Would you want your daughter dating someone with autism? Once the cat is out of the bag, his social life is in ruins.
First of all I want to let you know I sympathize with you. Good luck with your boy.
I think you need to get a handle on how you feel about your son's diagnosis. You can't hide your son's problems AND expect special treatment from others.
That aside, and it's a different problem from this one, I found the best quality coaches/teachers/instructive/mentors for my children usually tought them the best regardless of what the activity was. If the coach has not observed the behavior of his "stars," he's not paying enough attention. If the coach has observed the behavior of his "stars" and has not taken corrective action, he's a putz. Find a better class of coach/teacher/instructor/mentor for your boy, even if it isn't in baseball.