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View Full Version : Residency & Shared Custody - Legal Question



savafan
06-10-2010, 11:42 PM
My girlfriend, the mother of my son, has a daughter with another man. She was going to give up full custody of her daughter, but I convinced her that was a bad idea, and that she ought to go for shared custody. She agreed and her court date was in Hamilton County this past Tuesday.

We live in Franklin County, while the father of her daughter lives in Hamilton County. We have a lease for an apartment here that runs through February. The judge in the shared custody hearing said that in order for her to have shared custody, she would have to move back to Hamilton County, or at least within 80 miles. They basically gave her until the end of this month.

We can't afford to break our lease, so her idea is to go and get an apartment in Cincinnati while still helping me pay for this apartment in Columbus, until the lease runs out, although I don't think she'll be able to afford that. The part that really sucks for me is not having my son around for the next 8 months, especially since we were just building our relationship, and the kid adores me.

Does anyone know if there are any other avenues available to us at all? I'd rather not break up my family if there's a chance that I don't have to, as well as being stuck in this city all alone, which sucks, I know.

Any helpful advice will be greatly appreciated.

TRF
06-11-2010, 11:59 AM
How long is your lease?

KoryMac5
06-11-2010, 12:02 PM
I wonder if the biological father could waive the need for the mother to be in Hamilton County, at least until your lease is up.

Sea Ray
06-11-2010, 12:17 PM
Is he a good father? If he is let him have full custody and you folks can get quality time every other weekend or whatever. Are you sure you need more commitments? You've got your own kid to raise. I don't know if all this hassle is worth it including the strained relationship with the father. If you "keep it cool" with him he'd tend to be more loose about letting you have the daughter when you want. For the record I'm not a big fan of shared custody in general.

savafan
06-11-2010, 12:22 PM
How long is your lease?

Until February.

savafan
06-11-2010, 12:32 PM
Is he a good father? If he is let him have full custody and you folks can get quality time every other weekend or whatever. Are you sure you need more commitments? You've got your own kid to raise. I don't know if all this hassle is worth it including the strained relationship with the father. If you "keep it cool" with him he'd tend to be more loose about letting you have the daughter when you want. For the record I'm not a big fan of shared custody in general.

He does seem to be a good father.

Curious, why aren't you a fan of shared custody?

Fon Duc Tow
06-11-2010, 01:29 PM
Shared custody is not a good thing. Kind of like walking down the middle of the road.

Mr. Miyagi: Man walk on left side of road, ok. Man walk on right side of road, ok. Man walk down middle of road? Squish... like grape.

You take full custody, ok. They take full custody, ok. Split custody? Squish, like grape.

http://tvrecappersanonymous.files.wordpress.com/2010/03/mr_miyagi.jpg

edabbs44
06-11-2010, 02:48 PM
How long is your lease?

In NJ, it is kind of an open secret that leases have zero legal backing.

savafan
06-11-2010, 02:48 PM
In NJ, it is kind of an open secret that leases have zero legal backing.

Is it the same in Ohio?

savafan
06-11-2010, 03:35 PM
What are the benefits toward giving the father full custody vs. the hardship of going the shared custody route?

JaxRed
06-11-2010, 03:47 PM
On various levels I agree with not going for the shared custody. You have a child and a shared home in Franklin county. Make that work as your primary goal. Hamilton County isn't that far away, she can be a non-custodial parent and still be in frequent contact.

Sea Ray
06-11-2010, 06:39 PM
Curious, why aren't you a fan of shared custody?

It's too confusing for the kid. She needs to have one home and consistency in her life. It's tough to maintain contacts with her friends; it'll take a lot of your time and energy to take her to school and other commitments and the parenting itself will be inconsistent.

If you care to read more here you go:

http://parenting.families.com/blog/the-case-against-joint-physical-custody

RBA
06-11-2010, 06:54 PM
I'm guessing you can't sublease the apartment/house out? How about an early termination fee of the lease?

reds1869
06-11-2010, 07:13 PM
Is it the same in Ohio?

As a landlord in Columbus, I won an $8,000 judgement against a tenant who had not paid rent for months and egregiously violated the terms of their lease. A slightly different situation, but proof that Franklin County will uphold a lease. From multiple trips to court there, I can assure you that the judges rarely side with the tenant. A lease will be upheld in court in Ohio; it is a matter of how aggressive the landlord wants to be, and how you handle the situation. I would try to approach the landlord about early termination--most will work with you, but some won't.

Perhaps not what you want to hear, but I don't want to see you in a bad situation. Best of luck to you.

savafan
06-12-2010, 05:17 PM
I can't sway her on the shared custody idea. She says she doesn't want to be helpless when it comes to medical decisions for her daughter.

Sea Ray
06-12-2010, 06:23 PM
OK, what are the employment situations? Where do you work? Your girlfriend, does she work?

What are the issues here? You've mentioned the lease. Are there any work commitments? Would you rather live in Hamilton County or Franklin? Other than the lease are there any other issues keeping you from moving?

savafan
06-12-2010, 08:31 PM
OK, what are the employment situations? Where do you work? Your girlfriend, does she work?

What are the issues here? You've mentioned the lease. Are there any work commitments? Would you rather live in Hamilton County or Franklin? Other than the lease are there any other issues keeping you from moving?

I work in Franklin County, as does she now, but they plan to transfer her back to Hamilton County. The lease really is the only issue keeping me from moving, as I'd request my employer to simply transfer me back to Hamilton County as well.

Sea Ray
06-12-2010, 08:43 PM
I work in Franklin County, as does she now, but they plan to transfer her back to Hamilton County. The lease really is the only issue keeping me from moving, as I'd request my employer to simply transfer me back to Hamilton County as well.

If you can both transfer your jobs to Hamilton County then great, you're very fortunate.

Sounds like the only issue is residency. If the hassle and expense of moving is worth it then do it. Columbus is an easy drive to Cincinnati. You can see them often.

BTW, are there special circumstances concerning this little girl's health? I wouldn't think most families would face controversial health decisions.

savafan
06-13-2010, 12:36 PM
BTW, are there special circumstances concerning this little girl's health? I wouldn't think most families would face controversial health decisions.

She was born with a cleft lip and palate which she may need further surgery on.

Roy Tucker
06-13-2010, 01:28 PM
She was born with a cleft lip and palate which she may need further surgery on.

Off topic a bit, but I very highly recommend the Craniofacial Center at Cincinnati Children's Hospital.

Our daughter was born with a cleft palate and the folks down there, through surgeries and orthodontia and speech therapy and whole lot of care, got her all fixed up. Takes a while, but you do come out the other end of it.

The only effect left is that she plays the trumpet and she had to offset her embouchure a bit. But she's in Mason HS's wind symphony now (most accomplished band) and is an excellent player. Other than that, she's a healthy, beautiful, vibrant, and happy young lady. I can emphasize how great the folks were at the CFAT.

savafan
06-14-2010, 11:43 AM
I'm guessing you can't sublease the apartment/house out? How about an early termination fee of the lease?

Per the lease:

"resident shall not transfer or assign this lease or sublet the leased premises or any part thereof or permit persons other than those listed under Paragraph 8 of this Lease to occupy the leased premises without in each case written consent of the Landlord."

bucksfan2
06-14-2010, 01:02 PM
Per the lease:

"resident shall not transfer or assign this lease or sublet the leased premises or any part thereof or permit persons other than those listed under Paragraph 8 of this Lease to occupy the leased premises without in each case written consent of the Landlord."

Have you talked to your landlord about this? Explain the situation and he/she may work out a deal with you.

danken12
06-15-2010, 05:53 PM
Have you talked to your landlord about this? Explain the situation and he/she may work out a deal with you.

Yep. They are often people who understand that things in life change. It happens and I wouldn't be surprised to see them let you out of the lease earlier than the lease states if you discuss this with them.

Sea Ray
06-16-2010, 12:22 PM
Yep. They are often people who understand that things in life change. It happens and I wouldn't be surprised to see them let you out of the lease earlier than the lease states if you discuss this with them.

I doubt they'll take on the risk. The landlord may say fine, I'll try to lease it again but you are on the hook until I find another tenant. Thus the risk stays with Savafan. Whether he'd have to move out in the meantime is also up for debate