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Degenerate39
01-28-2012, 04:48 PM
I have a 6-month old son and me and his mother are no longer together. They lived with me for the first 5 months of his life before our relationship ended. Now we both have lawyers are are awaiting the mediation dates and court dates (March 30th).

I am seeking joint custody so I can have him 50 percent of the time along with her having 50 percent of the time. She is saying that she will not agree to the child staying overnight with me until he is of 3 years of age.

If anyone knows is it possible that the baby won't stay over night with me for that length of time? My lawyer had never mentioned it to me so I assume she's just trying to intimidate me.

And also she keeps telling me she will not agree to the joint custody and what not. Will her not agreeing to it stop it from happening once it goes to court?

I forgot to add that the baby is being formula fed. She hasn't breast fed for about 2 months now so that shouldn't be an issue in it.

cincyinco
01-29-2012, 04:52 AM
I don't know what the laws are, but fight for every thing you want.. It seems a rare thing in this day and age when a father wants anything to do with their kid, so it saddens me she can't recognize that and just agree to joint custody. It's what would be best for the child IMO. Best wishes and good luck in your fight.. Go after what you want. Look into legal counsel that helps fight for father's rights, because I know a lot of states favor the mother. You have a tough battle ahead I'm sure, so again best wishes.

TRF
01-30-2012, 02:51 PM
Fight.

Mom has no grounds.

klw
02-01-2012, 05:40 PM
Most states have a standard that the court will look at what is in the best interests of the child. Your attorney should know what the general practice of the local court is and the tendencies of the likely judge. It is tough to remember when going through something like this but don't fight for what you want but what you think is in the best interest of your son. The two may coincide but sometimes it may not be the same.

Brisco
02-13-2012, 08:03 PM
I have a 6-month old son and me and his mother are no longer together. They lived with me for the first 5 months of his life before our relationship ended. Now we both have lawyers are are awaiting the mediation dates and court dates (March 30th).

I am seeking joint custody so I can have him 50 percent of the time along with her having 50 percent of the time. She is saying that she will not agree to the child staying overnight with me until he is of 3 years of age.

If anyone knows is it possible that the baby won't stay over night with me for that length of time? My lawyer had never mentioned it to me so I assume she's just trying to intimidate me.

And also she keeps telling me she will not agree to the joint custody and what not. Will her not agreeing to it stop it from happening once it goes to court?

I forgot to add that the baby is being formula fed. She hasn't breast fed for about 2 months now so that shouldn't be an issue in it.

D: First, judges will almost never, and I mean never, award joint physical custody (that is the situation where each parent has the child 50% of the time).

Second, the idea that the child cannot stay overnight with you is preposterous (unless there is something inherently unsafe about where you live). Let her make that argument in front of the mediator and/or judge... it will fail. Plus, it will helpyour custody argument since one factor the judge looks at is which parent is more likely to involve the other in the child's life.

Third, your attorney may suggest joint legal custody... this is the situation where both parents have equal say in the important life decisions of the child... like what religion, school, and so on. It sounds great, but I would not give up anything in order to get it. For the non-custodial parent, what are you going to do if Mom just ignores your input... pay a few grand to go back to court every time you disagree?

Fourth, IF and I do mean IF you do not wish to be the parent with custody, you should focus on the visitation agreement. Do not accept a clause that calls for "reasonable visitation" or anything general like that. Instead, be as specific as possible about the whole visitation process and calendar... and then live up to your part of the deal. Unless you are dying, exercise your visitation every single minute you are allowed.

Ok... I guess that's enough for now. I am a retired JAG who has handled a few hundred of these situations for Soldiers. Feel free to send me any questions you might have. If they are general questions, I will answer them to the best of my ability, but just remember that you have a lawyer and his or her advice should be the one you follow (or you should get a new lawyer).

Sorry you have to go through this.

Brisco