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The Baumer
08-28-2007, 02:03 AM
If Pete Mackanin is doing such a good job, why isn't his picture hanging on the wall by the check out stands?

At night I dream of a world where the Cubs and Brewers are contracted, Wrigley Field is imploded, and every Curewer home run is celebrated by dropping a mustachioed Rod Carew down a giant beer chute.

People ooh and aah when Pujols hits 5 home runs in 5 games. I'm more interested in is ability to have 2 different ages in 2 countries.

If a Cincinnati Red hits a home run in Great American Ballpark and there are only Cubs fans around to hear it, does it make a sound?

If you think Matt Belisle is anything more than a #5 starter, you 'be lying' to yourself.

Brandon Phillips has the same name as a type of screwdriver.

Who knew that the Reds would find a way to claw back to 10 games under .500? Probably a psychic person.

Does Jeff Keppinger's wife ever get mad at him for forgetting to put the 'cap on jar'? Jeff Keppinger's last name kind of sounds like cap-on-jar.

Winning the Central is like finding a beef steak under the sofa cushions, you have a beef steak but- hold on, I'm not sure you want to eat that.

Elizardo Ramirez's first name sounds like lizard. And he's skinny. Like a lizard. I bet if I really thought about it I could use these two pieces of information to form a pretty sweet 'thought'.

Sometimes I like to imagine words as being spoken by a man with a heavy lisp. For example, the word "pythag" would actually be "pie tag" which is like regular tag except everyone sits at the table and eats pie.

And in closing, a popular quote from Gregory Samson, original creator of Redszone.

"A zone is many things; a place where pitchers aim their strikes, a mindset that eliminates distraction, a stretch of land with designated building regulations. However, a zone will never be a magic dog that shoots fire from his eye balls."

TOBTTReds
08-28-2007, 02:18 AM
You might need help after that. :)

smith288
08-28-2007, 01:09 PM
Tried too hard, give you a c+ or a B-