From The Onion: Baseball's Biggest Moves
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Arizona Diamondbacks: Managed to trade their most valuable assets for minimal returns, making this one of their best offseasons ever
Los Angeles Angels: Signed Josh Hamilton knowing he’d feel right at home in L.A. amongst the millions of other recovering cocaine addicts
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Sabermetrics can be boiled down to this simple truism: A batter's goal is to extend the inning. Extend enough innings and you're going to score runs. Extend more innings than your opponent and you're going to score more runs than him.