[Homer Bailey]

Originally Posted by Reds/Flyers Fan

In case TLR and the Cardinals are running out of things to complain about, here are a few suggestions throughout the NL:

Florida - constant threat of hurricanes in latter half of summer; signs in English and Spanish; south Fla. mosquitoes
Atlanta - insensitive Native American mascot
Philadelphia - Italian mob presence in south Philly
New York Mets - Citi Field too far from Manhatten hotels
Washington - constant threat of terrorism in nation's capital

Chicago - locker rooms in Wrigley too small; not enough parking for visiting Cards fans; too many people not paying attention to game
Cincinnati - balls too slick, mound too short, fences too close, fireworks too loud, seats too red, too hard to spell
Milwaukee - Sausage race offensive to vegetarians
Houston - President Bush and Barbara in first row offensive to Democrats
Pittsburgh - Iron City beer offensive to beer drinkers

Los Angeles - Constant smog in eyes and throat makes Cincy fireworks smoke seem quaint; dangerous neighborhood
San Diego - Fences too far; proximity to Mexican border violence
San Francisco - Earthquake prone; Bonds robbed McGwire of single-season HR record
Colorado - mound too high; bullpens too pretty; hard to breath at elevation; heavy turbulence taking off/landing at DIA

This is awesome.