View Full Version : The Reds Report

02-06-2006, 10:47 AM
The Reds Report
By Redsland, for Redsland

GM Search Concluding
“At least nine” interviewees face Castellini and advisors Gene Bennett, Larry Barton Jr., Nancy Zimpher.
After reviewing list of qualified candidates, minority partner Carl Lindner pulling for Cam Bonifay.
Told he was a candidate for promotion, Leland Maddox refuses to interview, is pressured to agree, then postpones by “catching flu”; obvious next moves include mid-interview “got your nose” trick and “Have any naked pictures of your wife?” query.

Latest Signings
Felipe Lopez inks $2.7 million deal, other side of neck.
Veteran Rick White joins Hammond, Weathers, Aurilia, Mercker, Womack in discussions about clubhouse temperature, music volume, excessive dugout stairs.
Kullman continues Dunn negotiations; delegates arbitration presentation against 6’6” Texan to staffers Beattie, Maddox, Almaraz.

Reds Notes
Bubba Nelson proves passing through waivers easier than passing field sobriety test.
Milton, Claussen, Freel, Weathers report early; using ghost runners, pitcher’s poison until five more show up.
Paul Wilson: I should have admitted sooner how badly I was hurt last year by cancellation of “Joan of Arcadia.”
Reds riot, Midwest violence escalates in wake of “insensitive” Borgman caricatures.

World Baseball Classic
ESPN announces plans to broadcast international competition; Berman nickname writers rush to bunker, go to DEFCON 5.
Bojorquez, Chiaravalloti expected to present greater challenge than Bermudez, Fukuura.
Nomar Garciaparra bails, cites desire to concentrate on learning new L.A. position, lifeguard.

Around the League
SBC Park, nee Pac Bell Park, to be renamed AT&T Park; McCovey Cove briefly becomes Willie Montanez Cove, then Will Clark Cove.
As rumors swirl, Mike Piazza calls press conference to confirm he’s a Padre, heterosexual.
Hall of Fame to honor Latinos with traveling exhibit it will smuggle across border, rename, fill with older-than-expected artifacts.


02-06-2006, 10:49 AM

02-06-2006, 12:22 PM
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: