View Full Version : Thoughts and the End of the Night

Scrap Irony
03-25-2007, 11:47 PM
The Hamilton story is right out of Hollywood, but the Reds only go so far as Dunn takes them. He is the bell cow for this team. He's like Superman in the DC Universe and Captain America is the Marvel...

Umm, nevermind.


There is no truth to the rumor that the University of Kentucky asked for the right to interview Jerry Narron for the vacant Wildcat head coaching position.

There is truth, however, to the rumor that Josh Hamilton has been asked if he's interested in for the Bearcats. Although he hasn't picked up a basketball for 14 years, eight months, and sixteen days, Hamilton is expected to average 23 points per game and lead the team back to respectability.

"If he could do it in baseball," said one Cincinnati booster, "he can damn sure do it in basketball. Besides, it's a whole lot easier to hit a basket than a little white ball."


Why don't the Diamondbacks and Devil Rays play Spring Training games at their own parks?


My hypothetical Water Cooler Blockbuster, Spring Edition:

Milton, Cormier, Denorfia, EdE, Livingston, and Lohse for Zimmerman and Cordero.

Anyone else think it's ironic that Bowden can't find any pitchers healthy enough to fill out a staff?


Dustin Hermansen = Paul Wilson

That said, I really, really home Ramon Geronimo is for real. That's one cool name for a closer.


Is Mark Bellhorn the anti-Juan Castro? Is so, shouldn't he be wearing the evil-earth doppelganger goattee? Or is Castro the evil-earth goattee wearing doppelganger? (This is the reason I flunked Science in school.)


Why wasn't Dick Pole Wang's pitching coach at some time or another?

Think of the headline:

Dick Pole: Yanks' Wang Will Be Fine.

Sigh. There is no rhyme nor reason to the universe.


While you were reading this, Barry Bonds head grew two hat sizes.

And, oddly enough, David Eckstein shrunk to 5'4", 112 lbs.

Baseball is the only sport where one could be the size of a jockey or an offensive lineman and still be really, really good.

Cecil Fielder and Willie Keeler agree with me.


Cardinals' pitching? Blah. Carpernter's nice, but filling out a rotation with four #5's is a bit much, even for the World Series champs, no?

(Disclaimer: I also argued "blah" last season about Cardinal pitching, but was told that Dave Duncan apparently has some sort of radical new invention which allows pitchers to fool opposing batters entirely while only in Cardinal uniforms. Past proponents Rally Killers (tm) include Matt Morris, Woody Williams, and Jeff Weaver (post-season edition).

Duncan gets more out of less than anyone in baseball.


While you were reading this, Tony LaRussa was on I-65, sleeping behind the wheel with a blood alcohol level of just over legal limit. His unintelligible mutterings were still smarter than Marty Brennamen.

By a factor of ten.