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View Full Version : Am I just being petty? Snow Story



BUTLER REDSFAN
02-27-2008, 10:40 PM
We live next door to a family with 3 boys(dont know exact ages but I would say maybe 5,8,11 years old). They are well behaved and cause us no issues at all during the year except for this issue. Every time we have any appreciable snow they come into my front yard to wrestle/play fight/throw snowballs etc...By the time they are done my front yard is a muddy,snowy eyesore. I know in 2-3 days it will all be melted anyway so what's the point in making a big stink about it. However somehow the way the sun hits our yard its always the last house on the street for the snow to melt so it ends up looking like an eyesore longer... Do you let it slide or do you say something to the parents?

bthomasiscool
02-27-2008, 11:16 PM
First Option: Now this is just me but I would let it go. If it was tearing the grass up for instance I would say something for sure. Kids will be kids. And there is something about the snow that will bring out the kid in many. Just hope it warms up quicker.

Second Option: Grab a snowball and hit one of the kids in the face.

TeamBoone
02-27-2008, 11:18 PM
I think I might nicely ask the boys why they prefer your yard to their own.

919191
02-28-2008, 01:23 AM
I say screw it and just play with them. If you are that concerned about appearances, a guy who is great with kids is probably respected more than the guy who is fussy about a perfect lawn.

cincyinco
02-28-2008, 02:33 AM
I can say that as a kid who grew up playing baseball/football/kickball/wiffleball/whathaveyou, on a friend's lawn that joined a neighbors lawn - just let the kids play. As long as its not doing damage to your property, the kids will be happy to have the memories. If you get out there and play with the kids, even better. I wish I could thank Mr. Cook these days, but I often think how cool it was that he let us use his yard - otherwise we had no place to play. His kindness in lending us his yard let me continue my youthful innoncence a lot longer and I'm grateful for that.

SunDeck
02-28-2008, 06:59 AM
Join the snowball fight.

Ltlabner
02-28-2008, 07:27 AM
However somehow the way the sun hits our yard its always the last house on the street for the snow to melt so it ends up looking like an eyesore longer... Do you let it slide or do you say something to the parents?

It's your yard. If it irks you then I'd say politley go talk to the parents. Especially if they are tearing up the yard, leaving big divots, etc.

Better yet, perhaps you could suggest they boys come play in your back-yard. They get to play and have fun, you are seen as the good guy and who gives a rip if the backyard gets all tussled.

MaineRed
02-28-2008, 07:39 AM
Offer them some weed. They won't come back.

Roy Tucker
02-28-2008, 08:26 AM
Depends. If it starts in their front yard and bleeds over into yours, then fine. Kids need to play. Our next-door neighbor always has wiffleball, tennis-baseball, kickball, etc games going on and we gladly let them use our yard as part of the field of play.

But if they pick your yard to tear up and leave theirs alone, I'd probably have a talk with the dad.

bucksfan2
02-28-2008, 08:34 AM
We live next door to a family with 3 boys(dont know exact ages but I would say maybe 5,8,11 years old). They are well behaved and cause us no issues at all during the year except for this issue. Every time we have any appreciable snow they come into my front yard to wrestle/play fight/throw snowballs etc...By the time they are done my front yard is a muddy,snowy eyesore. I know in 2-3 days it will all be melted anyway so what's the point in making a big stink about it. However somehow the way the sun hits our yard its always the last house on the street for the snow to melt so it ends up looking like an eyesore longer... Do you let it slide or do you say something to the parents?

What did you do as a kid? I mean if their is no damange done no harm done unless you like your yard pristine untouched snow.

Ltlabner
02-28-2008, 08:47 AM
What did you do as a kid? I mean if their is no damange done no harm done unless you like your yard pristine untouched snow.

Cool...can I come hang out in your living room and eat your food. I mean, no damage done no harm right?

camisadelgolf
02-28-2008, 09:07 AM
I think the fair thing would be for you to go in their yard and make just as big of a mess (or possibly a slightly bigger mess since it takes slightly less time for their snow to melt).

As you know, that's ridiculous, so here's what I'd really do: I'd call the police. And later on, I'd play dumb and ask the neighbors why the police came and have a discussion about how crazy it was that the police felt it was necessary to step in.

minus5
02-28-2008, 09:08 AM
Cool...can I come hang out in your living room and eat your food. I mean, no damage done no harm right?

No offense but how is that even close to being the same as 3 "well behaved" kids playing in the snow in your front yard? I don't follow the equation here. Myself, I wouldn't say anything to them especially since I knew them and knew that they were good kids. Now if they were kids I didnt know, it may be a different matter.

SunDeck
02-28-2008, 09:24 AM
I think the fair thing would be for you to go in their yard and make just as big of a mess (or possibly a slightly bigger mess since it takes slightly less time for their snow to melt).

As you know, that's ridiculous, so here's what I'd really do: I'd call the police. And later on, I'd play dumb and ask the neighbors why the police came and have a discussion about how crazy it was that the police felt it was necessary to step in.


Yes, and the neighbors won't figure that out.

Officer: "Hi, a neighbor complained about your kids playing in the yard next door."

Neighbor: "Gee, for the life of me I can't figure out who would have called. Must have been someone passing by in their car."

Officer: "Something like that."

This is exactly what the police love doing- handling petty neighbor disputes because someone is afraid to do it face to face.

Caseyfan21
02-28-2008, 09:34 AM
I think if they are playing in their yard and it sort of comes over into your yard then no harm as long as they aren't ruining your lawn. When I was younger my friends and I were all about playing sports in the yard as well as playing in the snow. We would use as much of our yard as possible but, especially for sports games, we would frequently have part of the outfield spill over into the neighbor's yard. The first neighbor was the type that paid for lawn service and had a perfect looking yard all year round (they did not have kids). It was known that we were not welcome in their yard and as a result my parents and them were never really very friendly because they even marked off property lines with stakes and such. They made a big stink about all the neighbor kids being in their yard so it sort of isolated them from the rest of the neighborhood. The next people to own the house were totally cool with us using part of their yard for anything we wanted and even told us so. The family was really welcomed in and became friends with everyone. I guess what I'm saying is from personal experience, if you make a big stink about the kids in your yard you might isolate yourself from the neighbors around you because that's exactly what happened in our neighborhood when I was growing up.

Now, if the kids are causing damage to your property or house, then I think it would be appropriate to say something nicely to their parents. Maybe say, "I don't mind if the games spill over a little but they are really tearing up my lawn." If the neighbors are good parents (like mine were) they will find a nice way to make sure their kids stay out of your yard and not tear it up.

It's really a tight rope to walk between being a friendly neighbor and really isolating yourself as the neighborhood grouch.

bucksfan2
02-28-2008, 09:39 AM
Cool...can I come hang out in your living room and eat your food. I mean, no damage done no harm right?

Sure as long as you don't come inside the house, don't make a mess, don't eat my food, and don't do any damage to my yard you can do whatever you want.

Roy Tucker
02-28-2008, 09:55 AM
I think if they are playing in their yard and it sort of comes over into your yard then no harm as long as they aren't ruining your lawn. When I was younger my friends and I were all about playing sports in the yard as well as playing in the snow. We would use as much of our yard as possible but, especially for sports games, we would frequently have part of the outfield spill over into the neighbor's yard. The first neighbor was the type that paid for lawn service and had a perfect looking yard all year round (they did not have kids). It was known that we were not welcome in their yard and as a result my parents and them were never really very friendly because they even marked off property lines with stakes and such. They made a big stink about all the neighbor kids being in their yard so it sort of isolated them from the rest of the neighborhood. The next people to own the house were totally cool with us using part of their yard for anything we wanted and even told us so. The family was really welcomed in and became friends with everyone. I guess what I'm saying is from personal experience, if you make a big stink about the kids in your yard you might isolate yourself from the neighbors around you because that's exactly what happened in our neighborhood when I was growing up.

Now, if the kids are causing damage to your property or house, then I think it would be appropriate to say something nicely to their parents. Maybe say, "I don't mind if the games spill over a little but they are really tearing up my lawn." If the neighbors are good parents (like mine were) they will find a nice way to make sure their kids stay out of your yard and not tear it up.

It's really a tight rope to walk between being a friendly neighbor and really isolating yourself as the neighborhood grouch.

This is good assessment of things. We're the people that let kids play in the yard, summer neighborhood picnics and winter euchre and beer parties, etc etc. We have good neighbors but that's because we've invested time in it, made friends, etc etc. You don't have to be best pals with your neighbors, but you do need to be ... neighborly.

Having said that, you also need to keep an eye on the kids and what's going on. For a couple years, we had the only basketball court in the neighborhood. Neighbor kids asked if they could use it and I said sure, just come over and play, don't need to ask. Kids would come over and shoot hoops and things seemed to work OK. I only asked them to not play when I was sitting out on my patio in the evening trying to enjoy a little peace and quiet.

But we went away for a summer weekend and evidently things got out of hand. We came home, patio furniture had been moved out there, pop cans laying around, a garden fence busted, and bin of balls we had out there were scattered around. Nothing terrible, but there was some lack of respect for other people's property. Talked to some neighbors and it was kids from the next street down who had played there with our immediate neighbors kids. They brought a gang down, had a big woo-hoo, and evidently didn't care about the state they left things in.

So I had to tighten the lid on things, made kids ask before they shoot hoops, blah blah. I also had a talk with the offending kids when they showed up again (actually, I talked, they listened). I hated to do it but I also didn't like my yard getting trashed by yahoos.

klw
02-28-2008, 09:56 AM
Do you know why they ome over to your yard? Do they not have a good space with their house, are they playing on their yard and just get excited? Are they going into other neighbors yards? Are their fence issues? Is their anything in your yard that the kids could get hurt on (your liability)? If there is a potential hazard it gives you a way to raise it with the parents with you looking like you are trying to keep the kids safe. Is this thread a psych experiment to test personality types and reactions? How often does it snow where you are? Is this once a year or three times a week for 5 months?

texasdave
02-28-2008, 10:28 AM
Perhaps you could reach a compromise of sorts. The kids get to use your lawn for building snowmen, having snowball fights etc., and in return they shovel your driveway. Sounds fair to me.

Caseyfan21
02-28-2008, 11:04 AM
Perhaps you could reach a compromise of sorts. The kids get to use your lawn for building snowmen, having snowball fights etc., and in return they shovel your driveway. Sounds fair to me.

That sounds like a winner right there. :thumbup:

BUTLER REDSFAN
02-28-2008, 11:25 AM
I'm not going to harp at them because like I said other than this you probably couldnt ask for better neighbor kids. It just kind of irks me a little because the father keeps meticulous care of his yard in the spring/summer and I cant help but wonder if he steers them my way.

Dom Heffner
02-28-2008, 11:28 AM
Everytime I pay my property taxes, it reminds me that it's my house.

If you don't like it, say something. As long as you are polite about it, you should be able to keep your standing in the neighborhood as well as get what you want.

Highlifeman21
02-28-2008, 11:39 AM
Landmines in the front yard will solve the problem.

I'm just sayin.....











In all seriousness, we had a similar problem growing up where we were playing in the neighbor's yard b/c of the odd shape of our front yard, and he wasn't too happy about it. He actually called the cops on us. The Sycamore Township Sheriff just laughed at the guy as he screamed at us to get off his lawn, and then screamed at the Sheriff to do something about us. Ultimately the guy moved within probably 3 years b/c the neighborhood was getting "too young" for him, and it seemed most houses in the neighborhood had at least 1 kid that was between K and 6th Grade.

Had he just asked us to not play in his yard, we would have stayed in ours. But he didn't, so...

SunDeck
02-28-2008, 11:40 AM
I'm not going to harp at them because like I said other than this you probably couldnt ask for better neighbor kids. It just kind of irks me a little because the father keeps meticulous care of his yard in the spring/summer and I cant help but wonder if he steers them my way.

And we get to the heart of the matter now, don't we?

Nevertheless, I like the idea of asking the kids to shovel your driveway.

If it irks you, any reasonable parent would understand. My kids are a two person demolition crew and I have had neighbors ask me to watch them more closely, so from the perspective of being told that my kids are annoying, I would say you are on firm footing if you mention it to their parents. Politely, of course.

You could also mention to them that Roy seems to have beer parties for kids and that they should go there instead.

Roy Tucker
02-28-2008, 12:05 PM
Kegger at Roy's house!!!

Irksome neighbor behavior calls for a lot of finesse. It's really easy to come off looking like a jackass and an overall prick.

I'm lucky in that us neighborhood dads have an underground man community. If someone's kid pisses somebody off, eventually a beer is offered, a conversation is held, and all ends well. We all understand that kids will be kids.

I know there is a group of boys in the neighborhood that still won't look me in the eye after I appeared out of the darkness when they were trying to get in my basement window when my daughter was having a slumber party. I think I took years off their lives.

minus5
02-28-2008, 12:15 PM
As long as someone is telling someone else to "stay off my lawn" it's all good.:D

http://thumb7.webshots.net/t/53/453/7/89/16/2271789160047882607cJlUID_th.jpg

RFS62
02-28-2008, 02:27 PM
Another aspect of it is potential liability.

Not really talking about playing in the snow, but allowing other kids to play in your yard can be expensive if one of them gets hurt.

One of the cheapest and smartest things you can do is get a blanket liability policy. Even a million bucks coverage isn't very expensive.

It's a different world today. You can't count on people to be reasonable.

GAC
02-28-2008, 03:38 PM
What kind of relationship do you have with the neighbor?

In a polite, friendly way I'd talk to the boys and try to find out why they choose your yard over their own. You don't want to create any hard feelings/animosity with those you have to live next door to.

But if you find out it's because their Dad said he didn't want them tearing up yard, then I'd have a friendly talk with the Dad. ;)

Grass (yards) are pretty resilient though. They come back rather quickly. The same can't be said about relationships with immediate neighbors if hard feelings are caused. It really depends on how big of an issue it is for you. But I'd think on that seriously.

wolfboy
02-28-2008, 04:10 PM
Pave your front lawn.

KronoRed
02-28-2008, 04:22 PM
Pave your front lawn.

And install spikes.

bucksfan
02-28-2008, 04:41 PM
I used to live in town and had same kinds of dilemmas. However my siautation was that at the time I had no kids and our neighbors (the ones with kids on the one side) were actually pretty bad. On more than one occaision I brouigh a can of cigarette butts to their front door that the kids had flicked into our yard from the 2nd floor. However, they generally stayed out of my yard, and quite honestly, I expected that. We had a park in town to go to to really play if they wanted to. I was not meticulous about my yard really at all, just kept it respectable. I wasn't really worrying about them tearing it up ior anything, but it was more the idea that I didn't want kids running around my yard (adding the extra noise/nuisance, etc) as well as the liabaility, etc. If they werent friends of my kids, I still believe I'd be generally irked by it but of course would want to be as nice as possible with my neighbors and would want to get along as you do.

I don't know if I was being clueless about it or what, but I honestly just never even considered that kids should be allowed to play in my yard! However my background is that I was raised in the country and all my friends lived in the country and we all had yards big enough for most any sport short of a marathon! When I played at my grandma's in town, I was always very cautious to be just in her yard though and it never occurred to me that it was OK to be on someone else's property.

Flash forward to now. We live out in the country again. I think it is the best place for me because I cannot deny that I'd probably not want kids other than someone playing with my daughter hanging around on our property. I would have no problem with the occasional ball or frisbee in the yard or something like that. I think that's to be expected. But constantly using my yard to play in I am certain would bother me if they were not friends of my daughter.

Ltlabner
02-28-2008, 04:56 PM
No offense but how is that even close to being the same as 3 "well behaved" kids playing in the snow in your front yard? I don't follow the equation here.

My comment was in responce to bucksfan2 stating that as long as they didn't damage anything there was no harm. Which, of corse, is silly. Damaging things isn't the standard by which people are allowed in, the owner of the property is the arbtier of who does/doesn't enter the proprety.

The equation is that if it's ok to barge onto someone elses property and do what you want "as long as you don't break anything" then it ought to be ok to pop a squat on his couch and hang out for a while.

It's HIS property and he's under no obligation to let people do whatever they want in his yard, whether they are behaving or digging trenches. Is it worth the stink and uncomfortable conversation to talk to the neighbor, that's something only the original poster can decide. But he's certinally within his rights to say something without regard to whether the kids are holding a prayer vigil and are national honor students.

Frankly, I think it's pretty rude to storm onto someone elses yard and goof around without even asking.

Assuming he approaches the neighbor politey and reasonably he shouldn't be ashamed one bit to make his request. Especially if he offers a compromise like playing in his backyard, or shoveling the driveway or whatever.

It's called "private" property for a reason.

Ltlabner
02-28-2008, 05:01 PM
Sure as long as you don't come inside the house, don't make a mess, don't eat my food, and don't do any damage to my yard you can do whatever you want.

Cool...I'll just pop up a tent in the front yard and have a camp-out for a couple of weeks.

Deepred05
02-28-2008, 11:37 PM
:bowrofl:
Kegger at Roy's house!!!

Irksome neighbor behavior calls for a lot of finesse. It's really easy to come off looking like a jackass and an overall prick.

I'm lucky in that us neighborhood dads have an underground man community. If someone's kid pisses somebody off, eventually a beer is offered, a conversation is held, and all ends well. We all understand that kids will be kids.

I know there is a group of boys in the neighborhood that still won't look me in the eye after I appeared out of the darkness when they were trying to get in my basement window when my daughter was having a slumber party. I think I took years off their lives.

Funny stuff roy.Another potential pitfall is the age of these kids. Getting pretty close to those teenage years. I can remember targeting certain neighbors who caused us grief in our younger days. Every time someone had a new prank to try out it was always the same poor schmuck who had ratted us out to our parents a few years earlier. Poor old man Miller. He paid dearly for one grouchy moment............:beerme:

Razor Shines
02-29-2008, 12:02 AM
Join the snow ball fight, except sprinkle your snow balls with a little muriatic acid or pee. Better yet start doing your "business" in the front yard. My guess the first time your neighbors see you doing #2 in the front yard their kids won't be allowed anywhere near your property. Problem solved.

Caseyfan21
02-29-2008, 09:54 AM
:bowrofl:
Another potential pitfall is the age of these kids. Getting pretty close to those teenage years. I can remember targeting certain neighbors who caused us grief in our younger days. Every time someone had a new prank to try out it was always the same poor schmuck who had ratted us out to our parents a few years earlier. Poor old man Miller. He paid dearly for one grouchy moment............:beerme:

This is very true as well. I can remember the rude neighbor across the street being the target of many pranks during my high school years. She was the neighbor that never let anyone in her yard and was rude to you if an errant ball found its way on her property. She also never smiled or waved or interacted with anyone in the neighborhood the first entire year she lived there. I can understand being private but this was to an extreme. We saw her open the garage, leave for work, then come home and close the garage and that was it. That was until a heavy snowfall and she couldn't get out of her garage so she had the guts to come up and ask a few of us to shovel her drive which we did and she didn't even offer to pay us, she just hopped in the car and left for work. That was about when we started the old high school pranks. ;)