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Benny-Distefano · 05-18-2006, 10:22 AM

Apparently someone in the Reds organization agrees with you.

Dear Loyal Reds Patron,

Next year, the plan is to enclose each seat in GABP in clear glass, with a tiny glass doorway to get in and out of your seat. As added security, 46,000 individual cameras will be monitored by 46,000 security officers. Any wrongdoers will be flogged, then escorted out of the arena...er, ballpark.

Beer will not be permitted, for the simple reason that all problems at ballparks are caused by beer.

Peanuts will no longer be sold, due to the potential damage that a projectile peanut can cause.

Soda will be sold, but without ice, because of the potential damage caused from ice (freeze brain, crack a tooth crunching ice, etc).

All yellow softballs will first be stunned, then destroyed.

Thank you for your feedback, loyal fans. Here at GABP we believe, for each fan complaint, another rule must be put in place to appease each fan.

Respectfully yours,
Irving Milch
Complaint Dept.
Cincinnati Reds

05-18-2006, 10:22 AM	#3
Benny-Distefano Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 186	Re: Security at GABP... Apparently someone in the Reds organization agrees with you. Dear Loyal Reds Patron, Next year, the plan is to enclose each seat in GABP in clear glass, with a tiny glass doorway to get in and out of your seat. As added security, 46,000 individual cameras will be monitored by 46,000 security officers. Any wrongdoers will be flogged, then escorted out of the arena...er, ballpark. Beer will not be permitted, for the simple reason that all problems at ballparks are caused by beer. Peanuts will no longer be sold, due to the potential damage that a projectile peanut can cause. Soda will be sold, but without ice, because of the potential damage caused from ice (freeze brain, crack a tooth crunching ice, etc). All yellow softballs will first be stunned, then destroyed. Thank you for your feedback, loyal fans. Here at GABP we believe, for each fan complaint, another rule must be put in place to appease each fan. Respectfully yours, Irving Milch Complaint Dept. Cincinnati Reds Last edited by Benny-Distefano; 05-18-2006 at 10:27 AM.