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GAC
02-25-2007, 05:20 AM
Either husband or wife. Vent it people! And pray your spouse never reads this forum. :mooner:

My wife and I will celebrate our 25th anniversary this June. And I don't know what I'd do, or imagine my life, without her (and the kids). I wouldn't have it any other way.

But every spouse puts up with habits or quirks. I certainly know my wife does. Like having to drive me to the ER every once in awhile, knowing first aid - like putting direct pressure on a wound, CPR, "roll Daddy around till the flames go out". ;)

So what are some of yours?

My wife is.....

- a clean freak. In fact, she doesn't clean, she STERILIZES! She could have cleaned Chernobyl up in about 2 days and never left a trace of a radioactive germ. And with three teenagers she's beating her head against the wall a lot. Since we both work, Saturday is "cleaning day". The kids dread it. The woman turns into a Marine drill Sgt. Me? I run and hide! I tell the kids it's every man for himself. And since she's your Mom (not mine) do what she says.

- a fanatic about her oral hygiene. The woman has more dental tools in our bathroom then I have out in the garage. And whether we're sitting in the bed or out in the living room watching TV, she's always flossing.

- laundry has to be folded and stored a certain way. Towels and wash clothes have to be tri-folded, and when placed in the linen closets they all must be stacked and facing in the same direction. I remember when we use to have to do that in boot camp.

- Takes forever in the bathroom. Me? I came from a military background where they gave you 15 minutes to "sh**, shower, and shave".

And to those ladies that do your nails - what's with that nail polish remover that smells/stinks up the house so bad? Gives me one terrible headache. Have you built up some sort of tolerance to it or something?

SunDeck
02-25-2007, 09:25 AM
Treating the van like a closet.
Laundry- washes, dries, folds, then leaves it in the laundry basket. When I do the laundry I put everything away where it belongs.
Dishes- like laundry- seems to think the dishes she washes by hand belong in the sink. I dry them and put them back where they belong.

RANDY IN INDY
02-25-2007, 09:35 AM
Expects me to read her mind. I have never been much good at that, although I am better than I used to be. 20 years definitely helps in that area.

oneupper
02-25-2007, 09:52 AM
GAC - I'm with you on the "forever bathroom". I would add that she is always in there when there is a phone call - for her!
(And you can't say "she's taking a dump...she'll call you back later').

The nail thing, also. But she knows how much that bothers me, so she'll do her nails when I'm not around.

Other annoying things"

Sleeping in on the weekends. I'm usually raring to go at 7:30 am the latest (in more ways than one).
She'll linger in bed until midday if given the chance.

My wife will always be the LAST one out to the car when we go out as a couple or a family. She will not wait for me or someone else to get ready.
If someone's not ready, she'll find something else to do to make sure we all wait for her. (We are often late for this reason).

My wife has no sense of time or how long things take. So she (or we) end up late sometimes (which I hate). The people who arrive when they're shutting down a certain attraction - that's us.

This is all minor stuff. The good outweighs the bad by a TON. We'll be celebrating our 20th this year.

vaticanplum
02-25-2007, 12:35 PM
- a fanatic about her oral hygiene. The woman has more dental tools in our bathroom then I have out in the garage. And whether we're sitting in the bed or out in the living room watching TV, she's always flossing.

She's probably nice to kiss :D

KittyDuran
02-25-2007, 06:11 PM
Either husband or wife. Vent it people! And pray your spouse never reads this forum. :mooner:

My wife and I will celebrate our 25th anniversary this June. And I don't know what I'd do, or imagine my life, without her (and the kids). I wouldn't have it any other way.

But every spouse puts up with habits or quirks. I certainly know my wife does. Like having to drive me to the ER every once in awhile, knowing first aid - like putting direct pressure on a wound, CPR, "roll Daddy around till the flames go out". ;)

So what are some of yours?

My wife is.....

- a clean freak. In fact, she doesn't clean, she STERILIZES! She could have cleaned Chernobyl up in about 2 days and never left a trace of a radioactive germ. And with three teenagers she's beating her head against the wall a lot. Since we both work, Saturday is "cleaning day". The kids dread it. The woman turns into a Marine drill Sgt. Me? I run and hide! I tell the kids it's every man for himself. And since she's your Mom (not mine) do what she says.

- a fanatic about her oral hygiene. The woman has more dental tools in our bathroom then I have out in the garage. And whether we're sitting in the bed or out in the living room watching TV, she's always flossing.

- laundry has to be folded and stored a certain way. Towels and wash clothes have to be tri-folded, and when placed in the linen closets they all must be stacked and facing in the same direction. I remember when we use to have to do that in boot camp.

- Takes forever in the bathroom. Me? I came from a military background where they gave you 15 minutes to "sh**, shower, and shave".

And to those ladies that do your nails - what's with that nail polish remover that smells/stinks up the house so bad? Gives me one terrible headache. Have you built up some sort of tolerance to it or something?Your wife sounds like a younger version of my Mom. The good news? She'll grow out of it (well sort of)... The bad news? It'll take 35 years and the kids out of the house to do it! :devil: (BTW, my parents will celebrate 49 years together August 21st :beerme:)

GAC
02-25-2007, 07:21 PM
Your wife sounds like a younger version of my Mom. The good news? She'll grow out of it (well sort of)

We're in our early 50's. How much more "growing out of it" does the woman need??


Expects me to read her mind. I have never been much good at that, although I am better than I used to be. 20 years definitely helps in that area.

What? You're not a mind reader Randy? Shame on you. :lol:

I think my wife purposely talks in a low voice when addressing me, and then says "Did you hear what I said?"

The woman has the eyesight of an eagle. We'll all be sitting around in the living room and she'll exclaim "What's that over there on the floor?" The kids and I will be be staring and looking, but don't see a thing. Wife - "What? Are you all blind?" She'll get up, walk over to that area of the floor and pick up a piece of lint smaller then an ant turd.

redsmetz
02-25-2007, 07:43 PM
I can't say. My son's on the board and he might rat me out.

We did celebrate 25 years in October though - I'm up with you folks (my folks just celebrated 57 this month and my in-laws have been married 61).

BTW, my list of hers would be significantly shorter than her lists of mine (and her's would be legitimate).

max venable
02-25-2007, 08:56 PM
I'll preface this by saying I love my wife. She's the best.

Now here's the annoying thing about her: She's always running late for stuff because she always thinks she has time to squeeze one more thing in before she leaves. Doesn't matter how much earlier she starts getting ready...she'll always be running late because she can't not stop adding things to her "to do" list. Even if she got ready early, she's not one who could just sit around and wait until it's time to go...she'd have to add another thing, thus ending up running late...again.

Yachtzee
02-25-2007, 09:04 PM
I love my wife, but a car is not a drivable purse.

GAC
02-25-2007, 09:19 PM
"Love is never having to say you're sorry"........

for breaking the garbage disposal because I didn't see that spoon in there, washing her underwear with your jeans, falling out of a tree, not putting the lid down, forgetting to put gas in her van, and a huge host of other idiosyncrasies that make me ME. :mooner:

GIK
02-25-2007, 10:24 PM
Sprawling out in bed, pushing me to one side because she likes "the middle". It's time to move to a King.

creek14
02-26-2007, 05:05 AM
He doesn't like sports.

Jpup
02-26-2007, 06:05 AM
He doesn't like sports.

:eek:

Ltlabner
02-26-2007, 07:45 AM
Mrs. Ltlabner is pretty good in that the few things she does that bug me are mostly my idocryacies rather than her doing something "legitamatley" irritating.

That said, being punctual is hard for her. It doesn't help that I consider 10 minutes early to be ontime while she consider ontime to be within 30 minutes after the designated time of arrival. It drives me bonkers!

In the early years I tried all of the tricks to try to help her be on time. But none of them worked. Once I started calmly saying, "I'm leaving at XYZ time, if you want to ride with me great, if not I'll see you there" she started getting serrious about being on time.

Slowly she's gotten better. Most times I just get ready, wait for her and if she isn't ready I go out and start the car to warm it up. After a minute or so she usually comes scurrying outside.

The only time this plan goes haywire if the appointment is very important and I express exactly what time I'd like to leave and that it's important we are on time. Then she seems to go into slow gear and pushes walking out the door to the last possible second.

GAC
02-26-2007, 07:54 AM
Sprawling out in bed, pushing me to one side because she likes "the middle". It's time to move to a King.

Won't work Matt. We got a king and that just gives her more domain to conquer. They're like huns when it comes to open territory. :p:

GAC
02-26-2007, 07:55 AM
He doesn't like sports.

My wife doesn't either. But she knows and understands that I do. And if she tried to change me she knows her contract would not be renewed. ;)

Roy Tucker
02-26-2007, 08:27 AM
He doesn't like sports.


My wife doesn't either. Hates 'em as a matter of fact.

Let me preface this with God bless my wife, I love her, and I would be a bum without her.

But there are 2 things she does that drive me nuts:

1.) Along with Randy's "read her mind", she expects for me to be able to hear what she is thinking about. I always have to stop and try to figure out the context of some seemingly random comment because she never establishes it.

2.) The second is she always takes the kitchen towels and throws them in the laundry and doesn't hang up new ones. So I'll wash my hands, turn to dry them with dripping hands, and there is no towel.

Ltlabner
02-26-2007, 08:50 AM
1.) Along with Randy's "read her mind", she expects for me to be able to hear what she is thinking about. I always have to stop and try to figure out the context of some seemingly random comment because she never establishes it

I dated a girl for a while who did this. Many arguments erupted because she simply didn't tell me what she was really thinking and expected me to figure it out.

As such, when Mrs Ltlabner and I started dating I made it clear from day 1 that (1) I am not a mind-reader (2) I am not a dective (3) any thought not expressed or statement left unsaid was null-and-void. If it wasn't important enough for her to say it, it wasn't important enough for me to consider it. It took a while to get my point across but with consistant application it worked great!

GAC
02-26-2007, 08:51 AM
2.) The second is she always takes the kitchen towels and throws them in the laundry and doesn't hang up new ones. So I'll wash my hands, turn to dry them with dripping hands, and there is no towel.

Start wiping your hands on the curtains..... she'll start remembering to put up fresh towels. :mooner:

Sweetstop
02-26-2007, 09:27 AM
After years of marriage it seems a reasonably bright and capable spouse SHOULD be able to intuit from past experience what the other is talking about.

I tend to expect this (as some above say their wives do), perhaps giving my husband more credit than he deserves.

Red Leader
02-26-2007, 09:35 AM
The one thing that irritates me and it has been discussed with her ad nauseum.

The car keys. Put them in the same place and we won't have to spend 10 minutes to an hour looking for them in the morning. I've tried everything. I bought a new wooden key ring holder just inside the garage door where we enter. Nope, walks right past it. I put a second key holder right by the kitchen (usually the first place she goes when coming home). Nope, that one doesn't get used either. Instead we get to play the "Do you remember what coat I wore yesterday?" game. If I don't remember what coat she was wearing, it's my fault? What's more fun is when we do locate yesterday's coat and the keys aren't in there. Then, the real hunt is on. My parents bought her one of those beeping car key locators. She won't use it.
I think she enjoys it. It's pure torture for me. It has been since the day we met.

:bang: :bang:

Ltlabner
02-26-2007, 09:53 AM
After years of marriage it seems a reasonably bright and capable spouse SHOULD be able to intuit from past experience what the other is talking about.

I tend to expect this (as some above say their wives do), perhaps giving my husband more credit than he deserves.

Actually, Mrs. Ltlabner and I will have been married for 5 years this May + another 2 years of dating and engagement. I usually do know what's she's thinking, or at least have a general idea. And usually I have a clue as to what she means when she makes some obscure comment. But I refuse to do the work for her. If it's important to her, she'll open her mouth and express what shes thinking. Not hint around and expect me to be a detective.

It's not really about being too stupid to figure out what she means, it's about her being too lazy to explain herself. Sorry gals (I'm sure this comes off as cold and callous) but if you don't care about something enough to simply vocalize it, I'm not going to do the work for you.

Classic example. Mrs Ltlabner is emotional and upset. I sincearly and gently say something like, "honey, you seem upset, is something wrong". If she replies "no, I'm fine" (dispite the tears, mascara running down her face and the sobbing) then I'm done. I'm not going to pry it out of you. Obviously there are exceptions to this. If her Dad died or something and she was upset a the next week I wouldn't be so harsh and would let her express what's she thinking when she's ready to. But if she's mearly had a bad day and doesn't want to talk about it, don't expect me to drag it out of you.

Roy Tucker
02-26-2007, 10:05 AM
After years of marriage it seems a reasonably bright and capable spouse SHOULD be able to intuit from past experience what the other is talking about.

I tend to expect this (as some above say their wives do), perhaps giving my husband more credit than he deserves.

After 22 years of marriage, we mostly laugh about it. I've gotten pretty good at figuring it out.

The thing is, it's not just the next logical step, it's pretty far down the path at step 5 or 6. It takes some looking around trying to figure out what the triggering mechanism is, try to remember if its anything we've talked about in the last 3 months, and then if its related. I can generally gestalt it fairly quickly and wind up saying "if you're talking about the blinds for the bathroom that we discussed at Christmas, then *yes*, plantation shades are my favorite too and yes, I can get to them this weekend"..

Although once in a while, I say "I'm sorry, I am utterly lost. I have no idea what you're talking about".

minus5
02-26-2007, 10:11 AM
After years of marriage it seems a reasonably bright and capable spouse SHOULD be able to intuit from past experience what the other is talking about.

I tend to expect this (as some above say their wives do), perhaps giving my husband more credit than he deserves.

I'm of the mind set that after years of marriage a bright and capable spouse should understand that the minds of a man and woman work differently. When my wife plays the stuff where I am supposed to keep asking what is the matter over and over (and she rarely does this anymore) I generally just go down to my family room, tell my son to come down with me and we watch TV and play until she is ready to be reasonable. I expect my wife to use reason and logic.

westofyou
02-26-2007, 10:32 AM
I expect my wife to use reason and logic.

The sun's coming up
She's pulling all the blankets over
Curled in a ball
Like she's hiding from me and
That's when I know
She's gonna be pissed when she wakes up
For terrible things I did
To her in her dreams

Roy Tucker
02-26-2007, 10:37 AM
I'm of the mind set that after years of marriage a bright and capable spouse should understand that the minds of a man and woman work differently. When my wife plays the stuff where I am supposed to keep asking what is the matter over and over (and she rarely does this anymore) I generally just go down to my family room, tell my son to come down with me and we watch TV and play until she is ready to be reasonable. I expect my wife to use reason and logic.

I think this is a good skill to have for both spouses.

There are times when I'll be on one of my rants about something and my wife will just give me one of "those" looks. Very subtle, nobody else notices it, but it says "Roy, you're being an idiot". And a little red flag will raise in the middle of my roaring and I'll think, "oh jeez, am I being foolish here?". It's a sign for me to wind it down. After some fussing and fuming, I'll settle down.

A couple days later, we'll talk about it and have a good laugh. But if she would have used a frontal assault while I was in mid-frenzy, it never would have worked and would have only escalated things.

And I do the same to her. A raised eyebrow or a throat-clearing can sometimes communicate volumes.

Sweetstop
02-26-2007, 10:40 AM
The sun's coming up
She's pulling all the blankets over
Curled in a ball
Like she's hiding from me and
That's when I know
She's gonna be pissed when she wakes up
For terrible things I did
To her in her dreams

:D :D

How'd you know what I did this morning?:D

Sweetstop
02-26-2007, 10:49 AM
I'm of the mind set that after years of marriage a bright and capable spouse should understand that the minds of a man and woman work differently. When my wife plays the stuff where I am supposed to keep asking what is the matter over and over (and she rarely does this anymore) I generally just go down to my family room, tell my son to come down with me and we watch TV and play until she is ready to be reasonable. I expect my wife to use reason and logic.


So, things ALWAYS have to be settled your way (which I assume you mean is w/ reason and logic)? :) Seems a little unreasonable. ;)

Roy Tucker
02-26-2007, 10:55 AM
The sun's coming up
She's pulling all the blankets over
Curled in a ball
Like she's hiding from me and
That's when I know
She's gonna be pissed when she wakes up
For terrible things I did
To her in her dreams

Ho-ho. I though it was just my wife that did this. :D

Ltlabner
02-26-2007, 11:04 AM
So, things ALWAYS have to be settled your way (which I assume you mean is w/ reason and logic)? :) Seems a little unreasonable. ;)

I don't know about Minus5, but I almost always open to whatever Mrs. Ltlabner has on her mind, whether it be a request, a fealing or she's downright pissed off at me. More often than not, I'm more than willing to do what she'd like, or at least negotiate a settlement or she has brough up something I had forgotten/not thought about.

But she has to tell me what it is she wants/is fealing. For example, if she's irritated because she'd like the lightswitch fixed don't get pissy about where we go to dinner. Also, don't go over to the lightswitch and flip it on and off and get huffy when it doesn't work. Just have the respect to tell me, "hey, I'm irritated that the light switch is broken for the past month. Could you fix it please?". That's all I'm asking. If it's not important enough for her to have the thought, formulate the sentance and verbalize it, it's not important enough for me to try to decipher what she would like to have happen.

And again, this all applies to the run-of-the-mill mundane thoughts/issues. If she's emotionally upset over some major issue she has all the time in the world to figure out what she's feeling, express it when she's ready and I'll do my best to be sensitive and compassionate. And I'll go out of my way to anticipate her needs/feelings and try to "be there for her".

SunDeck
02-26-2007, 11:06 AM
Standard disclaimer:
I'm lucky, having found someone who is not only smarter than me, but who is also possibly the most tolerant and patient person in the world. And she's extremely "low maintenance", a real down to earth person who doesn't really care that I love sports, that I'm a lazy clown and that I'm swimming at the shallow end of the gene pool. In the game of marriage, I came out the clear winner.


Me: "Hun, do you have my keys?"
Wifey: "Yeah, they're in my purse."
Pause.....

Me: "Could you tell me where your purse is?"

This happens about five times a week. I don't know where she keeps her purse. Sometimes it's in a closet, other times it's in the garage in the van (along with the kids coats, about thirty books, and whatever else she happens to have left in there). I don't know, but how did "They're in my purse", become an adequate answer to this question? She usually says, "You asked if I had them, not where they were."

minus5
02-26-2007, 11:07 AM
I don't know about Minus5, but I almost always open to whatever Mrs. Ltlabner has on her mind, whether it be a request, a fealing or she's downright pissed off at me. More often than not, I'm more than willing to do what she'd like, or at least negotiate a settlement or she has brough up something I had forgotten/not thought about.

But she has to tell me what it is she wants/is fealing. For example, if she's irritated because she'd like the lightswitch fixed don't get pissy about where we go to dinner. Also, don't go over to the lightswitch and flip it on and off and get huffy when it doesn't work. Just have the respect to tell me, "hey, I'm irritated that the light switch is broken for the past month. Could you fix it please?". That's all I'm asking. If it's not important enough for her to have the thought, formulate the sentance and verbalize it, it's not important enough for me to try to decipher what she would like to have happen.

And again, this all applies to the run-of-the-mill mundane thoughts/issues. If she's emotionally upset over some major issue she has all the time in the world to figure out what she's feeling, express it when she's ready and I'll do my best to be sensitive and compassionate. And I'll go out of my way to anticipate her needs/feelings and try to "be there for her".

I totally agree with this. I am always ready willing and able. BUT she has to be able to tell me what it wrong, I am not playing guessing games. It has nothing to do with getting my way, it has everything to do with getting the issue out in the open and getting the issue taken care of. I'm not a cold, callous persont that just wanst things my way, far from it. My wife would be the first to admit this.

Johnny Footstool
02-26-2007, 11:11 AM
My wife likes to keep the countertops clean and free of clutter. She piles things on the floor instead -- she's got about two dozen books stacked up beside her nightstand, and a bunch of junk piled around the entertainment center.

My wife is impatient when it comes to little household tasks. When she decides it's time to wash dishes, the dishes get washed, even if you're in the middle of cooking. Set a knife down on the counter for a second, and it will be scrubbed and placed in the dishwasher before you can grab it to chop the next onion. I have to make her leave the kitchen when I'm cooking.

Worst of all, my wife likes the Cleveland Browns.

Heath
02-26-2007, 11:27 AM
Worst of all, my wife likes the Cleveland Browns.

I feel sorry for HER.

:D

registerthis
02-26-2007, 11:28 AM
Mrs. RT: Would you please <insert name of typical household chore here>?
RT: Sure, no problem.

...RT then embarks upon and completes the chore in question...

RT: OK, it's done.
Mrs. RT: Oh, you didn't <insert useless trivial detail here> and you forgot to <insert second useless trivial detail here>. Also, when you're done, you need to remember to <insert ridiculously mundane and easily forgotten activity here>.
RT: <sigh>

TeamCasey
02-26-2007, 11:56 AM
The lightswitch - I'm guessing she'd already mentioned it multiple times, or there are other projects that had been ignored too.

RFS62
02-26-2007, 11:58 AM
.... Along with Randy's "read her mind", she expects for me to be able to hear what she is thinking about. I always have to stop and try to figure out the context of some seemingly random comment because she never establishes it.




Boy howdy! My wife does this all the time. I've kind of made a game out of trying to figure out what the hell she's talking about instead of asking her.

The other thing that's already been mentioned a few times is that she has absolutely no concept of time. None.

Roy Tucker
02-26-2007, 12:27 PM
Actually, what annoys me is when my wife forgets to put on her June Cleaver-esque pearls when fetching me my pre-dinner drink.

The fact that she is trying to keep the 12 children quiet so I can relax after a hard days work is immaterial.

Plus sometimes she forgets my slippers along with that drink.

Puffy
02-26-2007, 12:32 PM
(1) When I come home she doesn't have dinner on the table.
(2) She is a horrible cook. How can't you know how to butterfly a pork tenderloin!
(3) She passes gas constantly. I'm afraid to light candles in my house because of the methane buildup.
(4) It takes her two hours to sew my buttons back onto my shirts when they pop off. Come on, I need that crap done ASAP.
(5) She takes a shower in the morning and one at night. I'm the one who works and pays the frakin water bills!
(6) She throws out the newspaper before I get to read it sometimes.
(7) She complains when I tell her to run my back and shoulders.

edabbs44
02-26-2007, 12:34 PM
My wife is a Yankees fan. :barf:

BuckWoody
02-26-2007, 12:37 PM
(1) When I come home she doesn't have dinner on the table.
(2) She is a horrible cook. How can't you know how to butterfly a pork tenderloin!
(3) She passes gas constantly. I'm afraid to light candles in my house because of the methane buildup.
(4) It takes her two hours to sew my buttons back onto my shirts when they pop off. Come on, I need that crap done ASAP.
(5) She takes a shower in the morning and one at night. I'm the one who works and pays the frakin water bills!
(6) She throws out the newspaper before I get to read it sometimes.
(7) She complains when I tell her to run my back and shoulders.

Put another log on the fire.
Cook me up some bacon and some beans.
And go out to the car and change the tire.
Wash my socks and sew my old blue jeans.
Come on, baby, you can fill my pipe,
And then go fetch my slippers.
And boil me up another pot of tea.
Then put another log on the fire, babe,
And come and tell me why you're leaving me.

Now don't I let you wash the car on Sunday?
Don't I warn you when you're gettin fat?
Ain't I a-gonna take you fishin' with me someday?
Well, a man can't love a woman more than that.
Ain't I always nice to your kid sister?
Don't I take her driving every night?
So, sit here at my feet 'cos I like you when you're sweet,
And you know it ain't feminine to fight.

So, put another log on the fire.
Cook me up some bacon and some beans.
Go out to the car and lift it up and change the tire.
Wash my socks and sew my old blue jeans.
Come on, baby, you can fill my pipe,
And then go fetch my slippers.
And boil me up another pot of tea.
Then put another log on the fire, babe,
And come and tell me why you're leaving me.
:D

SunDeck
02-26-2007, 12:41 PM
(1) When I come home she doesn't have dinner on the table.
(2) She is a horrible cook. How can't you know how to butterfly a pork tenderloin!
(3) She passes gas constantly. I'm afraid to light candles in my house because of the methane buildup.
(4) It takes her two hours to sew my buttons back onto my shirts when they pop off. Come on, I need that crap done ASAP.
(5) She takes a shower in the morning and one at night. I'm the one who works and pays the frakin water bills!
(6) She throws out the newspaper before I get to read it sometimes.
(7) She complains when I tell her to run my back and shoulders.

And yet, you stick around for this?
Wimp.

Yachtzee
02-26-2007, 01:08 PM
My wife is a Cubs fan...and won't get in the kitchen and make me a turkey pot pie.

vaticanplum
02-26-2007, 01:21 PM
Actually, what annoys me is when my wife forgets to put on her June Cleaver-esque pearls when fetching me my pre-dinner drink.

The fact that she is trying to keep the 12 children quiet so I can relax after a hard days work is immaterial.

Plus sometimes she forgets my slippers along with that drink.

Mr. vp never brings home the proper kind of game requested. I want quail, he brings home turkey. I want pig, he brings home elk. Excuse me, have you ever heard of elk bacon for breakfast? Noooo, you haven't.

He doesn't give the chilluns the proper amount of belt lashings when they misbehave.

And, of course, he doesn't make enough money. Ever. Best-paying 16-hour-a-day factory job in the county, my butt. I need my gemstones, beyotch.

Red Leader
02-26-2007, 01:24 PM
I need my gemstones, beyotch.

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

registerthis
02-26-2007, 01:26 PM
Actually, what annoys me is when my wife forgets to put on her June Cleaver-esque pearls when fetching me my pre-dinner drink.

The fact that she is trying to keep the 12 children quiet so I can relax after a hard days work is immaterial.

Plus sometimes she forgets my slippers along with that drink.

http://gallery.pcapex.com/data/500/good_housekeeping1955.jpg

15fan
02-26-2007, 01:27 PM
Mrs. fan isn't particularly adept at putting lids on things. The trash can, the milk jug, the tube of toothpaste, the liquid laundry detergent - it doesn't matter. Lids are never fastened firmly.

She also does some semi-regular work travel that requires a night away. When she calls that night, or comes home the next day, she always manages to ask if I did the 1 chore that I didn't get done.

So when she asks the inevitable question "did you (insert household chore here)?" I've started responding:

"I fed the kid dinner, cleaned up the kitchen, bathed the kid, cleaned up the bathroom, got the kid to bed, unloaded the dishwasher, took out the trash, ran a couple loads of laundry, paid the bills, and ran the vacuum both upstairs and downstairs."

"So you didn't dust?"

I even go out of my way to make sure that it's not the same chore every time. One time I won't dust. The next time I won't vacuum. The time after that, I won't unload the dishwasher.

And every freaking time she asks about the 1 thing I didn't do.

Red Leader
02-26-2007, 01:31 PM
Mrs. fan isn't particularly adept at putting lids on things. The trash can, the milk jug, the tube of toothpaste, the liquid laundry detergent - it doesn't matter. Lids are never fastened firmly.

She also does some semi-regular work travel that requires a night away. When she calls that night, or comes home the next day, she always manages to ask if I did the 1 chore that I didn't get done.

So when she asks the inevitable question "did you (insert household chore here)?" I've started responding:

"I fed the kid dinner, cleaned up the kitchen, bathed the kid, cleaned up the bathroom, got the kid to bed, unloaded the dishwasher, took out the trash, ran a couple loads of laundry, paid the bills, and ran the vacuum both upstairs and downstairs."

"So you didn't dust?"

I even go out of my way to make sure that it's not the same chore every time. One time I won't dust. The next time I won't vacuum. The time after that, I won't unload the dishwasher.

And every freaking time she asks about the 1 thing I didn't do.


:laugh:

I'd be checking for the "nanny cam" if I were you.

Are any of these in your house?

http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&q=nanny+cam&gbv=2&safe=active

registerthis
02-26-2007, 01:32 PM
And every freaking time she asks about the 1 thing I didn't do.

Try doing only one thing next time, maybe she'll ask you that one and you can say "yes". :)

Chip R
02-26-2007, 01:37 PM
Mr. vp never brings home the proper kind of game requested. I want quail, he brings home turkey. I want pig, he brings home elk. Excuse me, have you ever heard of elk bacon for breakfast? Noooo, you haven't.

He doesn't give the chilluns the proper amount of belt lashings when they misbehave.

And, of course, he doesn't make enough money. Ever. Best-paying 16-hour-a-day factory job in the county, my butt. I need my gemstones, beyotch.


And here's a picture of VP

http://www.andreashagedorn.info/images/bundy/peggy2.jpg

pedro
02-26-2007, 01:44 PM
Mr. vp never brings home the proper kind of game requested. I want quail, he brings home turkey. I want pig, he brings home elk. Excuse me, have you ever heard of elk bacon for breakfast? Noooo, you haven't.

He doesn't give the chilluns the proper amount of belt lashings when they misbehave.

And, of course, he doesn't make enough money. Ever. Best-paying 16-hour-a-day factory job in the county, my butt. I need my gemstones, beyotch.

Not to mention spending all weekend hunting turtles with his buddies....

http://www.turtlehuntin.com/turtlehuntin/getinthere.jpg

RFS62
02-26-2007, 02:03 PM
Mr. vp never brings home the proper kind of game requested. I want quail, he brings home turkey. I want pig, he brings home elk. Excuse me, have you ever heard of elk bacon for breakfast? Noooo, you haven't.

He doesn't give the chilluns the proper amount of belt lashings when they misbehave.

And, of course, he doesn't make enough money. Ever. Best-paying 16-hour-a-day factory job in the county, my butt. I need my gemstones, beyotch.


You better recognize, woman. A man like this doesn't come around every day!!!

http://www.cyberpursuits.com/essays/mckenna/rg02.jpg

flyer85
02-26-2007, 02:16 PM
http://www.cyberpursuits.com/essays/mckenna/rg02.jpg
"Is that you Uncle Red?"

Red Leader
02-26-2007, 02:49 PM
I hate when I get home and my laundry isn't folded correctly, dinner is running late and my wife isn't wearing the apron I bought her for Christmas. I mean, I've had a long hard day at work (posting on RZ and such), the least she could do is meet these three simple requests I ask her to do every day. I showed her once how to correctly fold laundry. I come home at the same time every day and that apron wasn't cheap, and it's got my picture on it. I mean, why wouldn't you wear it?

flyer85
02-26-2007, 03:00 PM
She snores. I suppose I do but I never hear it.

HotCorner
02-26-2007, 03:04 PM
Great stuff thus far!

Here's a couple from my lovely wife that drive me crazy.

1) Whenever she notices a tasks needs to be completed, she will state it as "we need to feed the cat" but I know that she really means "you need to feed the cat".

2) Volunteers us/me without first discussing it. For example watching one of her friends' kids on a worknight. (I feel like I've been thrown under the bus!) ;)

I know she had several on me.

One of the many positives is she's become a sports fan for the most part although she still hates basketball - although I do get her to watch March Madness with me. Is that love or what? :thumbup:

HotCorner
02-26-2007, 03:10 PM
She snores. I suppose I do but I never hear it.

So does my wife. :D Here's the routine exchange:

Wife: [snoring]
Me: [nudges wife]
Wife: [looks at me with quizical face]
Me: You were snoring.
Wife: No I wasn't.
Me: I can't even hear the TV.
Wife: I don't snore.
Me: I'll setup the camcorder if you want proof.

[I also snore but at least don't deny it. :laugh: ]

Heath
02-26-2007, 03:11 PM
One of the many positives is she's become a sports fan for the most part although she still hates basketball - although I do get her to watch March Madness with me. Is that love or what? :thumbup:

My wife likes basketball - college especially - since it's only two hours per game roughly. Anyway, we as family do brackets and when she turned hers into me she gave me poem announcing baby #3 was on the way.

flyer85
02-26-2007, 03:25 PM
So does my wife. :D Here's the routine exchange:

Wife: [snoring]
Me: [nudges wife]
Wife: [looks at me with quizical face]
Me: You were snoring.
Wife: No I wasn't.
Me: I can't even hear the TV.
Wife: I don't snore.
Me: I'll setup the camcorder if you want proof.

[I also snore but at least don't deny it. :laugh: ]that pretty much covers it.

westofyou
02-26-2007, 03:33 PM
My wifes worst habit?

Probably perpetuating a stereotype whilst participating in another classic stereotypical situation.

RFS62
02-26-2007, 04:04 PM
My wifes worst habit?

Probably perpetuating a stereotype whilst participating in another classic stereotypical situation.



Ya know, I almost said that.

SunDeck
02-26-2007, 04:05 PM
My wifes worst habit?

Probably perpetuating a stereotype whilst participating in another classic stereotypical situation.

I don't even know what that means and it annoys me.

flyer85
02-26-2007, 04:06 PM
My wifes worst habit?

Probably perpetuating a stereotype whilst participating in another classic stereotypical situation.too bad she couldn't just burp and fart.

RichRed
02-26-2007, 04:31 PM
One of the many positives is she's become a sports fan for the most part although she still hates basketball - although I do get her to watch March Madness with me. Is that love or what? :thumbup:

My wife doesn't care for basketball either. I've gotten her to come around a little on baseball (as long as it's in person and not on TV) and football, but she says that when a basketball game's on TV, all she hears is the squeaking of the sneakers on the floor. In fact, that's her name for basketball - "Squeaky Sneakers."

Anyway, my biggest complaint: sometimes when she brings me a beer, it's TOO cold.

[What can I say, only been married 4+ months, not too much to get upset about yet. :) ]

GAC
02-26-2007, 05:06 PM
She snores. I suppose I do but I never hear it.


So does mine. And she complains that she doesn't. In fact she gets upset when I mention it. I keep trelling her that since she is asleep, there is no way SHE can tells if she's snoring or not. Yet she sticks to her guns and says she doesn't.

I then say "Well, the only logical conclusion then is that there is a bear hiding under our bed."

As far as having to read my wife's mind or know her thoughts ahead of time? No thanks. I don't even try. It would probably give me nightmares. :mooner:

RFS62
02-26-2007, 05:07 PM
So does mine. And she complains that she doesn't. In fact she gets upset when I mention it. I keep trelling her that since she is asleep, there is no way SHE can tells if she's snoring or not. Yet she sticks to her guns and says she doesn't.

I then say "Well, the only logical conclusion then is that there is a bear hiding under our bed."

As far as having to read my wife's mind or know her thoughts ahead of time? No thanks. I don't even try. It would probably give me nightmares. :mooner:


Get a tape recorder.

durl
02-26-2007, 05:14 PM
- Ditto on the "read my mind" thing.
- Condescending. "I would think you'd know..."
- Thinks my only needs are dinner and clean clothes.

Yachtzee
02-26-2007, 05:17 PM
My wifes worst habit?

Probably perpetuating a stereotype whilst participating in another classic stereotypical situation.

LUCY! You got some 'splainin' to do.

OldRightHander
02-26-2007, 10:29 PM
He doesn't like sports.

Welcome to the club. Here's the rest of the list.

1. Backseat driving.

2. She thinks pointing is rude, so instead she jerks her head toward something and makes a face that I can't even describe, which looks more ridiculous than pointing ever would.

3. She won't go to movie theaters. If a good movie comes out, I see it by myself or with a friend, and then she watches it when the DVD comes out.

I really can't find anything else, so I guess I'm pretty lucky.

gonelong
02-26-2007, 11:03 PM
My wifes most annoying habit is to completely overlook my faults. All of them, all of the time. Makes you feel like a complete butt-munch to point out any of the few she acutally has.

GL

Ltlabner
02-27-2007, 07:02 AM
I realized the only other annoying habbit Mrs. Ltlabner has. In the mornings, her alarm clock goes off before mine. She lets it go off.....and keep going off.....and keep going off....and keep going off...until I wake up and nudge her. The second I nudge her she quickly reaches over and hits the snooze button. Then the cycle repeates itself 3 or 4 more times before she actually gets out of bed. By this time, I'm mostly awake and end up getting out of bed.

She has no explination, and as I posted earlier the other things she does that annoy me say more about my idocyncracies than they do her habbits so I can live with the very few "legitmate" annoying things she does.

GAC
02-27-2007, 08:32 AM
My wife has to get up at 4:30 in the morning. So she has her alarm clock set for 3:45 and then lets the sleep mode keep going off about every 5-10 minutes.

Why not just sleep until you have to get up? Why be waking yourself up every 5-1o minutes for an hour before you really have to? Doesn't make sense to me at all.

TeamCasey
02-27-2007, 09:11 AM
I was in the snooze habit for awhile. I got out of it by moving my alarm clock so I had to get my tush up to turn it off.

SunDeck
02-27-2007, 09:18 AM
My wife has to get up at 4:30 in the morning.
So you two get to spend about seven hours a week together? Now we know the secret to your success.
;)

HotCorner
02-27-2007, 10:11 AM
My wife has to get up at 4:30 in the morning. So she has her alarm clock set for 3:45 and then lets the sleep mode keep going off about every 5-10 minutes.

Why not just sleep until you have to get up? Why be waking yourself up every 5-1o minutes for an hour before you really have to? Doesn't make sense to me at all.

I hear you brother! My wife does the same thing.

vaticanplum
02-27-2007, 12:36 PM
I was in the snooze habit for awhile. I got out of it by moving my alarm clock so I had to get my tush up to turn it off.

One of my friends once bought me a baseball alarm clock. The idea was that you had to throw it (get it to hit something pretty hard) in order for it to turn off. Not only did I get in the habit of waking up, throwing it across the room, and going back to sleep, but I also lost several picture frames and a very nice lamp in the experiment. Worst. invention. ever.

creek14
02-27-2007, 04:08 PM
If there is one thing mr creek never has to do, it is read my mind.

Believe me, I have no problem telling him (or anyone else) exactly what I am thinking. :rant2:

Yachtzee
02-27-2007, 04:12 PM
One of my friends once bought me a baseball alarm clock. The idea was that you had to throw it (get it to hit something pretty hard) in order for it to turn off. Not only did I get in the habit of waking up, throwing it across the room, and going back to sleep, but I also lost several picture frames and a very nice lamp in the experiment. Worst. invention. ever.

So the scouting report on vp says "Good arm, but has control problems." :)

Puffy
02-27-2007, 04:23 PM
So the scouting report on vp says "Good arm, but has control problems." :)

Thats the same thing my ex-girlfriend said about me.

Heath
02-27-2007, 06:02 PM
Thats the same thing my ex-girlfriend said about me.

not so fast mister. I heard you didn't go deep into the game and peaked too early.

Dude - back to AAA for you.

pedro
02-27-2007, 06:06 PM
not so fast mister. I heard you didn't go deep into the game and peaked too early.

Dude - back to AAA for you.

don't you mean XXX?

Puffy
02-27-2007, 06:22 PM
not so fast mister. I heard you didn't go deep into the game and peaked too early.

Dude - back to AAA for you.

Good arm. Control problems. Keep thinking about it - you'll get it.........

Heath
02-27-2007, 07:21 PM
Good arm. Control problems. Keep thinking about it - you'll get it.........

yeah, I'm afraid I got it a little past the time I hit "submit reply".

:bang:

KronoRed
02-27-2007, 07:47 PM
Hey now.. :bang: is (c) Krono ;)

GAC
02-27-2007, 07:57 PM
not so fast mister. I heard you didn't go deep into the game and peaked too early.

Dude - back to AAA for you.

In Puffy's case I thought AAA referred to battery size. :mooner:

GAC
02-27-2007, 08:01 PM
So you two get to spend about seven hours a week together? Now we know the secret to your success.
;)

Our world could get turned upside down by the end of the year. I'm hoping to get off of 3rd shift and go to days. 3rd shift has been a killer on this old body. They say that 3rd shift takes 10 years off the end of your life. Fortunately it's the last ten years when one is back in diapers and drooling all over themselves. :D