Using my dad's table saw, I had a slat I was cutting kick back into my chest and knock me backwards five feet into a wall. Of course, I couldn't tell anyone because I had removed the kick back preventer and wasn't supposed to be using the saw in the first place. It took about two months to be able to take a deep breath.
Playing soccer, I got kicked in the calf behind the shinguard one time. It swelled up like a football, a deep bruise that kept me from playing for most of the season. The weird thing was that nothing was broken, so I felt like a total sissy, but honestly it hurt worse than the table saw thing.
Next Reds manager, second shooter. --Confirmed on Redszone.