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View Full Version : Kaz Matsui. Ouch.



15fan
03-11-2008, 03:53 PM
http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/features/briefingroom?playerId=5876

"Matsui will miss four to five days after being diagnosed with a condition known as anal fissure, the Houston Chronicle reports."

So...wouldn't that be a fissure of a fissure?

A meta-fissure, even.

Johnny Footstool
03-11-2008, 03:56 PM
Better than "fisher," I guess.

Unassisted
03-11-2008, 04:03 PM
I think this would have been an appropriate occasion for the Yankees to use the phrase "undisclosed ailment."

flyer85
03-11-2008, 04:03 PM
that almost as bad as Felix Pie's "twisted testicle".

Ltlabner
03-11-2008, 05:10 PM
Geez...couldn't they have just gone with "generalized soreness" ?

Hap
03-11-2008, 05:13 PM
early detection is the key

princeton
03-11-2008, 05:16 PM
got home late, and as promised, Mrs. Matsui tore him a new one.

Joseph
03-11-2008, 05:43 PM
got home late, and as promised, Mrs. Matsui tore him a new one.

Post of the year.

Rojo
03-11-2008, 05:54 PM
If I could walk that way.....

cincinnati chili
03-11-2008, 11:38 PM
got home late, and as promised, Mrs. Matsui tore him a new one.

Wow!

mbgrayson
03-12-2008, 12:13 AM
I think this would have been an appropriate occasion for the Yankees to use the phrase "undisclosed ailment."

Kaz Matsui, not Hideki Matsui. So it isn't the Yankees, it is the As[s]tros.

Cedric
03-12-2008, 12:21 AM
Nothing fun about having an anal fissure I'm sure. It's something that can be quite serious if not taken care of also.

919191
03-12-2008, 08:23 AM
I bet he is the butt of alot of jokes.

sonny
03-12-2008, 10:56 PM
I bet he is the butt of alot of jokes.

On the whole, I think that would be a terrible ailment.

klw
03-12-2008, 11:22 PM
One in a million Doc. One in a million.

http://www.sonypictures.com/tv/shows/seinfeld/multimedia/images/photoGallery/3fusilli_jerry.jpg

fusilli jerry

deltachi8
03-12-2008, 11:34 PM
Note to Astros: use hockey term "Lower Body Injury"

top6
03-13-2008, 12:24 AM
Note to Astros: use hockey term "Lower Body Injury"
Your complaint seems pretty anal to me.

reds44
03-13-2008, 12:46 AM
An anal fissure is a tear in the lining of the lower rectum (anus) that causes pain during bowel movements.An anal fissure is a tear in the lining of the lower rectum (anus) that causes pain during bowel movements.
I don't know if I want to know how that happens...

Maybe he and Pie...ehh nevermind.

reds44
03-13-2008, 12:47 AM
Anal fissures are caused by vigorous stretching of the anal canal. A fissure may develop if you are constipated and try to pass a large, hard stool; if you don't relax your anal muscles (sphincter muscles) during a bowel movement; or sometimes after repeated diarrhea. Fissures can also be caused by digital insertion (as during an examination), foreign body insertion, or anal intercourse
He either takes huge dumps, or......

Chip R
03-13-2008, 09:14 AM
He either takes huge dumps, or......


needs a little change in his diet.

Ravenlord
03-13-2008, 01:39 PM
what the hell is happening to players this spring?

now all we need is someone to get gangrene of their...uh...yeah....

Virginia Beach Reds
03-13-2008, 08:46 PM
should be able to just lance it off. keep...lance...steady...working...in...that...area .

I have no idea what that is, but doesn't sound like something I want to experience.

I remember an episode in the office when Kevin said he had an anal fissure. Classic stuff.