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RBA
11-03-2006, 10:20 PM
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http://www.miami.com/images/common/spacer.gifPosted on Fri, Nov. 03, 2006http://www.miami.com/images/common/spacer.gifhttp://www.miami.com/images/common/spacer.gif

Police: Nude man hides awl in buttocks


Associated Press

EL CERRITO, Calif. - A naked man was arrested on suspicion of carrying a concealed weapon after telling police he had a screwdriver in his buttocks. The man was lying on a tree stump masturbating beside a nature path near the El Cerrito Bay Area Rapid Transit station Thursday, police said.
John Sheehan, 33, of Pittsburg was initially arrested on suspicion of indecent exposure. But when asked if he was carrying anything police should know about, Sheehan mentioned the tool, said El Cerrito Detective Cpl. Don Horgan.
"You can't get much more concealed than that," Horgan said.
Officers drew their weapons and firefighters were called to the scene, but Sheehan removed a 6-inch metal awl wrapped in black electrical tape without incident.
Sheehan, who was paroled from state prison last week, was then booked into the county jail in Martinez on suspicion of parole violations, indecent exposure and one felony count of possessing a concealed weapon.
"When you're talking about an awl or an ice pick and you're dealing with somebody who's fresh out of prison, it's a weapon. That's a stabbing instrument," Horgan said.
He noted that the rear end is a common hiding place for weapons being smuggled into prison.
It was not immediately clear what Sheehan was on parole for

Ltlabner
11-03-2006, 10:24 PM
Wow...just....wow.

guttle11
11-03-2006, 10:39 PM
I don't know whether to laugh, or just sit here with my jaw on the floor.

KWM
11-03-2006, 10:45 PM
If he would've sneezed.............I don't think I have to add anything beyond this.:eek:

BUTLER REDSFAN
11-03-2006, 10:58 PM
suspicion of indecent exposure?????????

BUTLER REDSFAN
11-03-2006, 11:01 PM
there's a great pun or punchline to this whole story...I just can't think of it yet:D

cincinnati chili
11-03-2006, 11:48 PM
How do you folks think I get my contraband food into the movie theaters?

GAC
11-04-2006, 05:07 AM
That what you call "giving it your awl" :lol:

GAC
11-04-2006, 05:08 AM
How do you folks think I get my contraband food into the movie theaters?

And all that time your friends thought that was butter on the popcorn. :eek:

MrCinatit
11-04-2006, 07:02 AM
He noted that the rear end is a common hiding place for weapons being smuggled into prison.

The rear is common for other things in prison, but I won't put my finger in it.
This is simply an awl-inspiring story.

MartyFan
11-04-2006, 09:59 AM
Awl in Awl, it makes me feel sick...

I love the quote from the officer...
"When you're talking about an awl or an ice pick and you're dealing with somebody who's fresh out of prison, it's a weapon. That's a stabbing instrument,"

Thank you Dick Tracey

Wonder what made them think he was doing anything wrong...all he was doing was whacking off on a tree stump completely nude on the trail of a nature park...wonder what gained their curiosity?

GAC
11-04-2006, 10:58 AM
It's obvious the gentlemen didn't see the posted sign that prohibits masturbating with a concealed weapon up your butt.

Yachtzee
11-04-2006, 09:08 PM
I just can't believe he could do that without really hurting himself.

max venable
11-04-2006, 09:12 PM
http://pweb.jps.net/~kmatsu/photos/toolslistphotos/awl.jpg

Everybody...all together...AWWWWWL....isn't that cute?

MartyFan
11-04-2006, 09:16 PM
http://pweb.jps.net/~kmatsu/photos/toolslistphotos/awl.jpg

Everybody...all together...AWWWWWL....isn't that cute?

I see your point :mooner:

RedsBaron
11-05-2006, 06:54 AM
Although it sounds as if everything came out okay in the end, I must admit that my first thought when I read this article was "I wonder whose Congressman this guy is"?

GAC
11-05-2006, 09:40 AM
Who, on the police force, decides who is gonna get the "privilege" of doing a cavity search? Do they draw straws? Flip a coin? Or look at the rookie?

Is there a class one must take in order to be certified? Are there text books that discuss such issues as anal flexibility or "How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop"? :lol:

Is there required class room participation, just like when they are learning how to give CPR, where they practice on each other?

Do you get a certificate after successfully completing the course.... and would you display it on your wall next to any other awards?

"Yes. We are really proud of our son John. He was 3rd in his class in crime scene investigation, cadavar chalk line drawing, and marksmanship, but 1st in anal cavity searches."

Where's CQ when we need him to answer such valid sociological questions? :lol:

And do the manfacturers of tools, such as Craftsman or MAC, now need to put warning labels on their packaging?... "Not Intended For Anal Insertion"

And maybe we need to start putting up these signs in our parks and along nature trails (other than "Do Not Feed The Bears")

RedsBaron
11-05-2006, 10:47 AM
And do the manfacturers of tools, such as Craftsman or MAC, now need to put warning labels on their packaging?... "Not Intended For Anal Insertion"



I know at least a couple of lawyers who might take such a "failure to warn" case.

BUTLER REDSFAN
11-05-2006, 09:20 PM
my brother works at a hospital and tells me they have at least 5 or 6 guys a year come in to the e.r. with various products stuck in their backsides if you know what i mean

Falls City Beer
11-05-2006, 09:26 PM
my brother works at a hospital and tells me they have at least 5 or 6 guys a year come in to the e.r. with various products stuck in their backsides if you know what i mean

A grill brush is not a sex toy. :mooner:

Ltlabner
11-06-2006, 07:27 AM
This case is definatley ripe for law suits. Some corporation should pay for being a pain in this man's butt.

MrCinatit
11-06-2006, 07:46 AM
...And for the ladies thinking of taking this winner out on a date: Beware of asking for the butterknife.

registerthis
11-06-2006, 08:29 AM
suspicion of indecent exposure?????????

Hey, he might have had a perfectly legitimate reason to be laying naked next to a public trans station, masturbating with an awl up his rear. You don't want to make assumptions or anything...

westofyou
11-06-2006, 10:29 AM
El Cerrito is a tough town, washed in fog and ugly housing.

I lived there briefly 20 years ago.

I kept my awl in my fanny pack though.

RFS62
11-06-2006, 11:27 AM
I kept my awl in my fanny pack though.



Yeah, in a way, so did he.

RichRed
11-06-2006, 01:14 PM
This guy doesn't do anything half-a$$ed. He gives it his awl.

Redsland
11-06-2006, 02:03 PM
Yeah, in a way, so did he.
:laugh:

paintmered
11-07-2006, 12:00 AM
Some of the puns in this thread are just awlful.