Any good ones?
I had one recently at a barber shop in Columbus. I mentioned that I went to UK and starting blabbing that UK football games are 50,000 people talking about basketball. The guy cutting my hair played football at UK.
Any good ones?
I had one recently at a barber shop in Columbus. I mentioned that I went to UK and starting blabbing that UK football games are 50,000 people talking about basketball. The guy cutting my hair played football at UK.
Variatio delectat - Cicero
dougdirt (01-06-2014),RedFanAlways1966 (01-06-2014),reds1869 (01-06-2014)
Opined to a woman that you have to be a special brand of idiot to be hit by a train.
Her father had been hit by a train.
Fortunately he wasn't killed, he only walked with a limp.
Back in high school I worked at Kroger. One day I asked a customer when she was due to give birth. She wasn't.
Asked obviously pregnant lady cutting my hair whether it was her first. There was a pause, and I said "Should be easy, it's either your first or not" She says "Well, my first one is in heaven"....
OMG.....
Bud Selig: "I'm the worst commissioner ever"
Rob Manfred: "Hold my beer"
https://redsintelligence.com/smforum/index.php
CoachBombay (01-07-2014)
The story I tell is when my wife asked me what I'd do without her.
I said "have a condo in Mt Adams, drive a Porsche, and date a Bengal cheerleader".
That wasn't the answer she was looking for.
She used to wake me up with coffee ever morning
alwaysawarrior (04-07-2014),cumberlandreds (01-07-2014),dougdirt (01-06-2014),KittyDuran (01-07-2014),RedsBaron (01-14-2014)
Originally Posted by Roy Tucker
Years ago when we first moved into my house, I was out walking my dog in our new neighborhood. I came across a lady and 4 young kids outside playing. We made the usual small talk and then I asked her "So are these your grandkids?" She responded with "No, these are my kids".
"Boys, I'm one of those umpires that misses 'em every once in a while so if it's close, you'd better hit it." Cal Hubbard
I've had that happen to me. My youngest was born when I was almost 41. At a couple high school functions, people commented "Lizzy, it's so nice you brought your grandpa"Years ago when we first moved into my house, I was out walking my dog in our new neighborhood. I came across a lady and 4 young kids outside playing. We made the usual small talk and then I asked her "So are these your grandkids?" She responded with "No, these are my kids".
Grrrrrrr....
She used to wake me up with coffee ever morning
George Anderson (01-07-2014)
People would see my younger brother somewhere and then tell me "I saw your son yesterday"
[Phil ] Castellini celebrated the team's farm system and noted the team had promising prospects who would one day be great Reds -- and then joke then they'd be ex-Reds, saying "of course we're going to lose them". #SellTheTeamBob
Nov. 13, 2007: One of the greatest days in Reds history: John Allen gets the boot!
My girlfriend showed my a pic of herself, and I did something incredibly stupid. I told her the truth. I told her the picture was bad and made her look fat. Yeah, that didn't turn out so well.
I tried to explain to her that I was talking about the picture, that it was bad because it made her look fat when she wasn't fat, but all she heard was me saying the word "fat" over and over again. All she said was, "I can't believe you think I'm fat."
To get her to stop crying, I told her that I thought she as beautiful as the day I met her, to which she replied, "You thought I was fat when you met me?" and cried even louder.
Moral of the story: never use the "F" word in front of your girlfriend.
Hoping to change my username to 75769024
Do these pants make me look fat? No, your cellulite does!
Barry On Baseball Also blogging at Banished to the Pen.
2 of them.
I've stopped calling people, Ma'am or Sir ........ because I've gotten it wroung a few times now.
My roommate in college posted her wedding photos. I told her that her Dad looked great, it was nice to see him. (Oops, not her Dad..... it was the groom.)
"Whatever you choose, however many roads you travel, I hope that you choose not to be a lady. I hope you will find some way to break the rules and make a little trouble out there. And I also hope that you will choose to make some of that trouble on behalf of women." - Nora Ephron
dougdirt (01-07-2014),JayBruceFan (01-18-2014),KittyDuran (01-07-2014)
Will never live it down, and probably shouldn't...
15 years ago on our anniversary and out to dinner with my wife (who is a "D" cup - it's germane to the story). It's homecoming at the local high school and all these young ladies are coming into the restaurant where we're having dinner, most of them wearing very revealing dresses.
And I ask my wife: "Did your breasts used to look like that when you were younger."
Dinner over. Still married. Still not forgiven.
cumberlandreds (01-07-2014),dougdirt (01-07-2014),KittyDuran (01-07-2014),RedsBaron (01-14-2014),SunDeck (01-07-2014),TeamCasey (01-07-2014),VottoFan54 (01-08-2014),WMR (01-08-2014),Wonderful Monds (01-07-2014)
"And by the way, they're real and they're spectacular".
She used to wake me up with coffee ever morning
Nice response...hers was "no honey, they were better." GACK! @*(&(Y^*%^&
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