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Thread: Tough Love or Too Much?

  1. #1
    Five Tool Fool jojo's Avatar
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    Tough Love or Too Much?

    Parents Force Girl to Hold Sign as Punishment for Being Disrespectful. Tough Love or Too Much?
    http://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/par...184517447.html

    What do you think? Good parents or bad parents?
    "This isn’t stats vs scouts - this is stats and scouts working together, building an organization that blends the best of both worlds. This is the blueprint for how a baseball organization should be run. And, whether the baseball men of the 20th century like it or not, this is where baseball is going."---Dave Cameron, U.S.S. Mariner

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    breath westofyou's Avatar
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    Re: Tough Love or Too Much?

    The Loneliest Runner method, might work for some, will foster resentment for others.

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    For a Level Playing Field RedFanAlways1966's Avatar
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    Re: Tough Love or Too Much?

    Too much. No ifs, ands or buts about it IMO.
    Small market fan... always hoping, but never expecting.

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    Stat Wanker Hodiernus RedsManRick's Avatar
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    Re: Tough Love or Too Much?

    I don't think it's criminal and without knowing the girl, I'm not going to judge if it was "good" parenting. Good parenting is knowing which buttons to push.
    Games are won on run differential -- scoring more than your opponent. Runs are runs, scored or prevented they all count the same. Worry about scoring more and allowing fewer, not which positions contribute to which side of the equation or how "consistent" you are at your current level of performance.

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    Box of Frogs edabbs44's Avatar
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    Re: Tough Love or Too Much?

    We have entered a world where people are taking social media way too much into account when making real decisions about life. Not good.

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    The Lineups stink. KronoRed's Avatar
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    Re: Tough Love or Too Much?

    Kids suck.
    Go Gators!

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  10. #7
    Oy Vey! Red in Chicago's Avatar
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    Re: Tough Love or Too Much?

    Quote Originally Posted by edabbs44 View Post
    We have entered a world where people are taking social media way too much into account when making real decisions about life. Not good.
    If and when I ever acted up as a child, my parents were not afraid to use a little corporal punishment. Needless to say, I quickly learned to behave myself. Children should have a little bit of fear of their parents.

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    Member medford's Avatar
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    Re: Tough Love or Too Much?

    Good for her parents. The fact that she hugged her mom, shows that she knows her parents love her. Who gives a flip what someone in San Diego says about a teenage/parent relationship in florida. Worst Parents ever??? Please, I'm guessing Asa Semaj wasn't thinking of the crack addicted babies, or children that have been molested by their fathers while their mothers looked the other way.

    I'm not going to discount the pain felt by losing her Uncle 15 months ago, but as someone who lost their own mother at the same age, you have to learn to move on with your life. I doubt this was the first punishment they've handed out, and I hardly doubt getting 3 "D"s is her most egregious sin in the last 15 months.

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    A Little to the Left Redsfaithful's Avatar
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    Re: Tough Love or Too Much?

    I'm not going to discount the pain felt by losing her Uncle 15 months ago, but as someone who lost their own mother at the same age, you have to learn to move on with your life.
    Wow.

    By the time they are 13 I'm of the belief that the influence parents can have is basically none going forward. What kids do between about 13-21 doesn't have much to do with the quality of parenting at that moment, it has to do with the parenting that was done from 0-13. And even with good parenting, kids will make poor choices and go down bad roads. Do what you can, but if you didn't lay the groundwork it really gets out of your hands.
    We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
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    Hisssssssss Yachtzee's Avatar
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    Re: Tough Love or Too Much?

    Quote Originally Posted by Redsfaithful View Post
    Wow.

    By the time they are 13 I'm of the belief that the influence parents can have is basically none going forward. What kids do between about 13-21 doesn't have much to do with the quality of parenting at that moment, it has to do with the parenting that was done from 0-13. And even with good parenting, kids will make poor choices and go down bad roads. Do what you can, but if you didn't lay the groundwork it really gets out of your hands.
    I disagree. It almost sounds to me like you're implying a parent's job is done at age 13. It's not. There's a reason why 18 is considered the age of majority and why kids who commit heinous crimes under the age of 18 can't be considered for the death penalty even if they're tried as adults. It's because both through historical experience and scientific study, people under the age of 18 often can't fully comprehend the ramifications of their actions.

    Parenting is more about knowing your kids and what is going to work and what won't. For most of us, it's a lot of trial and error. Kid does something wrong, you find a way to correct it, if it works good, if not, try something else. For all I know, a public shaming might be just the right thing for this kid. For other kids, it's not going to work. I have 3 kids and the two who are old enough to know right from wrong are completely different. One is very sensitive and just raising my voice is enough to get him to stop doing something wrong (when he was 6, I had to stop watching Bengals' games for a while because he would cry when I yelled at the TV). On the other hand, my other son doesn't get his feathers ruffled easily, is fairly easy going, but has a bit of a bad temper at times and can be very defiant. For him, I've had to try other approaches and it's still a learning process.
    Burn down the disco. Hang the blessed DJ. Because the music that he constantly plays, it says nothing to me about my life.

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    post hype sleeper cincinnati chili's Avatar
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    Re: Tough Love or Too Much?

    I think the answer to this is pretty simple. If you value having kids with good grades over raising kids who are emotionally healthy, then this is probably a good method. If both are important to you, then I would suggest an alternative method.

    The consequences of shame-based parenting are fairly well documented. Even if your kid is thick skinned, this will have some kind of negative effect on just about any kid.

    But.... if you're going to go "all in" with shame-based parenting, maybe take a lesson from this guy:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kl1ujzRidmU
    How, then, are those people of the future—who are taking steroids every day—going to look back on baseball players who used steroids? They're going to look back on them as pioneers. They're going to look back at it and say "So what?" - Bill James, Cooperstown and the 'Roids

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    A Little to the Left Redsfaithful's Avatar
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    Re: Tough Love or Too Much?

    Quote Originally Posted by Yachtzee View Post
    I disagree. It almost sounds to me like you're implying a parent's job is done at age 13.
    Nope, but if you think you have as much influence after that age as you had before 13, you're wrong. And if you didn't lay the groundwork before that age, it's hopeless to start at that point, which is what I always think has failed to happen when I see these acts of stunt parenting.

    Lot of parents want to feel like they own their children, which is a big reason things like this and that video cincinnati chili posted happen. I don't really understand why people like that have kids to begin with, but it takes all kinds I guess.
    We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
    --Oscar Wilde

  20. #13
    A Little to the Left Redsfaithful's Avatar
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    Re: Tough Love or Too Much?

    And LOL I was curious what that idiot in chili's video was up to, because I remember his FB page blowing up when that video went viral, and I see he's peddling multi-level marketing legal aid products to his followers now. Hysterical, and good god so predictable. There is seemingly no right wing hero who won't user their notoriety to cash in in the scummiest ways possible.
    We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
    --Oscar Wilde

  21. #14
    Five Tool Fool jojo's Avatar
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    Re: Tough Love or Too Much?

    Quote Originally Posted by cincinnati chili View Post
    I think the answer to this is pretty simple. If you value having kids with good grades over raising kids who are emotionally healthy, then this is probably a good method. If both are important to you, then I would suggest an alternative method.

    The consequences of shame-based parenting are fairly well documented. Even if your kid is thick skinned, this will have some kind of negative effect on just about any kid.

    But.... if you're going to go "all in" with shame-based parenting, maybe take a lesson from this guy:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kl1ujzRidmU
    This guy was just threatening and violent.
    "This isn’t stats vs scouts - this is stats and scouts working together, building an organization that blends the best of both worlds. This is the blueprint for how a baseball organization should be run. And, whether the baseball men of the 20th century like it or not, this is where baseball is going."---Dave Cameron, U.S.S. Mariner

  22. #15
    Beer is good!! George Anderson's Avatar
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    Re: Tough Love or Too Much?

    I have no problem with him dressing down his daughter and shooting her laptop with the gun. However people who put their personal business all over the internet just amaze me and it screams out to me that they have much bigger issues than just the ones they are talking about on the net.
    Last edited by George Anderson; 03-25-2013 at 07:18 PM.
    "Boys, I'm one of those umpires that misses 'em every once in a while so if it's close, you'd better hit it." Cal Hubbard

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