Okay, this is comical. And when I say 'comical', I mean I want to throw something heavy at a wall and/or window. I downloaded Spyware Doctor (which took about 20 minutes, oddly enough), and when I run the program, it tries to do an update, but every time, there is an error that prevents the software from proceeding. The "Smart Update" is being really stupid, in other words.
Are there any other suggestions for similar software?