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View Full Version : BCS Declares Germany Winner of WWII



Razor Shines
12-07-2008, 01:24 AM
I don't know who wrote this originally it came to me from my brother in-law who is a huge Texas fan. I google'd it. It's going around on a lot of message boards, but no one seems to know who the author is. If anyone finds the original please link it, they deserve credit.


US Ranked 4th

After determining the Big-12 championship game participants, the BCS computers were put to work on other major contests and today the BCS declared Germany to be the winner of World War II.

"Germany put together an incredible number of victories beginning with the annexation of Austria and the Sudetenland and continuing on into conference play with defeats of Poland, France, Norway, Sweden, Denmark, Belgium and the Netherlands. Their only losses came against the US and Russia; however considering their entire body of work--including an incredibly tough Strength of Schedule--our computers deemed them worthy of the #1 ranking."

Questioned about the #4 ranking of the United States the BCS commissioner stated "The US only had two major victories--Japan and Germany. The computer models, unlike humans, aren't influenced by head-to-head contests--they consider each contest to be only a single, equally-weighted event."

German Chancellor Adolf Hitler said "Yes, we lost to the US; but we defeated #2 ranked France in only 6 weeks." Herr Hitler has been criticized for seeking dramatic victories to earn 'style points' to enhance Germany's rankings. Hitler protested "Our contest with Poland was in doubt until the final day and the conditions in Norway were incredibly challenging and demanded the application of additional forces."

The French ranking has also come under scrutiny. The BCS commented " France had a single loss against Germany and following a preseason #1 ranking they only fell to #2."

Japan was ranked #3 with victories including Manchuria, Borneo and the Philippines.

guttle11
12-07-2008, 01:30 AM
Germany's SOS was atrocious.

remdog
12-07-2008, 01:38 AM
Ummmm, interesting. :)

Did they take into consideration that the US was actually playing in one of those 'lessor' conferences (you know, MAC, WAC, GAC [opps, sorry that's the G-man :)]?

Anyway, there we were (the US) just bligthly going about our game and all of a sudden we're scheduled against Japan and Germany! Come on! I thought we had Panama and Lichtenstein on the schedule! Darn, without airmail it's tough to keep up the frentic pace of the '40's!

Anyway, since the BCS has finally gone to a playoff system, and we kicked butt head-to-head, I think we'll be number one in '46.

Rem

*BaseClogger*
12-07-2008, 03:42 AM
The U.S. was an up-and-comer and therefore was lowly ranked in the preseason poll... :)

GAC
12-07-2008, 04:57 AM
That's because our head coach (Ike) made some really terrible game time decisions early in the game.

He should have listened to his offensive coordinator (Patton). ;)

MrCinatit
12-07-2008, 07:04 AM
A couple of the German linemen did become quality players for the Soviet and U.S.

Chip R
12-07-2008, 02:28 PM
I saw that on the College Football newsgroup. I thought about posting it myself.

Caveat Emperor
12-07-2008, 02:41 PM
I thought Germany lost to England too. That's a road loss to a much smaller opponent, which I think should've bumped them further back in the polls than it did.

Chip R
12-07-2008, 02:52 PM
I thought Germany lost to England too. That's a road loss to a much smaller opponent, which I think should've bumped them further back in the polls than it did.


Germany had problems with Finland which was a 1-AA team. They won but Finland gave them a game.

Marc D
12-07-2008, 03:59 PM
I'm sorry but if it happened before 1950 doesn't that automatically make Notre Dame or Michigan the winner?

paintmered
12-07-2008, 04:02 PM
Appropriately, Army claimed a 3-peat between 1944 and 1946.

BuckeyeRed27
12-07-2008, 04:10 PM
Appropriately, Army claimed a 3-peat between 1944 and 1946.

Everyone knows the AP doesn't matter anymore.

Caveat Emperor
12-07-2008, 06:03 PM
This thread is worthless without a photoshop of Lee Corso wearing an oversized SS hat on the set of GameDay.

;)

PedroBourbon
12-07-2008, 06:54 PM
Yet just another shining example of why the BCS is flawed. I hope (real) controversies continue every year until a playoff system is adopted. Funny satirical article though, mad props to the author.

Marc D
12-07-2008, 07:04 PM
Yet just another shining example of why the BCS is flawed. I hope (real) controversies continue every year until a playoff system is adopted. Funny satirical article though, mad props to the author.

The B12 just settled their conference championship on the field like everyone is always screaming for and it seems to still have some controversy. All a playoff will do is change what people complain about and cheapen the regular season.

As far as yearly controversy forcing some type of change I'd point out that there has been controversy over the CFB NC every year since the 1950's. How much change have we seen?

cumberlandreds
12-08-2008, 09:23 AM
I thought Germany lost to England too. That's a road loss to a much smaller opponent, which I think should've bumped them further back in the polls than it did.

Hitler needs to explain himself for dropping the running game against England and strictly used an aerial assault. He had to know he needed to soften them up with a ground attack. :)

paintmered
12-08-2008, 09:29 AM
Hitler needs to explain himself for dropping the running game against England and strictly used an aerial assault. He had to know he needed to soften them up with a ground attack. :)

The downfall of the run-and-shoot was the inability to kill the clock when leading. It reared its ugly head again. :)

RedsBaron
12-08-2008, 10:52 AM
Germany had problems with Finland which was a 1-AA team. They won but Finland gave them a game.

I don't recall Germany playing Finland. Russia did have the embarassment of being tied by Finland early in the season, but the game was on the Finns' home turf and the Russian team was then somewhat in disarray, with Russian head coach Stalin constantly dismissing assistant coaches and players, most of whom were never heard of again. Even with Russia's great play at the end of the season, few Russian coaches and players feel secure in their positions.
Japan's number three ranking was hotly disputed by some critics, who noted that Japan had been unable to sustain a great early run of victories. Japan did surprise America early in the season in an on-the-road win at Pearl Harbor, but Japan had the advantage of having already scored several easy wins over such lesser foes as Manchuria and China, whereas the game at Pearl Harbor was America's opening game; most people agree that the Americans simply were not ready and were surprised by Japan's spread offense.
However, after several coaching changes and roster moves, America came on strong in the second half and, in an unusual re-match with Japan to close out the season the Americans unleased a second half aerial assault masterminded by Curtis LeMay to devastate Japan. Some observers criticized LeMay for allegedly running up the score in the fourth quarter (one critic compared it to dropping a second atomic bomb), but LeMay said that if Japan couldn't take it then the Japanese should never have put America on their schedule. American assistant head coach MacArthur (one of several assistants who allegedly have been trying to gain the top coaching spot) insists America could defeat anyone.
Italy began the season highly ranked and an easy win over out matched Ethiopa seemed to justify the ranking, but the Italian team then largely collapsed, dismissed its head coach, and then tried to switch conferences.
Switzerland (0-0) finished the season in the top ten even though the Swiss played no one. Germany's Hitler explained his decision not to play the Swiss by noting that the Swiss insist that any game be played at home and that there would be nothing to gain for a large school such as Germany playing a small independent such as Switzerland.

Chip R
12-08-2008, 11:01 AM
I don't recall Germany playing Finland.


My bad. I meant Norway.

Roy Tucker
12-08-2008, 01:13 PM
Teams caught up to Germany's blitzing tactics.

Japan had an early aerial advantage but injuries at Midway caused them to have to play backups and rely on defense.

Ltlabner
12-08-2008, 04:21 PM
Teams caught up to Germany's blitzing tactics.

Japan had an early aerial advantage but injuries at Midway caused them to have to play backups and rely on defense.

The Japanese had to resort to hail-Mary plays late in the season to have any hope of competing. Those efforts were, in total, unsuccessful.

It also didn't help Germany that inter-divisional rivals had a deeper bench of reserve players. Manpower issues wore on them down the stretch.

TRF
12-08-2008, 06:10 PM
Let's not forget the complete collapse of the Italian team. Poor coaching decisions and a lack of buy in by the players really cost them. They didn't have a tough schedule as they managed to not go up against either Germany or Russia. The U.S was not considered to be an opponent until a last minute schedule rework of the season.

MrCinatit
12-08-2008, 07:37 PM
The Japanese had to resort to hail-Mary plays late in the season to have any hope of competing. Those efforts were, in total, unsuccessful.

It also didn't help Germany that inter-divisional rivals had a deeper bench of reserve players. Manpower issues wore on them down the stretch.

The Japanese also got hurt by being unable to defend against a couple of hail-Mary's themselves. It didn't help that all of their offensive line and most of their D-line was out of it by the end, though.
It also didn't help that some of their D-backs deep in China decided to shovel passes to the other team (us).

remdog
12-10-2008, 08:49 AM
I don't recall Germany playing Finland. Russia did have the embarassment of being tied by Finland early in the season, but the game was on the Finns' home turf and the Russian team was then somewhat in disarray, with Russian head coach Stalin constantly dismissing assistant coaches and players, most of whom were never heard of again. Even with Russia's great play at the end of the season, few Russian coaches and players feel secure in their positions.
Japan's number three ranking was hotly disputed by some critics, who noted that Japan had been unable to sustain a great early run of victories. Japan did surprise America early in the season in an on-the-road win at Pearl Harbor, but Japan had the advantage of having already scored several easy wins over such lesser foes as Manchuria and China, whereas the game at Pearl Harbor was America's opening game; most people agree that the Americans simply were not ready and were surprised by Japan's spread offense.
However, after several coaching changes and roster moves, America came on strong in the second half and, in an unusual re-match with Japan to close out the season the Americans unleased a second half aerial assault masterminded by Curtis LeMay to devastate Japan. Some observers criticized LeMay for allegedly running up the score in the fourth quarter (one critic compared it to dropping a second atomic bomb), but LeMay said that if Japan couldn't take it then the Japanese should never have put America on their schedule. American assistant head coach MacArthur (one of several assistants who allegedly have been trying to gain the top coaching spot) insists America could defeat anyone.
Italy began the season highly ranked and an easy win over out matched Ethiopa seemed to justify the ranking, but the Italian team then largely collapsed, dismissed its head coach, and then tried to switch conferences.
Switzerland (0-0) finished the season in the top ten even though the Swiss played no one. Germany's Hitler explained his decision not to play the Swiss by noting that the Swiss insist that any game be played at home and that there would be nothing to gain for a large school such as Germany playing a small independent such as Switzerland.

Very, very good, RB. :thumbup: :)

Rem

GAC
12-10-2008, 09:04 AM
In the end, the Japanese got burnt by the bomb.

RedsBaron
12-10-2008, 10:10 AM
It is hard to justify France's number two ranking. Yes, France had only one loss, but in that early season game against Germany the French team started punting on first down rather than try to score against Germany.
When asked during the game what adjustments he could make to counter Germany's blitz French Coach Gamelin reportedly said: "Aucune," i.e., "there is none."
Later in the season new French Coach DeGaulle spent most of his time trying to tell the American and English teams how to play and then attempted to take the credit for their victories.

Chip R
12-10-2008, 10:17 AM
It is hard to justify France's number two ranking. Yes, France had only one loss, but in that early season game against Germany the French team started punting on first down rather than try to score against Germany.


France was pre-season #1 and Germany was unranked due to their devastating loss the season before in the WW1 Bowl. France was overconfident and took the unranked Germans too lightly.

texasdave
12-10-2008, 10:23 AM
Everyone knows it's all about the O-line and the D-line; and not about the Maginot Line.

GAC
12-10-2008, 08:50 PM
The only reason the Russians were able to hold on in Stalingrad and drive the Germans out was home field advantage. If the siege had been held on a neutral site it could have been a completely different outcome.

remdog
12-10-2008, 10:48 PM
I have to say, IMO, this is one of the more entertaining threads that we've had on Redszone in a while. :)

Rem

Jack Burton
12-10-2008, 11:08 PM
I don't know, but that Hitler commentary was hilarious.

Screwball
12-11-2008, 06:52 AM
Tough for Germany not to win. They had a ton of training camps.

Stephenk29
12-12-2008, 11:09 PM
Just finished the Band of Brothers series tonight, seems fitting that I just came across this as well.

Plus I'm a history teacher, couldn't help but laugh out loud.

GAC
12-14-2008, 07:39 PM
When you look back on the season it all came down to a group of "old school" coaches fighting change. Towards the end of the season, as the losses piled up, Germany's head coach had to fight off one of his quarterback coaches (Rommel) who made attempts to have him removed because he felt he was taking the team in the wrong direction. Only to have the head coach blow his brains out in the office at season's end.

And look what happened to Italy's head coach! He was shot, hung on a meat hook, and then stoned by irate fans. :eek: