Re: 2007 MLB Prediction Thread
1. New York Mets - This will be the team to beat in the NL for the next five years. Some people, most in the New York media, wailed aloud that the team didn't sign a big name pitcher this offseason, but the rotation has young guys to pick up the slack. The team in the field is all kinds of good and Lastings Milledge is just about ready to make it better.
2. Atlanta Braves - They'll bounce back, but the mystique is gone and without voodoo this team isn't beating the Mets.
3. Philadelphia Phillies - A two-man offense, a bullpen on the brink of ruin and a starting staff prone to the longball will lead to another forgettable season. The most interesting thing for Philly fans will be betting the over/under on Cole Hamels getting a major arm injury. That might divert them from complaining about the Eggles' dime package on sports radio for a few seconds.
4. Florida Marlins - Progress is rarely linear. The Fish are in for a rough season. Expect a summer filled with Dontrelle Willis and Miguel Cabrera trade rumors.
5. Washington Nationals - Jim Bowden isn't a general manager, he's a Dadaist seeking to field a baseball team without any pitching. This team might get him into the Guggenheim.
1. St. Louis Cardinals - It's their division until someone takes it from them. The Vatican will confer living sainthood to Dave Duncan for his work with Kip Wells this year. The mid-season trade for Carl Crawford will help too.
2. Milwaukee Brewers - This team has no excuses. It's good and it's the deepest club in the league. If this team can't crack the .500 barrier and challenge for the playoffs then the franchise is clearly cursed for Bud Selig's misdeeds in 1994.
3. Houston Astros - Outside of Adam Everett (who's in danger of havign Tom Veryzer beat him up for his lunch money), the fielding on this team is atrocious. The offense pretty much revolves around getting something out of Morgan Ensberg, but Fernando Nieve should help form a solid 1-2-3 in the rotation (pre-Clemens). Brad Lidge will permanently assume the fetal position on May 12, 2007.
4. Cincinnati Reds - Adam Dunn and Edwin Encarnacion won't be able to save a team that's too thin to contend over 162 games. The big news this summer will be the trade of Ken Griffey Jr. to the Braves.
5. Pittsburgh Pirates - Jack Wilson should have been traded yesterday so that the Brian Bixler Era could begin. Indeed, fifty years in the future Pirates history will be divided into two groups: P.B. (pre-Bixler) and B.D. (Bixler Domini).
6. Chicago Cubs - Alfonso Soriano in CF will be pee-your-pants funny. Opposing teams will need to track shoes for all the running they'll have to do on balls hit to the Cubs outfield. Oh yeah, the pitching sucks too.
1. San Diego Padres - The Padres don't make headlines with their moves, but Marcus Giles will form one of the best all-around keystones in baseball with Khalil Greene, Kevin Kouzmanoff is for real at the plate and Greg Maddux will fit in great with a good, young rotation.
2. Los Angeles Dodgers - The Dodgers have talent, but did anyone bother to think about how it all fits together? What Juan Pierre, Randy Wolf and Brett Tomko are doing on this team is a mystery too.
3. Arizona Diamondbacks - They're young and exciting. That rarely translates to immediate glory. Having Edgar Gonzalez and Enrique Gonzalez on the pitching staff should allow them to pull the old Killer Bees switcheroo when the umps have their backs turned.
4. San Francisco Giants - This team is as decrepit as the backdrop to a Faulkner novel.
5. Colorado Rockies - Good to see Todd Helton's back on the HGH. He's got a football mentality don't you know. Last year's pitching was a pleasant departure, but it's back to atrocious mound work for this franchise. Sometime this season Jerry McMorris will finally turn to Dan O'Dowd and say, "Good Lord you're incompetent."
Wild Card - Brewers
MVP - Jose Reyes with 20+ doubles, triples and homers on top of 80+ SBs and a batting title
Cy Young - Roy Oswalt's got to win one of these years
Rookie of the year - Ryan Theriot, the only good thing to happen to the Cubs this year
1. New York Yankees - The lineup is almost mythical. It's like Michael Myers, Freddie Kruger, Jason Voorhees, Candyman and Chuckie all got together for a killing spree.
2. Boston Red Sox - Thanks to Daisuke Matsuzaka, sushi sales at Fenway park will soon outstrip hot dog sales. Though having roving sushi vendors walk around in the hot sun during summer games can't be sanitary.
3. Baltimore Orioles - I believe in Leo Mazzone. Seriously, I've seen him in person. I know he exists.
4. Toronto Blue Jays - It's like J.P. Ricciardi sat down this offseason and devised ways of making his team worse.
5. Tampa Bay Devil Rays - Though, like Leo Mazzone, I've seen the D-Rays with my own eyes. I'm still not sure they exist.
1. Cleveland Indians - They'll win the division on the last day of the year when Shin-Soo Choo hits a homer. It will lead to a Big League Choo endorsement deal for him.
2. Minnesota Twins - Putting Ramon Ortiz, Sidney Ponson and Carlos Silva to start the season will not be without consequences.
3. Chicago White Sox - Oops, the pitching's going to rot.
4. Detroit Tigers - Remember last year? The Tigers would be well-advised to cling to it like a beautiful dream.
5. Kansas City Royals - Hey look, it's the easiest pick in baseball. Is there anyone on the planet who doesn't think the Royals will finish last?
1. Texas Rangers - Don't sweat the details. This team just fired Buck Showalter. It can't lose.
2. Oakland A's - Kind of odd to think that what a Billy Beane team really needs is another big bat or two.
3. Los Anaheim Angels - Too many old guys withering on the vine and new guys who are going to take a while to figure out how to play at the major league level.
4. Seattle Mariners - You know, it wasn't that long ago that the Mariners were a model franchise. Cement contractors are already submitting bids for Bill Bavasi's Puget Sound shoes.
Wild Card - Red Sox
MVP - Grady Sizemore, and it won't be his last
Cy Young - Eric Bedard, I know Johan Santana is the best pitcher alive, but voters get bored with stuff like that
Rookie of the Year - Daisuke
Baseball isn't a magic trick ... it doesn't get spoiled if you figure out how it works. - gonelong
I'm witchcrafting everybody.