ESPN.com: Pirates Blueprint for History

[Chip R]

Not that we're a whole lot better and picking on the Pirates now is akin to piling on, but I found this article rather funny.

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=gallo/080910&sportCat=mlb

[OnBaseMachine]

I read that yesterday and thought it was hilarious.

My favorite part:

Step 111. Inspire fans to protest.
They can't take it anymore. This has gone on long enough. Now those who love and support you the most will turn against you by walking out of a game en masse. Heads will roll! Changes will be made! Accountability will be demanded!

Step 112. But be so awful they can't bring themselves to do it.
No way! The Pirates are actually winning this game! Six runs in an inning? Why, I don't think that has happened in years. Forget the walkout, I'm staying in my seat to see this rare chance for a win.

And this:

Step 247. But then suddenly decide to add salary on an established washed-up major league talent at the trade deadline.
It's the 2007 trade deadline. You are far removed from the wild-card chase and are looking to build for the future. Wait … what's that? Matt Morris is available? No one else wants him? Why, we'll take on his entire $10 million annual salary for this year and next, thereby making him the highest-paid player in franchise history! And we'll also give you a prospect in return. Deal?

[OldXOhio]

Hillarious is right. I particularly liked this one....

Step 1,699. Decimate your farm system.
Pittsburgh's Double-A franchise, the Altoona Curve, celebrated its 10-year anniversary this season and asked fans to vote for an all-time team. After 16 years of trading veterans for prospects, one would think the Pirates farm system would be loaded. But no! Check out the "stars" from 10 years of Altoona baseball. If you would like to have more than three of these players on your team, you are a Royals fan. Somehow, the Pirates manage to both continually trade away veterans for prospects AND have no decent prospects at the same time … a unique and almost admirable ability!

[Chip R]

I think some sharp folks around here could do a mini-version of this. :)

[MrCinatit]

Hillarious is right. I particularly liked this one....

Step 1,699. Decimate your farm system.
Pittsburgh's Double-A franchise, the Altoona Curve, celebrated its 10-year anniversary this season and asked fans to vote for an all-time team. After 16 years of trading veterans for prospects, one would think the Pirates farm system would be loaded. But no! Check out the "stars" from 10 years of Altoona baseball. If you would like to have more than three of these players on your team, you are a Royals fan. Somehow, the Pirates manage to both continually trade away veterans for prospects AND have no decent prospects at the same time … a unique and almost admirable ability!

Two of those names are Arroyo and Keppinger. Does that mean we are one step above the Royals?

[OldXOhio]

Two of those names are Arroyo and Keppinger. Does that mean we are one step above the Royals?


A step above, but barely.

I'll just say this - if the Muskies or Bearcats had a little more basketball success last season, it'd be difficult to distinguish the Queen City sports teams from Kansas City's.