes in a scale, right? Tell me an original living guitar player... and I'll tell ya you are wrong. Innovative guitar players who build the yellow-brick road for others who follow? One of them is named Jimmy Page.

Reds Nd2
07-14-2005, 09:53 PM
That said, I like 70's tunes because it was the time of my youth. It was stacks of 45s played on a little suitcase record player.

With the funky looking grill in front that looked like melted wax, but playing one song at a time sucked. God I love my CD player. :)


Hot Child in the City :)

Lot of cool groups too - Boston, Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin, Lynyrd Skynyrd, The Who, Elton John, Chicago, ELO, Aerosmith .......

Nick Gilder rocks. :thumbup:

alex trevino
07-14-2005, 10:19 PM
Ian Hunter Rocked too...or is that cleveland that rocks? I am confused.

God Bless The J. Giels Band

Reds Nd2
07-14-2005, 10:38 PM
Oh brother. So what you like constitutes taste. Duly noted. :rolleyes:

Don't sweat it dude. It may constitute taste, but I've never even heard the song, and I love most types of music. Your opinion is just as valid as anyone elses. In fact, the first song mentioned, as being the worst, is one I grew up listening to in the 70's and I love it. Is it the best? Probably not. Is it the worst? Probably not. Just listen to what you love and when a post like this comes along, post some songs that stir your emotions and maybe someone else will find a song they've never heard before.

http://www.blueyze.com/whenwetouch.html

What I can't understand is why four pages of the worst songs of the 1970's have passed and not one person has mentioned Shaun Cassidy's rip off of the Crystals "Da Doo Ron Ron"? :)

SandyD
07-14-2005, 10:59 PM
Local cabaret theatre here in New Orleans did a show called "The Jukebox from Hell." I missed the show, but the soundtrack was playing during the intermission of another play we saw. A lot of the songs mentioned were included. Including The Night Chicago Died.

But I'm surprised no one has mentioned:

"Julie, Julie, Julie do you love me ..."

or

"And the operator said 40 cents more for the next three minutes ... (insert your best wail here) "Ple ... ease Mrs. Avery ..."

I can't bear to go on.

Mutaman
07-14-2005, 11:01 PM
The LZ take on old blues songs is well-known. But to badmouth LZ... not too many are brash enough to do that. A lot of bands from that time period did exactly the same thing.

But not to the outrageous extent Led Zep did it. See post # 78


Why? Because the old blues songs were the thing to ripoff in those days. But they were played with electric instruments and more "rocked up". And LZ admits to it.

There are not to many groups that don't "ripoff" others. What are there in a musical scale... 12 notes? Kind of hard not to take something from someone

Fine, but then give the artist you "borrowed" from credit on the album. After all this means significant money. Moreover, Zep "borrowed" from a lot of Chicago guys who played electric instuments.


Obviously the number of LZ albums sold show that their ultimate ripoff did not bother too many people.

Probably because nobody had ever heard the originals before. For example, I just hear Wolf's "Killing Floor" recently for the first time, and realized, after 30 years, that Zepl had covered it note for note without giving him credit.


Or Rolling Stones fans, or Cream fans, or Yardbirds fans, etc, etc, etc.

In fact just the opposite is true. Clapton is well known for giving credit where credit is due. Cream could have easily gotten away with taking credit for "I'm So Glad" on their first album. Nobody had ever heard it before and nobody had ever heard of Skip James. But Clapton gave him credit, and as a result Skip James was introduced to a lot of people and actually played Newport on several occasions therafter. Morever the residuals from "I'm So Glad" let him live his final years in relative comfort. The Stones have taken some liberties but nowhere near the extent Page did. And if you look at the Stones first few albums, which were all covers, the songs were all properly credited.


Page's playing is referenced by many famous guitarists after him. That in itself is the ultimate compliment. Regardless of those who may find him and his band one of the worst. Being an influence to many others that followed in your footsteps is better than the opinion of what is and isn't good taste. But being an original guitar player is tough. 12 notes in a scale, right?

Nobody's claiming Page isn't incredibly talented and nobody says that often he didn't improve the songs he covered. My complaint is he failed to give credit where credit is due.


Tell me an original living guitar player... and I'll tell ya you are wrong. Innovative guitar players who build the yellow-brick road for others who follow? One of them is named Jimmy Page.

I think Ike Turner is still alive. And Buddy Guy, BB King, David "Honeyboy" Edwards. Robert Jr. Lockwood. I consider Steve Cropper a true original. Has Chuck Berry passed recently? Many people, probably Jimmy Page among them, would agree that he invented a certain style of playing. i consider Clapton as innovative as Page- see "Bluesbreakers" and Layla. Theres also a guy named James Burton who played behind Rickey Nelson, Merle, Gram Parson's and the King, who many consider a true original . I think they call his style "chicken picking". Listen to the two Gram Parsons lps or Merle's stuff from the early 60's and you'll know what I'm talking about.

Bob Borkowski
07-15-2005, 12:03 AM
What I can't understand is why four pages of the worst songs of the 1970's have passed and not one person has mentioned Shaun Cassidy's rip off of the Crystals "Da Doo Ron Ron"? :)

Uhhh...better check out post #52 on page 3. Iowa Red already mentioned it. :D

Johnny Vander m
07-15-2005, 12:23 AM
I know most Zoners, maybe none care for country music, I did back then but in the 70"s the worst country song was by the Blanchards, call "The Tennessee Bird Walk" Anyone remember it? FWIW, when I lived in Nashville in the early 80's I had a date with their daughter, one time only now mind you, found out the next day or so she was a hooker. Oh well, she didn't charge me. :beerme: Of course I am a salesman and a gentleman, I told her I loved the song. :devil:

Reds Nd2
07-15-2005, 12:51 AM
Uhhh...better check out post #52 on page 3. Iowa Red already mentioned it. :D

Wow! Totally missed that. :redface:

alex trevino
07-15-2005, 07:31 AM
Yes SANDY D! I forgot about 'The Night Chicago Died"!

"I heard somebody say about 100 cops were dead"

I think perhaps there is some historical innaccuracies with this song. I am sure if there were a crack down on the Cappone Mob which lead to the deaths of 100 cops it would have made the newspapers. :-)


Did anyone mention "Run, Joey Run" about a girl encouraging her BF to run from her father before he killed him for impregnanting her? Now that was a great song lol

SunDeck
07-15-2005, 07:50 AM
Anybody remember that nun singing the Lord's Prayer?
Others on my list:

MacArthur Park
Piano Man
Afternoon Delight
Beth
I write the Songs
Theme from Love Story
I'll never Fall in Love Again
Wildfire (What horse could possibly be killed by a frost?)
Billy, Don't be a Hero
While I'm on Billies...Billie Jack.
Everything by Bread

Falls City Beer
07-15-2005, 10:50 AM
Anybody remember that nun singing the Lord's Prayer?
Others on my list:

MacArthur Park
Piano Man
Afternoon Delight
Beth
I write the Songs
Theme from Love Story
I'll never Fall in Love Again
Wildfire (What horse could possibly be killed by a frost?)
Billy, Don't be a Hero
While I'm on Billies...Billie Jack.
Everything by Bread

Wow. That really is a rogue's gallery of tunes there. Ouch. My ears are bleeding just thinking about them.

Chip R
07-15-2005, 11:11 AM
I know most Zoners, maybe none care for country music, I did back then but in the 70"s the worst country song was by the Blanchards, call "The Tennessee Bird Walk" Anyone remember it?
I vaguely remember that song.


FWIW, when I lived in Nashville in the early 80's I had a date with their daughter, one time only now mind you, found out the next day or so she was a hooker. Oh well, she didn't charge me. :beerme: Of course I am a salesman and a gentleman, I told her I loved the song. :devil:Your own Dixie Chicken, eh? ;)

SunDeck
07-15-2005, 11:28 AM
Wow. That really is a rogue's gallery of tunes there. Ouch. My ears are bleeding just thinking about them.

And on top of that was Jim Scott, a pioneer in annoying morning radio banter.

Oh, and I forgot to mention my brush with bad 70's music. My uncle was in the Haywoods. Luckily, he got out before they hit the charts.

M2
07-15-2005, 11:31 AM
tr, I'm with you on "Bridge Over Troubled Water". It's sappy, self-indulgent baby boomer nonsense. Art Garfunkel did put a great vocal on it though, which saved it from having to stand on the merits of its poor-afflicted-me contents.

RBA, I saw you listing "Whip It" at one point, Not only is it from the 1980s, but that's a fine tune. Though maybe you missed the "worst" qualifier on the thread. "My Sharona" should probably be on the short list of best songs of the 1970s. It simultaneously put a bullet into late-model disco and corporate rock. It's also got one of the best guitar hooks ever written.

pedro, I'm shocked to see you knocking David Essex, Gary Glitter and the Bay City Rollers. Though they never were much more than confections, I'd never stick them on a worst list.

muta, great call on Steve Cropper being a true original.

Worst song of the '70s? Though it's been mentioned already, I don't think anything worse than "Feelings" has ever been recorded. It's the archetype for what constitutes a bad song.

Though "The Pina Colada Song" probably best quantifies the sorry, sappy emptiness that ran wild in that decade.

pedro
07-15-2005, 11:39 AM
pedro, I'm shocked to see you knocking David Essex, Gary Glitter and the Bay City Rollers. Though they never were much more than confections, I'd never stick them on a worst list.



Perhaps, I just can't stand that crap. It makes me want to wretch. That's my litmus test, subjective as it may be. I know there is much worse out there, but much of it has faded into oblivion and I am not forced to confront it anymore, as such I can pretend it never existed, as horrifying as it might be that some of it really did.

Note: Although the question wasn't framed as such, I automatically discluded anything my parents would have listened to, such as Barbara Streisand, as the memories are just too painful. :laugh:

Chip R
07-15-2005, 11:42 AM
Whither "All Out of Love" by Air Supply?

pedro
07-15-2005, 11:43 AM
Whither "All Out of Love" by Air Supply?

1980.

Mutaman
07-15-2005, 11:43 AM
Convoy by C.W. McCall?

Uh, Breaker One-Nine, this here's the Rubber Duck
You got a copy on me Pig-Pen? C'mon

Chip R
07-15-2005, 11:43 AM
1980.They probably recorded it in 1979. ;)

pedro
07-15-2005, 11:46 AM
Convoy by C.W. McCall?

Uh, Breaker One-Nine, this here's the Rubber Duck
You got a copy on me Pig-Pen? C'mon

Hey now. :laugh: :laugh:

Some of you may know (I know Red Leader does) that my 3rd grade class got to choose what song we wanted as the "theme" to our Christmas Pageant. We chose Convoy and got up and sang it with our 3rd grade chorus.

oneupper
07-15-2005, 11:51 AM
As for weird stuff...anyone remember "Timothy" about the guys trapped in a mine who ate "Timothy" to survive...

(yuck...)

(1970 or 71, I believe)

pedro
07-15-2005, 11:55 AM
You Take My Breath Away
Rex Smith


You
I don't know what to say
You take my breath away
You're every song I sing
You're the music that I play
And you take my breath away

You
You smile and it's okay
You take my breath away
Like water from a stream
On a sizzling summer day
Oh, you take my breath away
There are words
For the magic of a sunrise
Only none of them will due
For You
You take my breath away
And I don't know what to say
'Cause you take my breath away

---- Instrumental Interlude ----

You
You take my breath away
And I don't know what to say
'Cause you take my breath away
You take my breath away
You take my breath away

You take my breath away
Oh, you take my breath away...

M2
07-15-2005, 12:01 PM
Good choice there pedro.

Though the opening "Hey ..." should be part of the official lyrics. Whenever I feel like cracking my wife up and not working that hard at it, I just rattle off a quick, overwrought "Hey ..."

IowaRed
07-15-2005, 12:03 PM
As for weird stuff...anyone remember "Timothy" about the guys trapped in a mine who ate "Timothy" to survive...

(yuck...)

(1970 or 71, I believe)

That was by "The Buoys". The song was written by Rupert Holmes (Pina Colada Song)

pedro
07-15-2005, 12:10 PM
Good choice there pedro.

Though the opening "Hey ..." should be part of the official lyrics. Whenever I feel like cracking my wife up and not working that hard at it, I just toss that little chestnut onto the fire.

That's funny. Your poor wife. :)

and what a fine TV movie it was too.

http://feelgroovy.idv8.com/pinups/l70s/l70s-rexsooner.jpg

oneupper
07-15-2005, 12:10 PM
I know most Zoners, maybe none care for country music, :

I don't, but the 100+ page long song thread in the "Peanut Gallery" would beg to differ.






I did back then but in the 70"s the worst country song was by the Blanchards, call "The Tennessee Bird Walk" Anyone remember it?

I remember it.. And darn you for putting it back in my head. My sister bought that 45 and played it too often...

Make it STOP!.....Arghhhh..

traderumor
07-15-2005, 12:11 PM
Convoy by C.W. McCall?

Uh, Breaker One-Nine, this here's the Rubber Duck
You got a copy on me Pig-Pen? C'monAlready called that one out http://www.redszone.com/forums/showpost.php?p=777732&postcount=11

Must have been a blind squirrel grab ;)

Mutaman
07-15-2005, 12:27 PM
muta, great call on Steve Cropper being a true original.

.

I've been lucky enough to see a lot of great guitarists live, including Jimi in a small club in 1968. Cropper's the best I've ever seen.

SunDeck
07-15-2005, 01:16 PM
As for weird stuff...


Four Words: Land of the Lost.

IowaRed
07-15-2005, 01:29 PM
Four Words: Land of the Lost.

I'm still haunted by the occasional Sleestak.

I've mentioned this before but former Piston Bill Laimbeer played a Sleestak on that show.

IowaRed
07-15-2005, 01:34 PM
Walter Koeing, also known as Chekov from Star Trek, was also a writer for Land of the Lost.

Johnny Footstool
07-15-2005, 03:00 PM
Walter Koeing, also known as Chekov from Star Trek, was also a writer for Land of the Lost.

Yes, and the episode he wrote was actually pretty good.

traderumor
07-15-2005, 03:38 PM
Four Words: Land of the Lost.Great show!
Marshall, Will and Holly
On a routine expedition
Met the greatest earthquake ever known
High on the rapids It struck their tiny raft (insert screams here)
And plunged them down a thousand feet below
To the Land of the Lost
To the Land of the Lost
To the Land of the Lost

http://www.landofthelost.com/lotlintro.htm

Mutaman
07-15-2005, 05:03 PM
TEDDY BEAR
Red Sovine
Words and music by Dale Roy, Billy Joe Burnette, Red Sovine and Tommy Hill


I was on the outskirts of a little southern town
Tryin' to reach my destination before the sun went down
The old CB was blarin' away on channel 1-9!
When there came a little boy's voice on the radio line

And he said: "Breaker 1-9! Is anyone there?
Come on back, truckers and talk to Teddy Bear!"
Well, I keyed the mike and said: "You got it, Teddy Bear!"
And a little boy's voice came back on the air

"'Preciate the break, Who we got on that end?"
I told him my handle, and, then he began:
"Now, I'm not supposed to bother you fellows out there
Mom says you're busy and for me to stay off the air

But you see, I get lonely and it helps to talk
'Cause that's about all I can do, I'm crippled, and, I can't walk!"
I came back and told him to fire up that mike
And I'd talk to 'im, as long as he liked

"This was my dad's radio", the little boy said
"But I guess it's mine and mom's now, 'cause my daddy's dead!"
"Dad had a wreck about a month ago
He was trying to get home in a blindin' snow

Mom has to work now, to make ends meet
And I'm not much help, with my two crippled feet!"
"She says not to worry that we'll make it alright
But, I hear her crying, sometimes late at night

You know there's just one thing I want more than anything else to see
Aw, I know you guys are too busy to bother with me!"
"But, you see, my dad used to take me for rides when he was home
But, I guess that's all over now, since my daddy's gone

Not one breaker came on the old CB
As that little crippled boy talked with me
I tried hard to swallow a lump that just wouldn't stay down
As I thought about my boy back in Greenville Town

"Dad was going to take mom and me with him later on this year, Why,
l remember 'im saying: 'Someday this old truck will be yours, Teddy Bear!'
But, I know I'll never get to ride an 18-wheeler again
But, this old base will keep me in touch with all my trucker friends!"

"Teddy Bear's gonna back on out now and leave you alone
'Cause it's about time for mom to come home
But, you give me a shout when you're passin' through
And I'll sure be happy to come back to you!"

Well, I came back and I said: uh! "Before you go 10-10
What's your home 20, little CB friend?"
Well, he gave me his address and I didn't once hesitate
'Cause this hot load of freight was just gonna have to wait

I turned that truck around on a dime
And headed straight for Jackson Street, 229
And as I rounded the corner, oh, I got one heck of a shock
l8 wheelers were lined up for three city blocks!

Why, I guess every driver for miles around had caught Teddy Bear's call
And that little crippled boy was having a ball
For as fast as one driver would carry him in
Another would carry him to his truck and take off again

Well, you better believe I took my turn at riding Teddy Bear
And then I carried him back in and put him down in his chair
And buddy if I never live to see happiness again
I want you to know I saw it that day, in the face of that little man

We took up a collection for him before his mama got home
And each driver said goodbye and then they all were gone
He shook my hand with a mile-long grin
And said: "So long, trucker I'll catch ya again!"

Well, I hit the Interstate with tears in my eyes
I turned on the radio and I got another surprise
"Breaker 1-9!" Came a voice on the air
"Just one word of thanks from Mama Teddy Bear!"

"We wish each and every one, a special prayer for you
'Cause, You just made my little boy's dream come true
I'll sign off now, before, I start to cry
May God ride with you, 10-4, and goodbye."

redsfanmia
07-15-2005, 05:30 PM
Oh come on now Teddy bear is a great song, brings tears to my eyes everytime i hear it.

Johnny Footstool
07-15-2005, 05:34 PM
Great show!
Marshall, Will and Holly
On a routine expedition
Met the greatest earthquake ever known
High on the rapids It struck their tiny raft (insert screams here)
And plunged them down a thousand feet below
To the Land of the Lost
To the Land of the Lost
To the Land of the Lost

I love the fact that the father's name was Rick Marshall, but the theme song implies that Marshall was his first name.

RedsBaron
07-15-2005, 07:32 PM
I know most Zoners, maybe none care for country music, I did back then but in the 70"s the worst country song was by the Blanchards, call "The Tennessee Bird Walk" Anyone remember it? FWIW, when I lived in Nashville in the early 80's I had a date with their daughter, one time only now mind you, found out the next day or so she was a hooker. Oh well, she didn't charge me. :beerme: Of course I am a salesman and a gentleman, I told her I loved the song. :devil:
I am a country music fan, as my song thread posts will evident.
I do want to mention one song by Bread, since a poster or two commented on how they hated that group. I once heard an sermon preached by our former youth minister that featured someone singing the Bread song "Everything I Own" accompanied by a guitar. I had always thought the tune was a simple love song to a girl, but according to the minister, the song was actually written about the composer's late father. The composer was regretting all of his lost opportunities to be with his dad. That put a new twist for me on the lyrics about giving up everything I own "just to see you once again, just to touch you once again." I sometimes think about that song when I think of my late father.

SandyD
07-15-2005, 11:57 PM
I think "Sylvia's Mother" ranks up there in my mind.

Also "I've Got a Brand New Pair of Roller Skates ..."

And maybe "Mama's got a squeeze-box ... Daddy never sleeps at night"

"Patches, I'm depending on ya son ..."

Just a few.

pedro
07-16-2005, 03:30 AM
I think "Sylvia's Mother" ranks up there in my mind.

Also "I've Got a Brand New Pair of Roller Skates ..."

And maybe "Mama's got a squeeze-box ... Daddy never sleeps at night"

"Patches, I'm depending on ya son ..."

Just a few.

oh sandy, I love squeezebox. it's stupid, but I love it.

Raisor
07-16-2005, 06:52 AM
oh sandy, I love squeezebox. it's stupid, but I love it.

It's THE WHO for goodness sakes! Of course it's awesome!

SandyD
07-16-2005, 11:16 AM
Oh, sure, pedro and Raisor. I'll give you that one. It just popped in my head at that particular moment.

Thing is, I've had a lot of fun over the years with these songs. Probably all of them. Alfred and I will sometimes taunt each other with a series of lines/choruses from songs like this on an odd evening.

MartyFan
07-16-2005, 12:43 PM
I vote that "The Pina Coloda Song" is the worst songs of the 70's....


Chorus:
If you like Pina Colada, and its little Champaign
If you like juice in your kina, me myself here to say
If you like makin love at midnight, rollin out the avenue
If you like frien' up a fat one, one day your down with my crew
Verse:
Havin' problems with my lady, she gettin' on my nerves
Talkin' bout she need her nails done, I take that out on the perm
Ain't wanna make love last night, she thought everything was cool
But she was messin' wit Da Real One, If I got my damn rules
Chorus
Verse:
Now I met another lady, She got what she had to say
I asked her where her man at, she said baby I'm gay
I said that don't really matter, long as you ain't gotta sex change
Because I'm down with a three some, but need to know some things
Chorus
All right lets break this thing down
Bridge:
Come on, Come on, Come on
Come on, Come on, Come on
Come on , come on, come on
Come on, come on, come on
Rap, Rap, Rap
Rap, Rap, Rap
Rap, Rap, Rap
Rap, Rap, Rap
(Repeat once)
Chorus
Come on, shake it for the break down
Bridge

redsfanmia
07-16-2005, 01:54 PM
oh sandy, I love squeezebox. it's stupid, but I love it.
Supposedly right after they recorded this song Pete Townsed said something like that song is terrible its going to be a big hit in America.

GAC
07-16-2005, 03:50 PM
Songs I hated and wanted to put a gun to my head....

Brand New Key - Melanie

"Well, I got a brand new pair of roller skates
You got a brand new key
I think that we should get together and try them out to see
La la la la la la la la, la la la la la la
Oh! I got a brand new pair of roller skates
You got a brand new key"

You're Having My Baby - Paul Anka

"Having my baby
What a lovely way of saying how much you love me
Having my baby
What a lovely way of saying what you're thinkin' of me"

Waterloo - ABBA

My, my, at Waterloo Napoleon did surrender
Oh yeah, and I have met my destiny in quite a similar way
The history book on the shelf
Is always repeating itself

"Waterloo, I was defeated, you won the war
Waterloo, promise to love you for ever more
Waterloo, couldn't escape if I wanted to
Waterloo, knowing my fate is to be with you
Waterloo, finally facing my Waterloo"

Sugar, Sugar - The Archies (came out in '69 - but I still hate it)

"Sugar, ah honey honey
You are my candy girl
And you've got me wanting you.
Honey, ah sugar sugar
You are my candy girl
And you've got me wanting you."

Indian Lake - Cowsills (there is actually a petition to get them on the Rock HOF!)

"Indian Lake is a scene you should make with your little one
Keep it in mind if you're lookin' to find
A place in the summer sun
You can swim in the cove, have a snack in the grove or you can rent a canoe
At Indian Lake you'll be able to make the way the indians do

Daoop bop bop daoop bop bop daoop bop bop daoop bop bop daoop bop bop daoop bop bop daoop
bop bop daoop bop bop

Da din din di di di da din din di di di da din din di di di da din din di di di"

Baby Don't Get Hooked On Me - Mac Davis

"Baby, baby don't get hooked on me
Baby, baby don't get hooked on me
'Cause I'll just use you then I'll set you free
Baby, baby don't get hooked on me"

And two of my all-time favorites...

My Love - Wings

"And when I go away
I know my heart can stay with my love
It's understood
It's in the hands of my love
And my love does it good
Wo-wo-wo-wo, wo-wo-wo-wo
My love does it good

And when the cupboard's bare
I'll still find something there with my love
It's understood
Everywhere with my love
My love does it good
Wo-wo-wo-wo, wo-wo-wo-wo
My love does it good"

Silly Love Songs -Wings

"You'd think that people
Would have had enough
Of silly love songs
I look around me and I see it isn't so
Some people wanna fill the world
With silly love songs
And what's wrong with that?
I'd like to know
'cause here I go again
I love you, I love you"

alex trevino
07-16-2005, 06:31 PM
Didn't Sally Struther also do a version of "Brand new Roller Skates"?

Am I mistaken or is that song full of sexual innduendos :)

alex trevino
07-16-2005, 06:37 PM
Oh yes Having my Baby was pretty bad... Wonder how many women actually wanted to have Paul Anka's baby? :)

Forget the artist(use that word loosely) but anyone remember "Bluer then Blue"?

"I am Bluer than Blue
Sadder then Sad
You're the only Light
this empty room has ever had
Life without you is gonna be Bluer then Blue"

"I don't have to miss no TV shows, (big sacrfice there)
I can start my whole life over,
Change the numbers on my telephone (dude she is dumping you you don't need to worry she isn't going to be calling)
But the night will sure be colder"


Also "Save all your Kisses for me' could induce vomiting

marcshoe
07-16-2005, 06:59 PM
Can't remember the artist (Michael Johnson? I'll have to look it up) but I do remember that the song begins with words something like "After you go, I can catch up on my reading".

But my vote still goes to Kung Fu Fighting.

edit: it is Michael Johnson, but the first two results on google credited it to Barry Manilow and Michael Jackson. :eek: It was written by Randy Goodrum, btw, quite a prolific songwriter iirc.

RFS62
07-16-2005, 07:41 PM
I can't vote for "Billy, don't be a hero" since Chris Elliot said it was his favorite song on his old show.

I loved that show.

alex trevino
07-16-2005, 08:04 PM
ok who sang that song "Key Largo"?

"We had it all
Just like Bogey and Bacall"

Also "Convoy" has been mentioned I hated the song but did love the line

"An’ eleven long-haired friends a’ jesus In a chartreuse micra-bus." :evil:

marcshoe
07-16-2005, 08:52 PM
Key Largo was by Bertie Higgins.

But it was released in 81 or 82.

btw, Convoy was by CW McCall, who wasn't a real person, but more of a songwriter/producer-singer team. The songwriter is one of the people behind Manheim Steamroller, I believe.

And I liked CW McCall's "Wolf Creek Pass" (but then I spent a week in Pagosa Springs once). :)

GAC
07-17-2005, 09:29 AM
How about "Alone Again (Naturally) - Gilbert O'Sullivan

"In a little while from now
If I'm not feeling any less sour
I promise myself to treat myself
And visit a nearby tower
And climbing to the top will throw myself off
In an effort to make it clear to whoever
What it's like when you're shattered
Left standing in the lurch at a church
Where people saying: "My God, that's tough"
"She stood him up"
"No point in us remaining"
"We may as well go home"
As I did on my own
Alone again, naturally"

Ricki Don't Lose That Number - Steely Dan

"Rikki don't lose that number
You don't wanna call nobody else
Send it off in a letter to yourself
Rikki don't lose that number
It's the only one you own
You might use it if you feel better
When you get home"

And lets not forget the Osmonds, who gave us such classics as Puppy Love and One Bad Apple....

One bad apple don't spoil the whole bunch, girl.
Oh, give it one more try before you give up on love.
One bad apple don't spoil the whole bunch girl.
Oh, I don't care what they say,
I don't care what you heard.

alex trevino
07-17-2005, 09:54 AM
"And they call it puppy love..just because we're in our teens"

cumberlandreds
07-18-2005, 10:16 AM
A song called "Loving You". I don't remember who did it,a woman is all I remember. But there was birds chirping in the background and all. It was as drippy as drippy can get. Just horrible!

gonelong
07-18-2005, 10:35 AM
A song called "Loving You". I don't remember who did it,a woman is all I remember. But there was birds chirping in the background and all. It was as drippy as drippy can get. Just horrible!


Loooooooving Youuuuu is easy 'cause your beautiful ...
La La La La La, La La La La La
(gunshot)

/silence

IowaRed
07-18-2005, 10:37 AM
A song called "Loving You". I don't remember who did it,a woman is all I remember. But there was birds chirping in the background and all. It was as drippy as drippy can get. Just horrible!

That would be Minnie Ripperton, oddly enough she once played a Sleestak on Land of the Lost :)

cumberlandreds
07-18-2005, 10:54 AM
Loooooooving Youuuuu is easy 'cause your beautiful ...
La La La La La, La La La La La
(gunshot)

/silence

:laugh: That's exactly how I felt when they would play that song. I can remember WLW dedicating that song to Johnny Bench and his first wife. That may be the reason that marriage didn't last. :p:

cumberlandreds
07-18-2005, 10:55 AM
That would be Minnie Ripperton, oddly enough she once played a Sleestak on Land of the Lost :)

That name doesn't ring a bell at all. For good reason I suppose.