View Full Version : Insert your Chris Denorfia jokes here

05-23-2006, 09:49 PM
Chris Denorfia doesn't sleep, he waits.

When Saddam Huissen claimed to have weapons of mass distruction, he merely kidnapped Chris Denorfia and trained his soldiers on the Total Gym.

Chris Denorfia tears are the cure to cancer for a known fact.
Too bad Chris Denorfia has never cried!

Chris Denorfia touched M.C. Hammer.

Chris Denorfia built the house he was born in.

Chris Denorfia has sued NBC for the name of the show "Law & Order", stating that those are the names of his left and right legs.

05-23-2006, 10:10 PM
Recycling Chuck Norris jokes FTL

05-23-2006, 10:11 PM
Yeah the total gym one gives it away ;)

05-24-2006, 06:22 AM
Chris Denorfia once had a street named after him in Cincinnati, but once everybody who crossed the street died, they changed the name.

No one crosses Chris Denorfia and lives.

Caveat Emperor
05-24-2006, 08:27 AM
When Chris Denorfia comes up, the scoreboard lists his HRs, RBIs, and "Batting Outstanding" for his stats -- because nothing about Chris Denorfia is average.

05-24-2006, 10:06 AM
Wait, are we talking about Denorfia or Denofria here?

05-24-2006, 03:34 PM
Wait, are we talking about Denorfia or Denofria here?
Deno is both.

05-24-2006, 03:45 PM
Chris Denorfia gave birth to Jim Coombs

05-24-2006, 04:21 PM
The Phillies board had a funny, quite long list going for Cole Hamels


Some of my favorites

-When he was born, Cole Hamels was given a rattle and a radar gun.
-Cole once pitched both ends of a double-header. He pitched the first game lefty, and then pitched the second game righthanded. Both were complete game shutouts.
-Cole Hamels will carry Pennsylvania, New Jersey and Delaware's 39 electoral votes in 2008 as a write-in candidate, making them red-pinstriped states.
-Cole Hamels is so good, Nolan Ryan addresses him as"Sir".
-Cole Hamels curveball is so good, it broke 12 to negative 6.

Caveat Emperor
05-24-2006, 05:40 PM
- Chris Denorfia doesn't take batting practice, Chris Denorfia takes home run practice.

- Chris Denorfia moonlights as a crime fighter on off days and has never missed making a bust. Crime in Louisville has dropped to 0 because Chris Denorfia always makes his catch.

- In Wiffleball, naming your ghost runner "Chris Denorfia" ensures he'll score from first base every time.

- Chris Denorfia never took quarters to the batting cage as a kid -- he simply walked into the box and stared down the pitching machine until it started throwing.

- The only base Chris Denorfia has never stolen is Ft. Sill, and that's just because he owes Oklahoma a favor.

05-24-2006, 06:09 PM
- Chris Denorfia has never been caught stealing. "Stealing" implies he doesn't own the base already and, as you know, all your base are belong to Chris Denorfia.