After seeing the tread on the Dumbest Scenes from the movies, what are everyone's favorite movie quotes?
"Yippie Ki Yay mother ******." -Die Hard
"If it bleeds, we can kill it." -Predator
I'll think of a few more later.
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After seeing the tread on the Dumbest Scenes from the movies, what are everyone's favorite movie quotes?
"Yippie Ki Yay mother ******." -Die Hard
"If it bleeds, we can kill it." -Predator
I'll think of a few more later.
Which Will Ferrell movie should I start with? Let's go with the best, Anchorman:
Quote:
Brian Fantana: [about Veronica] I'll give this little cookie an hour before we're doing the no-pants dance. Time to musk up.
[opens cologne cabinet]
Ron Burgundy: Wow. Never ceases to amaze me. What cologne you gonna go with? London Gentleman, or wait. No, no, no. Hold on. Blackbeard's Delight.
Brian Fantana: No, she gets a special cologne... It's called Sex Panther by Odeon. It's illegal in nine countries... Yep, it's made with bits of real panther, so you know it's good.
Ron Burgundy: It's quite pungent.
Brian Fantana: Oh yeah.
Ron Burgundy: It's a formidable scent... It stings the nostrils. In a good way.
Brian Fantana: Yep.
Ron Burgundy: Brian, I'm gonna be honest with you, that smells like pure gasoline.
Brian Fantana: They've done studies, you know. 60% of the time it works, every time.
[cheesy grin]
Ron Burgundy: That doesn't make sense.
Brian Fantana: Well... Let's go see if we can make this little kitty purr.
[snarls]
Ron Burgundy: Guess what, I do. I know that one day Veronica and I are gonna to get married on top of a mountain, and there's going to be flutes playing and trombones and flowers and garlands of fresh herbs. And we will dance till the sun rises. And then our children will form a family band. And we will tour the countryside and you won't be invited.
[to Baxter]
Ron Burgundy: What? You pooped in the refrigerator? And you ate the whole... wheel of cheese? How'd you do that? Heck, I'm not even mad; that's amazing. How 'bout we get you in your p.j.'s and we hit the hay.
Ron Burgundy: Boy, that escalated quickly... I mean, that really got out of hand fast.
Champ Kind: It jumped up a notch.
Ron Burgundy: It did, didn't it?
Brick Tamland: Yeah, I stabbed a man in the heart.
Ron Burgundy: I saw that. Brick killed a guy. Did you throw a trident?
Brick Tamland: Yeah, there were horses, and a man on fire, and I killed a guy with a trident.
Ron Burgundy: Brick, I've been meaning to talk to you about that. You should find yourself a safehouse or a relative close by. Lay low for a while, because you're probably wanted for murder.
Ed Harken: A lot of you have been hearing the affiliates complaining about a lack of diversity on the news team.
Champ Kind: What in the hell's diversity?
Ron Burgundy: Well, I could be wrong, but I believe diversity is an old, old wooden ship that was used during the Civil War era.
Ed Harken: Ron, I would be surprised if the affiliates were concerned about the lack of an old, old wooden ship, but nice try.
Ron Burgundy: [answers the phone in a very distressed manor] "Hello? Who's there, I'm talkin? Hello? Who is this? Baxter... is that you? Baxter! Bark twice if your in Milwaukee... Is this Wilt Chamberlain? Have the courage to say something! Hello?
Ron Burgundy: It's so damn hot... milk was a bad choice.
Ron Burgundy: Let's go over the groundrules. Rule number 1: No touching of the hair or face... AND THAT'S IT!
"Can you hammer a six-inch spike through a board with your *****?"
"Not yet."
"A girl's gotta have her standards."
Daughter: "I just, I want what you and Mom have."
Dad: "Herpes?"
-The Comebacks
"Did you ever have a touch to lose?"
Pinkley: [impersonating a General] Where are you from, son?
Soldier: Madison City, Missouri, sir!
Pinkley: Never heard of it.
From "The Dirty Dozen"
My brother and I saw that movie about fifty times when we were kids. To this day, our ultimate put down down of each other is, "Never heard of it."
Lt. Dan: What's wrong with your lips?
Bubba: I was born with big gums, sir.
Lt. Dan: Yeah, well, you better tuck that in. Gonna get that caught on a trip wire. Where you boys from in the world?
Bubba & Forrest: Alabama, sir!
Lt. Dan: You twins?
Forrest: No, we are not relations, sir.
Capt. Spaulding-As I say, we tried to remove the tusks. But they were embedded so firmly we couldn't budge them. Of course, in Alabama, the Tuscaloosa but that is entirely ir-elephant to what I was talking about.
:lol:
Quote:
Forrest Gump: Lieutenant Dan, what are you doing here?
Lieutenant Daniel Taylor: I'm here to try out my sea legs.
Forrest Gump: But you ain't got no legs, Lieutenant Dan.
Lieutenant Daniel Taylor: [mildly irritated, but understanding] Yes... yes, I know that. You wrote me a letter, you idiot!
Dumb and Dumber
Quote:
[after Lloyd trades the van in for a moped]
Harry: Just when I thought you couldn't get any dumber, you go and do something like this... and totally redeem yourself!
Jimmy Dugan: Well I was just wonderin' why you would throw home when we got a two-run lead. You let the tying run get on second base and we lost the lead because of you. Start using your head. That's the lump that's three feet above your ass.
Jimmy Dugan: Are you crying? Are you crying? ARE YOU CRYING? There's no crying! THERE'S NO CRYING IN BASEBALL!
Jimmy Dugan: Did anyone ever tell you, you look like a penis with that little hat on?
Jimmy Dugan: Uh, Lord, hallowed be Thy name. May our feet be swift; may our bats be mighty; may our balls... be plentiful. Lord, I'd just like to thank You for that waitress in South Bend. You know who she is - she kept calling Your name. And God, these are good girls, and they work hard. Just help them see it all the way through. Okay, that's it.
Doc, what the hell's a gigawatt (jiggawatt)?
Randy Quaid in Las Vegas Vacation
"I haven't seen a beatin' like that since somebody put a banana in my pants and turned a monkey loose."
Elwood: "It's 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses."
Jake: "Hit it"
- The Blues Brothers
"Everybody knows everybody's dying; that's why people are as good as they are."
Pulp Fiction is chock full of 'em. Two faves in our house are...
"Zed's dead, baby. Zed's dead."
And
"Ohmigod, I shot Marvin in the face!"
"We've got a blind date with destiny, and it looks like she just ordered the lobster." - The Shoveler, Mystery Men
Matrix: Remember, Sully, when I promised to kill you last?
Sully: That's right, Matrix. You did.
Matrix: I lied.
- Commando
"Man, I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who've ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy **** we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very ****** off. "
- Tyler Durden, Fight Club
"There's a passage I got memorized. Ezekiel 25:17. The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you. I been sayin' that **** for years. And if you ever heard it, it meant your ***. I never really questioned what it meant. I thought it was just a cold-blooded thing to say to a mother- before you popped a cap in his ***. But I saw some **** this mornin' made me think twice. Now I'm thinkin': it could mean you're the evil man. And I'm the righteous man. And Mr. 9mm here, he's the shepherd protecting my righteous *** in the valley of darkness. Or it could be you're the righteous man and I'm the shepherd and it's the world that's evil and selfish. I'd like that. But that **** ain't the truth. The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin', Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be a shepherd. "
- Jules, Pulp Fiction
I have to return some videotapes.
Oh, uh, it's - cranberry juice. Uh, cran-apple.
I'm into... well murders and executions mostly.
- Courtesy of Patrick Bateman
Evelle: [about the balloons he just bought] These blow up into funny shapes and all?
Grocer: Well no... unless round is funny.
Raising Arizona
King Arthur: The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. THAT is why I am your king.
Dennis: Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
Sir Lancelot: We were in the nick of time. You were in great peril.
Sir Galahad: I don't think I was.
Sir Lancelot: Yes, you were. You were in terrible peril.
Sir Galahad: Look, let me go back in there and face the peril.
Sir Lancelot: No, it's too perilous.
Sir Galahad: Look, it's my duty as a knight to sample as much peril as I can.
Sir Lancelot: No, we've got to find the Holy Grail. Come on.
Sir Galahad: Oh, let me have just a little bit of peril?
Sir Lancelot: No. It's unhealthy.
Sir Galahad: I bet you're gay.
Sir Lancelot: Am not.
French Soldier: I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.
Cleric: [reading] And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy." And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths, and carp and anchovies, and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit-bats and large chu...
Brother Maynard: Skip a bit, Brother...
Cleric: And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.
Just watched O Brother Where Art Thou for the umpteenth time. Love that flick, and the character Delmar.
Pete: Wait a minute. Who elected you leader of this outfit?
Ulysses Everett McGill: Well Pete, I figured it should be the one with the capacity for abstract thought. But if that ain't the consensus view, then hell, let's put it to a vote.
Pete: Suits me. I'm voting for yours truly.
Ulysses Everett McGill: Well I'm voting for yours truly too.
[Everett and Pete look at Delmar for the deciding vote]
Delmar O'Donnell: Okay... I'm with you fellas.
George Nelson: Cows! I hate cows worse than coppers! [fires his Tommy gun at them]
Delmar O'Donnell: Oh, George... not the livestock.
Tommy Johnson: I had to be up at that there crossroads last midnight, to sell my soul to the devil.
Ulysses Everett McGill: Well, ain't it a small world, spiritually speaking. Pete and Delmar just been baptized and saved. I guess I'm the only one that remains unaffiliated.
Pete: You miserable little snake! You stole from my kin!
Ulysses Everett McGill: Who was fixin' to betray us.
Pete: You didn't know that at the time.
Ulysses Everett McGill: So I borrowed it until I did know.
Pete: That don't make no sense!
Ulysses Everett McGill: Pete, it's a fool that looks for logic in the chambers of the human heart
"And stay out of Woolworths!"
Hal Williams "Im Dick Blacque your making a porno movie right? Then Im the man for you."
George C Scott "Sorry Im sure your very good Mr Black but your not the type were looking for, but if anything comes up I will give you a call."
Hardcore a very underrated movie.
"The greatest decade in the history of mankind is over, and as Presuming Ed has consistently pointed out, we have failed to paint it black." (Withnail & I)
"Buck up...never say die. We'll get along." (Modern Times)
"Those aren't pillows!"--Planes Trains and Automobiles
Lloyd: What are the chances of a guy like you and a girl like me... ending up together?
Mary: Well, that's pretty difficult to say.
Lloyd: Hit me with it! I've come a long way to see you, Mary. The least you can do is level with me. What are my chances?
Mary: Not good.
Lloyd: You mean, not good like one out of a hundred?
Mary: I'd say more like one out of a million.
[pause]
Lloyd: So you're telling me there's a chance.
Lloyd: Mary... I desperately wanna make love to a school boy.
Harry: According to the map we've only gone 4 inches.
Dumb and Dumber may be the funniest movie ever
"Our daddy may have advanced delusionary schizophrenia with involuntary narcissistic rage. But he is a very gentle person!"
Shonte Jr.: Damn. I can't figure out the atomic mass of this (blanking) deutron!
Jamaal: ***, that's simple. Tell me this-what's a deutron made of?
Shonte Jr.: A proton and a neutron.
Jamaal: Then what's this (blanking) electron doing over here?
Shonte Jr.: I don't know.
Jamaal: Well get it outta there then!
Hank Evans: So, what's your tale, Mother Goose? Where ya from?
Irene P. Waters: Oh, all over.
Hank Evans: Omnipresence. I like that in a woman.
Shonte Jr.: Man how the hell can they call Pluto a planet? No (blanking) planet has an elliptical orbit. This **** don't make no sense.
--John Kreese
Fear does not exist in this dojo, does it?
We do not train to be merciful here. Mercy is for the weak. Here, in the streets, in competition: A man confronts you, he is the enemy. An enemy deserves no mercy
Sweep the leg
This is a karate dojo, not a knitting class. You don't come into my dojo, drop a challenge and leave, old man. Now you get your boy on the mat, or you and I will have a major problem.
Shane Falco: I wish I could say something classy and inspirational, but that just wouldn't be our style. Pain heals. Chicks dig scars. Glory... lasts forever.
The Replacements
Not just one line, and I'm not going to type the whole quote here, but the scene toward the end in Amistad where John Quincy Adams (portrayed by Anthony Hopkins) is making the case before the Supreme Court. Heck of a little speech there.
From the scene atop the Ferris Wheel in The Third Man:
Excellent movie. I was somehow reminded of it recently when I saw No Country for Old Men.Quote:
Martins: Have you ever seen any of your victims?
Harry Lime: You know, I never feel comfortable on these sort of things. Victims? Don't be melodramatic. Look down there. Tell me. Would you really feel any pity if one of those dots stopped moving forever? If I offered you twenty thousand pounds for every dot that stopped, would you really, old man, tell me to keep my money, or would you calculate how many dots you could afford to spare? Free of income tax, old man. Free of income tax - the only way you can save money nowadays.
I'd like to add every quote from Ferris Bueller's Day Off.
I have really come to love the Cohen Brothers since Raising Arizona.....
Leonard Smalls: You want to find an outlaw, hire an outlaw. You want to find a Dunkin' Donuts, call a cop.
Parole Board chairman: They've got a name for people like you H.I. That name is called "recidivism."
Parole Board member: Repeat offender!
Parole Board chairman: Not a pretty name, is it H.I.?
H.I.: No, sir. That's one bonehead name, but that ain't me any more.
Parole Board chairman: You're not just telling us what we want to hear?
H.I.: No, sir, no way.
Parole Board member: 'Cause we just want to hear the truth.
H.I.: Well, then I guess I am telling you what you want to hear.
Parole Board chairman: Boy, didn't we just tell you not to do that?
H.I.: Yes, sir.
Parole Board chairman: Okay, then.
Glen: Say that reminds me, how'd you get that kid so darn fast? Me and Dot went in to adopt on account a' somethin' went wrong with my semen, and they said we had to wait five years for a healthy white baby. I said, "Healthy white baby? Five years? What else you got?" Said they got two Koreans and a negra born with his heart on the outside. It's a crazy world.
H.I.: Someone oughta sell tickets.
Glen: Sure, I'd buy one.
Ed McDonnough: You mean you busted out of jail.
Evelle: No, ma'am. We released ourselves on our own recognizance.
Gale: What Evelle here is trying to say is that we felt that the institution no longer had anything to offer us.
Leonard Smalls: Name's Smalls. Leonard Smalls. My friends call me Lenny... only I ain't got no friends.
H.I.: Wake up, Son.
[aims gun at the clerk]
H.I.: I'll be taking these Huggies and whatever cash ya got.
"You're not too smart are you? I like that in a man."--Kathleen Turner to William Hurt in "Body Heat."
From Chariots of Fire
Harold- "I don't run to take beatings. I run to win. If I can't win I won't run."
Sybil- "If you don't run, you can't win. Call me when you figure that one out."
"As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be a gangster. "
-Goodfellas
"Don't get caught watching the paint dry."
--Hoosiers
Pete: Hey, isn't "Milwaukee" an Indian name?
Alice Cooper: Yes, Pete, it is. In fact , it's pronounced "mill-e-wah-que" which is Algonquin for "the good land."
Wayne Campbell: I was not aware of that.
--Wayne's World
"I am McLovin"
--Superbad
Blazing Saddles....
Hedley Lamarr: Repeat after me: I...
Men: I...
Hedley Lamarr: ...your name...
Men: ...your name...
Hedley Lamarr: [to himself] Shmucks.
[continues aloud]
Hedley Lamarr: ... do pledge allegiance...
Men: ...do pledge allegiance...
Hedley Lamarr: ...to Hedley Lamarr...
Men: ...to Hedy Lamarr...
Hedley Lamarr: That's *Hedley*!
Men: That's Hedley.
Mongo: Mongo only pawn... in game of life.
Hedley Lamarr: There might be legal precedent! Of course, landsnatching...
[flipping through a law book]
Hedley Lamarr: land, land..."Land: see Snatch." Ah, Hailie vs. United States. Hailie: 7, United States: nothing. You see, it can be done!
Taggart: I got it! I know how we can run everyone out of Rock Ridge.
Hedley Lamarr: How?
Taggart: We'll kill the first born male child in every household.
Hedley Lamarr: [after some intrigued consideration] ... Too Jewish.
Monty Python and the Holy Grail
French Soldier: I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.
Sir Galahad: Is there someone else up there we can talk to?
French Soldier: No, now go away or I shall taunt you a second time.
King Arthur: I am your king.
Woman: Well I didn't vote for you.
King Arthur: You don't vote for kings.
Woman: Well how'd you become king then?
[Angelic music plays... ]
King Arthur: The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. THAT is why I am your king.
Dennis: [interrupting] Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
Dennis: Oh, but you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you.
Dennis: Oh but if I went 'round sayin' I was Emperor, just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away.
From "Rocky II":
Gazo: "How about investing in condominiums? It's safe."
Rocky: "Condominiums?"
Gazo: "Yeah, condominiums."
Rocky:"I never use 'em."