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View Full Version : If a cow were stoned ..... how would you know?



TeamCasey
08-16-2005, 07:45 AM
Russian cows get new feed: marijuana
'I don’t know what the milk will be like after this,' drug agency officer says

Reuters
Updated: 5:03 a.m. ET Aug. 16, 2005


MOSCOW - Russia’s long winter will just fly by for a herd of Russian cows which, a newspaper reported on Tuesday, will be fed confiscated marijuana over the cold months.

Drug workers said they adopted the unusual form of animal husbandry after they were forced to destroy the sunflowers and maize crops that the 40 ton of marijuana had been planted among, Novye Izvestia daily reported.

“There is simply no other way out. You see, the fields are planted with feed crops and if we remove it all the cows will have nothing to eat,” a Federal Drugs Control Service spokeswoman for the Urals region of Sverdlovsk told the paper. “I don’t know what the milk will be like after this.”

Drug use in Russia took off with the decline of the Soviet Union and police have been fighting drug smugglers — often shipping heroin from Afghanistan — for years.

Such large hauls are relatively common, although they are normally burned.

MrCinatit
08-16-2005, 08:30 AM
Those crazy Russians - what will they think of next.

GAC
08-16-2005, 08:54 AM
http://www.mosnews.com/files/1114/picture.jpg

TeamCasey
08-16-2005, 09:12 AM
If a cow were really stoned, she'd probably get a craving for a Whopper with cheese and a chocolate shake.

Chip R
08-16-2005, 09:55 AM
“There is simply no other way out. You see, the fields are planted with feed crops and if we remove it all the cows will have nothing to eat,” a Federal Drugs Control Service spokeswoman for the Urals region of Sverdlovsk told the paper. But if you feed them marijuana aren't they going to get the munchies? Then they'll want to eat more and pretty soon they won't have anything to eat. It's a vicious cycle. ;)

RFS62
08-16-2005, 10:01 AM
.

REDREAD
08-16-2005, 10:57 AM
It would be interesting if they observed the effect on the cows, but somehow I doubt they'll follow up on this.

GAC
08-16-2005, 11:01 AM
And farmer Jones kept blaming his wife for stealin' his stash and wondered why the cows produced more whenever they heard Iron Butterfly! :lol:

Unassisted
08-16-2005, 12:07 PM
There's no way that the USDA would let that milk go into the marketplace if that happened in this country.

westofyou
08-16-2005, 12:41 PM
If a cow were stoned ..... how would you know?

1. All the paper clips in the barn are gone

2. Lingering around the water trough due to cotton mouth

3. Looks like this guy

http://caracaschronicles.blogspot.com/fer.jpg

SunDeck
08-16-2005, 02:33 PM
1. All the paper clips in the barn are gone

2. Lingering around the water trough due to cotton mouth

3. Looks like this guy


4. Hangs out for hours in the farmer's basement with her "friend", the donkey.

5. Has an insatiable appetite for gummi bears.

6. Can't hold her job at the Jiffy Lube.

7. Can recite entire episodes of South Park from memory.

8. Keeps yelling...."More COW BELL, Maaaan!"

9. Breathless laughter coming from her stall.

10. The obvious sign....bong ring around her snout.

KronoRed
08-16-2005, 03:11 PM
Keeps a can if air freshener near by to hide the pot smell ;)

OnBaseMachine
08-16-2005, 03:19 PM
http://www.cultofbob.co.uk/cow/cowfly1.gif

REDREAD
08-16-2005, 03:23 PM
There's no way that the USDA would let that milk go into the marketplace if that happened in this country.

that's interesting. I just assumed they were beef cows. I would think that it would eventually work it's way out of beef cows (not that I'd want my kids eating it).. Never thought about the possiblity of "herb milk" going to market.

SunDeck
08-16-2005, 03:30 PM
that's interesting. I just assumed they were beef cows. I would think that it would eventually work it's way out of beef cows (not that I'd want my kids eating it).. Never thought about the possiblity of "herb milk" going to market.

What flavor would Ben and Jerry call ice cream made with that stuff?

KronoRed
08-16-2005, 03:35 PM
Glazed eyes brand ;)

westofyou
08-16-2005, 03:39 PM
What flavor would Ben and Jerry call ice cream made with that stuff?

Bovine Botany Blend

Roy Tucker
08-16-2005, 07:23 PM
Why am I still hungry after eating this hambuger?

TeamCasey
08-16-2005, 08:47 PM
Moo (http://pictures.funnyjunk.com/pages/madmoo.wav)

Reds Nd2
08-16-2005, 09:12 PM
http://www.indian.cl/images/cowtoon121.jpg

TeamCasey
08-16-2005, 09:20 PM
What kind of milk comes from a stoned cow?














Milk of Amnesia

TeamCasey
08-16-2005, 09:21 PM
Where do Russians get their milk?
From Mos-cows

UKFlounder
08-16-2005, 09:31 PM
Sow do Canadiens get theirs from Cow-gary?

KronoRed
08-16-2005, 09:43 PM
TC

:clap:

GAC
08-17-2005, 09:34 AM
What kind of milk comes from a stoned cow?

Why would anyone stone a poor and defenseless cow? You wouldn't get any milk then? :p: