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M2
02-16-2007, 07:17 PM
I've long believed Juan Castro is a menace to society, but I now have irrefutable evidence of it. We all know that Castro's emergence as a major leaguer coincided with a run a bad luck for the Dodgers. We also know what happened to the Reds franchise after he showed up the first time. Yet let's look at his stop with the Twins and his recent return to the Reds.

The Twins have made the playoffs in four out of the last five seasons. The lone exception is 2005, the year Juan Castro finished the season with the team. Here's what the team did in 2002-2006 without Castro:

339-244, .581 winning %

And with Castro?

113-113, .500 winning %

But wait, there's more. The Reds last season without Castro:

37-29, .561 winning %

And with him:

43-53, .448 winning %

Juan Castro apparently has the ability to take a 90-win team and make it an also-ran. I'm sure there will be those who claim mitigating factors, but THERE ARE NO MITIGATING FACTORS. Juan Castro is a saboteur ... or an evil talisman ... or a succubus. Point is he's really bad and he exists solely for the purpose of destroying whatever baseball team it is that dares to bring him into its midst.

JaxRed
02-16-2007, 07:27 PM
We had a chance to take him out at the Bay of Pigs.

StillFunkyB
02-16-2007, 08:20 PM
Trade him to St. Louis.

I was gonna say Chicago, but that team is doomed anyway. :D

Redhook
02-16-2007, 08:23 PM
Pretty funny and definitely interesting.

By the way, good use of the word succubus. Succubus. It's fun to say.

Caveat Emperor
02-16-2007, 09:14 PM
Or, to put it another way (in case some of Juan's family or George Grande is reading):

Manos del Oro no tienne buena suerte.

RedsManRick
02-16-2007, 09:15 PM
Henceforth Juan Castro will be known as Succubus.

Highlifeman21
02-16-2007, 09:22 PM
Henceforth Juan Castro will be known as Succubus.

Make it so.

Marc D
02-16-2007, 09:37 PM
Henceforth Juan Castro will be known as Succubus.


Man law.

Wheelhouse
02-16-2007, 10:18 PM
If you're going to do that with Castro, look how Griffey has effected the Reds. Not that I buy into this logic at all...

Big Klu
02-16-2007, 10:20 PM
Pretty funny and definitely interesting.

By the way, good use of the word succubus. Succubus. It's fun to say.

But isn't a succubus female? I think the male version is an incubus.

Redhook
02-16-2007, 11:14 PM
But isn't a succubus female? I think the male version is an incubus.

You are correct sir! Since I had no clue what a succubus was, let alone if it is male or female I looked it up. Pleasant thoughts:


In Western medieval legend, a succubus (plural succubi) is a demon who takes the form of a female to seduce men (especially monks) in dreams to have sexual intercourse. They draw energy from the men to sustain themselves, often until the point of exhaustion or death of the victim.

According to the Malleus Maleficarum, or "Witches' Hammer", succubi would collect semen from the men they slept with, which incubi would then use to impregnate women. Children so begotten were supposed to be more susceptible to the influence of demons.

In some beliefs the succubi would morph into the Incubus with its newly collected semen ready to impregnate their victims. This was to account for the fact that demons could not reproduce naturally, however the incubus could impregnate women.

Also of note:


From the 16th century, the carving of a succubus on the outside of an inn indicated that the establishment also operated as a brothel.

Interesting stuff.

I just looked up incubus too since I just had to know:


In Western medieval legend, an incubus (plural incubi) is a demon in male form supposed to lie upon sleepers, especially women, in order to have sexual intercourse with them. They are also believed to do this in order to spawn other incubi. The incubus drains energy from the woman it performs sexual intercourse upon in order to sustain itself. In most cases it either kills the victim or leaves the victim in very weak or fragile condition.[citation needed] A female version was called a succubus.

I still like the word succubus better, but according to their meaning it would be more appropriate to call Juan Incubus. Nah, let's stick with Succubus. :evil:

Chip R
02-16-2007, 11:31 PM
Juan Castro is a saboteur ... or an evil talisman ... or a succubus.



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sunshine the find to chance a have We
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after morning a be to got There's
Warm and safe that's...

Yachtzee
02-17-2007, 12:01 AM
Juan Castro, Agent Provocateur?

GAC
02-17-2007, 03:00 AM
If you're going to do that with Castro, look how Griffey has effected the Reds. Not that I buy into this logic at all...

Griffey is a poltergeist. :mooner:

StillFunkyB
02-17-2007, 06:14 AM
Maybe the Reds organization is the Succubi, sucking all the life out of everything and leaving it in a very weak or fragile condition ;)

Raisor
02-17-2007, 07:20 AM
If Juan is a incubus, we need to call Buffy. Quick.

Yachtzee
02-17-2007, 11:09 AM
Maybe Juan isn't a succubus or an incubus, but rather a Hecubus!

http://www.geocities.com/barbarella_goodess/hypnosis2.jpg