Originally Posted by Falls City Beer
You were chased around by the FBI? Do tell.
If I tell the story, it doesn't sound nearly as exciting, but here goes:
When I was in high school, my friends and I would go around town and destroy the mailboxes of people we hated. We considered ourselves to be Robin Hood types because in our minds, we were taking away from the rich (or in this case, the bullies) and giving to the poor (the people who were bullied). After high school, we kind of grew out of it, but one night, after having not seen my friend for several months, we decided we should destroy another mailbox for old time's sake.
We decided to destroy the mailbox of my best friend's ex-boyfriend, so we drove down the guy's cul-de-sac, and when my friend stopped his car, I jumped out, ripped off the mailbox, and ran back in the car. Next thing I know, I look out the car window, and I see a man running at us. I yelled, "DRIVE!" and right before the man got to my door, we sped off.
We were kind of freaking out and wondering what the heck was going on. It was late at night, and we thought no one could see us. After we got a few miles away, we noticed that someone was tailing us. My friend was getting annoyed, and then it hit me: It must be the guy who was chasing after us. Soon after this realization, the car (which contained two men) that was tailing us was driving next to us in the opposing lane and yelling at us to pull over. My friend asked if he should pull over, and I was like, "Are you kidding? They'll probably kill us. Don't worry. We'll lose them."
At that point, I was instructing my friend where to drive, but the other car (which was much faster, btw) kept up with us every step of the way. I told my friend that we should get on the highway, and hopefully a police officer would stop us. At this point, we weren't worried about being busted by the police--we were just worried about being severely beaten or killed. I mean, these two guys in the car were obviously crazy if they were chasing us all over town and yelling at us over a mailbox when they could have just reported our license plate to the police.
On the highway, we were having no luck. We tried getting off and on the highway and doing clever turns, but nothing worked. Then, I called a friend of mine and asked him to meet me on the highway ASAP. As soon as I saw my friend's car, I asked him to get in-between my car and the chasers' car. Right after he did that, all three of us went on a one-lane ramp. My friend's car slammed on the brakes, which temporarily prevented the chasers from going anywhere. This bought my friend and I just barely enough time to park behind a well-hid building and turn off the car.
We figured that the chasers were probably driving up and down the street, so we decided to stay put for a while. About half an hour later, my friend got a call on his cell phone. It was his mother, saying that a police officer was at her house. My friend assured his mother that he did nothing wrong and that these two men just started chasing us for no reason. Then, the police officer got on the phone. He requested that he speak to us in person, so we obliged and arranged a meeting point.
On the way to the meeting point, we were pulled over by a police officer. My friend has an illegal substance in his car and was freaking out. I told him not to worry and to just not do anything that would give the officer probable cause to search the vehicle. We explained to the officer that we had arranged a meeting point with a separate officer, and after the officer confirmed it, we were back on the road.
On the way to the police officer, I took my friend's green substance and threw it out his window just to be safe. We met the officer, who was kind of playing the role of bad cop. He said that he knew we destroyed the man's mailbox and that we should just confess to make it easier. The way my friend and I saw it, there was no evidence on us, so we vehemently denied it. We were basically at a stalemate, and then I remembered that my friend was on probation for stealing thousands of dollars' worth of computers. If he got in trouble again, he would have to go to jail and have his daughter taken from him.
That's when I decided to cut a deal with the officer. I told him I'd take all the blame, and in return, I'd buy a new mailbox and apologize. The officer got on the phone with the man who had his mailbox destroyed, and fortunately, the man agreed.
The next day, I went to the man's house, and he was accompanied by the police officer and his family. The officer asked the family, "Well?" and the family said, "No, we don't recognize him." It turned out that my friends and I had been destroying the wrong mailbox for years. It also turned out that the man who had his mailbox destroyed happened to be a member of the FBI, and there was speculation that what I had done was an act of revenge. I paid them for the mailbox (which they had just put up a few days prior), informed them that I had no idea there was any connection to the FBI, and that I was very sorry. I told him we were just being young and stupid. The man said I was very lucky because he was a graduate of UC, and the officer told him that my friend was a student at Xavier.
After all that was taken care of, I went to the spot where I threw my friend's illegal substance, found the substance, and my friend and I had a pretty good laugh about what had happened the night before.