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Thread: About to have kids with a 5-year age gap

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    It's showtime! RedEye's Avatar
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    About to have kids with a 5-year age gap

    So we have a 4 1/2 year old son and are expecting a new baby in November. Anyone on here have experience with a large age gap between their kids? I'm curious about different experiences with raising children of very different ages. Thanks!
    "Iíll kind of have a foot on the back of my own butt. Thatís just how I do things.Ē -- Bryan Price, 10/22/2013

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    Re: About to have kids with a 5-year age gap

    Quote Originally Posted by RedEye View Post
    So we have a 4 1/2 year old son and are expecting a new baby in November. Anyone on here have experience with a large age gap between their kids? I'm curious about different experiences with raising children of very different ages. Thanks!
    First off, Congratulations!

    I was born 6 years after my brothers.
    And in my experience the youngest one will be perfect in virtually every way. Anything that goes wrong is probably the older kids fault.
    When people say that I donít know what Iím talking about when it comes to sports or writing, I think: Man, you should see me in the rest of my life.
    ---Joe Posnanski

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    RedEye (05-16-2014)

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    Re: About to have kids with a 5-year age gap

    Quote Originally Posted by Hoosier Red View Post
    First off, Congratulations!

    I was born 6 years after my brothers.
    And in my experience the youngest one will be perfect in virtually every way. Anything that goes wrong is probably the older kids fault.
    Ha! That's what I thought.

    It's interesting, I've spoken to some people who swear by the larger age gap, because the older kid is self-sufficient enough to "help" you somewhat with the baby when it is born (or at least to stay out of the way while you are stumbling around at night with a crying infant).

    Others say that the smaller gaps of 2-3 years are better because the kids share more experiences together.

    For us, having just one child in daycare will probably be a perk, since my son will be in kindergarten by the time the baby comes.
    "Iíll kind of have a foot on the back of my own butt. Thatís just how I do things.Ē -- Bryan Price, 10/22/2013

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    Beer is good!! George Anderson's Avatar
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    Re: About to have kids with a 5-year age gap

    Four and a half years really is not that big of a gap. The difference between my wifes aunt who is second born and uncle who is third born is 16 years.
    "Boys, I'm one of those umpires that misses 'em every once in a while so if it's close, you'd better hit it." Cal Hubbard

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    RedEye (05-16-2014)

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    Daffy Duck RedTeamGo!'s Avatar
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    Re: About to have kids with a 5-year age gap

    My brother is 4 years older than I am. Interestingly enough I feel as if my parents babied him way more than me. I had a lot more freedom and was expected to make a lot of decisions on my own. From what I have learned this is was a different experience than a lot of younger siblings I have met over the years.

    I do not really have any advice to give, but congrats!!! my wife and I are going to start on our first kid in the next couple months and I am really excited!

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    RedEye (05-16-2014)

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    Re: About to have kids with a 5-year age gap

    Quote Originally Posted by George Anderson View Post
    Four and a half years really is not that big of a gap. The difference between my wifes aunt who is second born and uncle who is third born is 16 years.
    True, there are a lot of siblings with much larger gaps. I guess what I've heard, though, is that those with more than 7 years between them tend to grow up more like two only children. Sure, when they grow up they will still have each other as adults -- but they really will almost be two different generations in terms of cultural and familial experiences. The 5-year gap almost goes that far, in that our son most likely won't ever attend the same school as his younger brother/sister. But they will have a substantial time at home together, so they will share memories and the like -- which is important later, for some.
    "Iíll kind of have a foot on the back of my own butt. Thatís just how I do things.Ē -- Bryan Price, 10/22/2013

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    Re: About to have kids with a 5-year age gap

    Quote Originally Posted by RedTeamGo! View Post
    My brother is 4 years older than I am. Interestingly enough I feel as if my parents babied him way more than me. I had a lot more freedom and was expected to make a lot of decisions on my own. From what I have learned this is was a different experience than a lot of younger siblings I have met over the years.

    I do not really have any advice to give, but congrats!!! my wife and I are going to start on our first kid in the next couple months and I am really excited!
    Interesting. Yeah, it seems like usually parents are more protective over the older sibling and then more lenient with the younger one. Of course, all of this depends on the personalities of the kids involved, too.

    Best of luck with starting a family! Best thing I ever did. Feel free to PM me if you ever want to chat about that stuff.
    "Iíll kind of have a foot on the back of my own butt. Thatís just how I do things.Ē -- Bryan Price, 10/22/2013

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    Daffy Duck RedTeamGo!'s Avatar
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    Re: About to have kids with a 5-year age gap

    Thanks, I appreciate it.

    Yes, I have heard from some parents with multiple children they are overprotective of the first child because it such a new experience and when they have the 2nd they realize the kid is pretty durable!

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    RedEye (05-16-2014)

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    Re: About to have kids with a 5-year age gap

    I have a 14 yr old, a 12 yr old, an 8 yr old and a 3 month old. This will be interesting.

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    RedEye (05-17-2014)

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    Re: About to have kids with a 5-year age gap

    That's easy, my brother is six years younger than me, my second sister is 14 years younger than me. We get along fine too, have a lot in common. Sure our childhoods were a bit different due to those age differences but there were a lot if similarities too

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    RedEye (05-17-2014)

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    Danger is my business! oneupper's Avatar
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    Re: About to have kids with a 5-year age gap

    My girls are 3.5 years apart. Once the youngest got to about 3 they became inseparable and have been since. (now in their 20s).
    Before that don't expect much interaction.
    "A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky, dangerous animals and you know it."

    http://dalmady.blogspot.com

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    Re: About to have kids with a 5-year age gap

    5 years is nothing to worry about, you'll be fine. If fact, I would expect your son will show a lot of interest in the baby, pure curiosity if nothing else.
    Pessimists are well informed optimists

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    RedEye (05-17-2014)

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    Be the ball Roy Tucker's Avatar
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    Re: About to have kids with a 5-year age gap

    There is an almost 5 year gap between me and my older brother and then a 4 year gap between me and my younger sister. Mostly my older brother beat me up a lot but also protected me from others. He also taught me all the bad things to do as we've gotten older and my life went on an upward arc and his not so much, the protecting role seemed to switch

    And my sister weren't particularly close through school but discovered each other in adulthood and are close now. So the relationships are not only in childhood but also long into adulthood. I often tell my kids that their siblings will be one of the few constants throughout their lives so cherish and nourish those relationships.

    Pay attention to the open sky

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    RedEye (05-17-2014)

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    On the brink wolfboy's Avatar
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    Re: About to have kids with a 5-year age gap

    Congrats! Well, there's a five year gap between me and sister #1 and a sixteen year gap between me and sister #2. And contrary to what Hoosier said, your oldest will always be your best behaved and favorite. Take my word on it; science back this up!
    How do we know he's not Mel Torme?

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    RedEye (05-17-2014)

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    Re: About to have kids with a 5-year age gap

    Thanks, all. Your thoughts are most welcome. I'm not worried about the age gap particularly, just curious. I am the oldest in my family, and I have two sisters, 2 and 3 years younger than me respectively. We grew up as a little crew, basically, but I was always a little separated -- both because I was a boy and because they shared a room. We all get along great now as adults though.
    "Iíll kind of have a foot on the back of my own butt. Thatís just how I do things.Ē -- Bryan Price, 10/22/2013


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