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Red in Chicago
11-25-2006, 01:41 AM
when will i ever learn??? earlier today i decided i was going to make some marinara sauce and have some pasta for supper...i even made a point of stopping at this new italian grocery store to get the fresh garlic the other day in preparation...i always make a great big pot so i can give my parents some and i can freeze the rest...

anyway, so i started by heating up the olive oil and got distracted by the dog while cutting my onion...after letting him outside to go run around, i got back to the counter, only to discover that my olive oil had burned up, as i had the heat on way to high...that should have been a sign to quit and just have a veggie burger...

but no, i carried on like the guido that i am...i got a new pot and started over...well, four hours later and after several adjustments to the sauce, i ended up throwing the entire pot down the disposal...something just wasn't right and i think it was actually the garlic that i had just bought...the tomatoes never took on the flavor of the herbs and spices...it was just blaw or even kind of bitter...i'm so aggrevated...

i ended up eating veggie nuggets for dinner...how delightful...:angry:
the sad part is that everytime something starts out bad when cooking, is that it really only gets worse if you keep going...why haven't i learned my lesson after all these years? this is the first time i've ever messed up marinara sauce...usually it's something that i'm not familiar with cooking that i screw up...

i realize this isn't a funny story, but i really just wanted to vent...anyone got any cooking / baking disasters they'd like to share?

Yachtzee
11-25-2006, 01:58 AM
When I was a teenager, my parents had this combination microwave/convection oven. You had to push a button to switch it's fuction between convection and microwave. I went to bake a cake, thinking I had the setting on convection, but it was really set for microwave. So instead of baking the cake for 25 minutes at 350 degrees, I nuked it for 25 minutes at 50% power. It came out a cinderblock. I'm just glad I was baking it in a cardboard cake pan (it was from a mix), because otherwise it might have fried the oven.

I've had cooking situations like the one you described too. I'm usually pretty good, especially when I have a clear recipe. But sometimes you get in trouble trying to "adjust for taste." I have this problem most often with tomato-based sauces. That's why I just find a store-bought marinara sauce I like and stick with it.

cincinnati chili
11-25-2006, 10:37 AM
i started by heating up the olive oil and got distracted by the dog


I'm stunned to hear that you have a dog. Do you realize the germs that dogs bring into the house? ;)

RFS62
11-25-2006, 10:44 AM
I'm stunned to hear that you have a dog. Do you realize the germs that dogs bring into the house? ;)


Dude, he's taken precautions.


http://www.british-manchester-terrier-club.co.uk/pics/HistFuture.JPG

westofyou
11-25-2006, 12:04 PM
i realize this isn't a funny story, but i really just wanted to vent...anyone got any cooking / baking disasters they'd like to share?

I once made some Chinese eggplant in garlic sauce. The sauce was pain and the key to the whole dish. It looked perfect when it hit the table, heaps of steaming eggplant in a dark, rich sauce.

Except I used a cup of vinegar in it rather than a 1/4 of a cup... it looked great, tasted like fire.

BTW never turn the heat up high to start, always work up to the heat, that way you are around when the fire gets going.

cincinnati chili
11-25-2006, 02:50 PM
Dude, he's taken precautions.


http://www.british-manchester-terrier-club.co.uk/pics/HistFuture.JPG

:)

Heath
11-25-2006, 04:50 PM
I was really waiting for the author if this thread to be GAC.

I'm highly disappointed.

:D

vaticanplum
11-25-2006, 05:57 PM
A few years ago, I was living in an apartment in Brooklyn with a stove so old that you had to light it with matches, burners and oven both. You had to turn on the gas and then kind of hold the match at an angle to the gas until it caught. For somebody like me who believes that the house is catching on fire at least five times every day, this prospect was terrifying, and it took me a long time to catch on (the stove anyway -- the oven was so freakish that I used it maybe twice). my attempts until I got the hang of it were the subject of much ridicule from my heartless friends.

But once I did get the hang of lighting the stove, I guess I got a little bold. I realized that just jumping in there with the match was a quicker, albeit slightly more dangerous, method than holding it to the side and praying while the fire on the match slowly burned down to your hand. So one time I guess I just threw the match over the gas too fast. It lit right away and I smelled something burning, but I couldn't figure out what it was. A few minutes later my arm started to itch like crazy, and i looked down and realized: I had burned off all my arm hair. You wouldn't think something like this would be noticeable because arm hair is very light, but boy can you see it when you burn it all off. You have little charred marks and ash all over your arm.

I guess that is why we have arm hair, though, to protect ourselves, because I didn't feel a thing.

This does not compare to a similar but cooking-unrelated story in which one of my good friends, who has beautiful long curly hair, caught her hair on fire in a candle while leaning over a bar to flirt with a bartender. On two separate occasions. same bar, same bartender.

Chip R
11-25-2006, 07:20 PM
I haven't had too many problems over the years. When I first moved out here I was cooking spaghetti sauce one day. I went into the living room to watch TV and totally forgot all about it. Probably about a half hour later I styarted hearing a splattering noise. I went into the kitchen and the sauce was boiling and going all over the walls and ceiling.

Red in Chicago
11-25-2006, 07:30 PM
I'm stunned to hear that you have a dog. Do you realize the germs that dogs bring into the house? ;)

yeah, that's what everyone tells me, but i just love that dog with all my heart...weird isn't it? plus, he's only 14 lbs, so i like to think he's only bringing in the pint sized germs:p:

i've had him for 12 years next month...i can't believe he's so old already...

Red in Chicago
11-25-2006, 07:31 PM
Dude, he's taken precautions.


http://www.british-manchester-terrier-club.co.uk/pics/HistFuture.JPG

hey, can i get this in a small? he's only a fox terrier:D

remdog
11-25-2006, 08:32 PM
Hey, let's not dis the dogs. A friend of mine sent me this yesterday:


Did You Know---

If you can start the day without caffeine,
If you can get going without pep pills,
If you can be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,
If you can eat the same food everyday and be grateful for it,
If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time,
If you can take criticism without resentment,
If you can ignore a friend's limited education and never correct him,
If you can resist treating a rich friend better than a poor friend,
If you can conquer tension without mendical help,
If you can relax without liquor,
If you can fall alsleep without the aid of drugs,





































You Are Probably The Family Dog! :)

Rem

vaticanplum
11-25-2006, 09:16 PM
I haven't had too many problems over the years. When I first moved out here I was cooking spaghetti sauce one day. I went into the living room to watch TV and totally forgot all about it. Probably about a half hour later I styarted hearing a splattering noise. I went into the kitchen and the sauce was boiling and going all over the walls and ceiling.

Oh man, I did this once too. Kind of hard to believe that I forgot to mention the time I set an entire kitchen on fire when I was subletting.

Put on water to boil for pasta, went in the other room, got caught up writing something, and forgot all about it. A while later I heard noises coming from the kitchen, but I was convinced there was a ghost in the apartment at that time (he was upset that the real apartment owner was gone), so I just thought he was making noise and left him alone. Then I heard dishes breaking. Finally went into the kitchen and the whole stove was on fire. What had happened was that the plastic dish drying rack covered two burners of the stove due to the lack of counter space in the kitchen, and had turned on the WRONG BURNER, ie. the one under the dish rack and not the one under the pot of water. The plastic had caught fire, as well as all the dishes on it, and they were falling in pieces (hence the breaking).

It was only then that I noticed that the whole apartment was filled with smoke to the point where I could barely see. I don't know how I missed this. I can be very spacey at times. Why didn't the smoke alarm go off, you ask? Well, young grasshopper, because I, being the pyrophobe that I am, had naturally tested the fire alarm the day I moved in and determined that the alarm was insufficient. I had gone out and bought a new one, but had had trouble getting the battery to fit so it was still lying unassembled on the kitchen table (this was only a few days after I moved in).

I did have the presence of mind to get out the fire with pails of water, close the windows and doors, and get out and call the fire department. When I ran downstairs and outside to meet them, I fell off the curb and sprained my ankle. This was not my finest moment.

I had the firemen disconnect the stove because it was electric and I was convinced that water in the wiring would set the place on fire yet again. It took me two days to clean all the black off the kitchen walls and ceiling. I didn't use the stove again for the whole month I was there.

Chip R
11-25-2006, 09:35 PM
That's some story, VP. :lol: I used to have an apartment where the smoke alarm would go off when I made toast for crying out loud. This same apartment had a stove where all the numbers were worn off the dial for the oven. I couldn't get anyone to fix it so I just used a meat thermometer and just kind of marked on the stove dial what was 350 and 375, etc.

MrCinatit
11-25-2006, 09:59 PM
When I moved into my apartment, it was the first time I had used a gas stove.
Meanwhile, having just moved into my apartment, I was poor - so I bought the cheapest, thinnest pork chops in existence.
I put one on the stove, turned up the heat, and went into my living room to watch some television.
My fire alarm is in my bedroom - a little far from the kitchen. But, this set it off, and it was then I noticed the smoke pouring out of my kitchen.
It was a few days before that stove. Or, at least tried to. I decided to have a can of Spaghetti-O's, and prepared to open them up, when I discovered I had never bothered to buy a can opener.

RFS62
11-26-2006, 12:48 AM
In our house, we call the smoke detector the cook timer.

GAC
11-26-2006, 07:34 AM
In our house, we call the smoke detector the cook timer.

You should be hearing from Ron White's lawyer soon. ;)


You are a lousy cook if....

Your family automatically heads for the table every time they hear a fire siren

Anyone has ever broken a tooth eating your homemade yogurt.

Your kids know what "peas porridge in a pot nine days old" tastes like.

Your son goes outside to make mud pies, the rest of the family grabs forks and follows him.

Your kids favorite drink is Alka-Seltzer.

You have to buy 25 pounds of dog food twice a week for your toy poodle.

Your kids got even with the neighborhood bully by inviting him over for dinner.

Your kids got suspended from school for trying to smuggle toxic waste in their lunch bags.

No matter what you do to it the gravy still turns bright purple.

You burned the house down trying to make jelly.

Your dog goes to the neighbors' to eat.

When you BBQ two of your kids hold water guns and the third has the phone with 911 on speed-dial.

Your apple pie bubbled over and ate the enamel off the bottom of the oven.

You used three boxes of scouring pads, a bottle of Drano and a crowbar, but that macaroni and cheese still won't let go of the pan!

You feel you need a bigger oven to cook Chocolate Moose.

bucksfan
11-27-2006, 02:34 PM
I applaud anyone that has the wherewithal to get into these situations. I am most definitely not a cook, though my wife is. My story goes something like this : I left a half-full pizza box on the counter and our dog got it.

harangatang
11-27-2006, 03:25 PM
But once I did get the hang of lighting the stove, I guess I got a little bold. I realized that just jumping in there with the match was a quicker, albeit slightly more dangerous, method than holding it to the side and praying while the fire on the match slowly burned down to your hand. So one time I guess I just threw the match over the gas too fast. It lit right away and I smelled something burning, but I couldn't figure out what it was. A few minutes later my arm started to itch like crazy, and i looked down and realized: I had burned off all my arm hair. You wouldn't think something like this would be noticeable because arm hair is very light, but boy can you see it when you burn it all off. You have little charred marks and ash all over your arm.

I guess that is why we have arm hair, though, to protect ourselves, because I didn't feel a thing.I hate to get way off topic but since you said that I have tell this story. Back when I was in high school I was sitting in a McDonald's drive thru with one of my friends and he thought it would be funny to singe some of the hairs off my arm. I was sitting there and I could smell something burning and I thought my car was on fire at first. I then looked down and my friend had a lighter lit on my arm and I couldn't even feel it. One of the craziest things ever, but he got it back, no worries. I don't want to stray the topic off farther.

vaticanplum
11-27-2006, 07:09 PM
I hate to get way off topic but since you said that I have tell this story. Back when I was in high school I was sitting in a McDonald's drive thru with one of my friends and he thought it would be funny to singe some of the hairs off my arm. I was sitting there and I could smell something burning and I thought my car was on fire at first. I then looked down and my friend had a lighter lit on my arm and I couldn't even feel it. One of the craziest things ever, but he got it back, no worries. I don't want to stray the topic off farther.

:)

The human body is a clever thing. Friends, not so much.

registerthis
11-27-2006, 07:44 PM
I made some baked ziti once and forgot to cook the ziti noodles first.

That didn't work out so well.