I Can't Stand Them Clogged Bases (song parody)

[Natty Redlocks]

I Can't Stand Them Clogged Bases

(to the tune of "Friends In Low Places" by Garth Brooks

I’ll blame it on Adam Dunn
Cause that big boy can’t run
But he sure likes to take him a walk
Well I came into town
And I sat him right down
And I said, “Buddy, we need to talk”
“Now I know you been
Usin’ ‘plate discipline’
When you don’t get good pitches to hit
Well listen here dude
I’m in a free-swingin’ mood
So hack if you don’t want to sit…”

Cause I can’t stand them clogged bases
Where the big guys walk at such slow paces
Just swing and pray
Then get out the way
Now I’m not big on them fancy phrases
Such as “work the count” and, like, “plate patience”
Dude, I can’t stand
Them clogged bases

Well Dunn looked at me
And he said, “Oh I see”
Went over and picked up a bat
My jaw hit the floor
As he looked at ball four
And walked down to first, and just sat
So I said to Wayne
“Dude, this guy’s a pain
What you get for him I don’t care”
Well the Dodgers are nuts
Cause they took his fat butt
For the man of my dreams, Juan Pierre…..

Cause I can’t stand them clogged bases
I like pitchers knowing when they face us
We’ll swing away
All freaking day
Now you won’t see no more fourth places
Long as all my players are Willie Mayses
Dude, I can’t stand
Them cloooooggggged baaasessssss……

[justincredible]

Haha, nice.

[GoReds33]

I like it. You have a few really good ones on here so far, but this is near the top.

[Blue]

This is excellent.

[fugowitribe]

:rockband:Nice.

[SMcGavin]

Now I’m not big on them fancy phrases
Such as “work the count” and, like, “plate patience”


My favorite part. Very well done.

[Moosie52]

See if you can work in that "beer chases" line in.