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WMR
03-27-2008, 05:45 PM
Highly-Touted Floor-Slapper Commits to Duke

Still reeling from a second round NCAA Tournament exit, the Duke basketball program received a much-needed piece of good news today when the nation’s premier high school floor-slapper announced his decision to play in Durham next winter.

Bradley Grayson, out of Marshall High School in Spokane, Wash., led the nation in floor-slaps this season with an eye-popping 38.2 per game.

“I’ve seen some great floor-slappers in my day,” said Duke head coach Mike Krzyzewski. “But this kid is the best. His faux intensity is amazing.”

Krzyzewski’s excitement is not unfounded. Scouting services rave about Grayson’s floor-slapping.

“You can literally feel the floor shake when Grayson slaps it.” – Scout.com

“Dust the floor for prints after any game – you’ll find his hand prints on 95-percent of it.” – Rivals.com

With Krzyzewski searching for answers as to why his once-feared program has become a rather easy out each March, Grayson’s commitment comes just in time.

“You know, we really need to get back to how Duke basketball was a decade ago,” said the coach. “Greg Paulus flops and complains like any other great point guard we have had here, but we just don’t have player who slap the floor the way Steve Wojciechowsi or Bobby Hurley did. Those guys would come in after games with their palms bleeding. If that’s not the mark of good defense, I don’t know what is.”

Hubert Davis, a current college basketball analyst who played 12 years in the NBA and is a 1992 North Carolina graduate, says he agrees a dearth of floor-slappers is indeed Duke’s biggest problem.

“People laugh at it, but that’s the point,” said Davis. “You’re dribbling down the court, and all of a sudden, some toolbag starts slapping the floor in front of you. You start laughing at him. It gets you off your game. You almost feel bad for the pathetic little guy. And that gives them an advantage.”

Grayson says he hopes to come in and make an immediate impact.

“I’m just going to keep working on my floor slaps,” he said. “And Coach K has sent me some tapes to watch on how to flop. Basically, it’s just if my man gets within six inches of me, I hurtle backwards through the air like I’ve stepped on a land mine. Beyond that, I’m just staying out of the sun as much as possible. Got to keep that melanin down, you know.”

http://sportspickle.com/features/volume7/2008-0326-duke.html

Click the link and check out the guy's photo. Perfect DOOKIE.

BRM
03-27-2008, 05:47 PM
:laugh:

That's a great read.

BRM
03-27-2008, 05:50 PM
“And Coach K has sent me some tapes to watch on how to flop. Basically, it’s just if my man gets within six inches of me, I hurtle backwards through the air like I’ve stepped on a land mine.


Just priceless. Good find WMR.

:beerme:

WMR
03-27-2008, 05:50 PM
:D

WMR
03-27-2008, 06:01 PM
Found this... it is actually a PDF with Dook letterhead and everything... I copy and pasted it here... pretty funny.

Duke University Flopping Camp
June 21-25, 2008 Durham, NC

Applicant Information Personal Information
Full Name:
Last
First
M.I.
Address:
Street Address
Apartment/Unit #
City
State
ZIP Code
Home Phone:
( )
Alternate Phone:
( )
E-mail Address:
Social Security Number or Government ID:
Birth Date:

Applicant Must Answer “Yes” to Each Question to Attend Camp
Are you white? _________________________
Do you lack athletic ability? _______________________
Does your offensive “game” consist of standing outside the three point line? _______________________
Are you adept at tripping? ___________________
Are you a lil’ floor-slapper? _____________________
Do you pee sitting down? ___________________
Do you want to be a Duke Assistant Coach? ________
Would Dick Vitale label you a “Winner”? ________
Do you like Italian Soccer? _____________________
Do you spend the majority of the game looking at your man’s back? _________________

Please Answer Below (used for roommate compatibility) :

1) Your favorite Duke flopper is (circle one):
A) Shane Battier
B) Greg Paulus
C) Steve Wojciechowski
D) Other

2) Your favorite announcer is (circle one):
A) Dick Vitale
B) Mike Patrick
C) Please don’t make me choose

3) You are defending on a fast break, with your opponent going for a lay-up you:
A) Slap at the ball as your opponent goes by
B) Wait until your opponent is in the air, and then throw your body under him
C) Undercut your opponent’s legs and then collapse in a heap
D)Take a pair of nuts to the face as your opponent dunks on you

4) After your teammate performs a successful flop, you:
A) Pump fist feverishly Look at Coach K and exchange knowing smiles
B) Save image of the flop in your “masturbatory memory box”
C) Hug as many men as you can

5) The best way to describe your play is (circle one):
A) “Scrappy”
B) “A coach on the court”
C) “Hard-nosed”

6) You wet the bed (circle one):
A) Frequently
B) Always

BRM
03-27-2008, 06:07 PM
Dab posted that on here somewhere the other day. It's pretty funny.

TeamSelig
03-27-2008, 06:32 PM
LOL nice

RedR8R
03-27-2008, 07:42 PM
This thread just made my night. I haven't laughed that hard in a while. Man I hate Dook.

Razor Shines
03-27-2008, 10:18 PM
ECHO, echo, echo, echo.

Am I the only Duke fan on the board? :)

GoReds33
03-27-2008, 10:20 PM
ECHO, echo, echo, echo.

Am I the only Duke fan on the board? :)Nope, but I still thought it was pretty funny.:)

Razor Shines
03-27-2008, 10:22 PM
Nope, but I still thought it was pretty funny.:)

Oh I thought it was funny for sure. I was just wondering.

WMR
03-27-2008, 10:24 PM
Nope, but I still thought it was pretty funny.:)

How many teams do you root for?

GoReds33
03-27-2008, 10:37 PM
How many teams do you root for?UC, UK, Duke, and USC football.

I have to have a favorite in all rivalries, or else I have no reason to watch.

WMR
03-27-2008, 10:40 PM
How in the hell can you root for UK AND Duke? I don't get that.

GoReds33
03-27-2008, 10:40 PM
How in the hell can you root for UK AND Duke? I don't get that.I like myself a winner.:)

WMR
03-27-2008, 10:42 PM
You may be the first fan in the history of fandom to root for UK and Duke.

From where I sit, part of being a UK fan is having a virulent hatred of DOOK.

GoReds33
03-27-2008, 10:43 PM
You may be the first fan in the history of fandom to root for UK and Duke.

From where I sit, part of being a UK fan is having a virulent hatred of DOOK.If it makes you feel any better, I hate Louisville.:)

WMR
03-27-2008, 10:50 PM
If it makes you feel any better, I have Louisville.:)

Do you mean hate?

If so, that's good. ;)

GoReds33
03-27-2008, 10:51 PM
Do you mean hate?

If so, that's good. ;)Sorry, I fixed it.

BRM
03-28-2008, 12:48 AM
Hating Louisville is just wrong. It should make you feel all dirty.

OldRightHander
03-28-2008, 10:22 PM
ECHO, echo, echo, echo.

Am I the only Duke fan on the board? :)

I don't know if I'd call myself a fan, but I have a healthy respect for them. I guess if I was a UK fan I might think differently, but I don't hate them or anything and have found myself rooting for them on occasion, depending on who they're playing.

WMR
03-28-2008, 10:25 PM
Where you at now, ORH? How's the weather? How's the driving?

OldRightHander
03-28-2008, 10:41 PM
Where you at now, ORH? How's the weather? How's the driving?

I delivered in Wichita this morning and slept most of the day. I'll be heading home tomorrow. I have a ticket for Monday. Can't let 800 miles stand in the way of attending Opening Day. The weather has been kind of nice out here, in the mid 50s and pleasant. That was a rough drive out here that night though once the basketball games ended and I had to find something else to listen to.

durl
03-30-2008, 12:28 AM
Interesting. I guess one of Mr. Grayson's parents needed a new job.