A hippopotamus walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a beer. "That will be $7.50 please" says the bartender. So the hippo gives the bartender his money and starts to sip his beer. "You know we don't very many hippos in here" mutters the bartender.
The hippo replies, "At these prices it's no wonder!"
A penguin walks into a bar, he goes to the counter and asks the barman "Have you seen my brother?".
The barman asks "What does he look like?".
A man stomps into a bar, obviously angry. He growls at the bartender, "Gimme a beer", takes a slug, and shouts out, "All lawyers are as$*#%^s!"
A guy at the other end of the bar retorts, "You take that back!"
The angry man snarls, "Why? Are you a lawyer?"
The guy replies, "No, I'm an as$%^le!"