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Matt700wlw
11-27-2007, 06:54 PM
http://www.ew.com/ew/gallery/0,,20034199,00.html

Red in Chicago
11-27-2007, 07:07 PM
The Karate Kid picture is disturbing

GoReds33
11-27-2007, 07:35 PM
The Karate Kid picture is disturbingYeah. The dude in the background makes it even more weird.

I've gotta admit, I do love me some "Don't Stop Believin."

MrCinatit
11-27-2007, 08:06 PM
Meh. I don't do ballads.
Now, if you will excuse me, I have some Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam's All Cried Out to listen to.

Dom Heffner
11-27-2007, 08:29 PM
At first glance I read "Ballads" without the second a and d.

That would have made an entirely different thread.

Bob Schweatty came to mind.

:)

George Foster
11-28-2007, 12:50 AM
"She's like the wind" by Patrick Swayze is the cheesiest of all time.

George Foster
11-28-2007, 12:55 AM
I almost forgot about the ballad that Lee Majors song about the bionic women...." Oh Jamie."

Caveat Emperor
11-28-2007, 01:22 AM
Meh. I don't do ballads.

Come on -- I thought everyone loved "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald." ;)

Hap
11-28-2007, 01:23 AM
(Dis)Honorable mention

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/5/5b/Dontknowwhatyougot_singleart.jpg

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/5/53/Beth_single.jpg/600px-Beth_single.jpg

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/1/17/Def-Leppard-HaveUever_lepcd.jpg

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/d/d3/Every_Rose_Has_Its_Thorn-Cover.jpg

sonny
11-28-2007, 03:34 AM
^Those are some Bad Boy Ballads! Is there any other kind?

MrCinatit
11-28-2007, 07:28 AM
Come on -- I thought everyone loved "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald." ;)


That was not a ballade - it was an epic classic. :D

Johnny Footstool
11-28-2007, 09:59 AM
"Don't Stop Believin'" is not a ballad. It's a mid-tempo rock song. More specifically, it's an *awesome* mid-tempo rock song.

The cheesiest ballad ever is GNR's "November Rain". Nine and a half minutes of soppy self-indulgence. A grand piano. An orchestra. A choir. Slash playing a guitar solo while on fire. Mary Lou Retton doing cartwheels down the aisle of a church.

Okay, some of those things never happened. But you just know Axl wanted all of them.

Chip R
11-28-2007, 10:22 AM
Afternoon Delight's pretty cheesy but the folks from Anchorman really gave it a little extra oomph.

Heath
11-28-2007, 11:34 AM
No Bon Jovi? No Livin' on a Prayer?

Actually when I was thinking of Ballads, I thought of Waylon Jennings.

cumberlandreds
11-28-2007, 01:19 PM
I don't know if Minnie Ripperton's "Loving you" is considered a ballad but it's about a cheesy a song as you can get,IMO.

Yachtzee
11-28-2007, 01:21 PM
"All I Want To Do is Make Love To You" - Heart
"Wind Beneath My Wings" - From the move "Be-oches"
Any ballad from Phil Collins' solo career.

Chip R
11-28-2007, 01:23 PM
I don't know if Minnie Ripperton's "Loving you" is considered a ballad but it's about a cheesy a song as you can get,IMO.


I enjoyed it when Richard Stamos sung it.

RichRed
11-28-2007, 01:35 PM
"All I Need" by Jack Wagner

Heath
11-28-2007, 01:45 PM
At first glance I read "Ballads" without the second a and d.

That would have made an entirely different thread.

Bob Schweatty came to mind.

:)

It's Pete.....


http://www.samtsai.com/pix/coolvideomovie/p525.jpg

and don't forget......

Schwetty Balls (http://innovativegolfgear.com/catalog/pdetail.php?prdid=2387)

Dom Heffner
11-28-2007, 07:33 PM
"Don't Stop Believin'" is not a ballad. It's a mid-tempo rock song. More specifically, it's an *awesome* mid-tempo rock song.


Could not agree more.


Any ballad from Phil Collins' solo career.

He had his share, but "Against All Odds" is such a dark classic that I can't think of it as cheesy. For me it's a powerful, powerful song. Those drums, the quarter note piano,the layered vocals when he sings, "so many reasons why...."

Dude, that song kills me to this day.

I'll nominate Sheriff's "When I'm With You," though when they played it on Cold Case Files I'll admit I bought the CD on half.com for a buck. That last note is in the Guiness Book of World Records, isn't it?

Some members of that band also scored as Alias with "More Than Words Can Say," which mentions 6 AM more than any song in history.

George Foster brought up "She's Like the Wind." Great choice, and if anyone can explain the lyric, "She's like the wind, through my tree...." it would be a miraculous favor to me.

Warrant's "Heaven" is too sweet to hate, though cheesy indeed.

Used to love "The Price" by Twisted Sister, though it's one of those songs where the song slows down perfectly for the verses and then turns into a rock song at the end. They should have kept it dark throughout.

Matt700wlw
11-28-2007, 07:45 PM
Could not agree more.



He had his share, but "Against All Odds" is such a dark classic that I can't think of it as cheesy. For me it's a powerful, powerful song. Those drums, the quarter note piano,the layered vocals when he sings, "so many reasons why...."

Dude, that song kills me to this day.


How about "One More Night"


That's good stuff :p:

Matt700wlw
11-28-2007, 07:46 PM
George Foster brought up "She's Like the Wind." Great choice, and if anyone can explain the lyric, "She's like the wind, through my tree...." it would be a miraculous favor to me.



Well, the wind blows, and trees stand upright...

I'll stop now


:D

Dom Heffner
11-28-2007, 07:49 PM
How about "One More Night"

I think the music up through "No Jacket Required" is good stuff. "One More Night" is one of my favorites of his. I'm probably in the non-cool minority, but Phil Collinns' voice is like a favorite blanket from childhood. That guy ruled my high school years. And how many drummers are as instantly recognizable upon first listen?

He lost me with the Buster Soundtrack, though.

Dom Heffner
11-28-2007, 07:50 PM
Well, the wind blows, and trees stand upright...

I'll stop now


Makes more sense than any other explanation I've ever heard before.

Dom Heffner
11-28-2007, 08:36 PM
"When the Children Cry" by White Lion is truly excruciating. And cheesy.

Yachtzee
11-28-2007, 11:07 PM
"When the Children Cry" by White Lion is truly excruciating. And cheesy.

I think any number of power ballads from '80s hair bands could make the list if they weren't so interchangeable. However, that song by White Lion and "Don't Know What You Got Until It's Gone" by Cinderella stand out for me because they have a particularly bad combo of insipid lyrics and "fingernails on the chalkboard" vocals that get stuck in your head. Makes you want to grab an ice pick and ensure you never hear those songs again.

CrackerJack
11-28-2007, 11:30 PM
"Save The Weak" - Britney Fox

Yachtzee
11-28-2007, 11:39 PM
"Save The Weak" - Britney Fox

I still can't get over the fact that Britny Fox is a bunch of dudes. Check out the video for "Girlschool" on Youtube for some vintage '80s cheese.

CrackerJack
11-28-2007, 11:44 PM
I still can't get over the fact that Britny Fox is a bunch of dudes. Check out the video for "Girlschool" on Youtube for some vintage '80s cheese.

Yeah I think there's some closet issues there we'd rather not know about.

GAC
11-29-2007, 09:34 AM
I really couldn't define what is/isn't a ballad; but I know a cheesy song (elevator music) when I hear it.

Anything with Barry Manilow in it. Man did I hate the song Mandy.

McCartney put out his share too.....

"And when the cupboards bare, I know I'll find something theeeere with my love"

Was never a big fan of Michelle either.

Eric "All By Myself" Carmen.

Bread and America had their share too.

westofyou
11-29-2007, 09:36 AM
Bama Breeze by Jimmy Buffet is my new fave as far as cheese goes... it's Velveeta quality with a long shelf life.

Heath
11-29-2007, 09:39 AM
I'm ok with Ventura Highway and Horse with No Name.

The lunchtime at 5 on one of the local AC station was highlighted with Billy Joel's "We didn't start the fire".

Ugh.

Johnny Footstool
11-29-2007, 09:42 AM
"Save The Weak" - Britney Fox

Holy crap! I had forgotten about that nightmare.

Britney Fox were like Cinderella's stunt doubles. I think they raided Tom Kiefer's garbage and snagged all the purple trench coats he was throwing out.

This song and "When the Children Cry" represent the disturbing trend of 80's metal bands trying to write ballads with a "conscience". At least the White Lion song was about nuclear proliferation. "Save the Weak" was just about being nice to the less fortunate. Nothing says "metal" like helping an old lady carry her groceries home from the store.

Fellas, stick to writing about fast cars and giving booze to underage blondes.

RichRed
11-29-2007, 10:01 AM
I'm ok with Ventura Highway and Horse with No Name.


"Seasons crying no despair,
Alligator lizards in the air..."

What???

I actually really like America, though I'm not exactly sure why.

westofyou
11-29-2007, 10:17 AM
"Seasons crying no despair,
Alligator lizards in the air..."

What???

I actually really like America, though I'm not exactly sure why.

My first concert was America.... when they were actually young and popular.

Neil Young used to hate America (the band), mostly because they copped his sound, so much that his father called him and congratulated him on his hit "Horse with no name."

Roy Tucker
11-29-2007, 10:33 AM
REO Speedwagon - "Can't Fight This Feeling", "Keep On Lovin' You", etc etc
KISS - "Beth"
Styx - "Lady"
Toto - "Rosanna"
Air Supply - "The One That You Love"

Dom Heffner
11-29-2007, 11:03 AM
Styx - "Lady"

I've often contended that Dennis DeYoung is the most important piece of evidence in making a case for the death penalty.


Air Supply - "The One That You Love"

Painful. Money makes people do awful things, but I don't think even I could stand there and sing this song for all the cash in the world.

minus5
11-29-2007, 11:29 AM
That's What Friends Are For - Warwick, Wonder, Houston
Seasons In The Sun - Terry Jacks
I Want To Know What Love Is - Foreigner
The Living Years- Mike & The Mechanics

Matt700wlw
11-29-2007, 02:47 PM
"Seasons crying no despair,
Alligator lizards in the air..."

What???

.

Drugs?

RichRed
11-29-2007, 03:56 PM
Drugs?

Well sure, but sometimes I think about how lyrics like that could manage to make it all the way through songwriting, rehearsing, recording, mixing, etc., without somebody sobering up and saying, "Hey, you know what? That doesn't make any sense."

:)

nate
11-29-2007, 04:37 PM
"Total Eclipse of the Heart" by Bonnie Tyler is pretty freaking cheesy and long with all of these extended phrases and 2/4 bar turnarounds. Sure made it hard to skate to during the "last couple's skate" at the roller rink.

"Mandy" by Barry Manilow is cheesy like Velveeta.

Anything by Air Supply...I don't every remember them doing an up, mid or even down tempo tune. It was all "make out in your Torino" music.

"I Just Called to Say I Love You" by Stevie Wonder. Look, if Stevie Wonder music was religion, I'd be the pope but he'd have to spend about a week in purgatory for this one. Borderline ballad tempo but cue the nacho fountain.

"Bringin' On the Heartache" by Def Leppard is more of a "cryin' on your leather trousers" sort of tune but ballad-y enough. I think Mariah Carey did a take on this as well but you gotta throw up the horns for the DL version!

\m/ \m/

GAC
11-29-2007, 04:57 PM
REO Speedwagon - "Can't Fight This Feeling", "Keep On Lovin' You", etc etc
KISS - "Beth"
Styx - "Lady"
Toto - "Rosanna"
Air Supply - "The One That You Love"

Good picks. But you left out Styx's "Babe". ;)

westofyou
11-29-2007, 05:06 PM
"Alone again Naturally" - Gilbert Sullivan
"Love on the Rocks" - Neil Diamond
"Don't want to say goodbye" - The Rasberries

Matt700wlw
11-29-2007, 05:09 PM
Good picks. But you left out Styx's "Babe". ;)

yeeesh..."Babe"


How about some of Peter Cetera's mushy Chicago stuff - mid 70's? Early 80s?

RichRed
11-29-2007, 05:40 PM
"Love on the Rocks" - Neil Diamond


Oooh, that reminds me - "Heartlight" by Neil Diamond.

A song inspired by E.T., for crying out loud.

pedro
11-29-2007, 05:59 PM
"Seasons crying no despair,
Alligator lizards in the air..."

What???

I actually really like America, though I'm not exactly sure why.

Funny, I heard that song the other day and thought to myself "what a stupid lyric".

Yachtzee
11-29-2007, 06:08 PM
I don't know if it counts as a ballad, but David Hasselhoff's "Lookin' for Freedom" is the epitome of cheese. Or "Kaesekuegel" in German.