November 1, 2002: In a press conference earlier today, Cincinnati Reds general manager Jim Bowden introduced new Reds manager Jennifer Love Hewitt. In her first personnel moves, Hewitt announced that the Reds new hitting coach would be Halle Berry and the Reds new trainer would be Kiana Tom. Hewitt stated that she was sure that Berry's former marriage to David Justice qualified her to be a hitting instructor, as evidenced by the number of Reds players requesting special instruction time from the new coach. Hewitt further noted that Reds player representative Aaron Boone had requested that spring training begin on November 15 so that the new trainer could get the Reds in peak condition.
Bowden expressed optimism that the Reds starting pitchers would complete more games next year, since they would not want to take an early shower before the rest of the team, including the coaching staff, went to the showers.
Bowden also announced that in a cost cutting move, all Reds players will be expected to share a room with another player or coach while on the road; surprisingly, no player protested the loss of private rooms, with an umnamed player saying he was willing to room with the manager or one of the coaches if that would help the team.
In other news, Rafael Palmeiro has requested that the Rangers trade him to the Reds, claiming that he told Kenny Rogers that Cincinnati was the best baseball town in America.
There is also a report that former President Bill Clinton has purchased season tickets at GAB for the 2003 season, although the former president was disappointed to learn his seats would not be in the dugout.
"Hey...Dad. Wanna Have A Catch?" Kevin Costner in "Field Of Dreams."