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HumnHilghtFreel
12-07-2006, 11:41 AM
http://www.cracked.com/index.php?name=News&sid=1369&pageid=1

:laugh:

westofyou
12-07-2006, 11:43 AM
Gary Cooper - Pride of the Yankees

Gary Cooper had enough problems batting right-handed let alone left-handed like Gehrig, so the actor wore a uniform with "KROY WEN" on the front, ran to third base when he managed to hit the ball, and then they reversed the print.

dabvu2498
12-07-2006, 11:49 AM
John Goodman - Babe

cincinnati chili
12-07-2006, 11:56 AM
John Goodman - Babe

I agree with that one. That should win every award.

This quote from the piece is flat out wrong:

"Robert DeNiro in Raging Bull
While DeNiro may have spent months gaining and losing weight for his role as Jake LaMotta, his boxing, and the way Scorcese shoots the ring action, evokes a creepy snuff film more than an exciting boxing match."

BuckeyeRed27
12-07-2006, 12:01 PM
Vince Vaughn also played a running back in Rudy not a quarterback. Probably made the mistake because he throws a TD pass on a half back option, but still the article had that wrong.

Highlifeman21
12-07-2006, 12:39 PM
I'll give you a quick top 5 of worst performances in golf movies, IMO.

5. Matt Damon in Legend of Baggar Vance. The guy that played Bobby Jones had a pretty good looking swing though, so that has to count for something.

4. Judge Smails in Caddyshack. Sure, lie to me some more and tell me you never slice the ball.

3. Randy Quaid in Dead Solid Perfect. This needs no further explanation.

2. Tie. Shayla whatever his last name is in Greatest Game Ever Played. When you promised your dad you'd never play again, he probably thought to himself "It's about time you realize you have no talent." Kevin Costner in Tin Cup. There's a reason you call your swing the "unfinished symphony" when you're trying to cop a feel on Rene Russo. You have no follow through, and anyone can look decent hitting a golf ball when they don't follow through. Don't give me this crap that you don't follow through to keep the ball under the wind in Texas. Complete myth.

1. Don Johnson in Tin Cup. Don't even get me started.

Curious as to anyone's opinion on any of these 5.

RFS62
12-07-2006, 12:47 PM
I read that Quaid was a 3 handicap.

HumnHilghtFreel
12-07-2006, 12:49 PM
2. Kevin Costner in Tin Cup. There's a reason you call your swing the "unfinished symphony" when you're trying to cop a feel on Rene Russo. You have no follow through, and anyone can look decent hitting a golf ball when they don't follow through. Don't give me this crap that you don't follow through to keep the ball under the wind in Texas. Complete myth.
.

He also used a garden spade, rake and baseball bat to hit the ball in this movie. That helped him to lose some credibility for me as well lol

MWM
12-07-2006, 12:52 PM
I disagree with White Men Can't Jump. I thought both were very believable in the roles they were playing.

I agree with the John Goodman sentiments. That was just embarassing.

My first thought when I saw the title was MIchael J. Fox in teen wolf. WOW, how can someone be that uncoordinated?

Who cares about Vince Vaughn in Rudy? Seriouly, he had to be an athlete for all of 10 seconds and it had no impact ont he movie.

I thought most of the baseball scenes in 8 Men Out were pretty bad.

What about Ralph Machio in The Karate Kid.

Highlifeman21
12-07-2006, 12:55 PM
I read that Quaid was a 3 handicap.

That's what puzzles me about his performance. He's supposed to be a good golfer in real life, a low single digit handicapper and you might be right with 3.

Just didn't put a good move on the ball in that movie.

Highlifeman21
12-07-2006, 12:57 PM
He also used a garden spade, rake and baseball bat to hit the ball in this movie. That helped him to lose some credibility for me as well lol

Ironically, he actually put better swings on the ball using those than golf clubs. IIRC, he hit the golf ball lefthanded with the baseball bat, which might explain why his right handed golf swing looks awkward.

Great part of the movie though. You definitely see stuff like that go on.

dabvu2498
12-07-2006, 12:58 PM
I read that Quaid was a 3 handicap.


Dennis Quaid is actually a 1.1. Randy is a 5.9.

Interesting: Don Johnson is an 8.1, Joel Gretsch, who played Bob Jones in the Bagger Vance movie is a 10 and Costner is a 10.8.

Long list of celeb golf handicaps here: http://www.golfdigest.com/features/index.ssf?/features/gd200512hollywoodranking.html

Highlifeman21
12-07-2006, 01:11 PM
Dennis Quaid is actually a 1.1. Randy is a 5.9.

Interesting: Don Johnson is an 8.1, Joel Gretsch, who played Bob Jones in the Bagger Vance movie is a 10 and Costner is a 10.8.

Long list of celeb golf handicaps here: http://www.golfdigest.com/features/index.ssf?/features/gd200512hollywoodranking.html

Good stuff.

Although, handicaps should always be taken with a grain of salt. You'll always have 2 types of handicaps.

1. The ego handicap
2. The sandbag handicap

Usually you'll find a mix of the 2, and it's more so to avoid the sandbag handicap when you're called a cheat for taking money on the course b/c you're getting way too many strokes than you probably deserve.

What amazes me about the handicap system is when you're supposedly good enough that your handicap goes to the + side. That basically means you're shooting under the course rating everytime you tee it up. More often than not, this means you're playing the wrong tees.

Of all the + handicaps I know and have played with, I'd say only 10% of them are legit. But you have to remember, the handicap system takes your most recent best 20 rounds, and uses that as an approximation of what you should shoot like 25% of the time.

Enough geeky golf pro talk.

westofyou
12-07-2006, 01:28 PM
Al Pacino was less then convincing in Bobby Deerfield...

Unassisted
12-07-2006, 02:44 PM
Nick Nolte limping, squinting and mumbling his way through "North Dallas Forty" leapt to mind when I read the thread title. I really liked that movie at the time, though.

I dug the columnist's crack on Scott Bakula in the article, even though I've never seen "Necessary Roughness." :laugh:

IowaRed
12-07-2006, 02:48 PM
Julius Erving in The Fish that Saved Pittsburgh...ridiculous

bucksfan
12-07-2006, 03:10 PM
I tend to agree with the article on White Men Can't Jump. Maybe in the scope of all horrible athletic performance portrayed on film, maybe they shouldn't be that high up there, but that is the one sticking point of the movie with me. Neither actor really sold me on their comfortable-ness with a basketball. I don't know if either played much ball off-screen or not. Heck maybe they did and maybe they were good. I can buy that good players don't always "look" good - see my comments in other hoops threads. But usually you see much less mechanical and more lose action in real basketball players than you did in Snipes and Harrelson. The first time I saw that movie years ago I was completely surprised by how they did not seem to be able to really nail the roles of good playground basketball hustlers at all.

dabvu2498
12-07-2006, 03:19 PM
OK, then... what would be the best athletic performances by non-athletes in movies?

Here are some thoughts of mine:

1. Almost everyone in Hoosiers.
2. Ray Liotta in Field of Dreams made a decent Joe Jackson.
3. Burt Reynolds in The Longest Yard... wait... wasn't he an athlete??? :dunno: :lol:
4. The Ladies of A League of Their Own. I'm going to get killed for this, but the baseball scenes actually resembled baseball.
5. Pele in Victory! (Just a little shot at the soccer fans. ;) )

oneupper
12-07-2006, 03:22 PM
Kirsten Dunst in Wimbledon should be on the "bad" list.

RFS62
12-07-2006, 03:24 PM
OK, then... what would be the best athletic performances by non-athletes in movies?

4. The Ladies of A League of Their Own. I'm going to get killed for this, but the baseball scenes actually resembled baseball.



I absolutely agree with this. Geena Davis had some subtle little moves, like starting her stride while taking a pitch, that were obviously well practiced to be authentic. I was very impressed with her performance.

cincinnati chili
12-07-2006, 03:31 PM
I absolutely agree with this. Geena Davis had some subtle little moves, like starting her stride while taking a pitch, that were obviously well practiced to be authentic. I was very impressed with her performance.

Even more amazing because IIRC she didn't have a baseball/softball background.

registerthis
12-07-2006, 03:31 PM
How could anyone forget Scott Bakula in Necessary Roughness?

dabvu2498
12-07-2006, 03:34 PM
How could anyone forget Scott Bakula in Necessary Roughness?


Or Kathy Ireland in the same movie?

VR
12-07-2006, 03:38 PM
Julius Erving in The Fish that Saved Pittsburgh...ridiculous


I think it was the Doctors' acting, not his athleticism. He was the man. Talk like that about him again and we'll have really big issues. ;)

redsfanmia
12-07-2006, 03:49 PM
William Bendix in the Babe Ruth Story was awful.

remdog
12-07-2006, 03:50 PM
Even more amazing because IIRC she didn't have a baseball/softball background.


I don't know about the baseball/softball background but didn't she qualify for the Olympic trials in archery?

Rem

Chip R
12-07-2006, 03:52 PM
I don't know about the baseball/softball background but didn't she qualify for the Olympic trials in archery?

Rem


Yes she did.

Matt700wlw
12-07-2006, 04:20 PM
Tommy Lee Jones - "Cobb"

There was nothing athletic about it.....just him drinking heavily and being rude and crude.

:)

I liked the movie, though

LoganBuck
12-07-2006, 04:29 PM
The kid pitcher in Dazed and Confused. I watched a directors cut on AMC or maybe E, and they had to use a body double because he had absolutely NO athletic background and looked so incredibly unbelievable throwing a ball, that they went and found a kid pitching in a middle school game nearby to use. They showed footage of him trying to throw, and I mean wow, was that bad. If you watch the movie sometime soon, notice the camara angles when he is delivering a pitch.

Chip R
12-07-2006, 04:42 PM
Tim Robbins in Bull Durham.

Johnny Footstool
12-07-2006, 04:54 PM
The kid pitcher in Dazed and Confused. I watched a directors cut on AMC or maybe E, and they had to use a body double because he had absolutely NO athletic background and looked so incredibly unbelievable throwing a ball, that they went and found a kid pitching in a middle school game nearby to use. They showed footage of him trying to throw, and I mean wow, was that bad. If you watch the movie sometime soon, notice the camara angles when he is delivering a pitch.

Who would have thought a kid named Wiley Wiggins couldn't pitch?

My own addition to this list is Brendan Fraser in "The Scout". His pitching motion looked pretty goofy.

NJReds
12-07-2006, 04:57 PM
I'll give you a quick top 5 of worst performances in golf movies, IMO.

5. Matt Damon in Legend of Baggar Vance. The guy that played Bobby Jones had a pretty good looking swing though, so that has to count for something.

4. Judge Smails in Caddyshack. Sure, lie to me some more and tell me you never slice the ball.

3. Randy Quaid in Dead Solid Perfect. This needs no further explanation.

2. Tie. Shayla whatever his last name is in Greatest Game Ever Played. When you promised your dad you'd never play again, he probably thought to himself "It's about time you realize you have no talent." Kevin Costner in Tin Cup. There's a reason you call your swing the "unfinished symphony" when you're trying to cop a feel on Rene Russo. You have no follow through, and anyone can look decent hitting a golf ball when they don't follow through. Don't give me this crap that you don't follow through to keep the ball under the wind in Texas. Complete myth.

1. Don Johnson in Tin Cup. Don't even get me started.

Curious as to anyone's opinion on any of these 5.

How about Tony in Caddyshack (I don't know the actor's name) He had the worst swing I've ever seen. No way he should've been close to Noonan!

vaticanplum
12-07-2006, 07:38 PM
Yes she did.

She did, but that came later. I mean, I can't speak to her natural athletic abilities before A League of their Own, but she did not start, er, archering until after the movie. Really quite amazing what she did with that.

I loved the Babe. My mom took me to see it in the movie theater which was quite a big deal and special occasion. I'd be afraid to see it now. I want to remember it well.

MrCinatit
12-07-2006, 07:52 PM
No love for lefty Anthony Perkins as righty Jim Piersall in Fear Strikes Out?

And I totally agree on A League Of Their Own.

vaticanplum
12-07-2006, 07:53 PM
I've never seen A League of Their Own. That's a little insane now I think about it.

RFS62
12-07-2006, 07:59 PM
I've never seen A League of Their Own. That's a little insane now I think about it.


That IS totally insane. It's a masterpiece.

pedro
12-07-2006, 08:03 PM
Gary Cooper - Pride of the Yankees

Gary Cooper had enough problems batting right-handed let alone left-handed like Gehrig, so the actor wore a uniform with "KROY WEN" on the front, ran to third base when he managed to hit the ball, and then they reversed the print.

I hate the eeknay's

Highlifeman21
12-07-2006, 08:04 PM
How about Tony in Caddyshack (I don't know the actor's name) He had the worst swing I've ever seen. No way he should've been close to Noonan!

He wore black golf glove(s).

That's a Narron-esque scrappy factor you can't teach at the driving range.

Blimpie
12-07-2006, 09:06 PM
I'll give you a quick top 5 of worst performances in golf movies, IMO.

5. Matt Damon in Legend of Baggar Vance. The guy that played Bobby Jones had a pretty good looking swing though, so that has to count for something.

4. Judge Smails in Caddyshack. Sure, lie to me some more and tell me you never slice the ball.

3. Randy Quaid in Dead Solid Perfect. This needs no further explanation.
2. Tie. Shayla whatever his last name is in Greatest Game Ever Played. When you promised your dad you'd never play again, he probably thought to himself "It's about time you realize you have no talent." Kevin Costner in Tin Cup. There's a reason you call your swing the "unfinished symphony" when you're trying to cop a feel on Rene Russo. You have no follow through, and anyone can look decent hitting a golf ball when they don't follow through. Don't give me this crap that you don't follow through to keep the ball under the wind in Texas. Complete myth.

1. Don Johnson in Tin Cup. Don't even get me started.

Curious as to anyone's opinion on any of these 5.Not only was Quaid a 3 handicap (as already mentioned), but he personally made the "trick shot" at the end of the movie that was around the trees in slow motion...

Puffy
12-07-2006, 10:29 PM
OK, then... what would be the best athletic performances by non-athletes in movies?

Here are some thoughts of mine:

1. Almost everyone in Hoosiers.



All the Hooisers were former college players - - except for Jimmy Chitwood. Amazing, huh.

I thought Snipes and Harrelson were awesome in White Men - and I know Harrelson was a basketball player. He plays pick up almost every day and he played with some people I knew in upstate NY when he was going thru there for something and they said he was pretty good.

Shooter McGavin was pretty bad in Happy Gilmore - but that was a comedy so I'll give it a pass.

Robbie Benson was horrible in One on One. Michael J. Fox bad.

I agree with MWM - Vince Vaughn was a bit player in Rudy, who cares how bad he looked. He had less than 3 minutes screen time in the whole movie.

Puffy
12-07-2006, 10:31 PM
That IS totally insane. It's a masterpiece.

Dude - take the panties out of your butt and go to blockbuster and rent a guy movie, will ya. Like Porky's or Bachelor Party.

vaticanplum
12-07-2006, 10:41 PM
Robbie Benson was horrible in One on One. Michael J. Fox bad.

But heartbreaking, and not entirely unconvincing, in Ice Castles.

Johnny Footstool
12-07-2006, 11:05 PM
I've never seen A League of Their Own. That's a little insane now I think about it.

That's understandble. It's rarely shown on cable or broadcast tv.

vaticanplum
12-07-2006, 11:16 PM
That's understandble. It's rarely shown on cable or broadcast tv.

My TV breaks if someone three houses away even considers looking at it funny. It would never last through a whole movie.

Chip R
12-08-2006, 12:07 AM
That's understandble. It's rarely shown on cable or broadcast tv.


Just like The Blues Brothers or The Breakfast Club.

Sweetstop
12-08-2006, 09:17 AM
That IS totally insane. It's a masterpiece.

I love "A League of Their Own" and will watch it at the drop of a hat. Speaking of a masterpiece, Tom Hanks is a hoot. "There's no crying....."

Johnny Footstool
12-08-2006, 11:02 AM
Just like The Blues Brothers or The Breakfast Club.

I think there's a cable channel that shows A League of Their Own, The Blues Brothers, The Breakfast Club, and Die Hard on a constant loop.

texasdave
12-08-2006, 11:13 AM
I know it's a long movie, but i can rarely turn on the television without finding 'Dances with Wolves' on somewhere.

BuckWoody
12-08-2006, 11:41 AM
Tim Robbins in Bull Durham immediately came to mind for me. I once read an interview with him where he said that during filming was was able to reach 80 mph on the radar gun. Pretty laughable...I don't think he could have gotten it up to 40 with the way he threw.

It's still one of my favorite movies of all time, though. "Don't think; it can only hurt the ball club." :)

It's also nice to see that a lot of folks on here really liked A League of Their Own. It's another one of my favorites.

Johnny Footstool
12-08-2006, 11:45 AM
What about Robert Redford in "The Natural?" I though his swing looked ridiculous in that movie -- anything but "natural." And Joe Don Baker as "The Whammer" was equally lame -- he should stick to movies in which he only uses a baseball bat to crack heads ("Walking Tall").

On the flip side of this topic, there's a little-known but well-loved HBO movie from the '80s called "Long Gone" that featured a young Dermot Mulroney as a scrappy infielder named Jamie Don Weeks. I remember Mulroney looked very authentic and impressive as the slick-fielding second baseman, making diving catches, ranging behind the bag and making leaping throw across his body.

Chip R
12-08-2006, 02:35 PM
On the flip side of this topic, there's a little-known but well-loved HBO movie from the '80s called "Long Gone" that featured a young Dermot Mulroney as a scrappy infielder named Jamie Don Weeks. I remember Mulroney looked very authentic and impressive as the slick-fielding second baseman, making diving catches, ranging behind the bag and making leaping throw across his body.


Yeah, I taped that movie off WGN about 15 years ago. You know who else was in it? William Peterson from CSI. You'd think as popular as CSI is now they would be showing that movie some.

Johnny Footstool
12-08-2006, 04:36 PM
Yeah, I taped that movie off WGN about 15 years ago. You know who else was in it? William Peterson from CSI. You'd think as popular as CSI is now they would be showing that movie some.

William Peterson was very good as "Stud" Cantrell. I remember thinking his baseball skills weren't very impresive, but his acting talent was very apparent.

Teller (of Penn and Teller) was also in the movie (in a speaking role, no less).

I imagine the WGN version was cleaned up quite a bit. The original HBO version was gloriously raunchy.

Chip R
12-08-2006, 04:53 PM
William Peterson was very good as "Stud" Cantrell. I remember thinking his baseball skills weren't very impresive, but his acting talent was very apparent.

Teller (of Penn and Teller) was also in the movie (in a speaking role, no less).

I imagine the WGN version was cleaned up quite a bit. The original HBO version was gloriously raunchy.


Peterson was very good in it. I imagine it was pretty raunchy. Be nice if it ever came out on DVD.

nate
12-08-2006, 04:58 PM
Rodney Dangerfield as a former platform diver in "Back to School".

RFS62
12-08-2006, 05:04 PM
Rodney Dangerfield as a former platform diver in "Back to School".



No love for the Triple Lindy?

Chip R
12-08-2006, 05:05 PM
Rodney Dangerfield as a former platform diver in "Back to School".


Call me crazy but I think Rodney had a stunt double in some of those scenes. ;)

paintmered
12-08-2006, 05:21 PM
Call me crazy but I think Rodney had a stunt double in some of those scenes. ;)

He just can't get no respect.

Rojo
12-08-2006, 05:29 PM
Is it just me or did it look like James Caan hadn't even seen a rollerball game.

Cooper
12-08-2006, 09:30 PM
De Niro looked like a dying catcher in "Bang the Drum Slowly". He dint look like an athelete at all whereas by the time he played the crazy guy in "Cape Fear" he looked cut and in shape.

Cooper
12-08-2006, 09:37 PM
I thought Robby Benson looked like a dang good basketball player in "one -on -One". In fact, i'd say it's rare when an actor looks like he can ball , but Benson pulled it off.

savafan
12-08-2006, 09:53 PM
Charlie Sheen looked like a pitcher in Major League

RFS62
12-08-2006, 09:59 PM
Tony Danza throws like a girl in Angels in the Outfield. And I'm not talking about the girls in A league of their own.

RedsBaron
12-08-2006, 10:37 PM
What about Robert Redford in "The Natural?" I though his swing looked ridiculous in that movie -- anything but "natural."

Redford is supposed to have been a good athlete, but I agree: His swing didn't look very "natural."

RedsBaron
12-08-2006, 10:41 PM
Charlie Sheen looked like a pitcher in Major League

I agree, but Chelcie Ross, who played starting pitcher "Eddie Harris" in that film, looked horrible and in no way resembled a real major league pitcher. I halfway expected DanO to offer him a Reds contract.

sonny
12-09-2006, 05:37 AM
Gary Busey in Rookie of the Year?

OH GOD! He threw like my 14 month old.

That's actually a crack on my son.

GAC
12-09-2006, 11:20 AM
Gary Cooper - Pride of the Yankees

Gary Cooper had enough problems batting right-handed let alone left-handed like Gehrig, so the actor wore a uniform with "KROY WEN" on the front, ran to third base when he managed to hit the ball, and then they reversed the print.

I love that movie, and just bought the DVD the other day.

And you're right. It was a problem making that movie because Coop was the most un-athletic person you'd ever want to meet. And you can really tell it when he swings. Quite ackward.

He was no Aaron Boone. :evil:

GAC
12-09-2006, 11:24 AM
Has anyone mentioned Tom Sizemore as Pete Rose or John Goodman as the Babe?

Highlifeman21
12-09-2006, 11:25 AM
Not only was Quaid a 3 handicap (as already mentioned), but he personally made the "trick shot" at the end of the movie that was around the trees in slow motion...

Only reason I dogged Quaid was b/c of the obvious cast move he has in his swing. For such a good player, I'm surprised to see such an obvious swing flaw.

He was more convincing than Johnson or Costner as a golfer!

M2
12-09-2006, 12:21 PM
Mariel Hemingway in "Personal Best" was pathetic, fundamentally unable to run faster than a quick jog. The "race" scenes in the movie are hysterical. You can actually see the other runners slowing down to a crawl pace to let Hemingway hit the tape first.

Puffy
12-09-2006, 02:08 PM
Mariel Hemingway in "Personal Best" was pathetic, fundamentally unable to run faster than a quick jog. The "race" scenes in the movie are hysterical. You can actually see the other runners slowing down to a crawl pace to let Hemingway hit the tape first.

Yes, but the lesbian scene was one of the best scenes evah!

LoganBuck
12-09-2006, 02:37 PM
How about Teen Wolf I and II? Wowza, look at Michael J Fox's jump shot.

Yachtzee
12-09-2006, 03:57 PM
On the flip side of this topic, there's a little-known but well-loved HBO movie from the '80s called "Long Gone" that featured a young Dermot Mulroney as a scrappy infielder named Jamie Don Weeks. I remember Mulroney looked very authentic and impressive as the slick-fielding second baseman, making diving catches, ranging behind the bag and making leaping throw across his body.

The Tampico Stogies. I loved that film. I remember him looking pretty good too, and as I was playing second base for my youth league team, I was very attuned to watching how middle infielders played in the movies.

I'm actually surpised at how bad actors can be when playing a baseball player in a movie. So many look like they've never even so much as played catch with their dad. It doesn't seem like it would be too hard to find an actor who could look halfway competent throwing a baseball. They usually look especially bad when they're supposed to have a great fastball. Maybe they should make more movies involving knuckleballers. At least with the knuckler, you don't need to have good form to be successful. Then they could just CGI the ball to look like it's got no spin and good movement.

Razor Shines
12-09-2006, 04:37 PM
Vince Vaughn also played a running back in Rudy not a quarterback. Probably made the mistake because he throws a TD pass on a half back option, but still the article had that wrong.

Actually it wasn't even Vaughn who threw the pass, they had to have someone stand in for him because his throwing motion was so bad. I heard the guy who made the movie talking about it. Vaughn was originally cast as the quarterback because he put on his resume that he was an all state honorable mention QB in high school. When they began shooting the movie they took him out to do some throwing and they realized he lied, so he was re-cast.

As for White Men Can't Jump: Being the white boy shooter in real life I was embarrassed by Woody's jump shot, he may be a decent basketball player but he is NOT a shooter. Snipes was even worse, I've always really liked that movie because I've done similar things to what they did in the movie but to me they were not believable.

Chip R
12-09-2006, 04:41 PM
Is it just me or did it look like James Caan hadn't even seen a rollerball game.


Who had?