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View Full Version : the cheesiest pickup lines you've ever heard



max venable
03-27-2006, 06:27 PM
Let's start the list...

Here are a few to get you going:

"I'm new in town and can't find my way around; could I have directions to your place?"

"See my friend over there? He wants to know if you think I'm cute."

"Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package."

guttle11
03-27-2006, 06:37 PM
"Nice shoes, wanna (you know what)?

OnBaseMachine
03-27-2006, 06:40 PM
I lost my virginity, can I have yours?

OnBaseMachine
03-27-2006, 06:42 PM
Did you know that there are 265 bones inside of your body? {Wait for answer} "Yeah, and I could show you how to get one more?"

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

Do you have a mirror in your pocket? (Why?) 'Cause I could see myself in your pants

Gee, for a fat girl you sure don’t sweat much.

max venable
03-27-2006, 06:45 PM
Did you know that there are 265 bones inside of your body? {Wait for answer} "Yeah, and I could show you how to get one more?"

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

Do you have a mirror in your pocket? (Why?) 'Cause I could see myself in your pants

Gee, for a fat girl you sure donít sweat much.
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

pedro
03-27-2006, 07:08 PM
"I like Steely Dan"

Blimpie
03-27-2006, 07:22 PM
From the recently airing Las Vegas commercials:

Dude: "I am an author....mostly books"
Girl: "You told my friend that you were a lawyer.."
Dude: "Yeah, in the off-season."

Izzardius
03-27-2006, 08:07 PM
Math pickups are the worst:
"I'd love to be your derivative, so I could be tangent to your curves."

paintmered
03-27-2006, 08:11 PM
From "How I met your mother"

"Daddy's home."

Puffy
03-27-2006, 08:33 PM
"Hi, my name is Chip"

letsgojunior
03-27-2006, 08:39 PM
"Hi, my name is Chip"

:lol:

paintmered
03-27-2006, 08:39 PM
"Hi, my name is Chip"


:laugh: :laugh:

RedsBaron
03-27-2006, 08:52 PM
"Hi, my name is Chip"
Does that line EVER work?

Caveat Emperor
03-27-2006, 08:53 PM
Damn, I was going to go with "Hi, my name is Matt..." but Puff totally blew up my spot. Well played. :clap:

I'll go with some old stand-bys:

"I may not be the most attractive guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you..."

(Lick your finger and lightly touch the person's sleeve) "Hey, let's get you out of those wet clothes."

Puffy
03-27-2006, 08:59 PM
Excuse me, did you just undress me with your eyes cause I just felt a chill.

Puffy
03-27-2006, 09:00 PM
Hi, my name is George. I'm unemployed and live with my parents

Puffy
03-27-2006, 09:01 PM
Excuse me, but do you have a little Italian in you? No? Well, would you like a little Italian in you?

WVRed
03-27-2006, 09:01 PM
Hi, my name is Chance, do I have one?

If you were a booger, i'd pick you first.

jmcclain19
03-27-2006, 09:07 PM
Am I cute, or do you need another drink?

You know what would look really good on you? Me.

Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway.

I lost my teddy bear, will you sleep whith me?

Caseyfan21
03-27-2006, 09:15 PM
"I see you're drinking 1%. Is that 'cause you think you're fat? 'Cause you're not. You could be drinking whole if you wanted to."

Good ol' Napoleon...


A ton of these are great...:laugh:

jmcclain19
03-27-2006, 09:19 PM
If I told you that you had a good body, would you hold it against me?

Matt700wlw
03-27-2006, 09:36 PM
Friend tried this at the mall in High School after seeing it in pickup line book...

Cute girl walks by...

friend: "Excuse me, do you know the time?"

cute girl continues walking without a response.

Friends looks at me: "that book lies!"

alex trevino
03-27-2006, 09:37 PM
One I have used my last trip to the Philippines
"Can I interest you in a Green card?"

Matt700wlw
03-27-2006, 09:39 PM
My roommate and I had an organ in our dorm room (for a semester)...a real organ, with a lesley motor and lots of different buttons and knobs with different sounds (real old style thing....it was sweet).

I always wanted to use it, but never had the chance:

"Excuse me, would like to come to my room and play my organ?"

max venable
03-27-2006, 09:45 PM
How would you like your eggs for breakfast: scrambled, boiled or fertilized?

OnBaseMachine
03-27-2006, 10:10 PM
Hi there! Do you want to see something really swell?

For a fat chick, you sure have small boobs.

I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away!

I like every muscle in your body, especially mine.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together

Dom Heffner
03-27-2006, 10:38 PM
"Wanna see where I live?"

This was uttered on September 15, 1995 and worked.

Chick was hot.

BoydsOfSummer
03-27-2006, 11:02 PM
Nice dress. It would look much better lying on the floor beside my bed.

cincinnati chili
03-27-2006, 11:14 PM
I'd swim a mile in your poo to see where it came from.

harangatang
03-27-2006, 11:18 PM
Math pickups are the worst:
"I'd love to be your derivative, so I could be tangent to your curves."

I'll have to tell that one to my calculus teacher.:laugh:

gonelong
03-28-2006, 12:32 AM
We spent about 6 months in college where we'd think up a line on Wednesday and you had to use it on any girl you hit on.

My own personal line was ... "Pardon me, I don't think you've met me yet." ;)

GL

919191
03-28-2006, 01:55 AM
Hey darliní...can I buy ya a drink?
Lookiní for mister goodbar? here he is...
Wait a minute...Iíve got it...youíre an italian!
Hah?
Yer jewish?
Love your nails...you must be a libra...
Your place or mine?



From a couple of Zappa songs.

RFS62
03-28-2006, 08:04 AM
Go to a supermarket, where many babes can be found. Swerve your cart into the cart said babe, and apologize "Sorry, I just got off my yacht and haven't got my land legs back yet"

Or, in a bar, get down on your knees and search the floor around her chair, and say "Damn, I dropped my Congressional Medal of Honor and can't find it. Oh well, that's OK, I've got another one"

alex trevino
03-28-2006, 08:08 AM
Haven't I seen you at the Herpes Support Group before?

Raisor
03-28-2006, 09:31 AM
"I like Steely Dan"


Pedro, if you'd said "Marshall Tucker Band", I'd be all your's.

WVRed
03-28-2006, 09:41 AM
I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I can sure make your bed rock.

You can sit on my lap, and we can talk about the first thing that "pops" up.;)

gitrdunn44
03-28-2006, 09:51 AM
I'm rich and thats not my name.

Puffy
03-28-2006, 11:46 AM
I'd really like the opportunity to disappoint you sexually tonight.

Chip R
03-28-2006, 11:58 AM
Does that line EVER work?

60% of the time, it works every time. ;)

Had a friend in college who would tell girls, "Didn't we go to different high schools together?"

Danny Serafini
03-28-2006, 12:39 PM
"I lost my virginity, but you can have the box that it came in."

No, sadly, she didn't use that line on me.

Hap
03-28-2006, 04:52 PM
Can we get something straight between us?

BoydsOfSummer
03-28-2006, 06:13 PM
"You sure do stink purty...

Actually heard that one from a thoroughly drunken redneck whilst hitting on the bartendress.

Tommyjohn25
03-28-2006, 06:26 PM
Walk up to 2 girls who are having a conversation. "Hey! I don't mean to come between you! Or do I?

Gotta credit good ol' Quagmire for that one.

KittyDuran
03-28-2006, 08:50 PM
Does that line EVER work?Didn't work with me - but I play hard to get...;)

Red in Chicago
03-28-2006, 10:26 PM
from the naked gun...

nice beaver:p:

the chicks really love that one:mooner:

Larkin411
03-29-2006, 09:58 AM
"Do you work in geography?"

I'm not sure what that means but some dude asked me that at a bar recently. I gotta say that as a girl, I hate it when a guy has any sort of schtick or pick-up line.

max venable
03-29-2006, 10:01 AM
"Do you work in geography?"

...'cause you rock my world?

Just a guess. :)

gonelong
03-29-2006, 03:24 PM
"Do you work in geography?"

I'm not sure what that means but some dude asked me that at a bar recently. I gotta say that as a girl, I hate it when a guy has any sort of schtick or pick-up line.

What does it mean?

3 words

Human ... relief ... map.

:evil:

GL

Raisor
03-29-2006, 05:13 PM
from the naked gun...

nice beaver:p:




You forgot the best part of that line, Prisilla Prestley's comeback.

"Thanks, I just got it stuffed".

max venable
03-29-2006, 09:17 PM
http://images.cafepress.com/product/28407698_240x240_F.jpg