Originally Posted by Redsfaithful
By the time they are 13 I'm of the belief that the influence parents can have is basically none going forward. What kids do between about 13-21 doesn't have much to do with the quality of parenting at that moment, it has to do with the parenting that was done from 0-13. And even with good parenting, kids will make poor choices and go down bad roads. Do what you can, but if you didn't lay the groundwork it really gets out of your hands.
I disagree. It almost sounds to me like you're implying a parent's job is done at age 13. It's not. There's a reason why 18 is considered the age of majority and why kids who commit heinous crimes under the age of 18 can't be considered for the death penalty even if they're tried as adults. It's because both through historical experience and scientific study, people under the age of 18 often can't fully comprehend the ramifications of their actions.
Parenting is more about knowing your kids and what is going to work and what won't. For most of us, it's a lot of trial and error. Kid does something wrong, you find a way to correct it, if it works good, if not, try something else. For all I know, a public shaming might be just the right thing for this kid. For other kids, it's not going to work. I have 3 kids and the two who are old enough to know right from wrong are completely different. One is very sensitive and just raising my voice is enough to get him to stop doing something wrong (when he was 6, I had to stop watching Bengals' games for a while because he would cry when I yelled at the TV). On the other hand, my other son doesn't get his feathers ruffled easily, is fairly easy going, but has a bit of a bad temper at times and can be very defiant. For him, I've had to try other approaches and it's still a learning process.