What I found was that, right about when you thought you had a glimmer of hope of mastering the current stage of your child, they moved on to the next one. So I was always one step behind. I can tell you a lot about what worked for them in the past, but not much about what works on them right now
I will say its a miracle more teenagers aren't murdered in their sleep by their parents.
Find your own style and works best for you and your wife. There are many paths to get to the same destination. Listen to everyone, develop a good BS filter, evaluate it on your own judgment and value system, and go from there.
Establish a good relationship with an accountant, a lawyer, a doctor, and a bartender. You'll need them all.