PDA

View Full Version : Stupid things you've done



Puffy
02-12-2007, 01:04 PM
Everybody has moments of stupidity - or "blonde moments" - so what is something stupid you've done or said.

I'll start - my sister and her family were here visiting me a couple of months ago. My sister was going to give my neice a bath and she asked me if I had any shampoo. I said of course and told her it was in her hand. She said no, this is conditioner. Turns out I was using conditioner to "shampoo" my hair for about three months.

Red Leader
02-12-2007, 01:19 PM
"I never seen anyone as dumb as you. You musta got manure for your brains." :laugh: :laugh: :evil:

westofyou
02-12-2007, 01:25 PM
Burnt a clutch out of a car trying to pull a bush out of a flower bed.

RedFanAlways1966
02-12-2007, 01:40 PM
Geez, where do I start?

Considering it is winter, I guess I'll start here: 16-years-old, driving in snow & ice for the first time. I am heading down a 2-lane country road going to hang out at my girlfriend's house. I am driving my parent's 1982 Chevy Beauville van. I get up to about 50-mph thinking this snow & ice stuff isn't too tough. Lo and behold I get to a 4-way intersection that has stopsigns at all directions; therefore, I start to apply the brakes. Oops, the van starts going sideways and then frontways and then backways and then sideways again.

As luck would have it I went off the road where there were no ditches (like there was on most of this road). There happened to be a tree nursery at the point of leaving the road. The front of the van ended up running into a big pile of smallerer tree branches/limbs that was stacked up by the nursery. I get out of the van and check for front-end damages and to my glee there is no damage. Woo-hoo I think (good ol' Dad is not going to know or kill me) as I get back in, back up into their parking lot and get back onto the road.

Later that year during the spring (I had kind of forgotten all about it) my Dad decided to change the sparkplugs on his van. I came out of the house and he asked me to come over to where the van was parked in our driveway. He had a small pile of about 8-10 branches and asked me, "Do you happen to know where these came from? I found these in the engine block of the van?" Of course I told him that I had no clue. He gave me that look like I know you are lying to me and then said, "I probably don't want to know, but please be careful when you drive." I felt guilty and learned a valuable lesson about driving on snow and ice.

Dom Heffner
02-12-2007, 01:42 PM
When I was twelve, I shut our back door with my hand on the glass portion instead of the wood.

It probably didn't help that the windows were open in the rest of the house.

My hand sailed through the glass in about, oh, one millisecond.

bucksfan
02-12-2007, 01:49 PM
I was gutting the house we now live in, using primarily a reciprocating saw, hammer, and prybars as my toools of destruction. Our house has hot water heat, so of course copper water lines running throughout, a fact I was well aware of. In one particular place, the copper line ran through a hole cut in the baseboard. Instead of taking the time to stop and go get a handsaw or some similarly more precise instrucment, I trie dto "be careful" with the reciprocating saw and tried to cut the basebaord wood piece free. It was such a poor decision. I only barely nicked the copper pipe, but sure enough the water laced with antifreeze started spurting out! This was in winter to boot. I still cannot believe I tried to do that!

Red Leader
02-12-2007, 01:54 PM
I agreed to go on National TV when I was in college and completely zonked out of my mind.:pimp:

I went to Kent St. They always have a May 4th ceremony there and you get the day off of school. A bunch of friends of mine and myself partied it up and then headed over to the ceremonies. When we walked over the hill we saw a news crew. Tom Brokaw saw us walking by and asked if I'd join him for an interview of the events. Like a moron, I said "surrrre." This was in 1995, so national news was there covering the "25th anniversary." Luckily, my parents didn't see it on TV and I never mentioned it to anyone in my family. If they had seen it, I'm sure I would have either gotten a phone call or a personal visit at school. I sounded like a complete moron on TV and looked even worse. They would not have been proud.

Puffy
02-12-2007, 01:57 PM
When I was 17 years old I went to the bowling alley with my friend and my little brother (who was 8 at the time). We took my moms Cadillac Cimmeron (sp?). Anyway, it had been raining off and on for a week.

So we get done bowling and pull of my parking space and head towards the exit when we hit this massive puddle. Water starts shooting violently out the side of the tires (you know that cool look) and I realize this is no puddle, but rather a lake. And the water is now up to my window! Apparently this parking lot did not handle water very well.

Anyway I decide that going forward is no longer an option so I throw it in reverse and the whole car shuts down. This was back in the late 80's and back then cars and computers were just starting to mix and this was one of the first. so we can't start the car, we are surrounded by 3 feet of water and I had no idea what to do. Plus the windows were power windows and only worked when the car was on and we couldn't turn the car on! So we had to open the doors to get out. Not a good idea when in three feet of water.

Well, we opened the doors and got out and shut them as quickly as possible and we started to walk away. Well, swim away. And then I heard banging on the window. Dammit, we forgot my little brother who couldn't open his door and who would have drowned if he got it open! So I trekked back and got him out and caried him thru the lake/puddle.

Lets just say that Cadillac was never the same after I drove it into the lake (as my parents always joked well, after the year period of being pissed at me)

Red Leader
02-12-2007, 02:08 PM
My Dad had a Chevy Suburban to pull his 17' boat. It had a special tow package on it. The thing was a complete beast. We called it the Brontosaurus. Anyway, we had gotten about 8" of snow in a 3 hour time period when I was a senior in HS. The boys basketball team was playing an away game at Kettering Fairmont, our rival. I was our only hope of going. My Dad agreed to let me take the Bronto. I used to sit at a red light and throw my buddy from the middle seat up against the back window by flooring it off of the start. This thing had power. On to the story. We went to the basketball game. When it was over, we decided to go "off roading." Problem is, we didn't pick the smartest of locations. We went to the Kettering Rec Center. We drove through the parking lot and into the soccer field. I was tearing it up, spinning around and the truck was handling like a champ through the thick snow. I was plowing through the soccer field when my buddy yells "score a goal!" Like a moron, I floored it and tried to go through the soccer goal (w/no net, I'm not that stupid ;) ). The roof of the Bronto didn't make it under the goal post. We were able to make it through, but the paint was scraped by the goal post. I worked all of the following summer to pay my Dad back to fix the paint on the roof.

registerthis
02-12-2007, 02:34 PM
When I was 16, I let my then-12 year old sister drive my car from the driveway into the garage. She mixed up the brake and accelerator pedals and ended up driving the car through the garage wall and into our living room. The car got stuck on part of the foundation wall; otherwise, it would likely have continued on through the house, into the backyard, and into the neighbor's yard.

Mom and dad weren't too thrilled about that one.

Ltlabner
02-12-2007, 02:42 PM
I think I was 12 or 13 when I wondered what would happen if I put a fuse across both prongs of a partially pluged in implement in an electrical outlet. This was one of the small 1" long glass fuses with metalic ends and a fuse running the length of the cylinder.

I put on some rubber gloves (because I was being carefull) and carefully alligned the plug in the outlet so the prongs were exposed but current was still flowing. Slowly I dropped the fuse across the prongs.

A giant flash of the brightest light I've ever seen went off and a cloud of pure white smoke hung in the air. I blew the circuit and many of the outlets in the house went dead.

Within seconds Mom and Dad were yelling down into the basement, "what the bleep was that?!?!". Quickly, and without any thought I meekly yelled back up....."nothing...."

Ltlabner
02-12-2007, 02:43 PM
Other dumb things include:

Touching a high intensity light bulb to see how hot it was.

Slicing a bagle open with a serated bread knife and thinking, "this is ok, these knives aren't that sharp...."

Laughing in my mothers face when she paddled me and it didn't hurt. The right cross to my chin shure did hurt.

dabvu2498
02-12-2007, 02:45 PM
A friend and I slid down the spillway at Houston Woods back in high school.

Sadly, I watched him do it and went anyway.

Heath
02-12-2007, 03:40 PM
Make sure when GAC posts here that Boss & GIK have the bill paid for Data Storage.

:D

Dom Heffner
02-12-2007, 04:18 PM
I was tubing at that park in Mt. Washington behind Burger Chef when I was a kid and 6 of us piled on the same inner tube going down a huge hill that had a creek at the bottom.

Everybody bailed off the tube except me and the tube jumped the creek and rammed right into a set of railroad ties that made up one of the embankments. I hit the railroad ties with my head, basically. Not only did my head hurt for like 3 days, the force caused me to bite my lip- there was blood everywhere.

Very embarassing. And painful.

pedro
02-12-2007, 04:22 PM
Some friends and I were hiking on Mt. Diablo (bay area) when i was in high school and we all decided that were going to jump off this rock about 15 feet in the air over a creek to the other side. I was the last one to go and I slipped on some moss and fell into the creek bed breaking my hip, shoulder and wrist. good times.

westofyou
02-12-2007, 04:32 PM
Some friends and I were hiking on Mt. Diablo (bay area) when i was in high school and we all decided that were going to jump off this rock about 15 feet in the air over a creek to the other side. I was the last one to go and I slipped on some moss and fell into the creek bed breaking my hip, shoulder and wrist. good times.
You're forgetting the stupid part.

Then he went home and soaked in the bath and didn't say anything to his folks until they noticed he couldn't move.

zombie-a-go-go
02-12-2007, 04:36 PM
I've never done anything stupid.

15fan
02-12-2007, 05:10 PM
In high school, I punched the padding over a cinder block wall and chipped a bone in my wrist.

This was in response to the coach (who was completely clueless and in over his head) pulling all of the regulars and leaving me on the court as the only guy who had any game experience. Each time the other team scored or we failed to score, I looked over to the bench expecting the coach to call a timeout and get some regulars back on the court. Saw nothing but a blank stare.

When the game was over and the other team won, it was either the coach or the wall. I chose to hit the wall.

If I had it to do all over again, for many many reasons, I'd have opted for the coach instead.

Roy Tucker
02-12-2007, 05:31 PM
My list is too long.

Probably marrying too young.

Either that, or uttering the line "if you take him to jail, you'll have to take us all".

FutureRedsGM
02-12-2007, 05:35 PM
Either that, or uttering the line "if you take him to jail, you'll have to take us all".

The following has been heard coming from my mouth (in a drunk tone): "How bad can jail be?"

RichRed
02-12-2007, 05:46 PM
I was drunk out of my gourd and called a female cop "sir." Joke was on her though - I'd already been arrested.

Ahh, college.

Red Leader
02-12-2007, 05:50 PM
My list is too long.
Either that, or uttering the line "if you take him to jail, you'll have to take us all".
:laugh: :laugh:

Which reminds me.

My last two years of college we went on Spring Break to Key West, FL. We rented scooters for the week both times. The first year I got so completely hammered at the bars that it took me almost an hour to find my scooter. I must have tried my key in 1000 white scooters before one finally fit. I was driving home and got pulled over. I tried to act all cool. I shut my scooter off, swung my right leg over the bike and stood up to the left side of the bike. I went to lean against the scooter and my arm slipped off the seat. I fell and knocked the scooter over, landing on it. The officer walked up and said "son, do you really think you should be driving this thing?" I thought if I answered no, I'd get in trouble or arrested so I said "I'm fine, I have a cold and am dizzy from being sick." He gave me a look like "yeah, ok." He told me to park the scooter on the side of the road for safety and walk back to the hotel. He gave me a ticket for wreckless driving saying that I had been going too fast in heavy traffic and swurving in and out of lanes. I was just thankful I didn't get a DUI, and took the ticket.

So, the next year rolls around. We decide to go back to Key West and rent the scooters for a week again. I get my scooter and am touring around the island. I blew through a stop sign. 10 seconds later a cop is right behind me. Then, it hit me. I never paid the ticket from the year before. The cop tells me I ran a stop sign and asks for my license. I told him I didn't have it on me because I was getting ready to go to the beach. He asked me my name. I gave him my friends name. He asked me my address. I gave him my parents address at home (don't know why...I'm stupid). He pulled up parents information and found my name listed. He then found the outstanding ticket. He told me he was going to take me straight to the police station. I had to write a check, money order, or cash to the police station for last year's ticket, or he'd arrest me. I didn't have any money on me, it was back at the hotel. I knew my friends probably wouldn't be too fond of me bringing a police officer back to our hotel room :pimp: :pimp: , so I did what every college student would do. I called my Dad. I told him that I lost my wallet (all of these lies eventually came back to bite me in the ass, BTW) and that I needed some money wired to me. I gave him the address to wire it to (the KWPD address). I told him I only needed $155 (the cost of the ticket--he didn't know that) and that I'd get by on that for the rest of the week. He wired the money. What I didn't know is that once he wired it, Western Union gives you a receipt with where you wired the money to. He found out he wired $155 to the police station shortly after sending it. I paid the fine thinking I was home free and released. My Dad called the hotel shortly after and chewed my butt. I admitted to what happened. He told me to grow up and start telling the truth. I told him the truth was, if I had gone back to my hotel room with a cop, all of us would have been thrown in jail for a long, long time. That didn't seem to resolve the issue for some reason.

Both trips I was a complete idiot from the time I left campus until I got back to school. I should have been arrested probably 10 times each trip. Man, I got lucky.

creek14
02-12-2007, 05:56 PM
Good Lord.

Someone needs to merge this thread with the IQ thread...

Johnny Footstool
02-12-2007, 06:08 PM
It was a drunken high school night, and I did a bunch of stupid things in a row:

1) I'm sitting in my friend's car in a movie theater parking lot. A carload of guys drive by, and one of the girls my friend is trying to pick up on calls them a nasty name. They yell at me, for some reason, and I'm just drunk enough to start yelling back. (LESSON: Don't let someone else start a fight for you.)

2) They proceed to pull around next to the car. I grab the only weapon I can find: a small ratchet wrench. One of the guys gets out of the other car and I go to meet him. He asks if I'm going to hit him with that little weapon, and I say "I don't need a weapon to take care of you" and throw it back in the car. (LESSON: Never let someone talk you into disarming yourself.)

3) We jaw for a while until security comes over and tells us to break it up. We get back into our cars, and he drives off. A few seconds later, he drives back and asks if I still want to fight. I say yes. (LESSON: Once the cops give you an out, take it.)

4) We pull around behind the theater and get out of our cars. Again, we start jawing. I take my wallet out and turn around to hand it to my friend. As I turn back, I get sucker punched. (LESSON: Never let yourself get sucker punched.)

5) The dude's first punch knocks me down and knocks out a contact lens, so I'm basically blind and on the ground getting my tail kicked. Instead of simply covering up, I start taunting the guy -- "you hit like a girl." He gets mad and starts hitting like a guy -- a strong guy with big fists. (LESSON: Cover up before you start taunting the guy who's sitting on your chest whaling on you.)

6) The guy finally gets tired, gets off my chest, and starts to leave. I sit up, shake out the cobwebs, then go walking after him. "Is that all you've got?" I slur. He stops and turns. I clock him in the eye, one good, straight shot. I laugh, and he jumps on top of me again. (LESSON: Don't ever, ever just throw one punch.) Luckily, I remember to cover up this time, so he can't hurt me while I taunt him.

wheels
02-12-2007, 07:29 PM
I accidently used preperation H instead of toothpaste.

That wasn't very long ago, either.

I can still taste it.

TeamCasey
02-12-2007, 07:52 PM
I accidently used preperation H instead of toothpaste.

That wasn't very long ago, either.

I can still taste it.

Sinus medication mistaken for eye drops. I think I was in a baseball chat when I did that.

One time in high school, my friends and I were up in a treehouse drinking. One of my friends left ........ but forgot it was a treehouse. Walked right out the door.

Most of my stupid things involve barns, electric fences and sleds tied to snowmobiles. I'd do those all over again, to be young again. :)


Smartest thing to do when you're caught doing stupid things - tell the truth! "Yeah sir, I did sneak in the movie in the trunk." "Yes, I did skip school yesterday." "Yes, I did shoplift that strawberry Bonne Bell lip gloss." etc. Never called my mom. Never took me to the hooskow.

The only time I remembered lying to my mom was, "What marijuana paraphenalia?"

registerthis
02-12-2007, 08:02 PM
Cripes, my car story sounds tame compared to some of this stuff.

What a bunch of silly degenerates we have on this board. :)

deltachi8
02-12-2007, 08:57 PM
well, there was that whole got married thing...

paintmered
02-12-2007, 08:59 PM
well, there was that whole got married thing...

Is that related to your avatar?

GAC
02-12-2007, 09:00 PM
I can't recall any at this very moment. I'll have to get back with you.

GAC
02-12-2007, 09:03 PM
Either that, or uttering the line "if you take him to jail, you'll have to take us all".

Reminds me of what Ron White said.... "The cop said I had the right to remain silent. Unfortunately I didn't have the ability." :lol:

Heath
02-12-2007, 10:23 PM
I can't recall any at this very moment. I'll have to get back with you.

Post of the Year!

:bash: :jump: :owned: :ughmamoru :dancingco :fineprint

vaticanplum
02-12-2007, 10:29 PM
Oh my god I love these stories.

RedFanAlways1966
02-12-2007, 10:33 PM
Here's a good one for the guitar players out there...

About 6 years ago. I went to Cincy to play a small gig at a party. The bass player in our group lives in Kettering which is right by me. I told him that I'd pick him up and give him a ride since he likes to drink while we play (and I do not drink). Our equipment, other than our guitars, were already in Cincy at the house we were playing. Therefore, I brought two guitars and he had two basses. We played the gig and had a great time.

I put our guitars in the trunk of my car. I had to put his basses in first since they have larger cases and it was the only way to get all 4 guitars to fit in the trunk. When we got back to his house around 3:30 am, I pulled my guitars out to get his basses. We chatted for a bit in his driveway and then I got into the car to head home. As I started backing up in his driveway... I went about 10 feet and heard a boom. I thought I had hit a kid's toy or something. I pulled forward a few feet, got out and realized that I had forgotten to put one of my guitars back in the trunk when I saw a case laying there. I had set it about 10 feet back from the car so that I would not kick it over when getting his basses out (taking care of my precious baby).

I opened the case to check and make sure it was okay. Being dark it looked okay at first glance. I pulled it out of the case and saw that the strings were all dangling off the guitar. I then realized that I had snapped the headstock off of the neck and it was hanging only by the strings. Serious wood damage and beyond repair without replacing the entire neck/headstock. A very nice 1994 sunburst Gibson Custom Nighthawk... my main axe at the time and no longer produced by Gibson. I wanted to cry and kick myself. I have always been obsessive about caring for all my musical equipment and then I do something so stupid... run over my own guitar! I had to blow $1,200 a few days later for a Les Paul to get over it.

Dom Heffner
02-12-2007, 11:16 PM
Here's one I was a witness to.

My cousin went to Anderson High School, and they were playing Withrow High School in football. We drove over to Withrow to watch the game.

Afterwards, we were waiting with everybody else in traffic, stuck at a stop light. My cousin was watching the reflection of the traffic light in the opposite direction and when he saw it turn yellow, he rolled down the window and yelled- without telling me he was going to do it- at a group of African-American kids, "Hey guys, are you going to do some break dancing for us?"

What happened next is always foggy, but there are some things I'll never forget.

One- the light that turned yellow and then red only led to a left hand turn signal for the traffic next to us and we were going straight, so we were left at the light like sitting ducks.

Two, one of the guys indicated that he was going to perform my cousin's request all over our faces. I believe the exact quote was, "I'm going to break dance all over your f---ing face."

Thirdly, one of the kids hit my 1978 Chevy Nova so hard with his hand on the driver's side that I could see the palm print for months after that, even with repeated washings.

My cousin was a bright kid, he just didn't have any foresight. Nor tolerance for people who looked different than him.

HumnHilghtFreel
02-13-2007, 12:04 AM
Back before I had my license, my dad would always ask me to move the cars parked behind his in the driveway so he could get out. Well, one day I decided it would be fun to punch it when I was pulling back into the driveway. When I floored the gas pedal, something happened with the line and the pedal stuck, so I was flying up my driveway, and I realized it so I was slamming on the brakes and quickly tried to throw on the E-brake. I stopped before any serious damage was done, but I had scraped the side of our house and took out the right headlight as it rammed into our camper's trailer-hitch.

My parents didn't let me get my license until I turned 18.

HumnHilghtFreel
02-13-2007, 12:19 AM
Another one of mine.

In school one day, a friend and I were just messing around and I did something stupid in front of the class that said friend dared me to do. The teacher says to me: "If so and so tells you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?"

Well, we had open lunch at my school, so we could go off campus. So that question from the teacher gave us an idea. Lets use our lunch period, drive to the nearest bridge and jump in. We get there with a few spectators, plummet a good 30-40 feet into the water, drive back to school soaking wet. I went back to the teacher's classroom and said "yes I would."

The stunt also cost us our open lunch privileges for the rest of the year, but there were only a few weeks left in the year and it's a good story to tell now.

Caseyfan21
02-13-2007, 12:27 AM
Another one of mine.

In school one day, a friend and I were just messing around and I did something stupid in front of the class that said friend dared me to do. The teacher says to me: "If so and so tells you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?"

Well, we had open lunch at my school, so we could go off campus. So that question from the teacher gave us an idea. Lets use our lunch period, drive to the nearest bridge and jump in. We get there with a few spectators, plummet a good 30-40 feet into the water, drive back to school soaking wet. I went back to the teacher's classroom and said "yes I would."

The stunt also cost us our open lunch privileges for the rest of the year, but there were only a few weeks left in the year and it's a good story to tell now.

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

That's awesome. Losing the privileges was definitely worth it.

Caseyfan21
02-13-2007, 12:36 AM
The driving ones are always so easy. The second winter after I got my license, there was a pretty nasty storm but for some reason my school didn't give us a delay or the day off. We were one of the few schools without one. Well my dad told me not to take a back way through the country roads that was faster. But I was running late for school and I did it anyways. I was going around a sharp bend and put it right off the road. I managed to swerve away from a fence but I landed in a pretty nasty ditch. Some of the guys behind me stopped and tried to push me out while I gunned it but I was stuck really well. A cop came and tried to give me a ticket but he couldn't because I was obeying all the laws, just hit a slick spot and slid. The look on the cops face after he walked around looking at my tire tracks was priceless...he just sort of frowned and said "I can't give you a ticket so I guess I'll get going." And he drove off and left me there. The car ended up having a bent frame and I had to pay the insurance deductible on it but at least I didn't get banned from driving or anything. Paying only the deductible, I got off pretty easy compared to some of these other stories.

My sister's driving habits would have won her scores of awards for this thread. She hit the red post next to the gas pump shortly after getting her license and didn't tell my parents. When my dad noticed red paint on the bumper she denied it like nothing had happened until finally admitting it. She's a compulsive liar when she gets in trouble. When she was little she got the Barbie that you could cut its hair. Long story short she decided to cut her own hair. My parents asked her how that happened and she played stupid even acting shocked when they put her in front of a mirror. That story still is a family favorite, her looking in the mirror and saying "How did my hair get cut?"

kbrake
02-13-2007, 01:00 AM
In high school my friend had a Jeep Cherokee. We lived in an area that had lots of trees. And people would rake their leaves to the road in pile and then they would be picked up. Well we loved to go around at night and drive through these piles. Then we found the biggest leaf pile ever. It was unreal. We drove through it once on a Friday night and the leaves were up over the hood of the Jeep we could barely see through them all.

Well we went back and did it again on Saturday. As we went around the block to hit the pile again my friend hit the brakes to go around the turn. As we started to get close to the the pile again someone noticed smoke coming from underneath the Jeep. My friend pulled it into a drive and we all got out. The leaves had got stuck up in the Jeep and the heat from the brakes had started a little fire. Well two fire trucks later we sat there in disbelief as we watched the Jeep burn to pretty much nothing. To top it off we had to listen to neighbors from the street come out and cuss us up and down for hitting all their leaf piles. Ah good times.

George Foster
02-13-2007, 01:03 AM
As most of you know, if you put a themble size of pure sodium in water, it will smoke and cause a "pop."

Inbetween classes in high school, I thought I would be cool and while the teacher was in the hall way, I filled his science teacher sink/desk with water and placed a softball size piece of sodium in the water. He walked back in at about the same time. The whole sink/desk started to rumble and shake. He said, " oh no......take cover!" When it "popped" it sounded like a shotgun going off in the room. It cracked the sink/desk right down the middle and the fire alarm went off. The entire high school had to exit the school, when the fire dept. came.

I was suspended for 3 days and had to pay for the desk. $900.00
I lost the use of my car for 2 months and got my last butt kicking with a belt from my father at age 16...I deserved it.

When I go to high school games today, former teachers still bring it up...good times:thumbup:

George Foster
02-13-2007, 01:17 AM
I visited my freshman roommate for the week in Charlston S.C. after our first year of college. I was in the car with him and 2 of his buddies at about 2am.
We had consumed several adult beverages and they pulled off a two lane road while we were over a bridge. They all proceded to jump off the bridge into the river!! The freakin river!! I was standing looking over the bridge. It was so far down I could not see them only could hear them. They were calling me the slang word for the female genitalia. Over and over again. I was at a crossroads in my life. Do I give in to peer pressure and jump or get back in the car? Remember if I was going to jump, I would be jumping into a black hole, I could not see the bottom. Being 19 and wanting the approval of my peers....I jumped. I remember thinking, "oh God...what it I land on top of them? What if I land face first? I hit the water so hard it bruised the bottom of my feet. I shot down to the bottom of the river like a rocket. My feet hit the bottom, the water pressure burst one of my ear drums. It took FOREVER to reach the top of the water. IF YOU LOOK UP STUPID IN WEBSTERS....THERE WILL BE A REFERENCE TO THIS EVENT!!

Johnny Footstool
02-13-2007, 01:30 AM
The best kind of stupidity is the kind you witness from afar.

We went to the Kansas/Missouri football game a couple of years ago. Of course there's a big pregame tailgate party, but the stadium has a very small parking lot, so you've got to park in the tiny, crowded streets and lawns surrounding the stadium. Hence, there is nowhere to dump your trash or, more importantly, the hot charcoal from your grill.

After KU won the game, we drove to a local microbrewery to celebrate and have dinner. It was pretty packed, but my wife spotted a parking space near the entrance. As we got closer, I noticed that the empty space was next to a Chevy Blazer that had what seemed like an unnatural amount of black smoke pouring out of it. I decided to park in the back of the lot.

By the time we walked to the door of the microbrewery, the smoke was pretty much filling the air. As we walked inside, the manager came running out with a fire exinguisher. It didn't help.

The fire department arrived about 10 minutes later. A fireman smashed the back window of the Blazer, and all the glass and rubber window seal were sucked inside the cab like a vacuum. Then flames shot out. Lots and lots of flames.

The firemen hosed down the inside of the Blazer and got everything under control. A few of us went out to look inside the car and saw the remains of a Weber grill still standing upright (it had melted to the floorboard).

Apparently, some kid decided it was OK to simply take his hot coals along with him after the game. I can imagine him telling his friends, "Let's stop for a beer while the grill cools off."

I can also imagine him calling his dad later on. "Hey Dad, remember that grill you bought me? Well, I'm going to need a new one. Oh yeah, and a new Blazer, too."

GAC
02-13-2007, 10:06 AM
Define "stupid"? :p:

Red Leader
02-13-2007, 10:11 AM
Define "stupid"? :p:

http://www.pyzam.com/funnypix/stupid/st4.jpg

or

http://mischiefbox.com/blog/uploads/outnumbered.jpg

minus5
02-13-2007, 11:54 AM
Once in high school a group of my friends decided to "kidnap" another one of my friends who I was with at the time. So they drive up in my friend's dad's car, grab my buddy and throw him in the back of the car in a mock kidnapping. Playing along, I ran and jumped on the back of the car as he pulled away. The driver didn't realize I was on the back. He drive a few blocks and then hits the two lane highway in our town and then guns it to about 50 or so. I quickly realized that there was nothing on this car to hold on to but the channel for the back window, I can't knock on the window because I need both of my hands so they still have no idea I am back there. A few more blocks and he turn back onto the side streets, which was good because he could only get to around 35 or so safely. Finally we get back to where it all started and he slams on his breaks I fly above the car and land on my back the hood of the car and cracking the winshield, scaring the hell out of the guys in the car who at that moment now realized on was on the car. What was even more stupid was that it was not the first or last time I'd jump on a moving car.

This is why I'm scared to death of what my kids are doing. I'm always praying, Please don't be as freakin' nuts as your dad was.

zombie-a-go-go
02-13-2007, 12:18 PM
Okay, I've got one -

Coming back from an after-hours club my friend and I were pretty wasted, and when I say 'wasted' I mean inebriated, and when I say 'pretty' I mean completely. We're both waiters and both work a split-shift tomorrow, so we decide to crash at his apartment and just go to work together in the morning - and when I say 'the morning' I mean '~3 hours.'

So anyway, he lives in a completely residential suburbia area, all the streets laid out in perfect little squares with alternating stop signs at every intersection; very 50s. It's silent and dark, and he decides to gun the engine of his lil' BMW to see how fast we can get going down these streets.

We hit 30... 40... 60... 80... intersections, yards, parked cars are flying past in the blink of an eye and we reach the street he lives on much quicker than anticipated - the thing is, the street he lives on is a "T" intersection and we're coming at it from the perpendicular direction.

So we curse, slam on the brakes, and wind up skidding straight into some poor sap's garage, wrecking the front end of the beamer, the back end of the car parked in the garage - oh, and the quaint little wooden garage door itself.

The decision is made to do what any other frightened, drunken, irrational pair of young men would do - flee the scene of the crime. Of course, we simply drive down some four houses, park the BMW in the garage, stagger to the apartment and pass out.

Come morning we're awakened by some rather loud rapping on the door and, lo and behold, it's the police. Seems they've come to investigate the scene of the crime. My friend says 'oh no, wasn't me, have no idea what you're talking about.'

Alas, the accident had ruptured a seal or something in the beamer, and we left a trail of motor oil from the scene of the accident right to the garage where the car was parked, four doors down, and at that point I had to call my girl for a ride to work because my friend was going down to the station.

Bailed him out after the second half of my split with my tips from the evening, and we took a cab to go drinking.

I'm not certain which part of this story qualifies as the stupid part, but I'm willing to take on faith that it's in there somewhere.

Johnny Footstool
02-13-2007, 12:48 PM
I'm not certain which part of this story qualifies as the stupid part, but I'm willing to take on faith that it's in there somewhere.

It's right here:


Bailed him out after the second half of my split with my tips from the evening, and we took a cab to go drinking.

You wasted your tip money bailing him out. You could have gotten twice as plastered if you would have just left him in jail.

Puffy
02-13-2007, 01:17 PM
The day before Halloween after I left college (notice I didn't say graduated from college, although at this point it was 4 years of college) we were sitting drinking at Happy Hour. I wasn't planning on doing anything that Friday night cause Halloween was Saturday and I was having a costume party at my house that night so I thought I'd take it easy and not make plans.

So while at Happy hour my buddy talks me into going with him and a couple other people up to Oswego to his old frat house cause they were having a halloween party. Said we could crash up there at the frat house and come back Saturday. I decided to do this.

Now I had already had 2 of those 23 ounce beers and I drove home and changed and waited for my friends to come and pick me up to drive to Oswego (about an hour from Syracuse). While home I open up another beer and then my friends get there and I bring the remaining 5 beers for the trip up there (for everyone). Turns out no one wanted a beer so I drank another. And another. And yet another. Anyway, I finished off the six pack (less one - one friend had one) by the time we got to the frat house. Now its already 9 O'Clock at night and I don't know Oswego. This becomes relevant later.

Anyway, I obviously kept drinking. And drinking. I believe it was a fun time, although I have no recollection of most of this. But 12:30 rolls around and the party has wound down as college parties do because most people wanted to hit the bars for a bit. They ask me if I want to go and I mumble no and they tell me to hang there, go to sleep, rest up, whatever. I will spare you all the details of my adventure in someone's closet (and no, not a sex/gay reference but rather a drinking related emoting of some kind).

I decide I need some air - so I don't emote anywhere else. So I go outside and walk around a little. I decide I am feeling better and try to go back to the frat house only I have no idea where I am. I see some people on the street and ask them directions but since I don't know the name of the frat they are no help. So I walk from house to house searching for the frat I am supposed to be at but for the life of me I can't find it. I was seriously walking up to residental house and looking in windows. Luckily everyone was asleep or peeping tom here I come.

I continue to walk and ask anyone I see where the frat house is and me telling them its the one with the halloween party helps not. I finally spot a bar. I walked in and asked them where the frat house was but they have no clue (it was a corner bar with old, teethless men, not a college bar). So I tell the bartender I need a cab. He says OK, he'll call me one and where am I going. I tell him to Syracuse. He said he'd see what he could do. While I slept on the bar he found me a cab and the cabbie came in, woke me up and we proceeded to the cab. He told me the price ($50) and said he'd wake me up when we got to Syracuse.

My friend spent the better part of the night looking for me in Oswego before finally giving up. Of course, when he called my house the next day and I answered he laughed his ass off asking me how the heck I got there.

Puffy
02-13-2007, 01:24 PM
Okay, I've got one -



How bout that time after the gathering where you grabbed the phonebook and called an escort service and told her to meet you at that bar we were going to and then when she showed you hid from her.

KronoRed
02-13-2007, 02:06 PM
http://mischiefbox.com/blog/uploads/outnumbered.jpg

I love this picture, sneak has no fear..he's the man.

zombie-a-go-go
02-13-2007, 02:16 PM
How bout that time after the gathering where you grabbed the phonebook and called an escort service and told her to meet you at that bar we were going to and then when she showed you hid from her.

Obviously if I had let her catch a glimpse of me she would have been driven into a frenzied state of lust, captured me, forced me to do things board-inappropriate to her, and then somewhere along the line her pimp would have made me give him my beer money. And w/o beer money, what would we have found to occupy ourselves for the next 48 hours, Mr, Wizard?

I was taking one for the team, boyo. You should be thanking me for my discretion.

...

Waitasec.... I called the escort service? :help:

redsmetz
02-13-2007, 02:40 PM
Okay, total moron story and I'm thankful to this day that nothing tragic happened, but I was at a bar about three blocks from my apartment. We'd had a good amount and I left with my friends. I knew I'd had too much to drink so I was going to walk home. As we're standing along the back fence of this establishment visiting the boy's room, a cop pulls into the parking lot.

Worried about what the cops going to think of me walking home stinking drunk, I climb in to my car and head home. Why he never stopped me, I don't know. All I know is I don't remember the last block and a half and again, to this day, I'm glad nothing terrible happened, but that was incredibly stupid.

On a less dangerous note (although again I'm lucky I'm alive), I did comment to a friend of mine who was wearing one of those 'moo moo' type dresses that I didn't know she was pregnant. That was during my "young and stupid" phase and I've never made that mistake again. I won't comment anymore until I actually see the baby!

Johnny Footstool
02-13-2007, 03:53 PM
Shockingly, a high percentage of these stories begin with "I had been drinking..."

registerthis
02-13-2007, 04:39 PM
Shockingly, a high percentage of these stories begin with "I had been drinking..."

Well, let's face it, "I had been studying..." or "I had been reading..." just doesn't lend itself much to stupidness or craziness.

Red Leader
02-13-2007, 04:51 PM
I came into work today.

Roy Tucker
02-13-2007, 05:01 PM
Shockingly, a high percentage of these stories begin with "I had been drinking..."


There are a whole string of other Roy stories that start with:

"so how fast does this thing go?"

"when does your husband get home?"

"sure I love you baby"

"is there gas in that chainsaw?"

"I think that fuse is long enough"

"kerosene, hell, let's use gasoline"

vaticanplum
02-13-2007, 05:37 PM
On a less dangerous note (although again I'm lucky I'm alive), I did comment to a friend of mine who was wearing one of those 'moo moo' type dresses that I didn't know she was pregnant.

:bowrofl:

Muumuu, redsmetz, it's called a MUUMUU. I think it's Hawaiian origin. I've never seen anybody mix that up with a cow sound before, and I don't know why; it makes so much sense! That is priceless!

pedro
02-13-2007, 05:40 PM
I got locked in the Library at OU once. I had never been there at closing time and didn't know what the bells meant. I came down from the top floor to a dark library and had to call campus security to let me out.

BillDoran
02-13-2007, 07:30 PM
I was studying abroad in Augsburg, Germany. One night we, myself and five other Americans, decide to take the hour train trip to Munich to go out and do some partying in the Home of Beer. We leave after classes end and arrive in Munich by four o'clock. We bee-line directly to the Hoffbrahaus and begin consuming liters of Dunkel. After the entire group of us, girls included had finished five liters (I really believe they had five, though it seems physiologically impossible to me now), we were escorted out of the Hoffbrahaus for breaking the giant mugs due to excessively exburant "Probst"ing.

We hit the mean streets of Munich, and all go our seperate ways. Myself and one of the girls are in search of the most authentic German bar possible. We have a few more beers at random bars, and the next thing I know I'm in the streets lost and alone. I jump on the first bus I see thinking the destination sounds familiar. I ride the bus to the end of the line, when the bus drivers motions to me that this is his last stop and to get off. So, now I am stranded on the outskirts of the city, in an area with very little traffic. I decide to take a nap, right there on the sidewalk. The nap didn't last long, but I wake up confused and blurry-eyed. I decide I will take a cab back to my dorm room. I flag down a cab and begin giving him directions back to the dorm, which we can't find. Then I continue to give him directions to other places I'm familiar with, only for him to say he'd never heard of these places. After a 50 Euro cab ride, five cigarettes he'd bummed me (I don't smoke), and a request to stop trying to speak German because I was "insulting the language", I'm exhausted and request him to take me back to the Hauptbahnhof (the generic term for the main train station in any city) Upon arriving at the train station I realize I'm in Munich, Germany and not Augsberg as I had been giving him directions to.
I board the next train back to Augsberg. Upon boarding the train, the first person I see is Laura, the girl who I'd been seperated from earlier. We both share our stories, pass back out, only to wake up in Stuttgart, two hours beyond our destination. We eat McDonalds breakfast jump back on a train, and make it back just in time for class at 8am.

Yachtzee
02-13-2007, 09:04 PM
I was studying abroad in Augsburg, Germany. One night we, myself and five other Americans, decide to take the hour train trip to Munich to go out and do some partying in the Home of Beer. We leave after classes end and arrive in Munich by four o'clock. We bee-line directly to the Hoffbrahaus and begin consuming liters of Dunkel. After the entire group of us, girls included had finished five liters (I really believe they had five, though it seems physiologically impossible to me now), we were escorted out of the Hoffbrahaus for breaking the giant mugs due to excessively exburant "Probst"ing.

We hit the mean streets of Munich, and all go our seperate ways. Myself and one of the girls are in search of the most authentic German bar possible. We have a few more beers at random bars, and the next thing I know I'm in the streets lost and alone. I jump on the first bus I see thinking the destination sounds familiar. I ride the bus to the end of the line, when the bus drivers motions to me that this is his last stop and to get off. So, now I am stranded on the outskirts of the city, in an area with very little traffic. I decide to take a nap, right there on the sidewalk. The nap didn't last long, but I wake up confused and blurry-eyed. I decide I will take a cab back to my dorm room. I flag down a cab and begin giving him directions back to the dorm, which we can't find. Then I continue to give him directions to other places I'm familiar with, only for him to say he'd never heard of these places. After a 50 Euro cab ride, five cigarettes he'd bummed me (I don't smoke), and a request to stop trying to speak German because I was "insulting the language", I'm exhausted and request him to take me back to the Hauptbahnhof (the generic term for the main train station in any city) Upon arriving at the train station I realize I'm in Munich, Germany and not Augsberg as I had been giving him directions to.
I board the next train back to Augsberg. Upon boarding the train, the first person I see is Laura, the girl who I'd been seperated from earlier. We both share our stories, pass back out, only to wake up in Stuttgart, two hours beyond our destination. We eat McDonalds breakfast jump back on a train, and make it back just in time for class at 8am.

Other than the 5 liters of beer (not just beer, but that is a lot of liquid to drink in one sitting), that sounds about right for a crazy German drinking experience. At least when you took a nap on the sidewalk, it was clean, right? I could tell you some stories of some crazy stuff after a couple liters of bock beer, if only I could remember anything.