Re: Day before colonoscopy
[QUOTE=GAC;2262434]I've had 2 colostomies in the last 8 years. The reason I had to have the second was simply because they found/removed polyps on the first one.
You mean you had two colonoscopies, right? A colostomy is much different.
I am nearing 50 so I will have to get this done soon. Not looking forward to this at all.
Re: Day before colonoscopy
I appreciate this thread. I'm fifty, and I'm waiting for a call to make an appointment for one of these. I was wondering if Taco Bell food couid "clean me out" as well as the usual method.
I was wondering if the colonoscopy eve prep unpleasantness lasts through the night or does it subside after a while? We are a family of 4 in a one bathroom house.
Re: Day before colonoscopy
For me, it only lasted for 6-8 hours. It was a 6-8 hours worth of sitting on the john, but once I got emptied out, that was all she wrote. The stuff you take is pretty remarkable. It sucks water out from your body and dumps it into the colon with the resulting cleansing effect. Make sure you have a bottle of water handy to stay hydrated.
For those of you avoiding getting a colonoscopy, please don't. They can catch a lot of stuff early when everything is minor and benign. My brother-in-law dodged it for a few years and when he finally got one, he was in stage 4 of colon cancer. Which is pretty much a death sentence. He lasted through 18 months of chemo and lots of awfulness and died at the age of 53 leaving a wife and 3 kids. And its a pretty lousy way to die.
So don't put it off.
Re: Day before colonoscopy
Quote:
Originally Posted by
919191
I appreciate this thread. I'm fifty, and I'm waiting for a call to make an appointment for one of these. I was wondering if Taco Bell food couid "clean me out" as well as the usual method.
I was wondering if the colonoscopy eve prep unpleasantness lasts through the night or does it subside after a while? We are a family of 4 in a one bathroom house.
the "urge" left me about before bedtime...of course, i didn't go to bed until a bit after midnight...no issues in the middle of the night, but did have a final blast before taking my shower in the morning...
don't let the limited bathroom space keep you from getting it done...send the kids off to the grandparents or a neighbors house for the night...
while i'm certain taco bell could eliminate a lot of stuff out of your system, trust me, nothing compares to that liquid stuff they made me drink...without getting too graphic, there were a couple of times on the "throne" where i was going with such force, that i literally laughed out loud at how ridiculously steady the stream was...like a fire hose...yeah, good times...
Re: Day before colonoscopy
Little surprised the Dave Barry column hasn't been posted in this thread yet.
One of my good friends sent me this hilarious email and I wanted to share it here with everyone because first of all, it made tears run down my face I was laughing so hard, and two, if you've had a colonoscopy before you'll know exactly what he is talking about. I believe this is a partial column and the list of 13 funny things patients ask their doctors during the procedure is from another writer. Enjoy!
Dave Barry is a Pulitzer Prize-winning humor columnist for the Miami Herald.
This is from newshound Dave Barry's colonoscopy journal:
I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy. A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a color diagram of the colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing briefly through Minneapolis . Then Andy explained the colonoscopy procedure to me in a thorough, reassuring and patient manner. I nodded thoughtfully, but I didn't really hear anything he said, because my brain was shrieking, quote, 'HE'S GOING TO STICK A TUBE 17,000 FEET UP YOUR BEHIND!'
I left Andy's office with some written instructions, and a prescription for a product called 'MoviPrep,' which comes in a box large enough to hold a microwave oven. I will discuss MoviPrep in detail later; for now suffice it to say that we must never allow it to fall into the hands of America 's enemies.
I spent the next several days productively sitting around being nervous. Then, on the day before my colonoscopy, I began my preparation. In accordance with my instructions, I didn't eat any solid food that day; all I had was chicken broth, which is basically water, only with less flavor. Then, in the evening, I took the MoviPrep. You mix two packets of powder together in a one-liter plastic jug, then you fill it with lukewarm water. (For those unfamiliar with the metric system, a liter is about 32 gallons.) Then you have to drink the whole jug. This takes about an hour, because MoviPrep tastes - and here I am being kind - like a mixture of goat spit and urinal cleanser, with just a hint of lemon.
The instructions for MoviPrep, clearly written by somebody with a great sense of humor, state that after you drink it, 'a loose, watery bowel movement may result.' This is kind of like saying that after you jump off your roof, you may experience contact with the ground.
MoviPrep is a nuclear laxative. I don't want to be too graphic, here, but: Have you ever seen a space-shuttle launch? This is pretty much the MoviPrep experience, with you as the shuttle. There are times when you wish the commode had a seat belt. You spend several hours pretty much confined to the bathroom, spurting violently. You eliminate everything. And then, when you figure you must be totally empty, you have to drink another liter of MoviPrep, at which point, as far as I can tell, your bowels travel into the future and start eliminating food that you have not even eaten yet.
After an action-packed evening, I finally got to sleep. The next morning my wife drove me to the clinic. I was very nervous.. Not only was I worried about the procedure, but I had been experiencing occasional return bouts of MoviPrep spurtage. I was thinking, 'What if I spurt on Andy?' How do you apologize to a friend for something like that? Flowers would not be enough.
At the clinic I had to sign many forms acknowledging that I understood and totally agreed with whatever the heck the forms said. Then they led me to a room full of other colonoscopy people, where I went inside a little curtained space and took off my clothes and put on one of those hospital garments designed by sadist perverts, the kind that, when you put it on, makes you feel even more naked than when you are actually naked.
Then a nurse named Eddie put a little needle in a vein in my left hand. Ordinarily I would have fainted, but Eddie was very good, and I was already lying down. Eddie also told me that some people put vodka in their MoviPrep. At first I was ticked off that I hadn't thought of this is, but then I pondered what would happen if you got yourself too tipsy to make it to the bathroom, so you were staggering around in full Fire Hose Mode. You would have no choice but to burn your house.
When everything was ready, Eddie wheeled me into the procedure room, where Andy was waiting with a nurse and an anesthesiologist. I did not see the 17,000-foot tube, but I knew Andy had it hidden around there somewhere. I was seriously nervous at this point. Andy had me roll over on my left side, and the anesthesiologist began hooking something up to the needle in my hand. There was music playing in the room, and I realized that the song was 'Dancing Queen' by ABBA. I remarked to Andy that, of all the songs that could be playing during this particular procedure, 'Dancing Queen' had to be the least appropriate.
'You want me to turn it up?' said Andy, from somewhere behind me. 'Ha ha,' I said. And then it was time, the moment I had been dreading for more than a decade. If you are squeamish, prepare yourself, because I am going to tell you, in explicit detail, exactly what it was like.
I have no idea. Really. I slept through it. One moment, ABBA was yelling 'Dancing Queen, feel the beat of the tambourine,' and the next moment, I was back in the other room, waking up in a very mellow mood. Andy was looking down at me and asking me how I felt. I felt excellent. I felt even more excellent when Andy told me that It was all over, and that my colon had passed with flying colors. I have never been prouder of an internal organ.
On the subject of Colonoscopies...
Colonoscopies are no joke, but these comments during the exam were quite humorous..... A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:
1. 'Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!
2. 'Find Amelia Earhart yet?'
3. 'Can you hear me NOW?'
4. 'Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?'
5. 'You know, in Arkansas , we're now legally married.'
6. 'Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?'
7. 'You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out...'
8. 'Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!'
9. 'If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!
10. 'Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.'
11. 'You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?'
12. 'God, now I know why I am not gay.'
And the best one of all.
13. 'Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?'
Re: Day before colonoscopy
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Red in Chicago
don't let the limited bathroom space keep you from getting it done...send the kids off to the grandparents or a neighbors house for the night...
Yep. Don't plan on anyone else using your bathroom on your prep day. If you only have one bathroom, it should be solely yours that day.
Roy Tucker's advice was spot on. Vince Lombardi died from cancer after refusing for years to even undergo a rectal exam.
Re: Day before colonoscopy
Re: Day before colonoscopy
I had to have a colonoscopy in 2008 at the age of 22. I definitely agree that the prep is by far the worst part. The funny part is my girlfriend thought it would be a good idea to have the cable guy set up her cable at her new apartment the day of my prep because I could stay at her apartment since I was warned not to go to work. That poor guy got way more than he bargained for when he arrived. Between seeing me gag down the prep 8 ounces at a time and running back and forth to the bathroom, I can only imagine what kind of bathroom symphony he was hearing. At first it was embarrassing, but before long I was too sore and tired to really care. The moral of the story is stay home alone and keep the vaseline handy....
Re: Day before colonoscopy
Maybe different doctors prep their patients in different ways but seventeen laxatives seems a bit excessive. I've had three colonoscopies in the past nine years and never had to take that many. My first time, I took a total four laxatives. I took two at noon and two at four o'clock. I had to drink the gallon of (believe its called Half Lakey, I know I have probably misspelled that) the stuff that tastes horrible. The other two times I have had to take four laxatives (same as before) but instead of drinking that stuff, I've had to take a fourteen day supply of miralax powder, mix it with sixty four ounces of lemon-lime Gatorade and drink that. Much better with the Gatorade mixture then the other crap I've had to drink previously.
Re: Day before colonoscopy
If the mods will let me be a little on the graphic side.... I hope to maybe save a life. I had my colonoscopy 9/20. I was informed when I woke from the procedure they found a tumor. They biopsied it and on 9/22 I was officially diagnosed with having colorectal cancer. The last almost 3 weeks of my life have seemed like 3 years. Not to be disgusting but in the event that anyone else is going thru this I have had on again-off again blood in my bowel movements since around April or so. This was in the middle of summer long issues with kidney stones and a disk issue so I unfortunately didnt see a stomach doctor till mid-August. The colonoscopy was scheduled from there.
In the last three weeks I have met with a colorectal specialist, my chemo guy, my radiation guy. I have had more blood tests, fingers and instruments shoved where they dont belong,appointments, insurance calls in the last 18 days than in my lifetime.
The good news is I am told the following. THey all tell me the cancer hasnt spread to any other organs and seems to be localized. I start a 5 week regimen of chemo and radiation on 10/18. I have my port put in 10/14. The chemo doctor told me this isnt the most powerful of the chemos and that at most I should have diarehea but I shouldnt have any vomiting and or hair loss. I go in on a Monday morning to have a chemo pac hooked to port and apparently I will carry somekind of contraption around like a purse which administers the chemo during the week and then I will go back on Fridays to have it disconnected and will not have to wear it on weekends. The bad news is that I am looking at one definite surgery in January 2011 and a possible follow-up surgery around June or so.
I have my insurance thru my wife and it is a pretty good policy. As luck would have it I signed up for a supplemental cancer insurance policy thru Allstate where I work at a few years back. It will still be rough financially but I will do what I can.
As I am likely running out of room I will continue on another post..
Re: Day before colonoscopy
In the last three weeks I have went thru every emotion there is. I have cried more than I ever thought I was capable of. I go thru depression/fear/concern for my wife and kids/numbness/a constant sense of dread. For me personally it seems to be the worst when I first wake up or when I lay down at night. I have already met with deacons at my church and went over spiritual matters. It is so aggravating for it to be my favorite season(fall) and find myself unable to enjoy the beautiful fall days or the foliage. Being told you have a tumor just permeates your every thought. I can't even enjoy the Reds being in the playoffs. Its just not important to me at the moment.
However, having said all this I met my chemo and radiation docs this week. They were both reassuring and at least for the last day or so some of the panic seems to have faded. I really just want a beautiful fall weekend out running around with my family.
This has already taught me to be so much more thankful for the people in my life(than I already was). My wife has been my rock. I have seen her cry so much over me the last three weeks it makes me feel good knowing how much she loves me. My daughters now actually let me hug them :).....
Re: Day before colonoscopy
Thanks for sharing your story, BRF. I will be praying for you. Good luck and strength for your upcoming chemo. I hope it does the trick, and next year you will be in better spirits to enjoy the Reds post season. :)
It certainly does put things in perspective.
Re: Day before colonoscopy
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Eric_the_Red
Thanks for sharing your story, BRF. I will be praying for you. Good luck and strength for your upcoming chemo. I hope it does the trick, and next year you will be in better spirits to enjoy the Reds post season. :)
It certainly does put things in perspective.
Thanks...:)
Re: Day before colonoscopy
Hang in there. We're all pulling for you.
Re: Day before colonoscopy
Good luck BRF. the fact that the cancer is localized and hasn't spread to any other organs sounds like good news. Doctors and modern medicine have come a long way in the treatment of cancer I hear the survival rate goes way up every year. Hang in there, I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.