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Thread: About to have kids with a 5-year age gap

  1. #16
    Member foxfire123's Avatar
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    Re: About to have kids with a 5-year age gap

    Think about it, just as you get one out of college the next one is ready--no paying double tuition. Unless Junior turns out to be a super genius who goes to college at 12, then you're in trouble man.

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    RedEye (05-20-2014)

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  4. #17
    Member cumberlandreds's Avatar
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    Re: About to have kids with a 5-year age gap

    Five years isn't that much. I'm the youngest in my family. There was 16,14 and 9 years between me and my siblings. Despite the age gap we have stayed close all these years with no real problems between us.
    Reds Fan Since 1971

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    RedEye (05-21-2014)

  6. #18
    No half measures, Walter RedEye's Avatar
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    Re: About to have kids with a 5-year age gap

    Quote Originally Posted by cumberlandreds View Post
    Five years isn't that much. I'm the youngest in my family. There was 16,14 and 9 years between me and my siblings. Despite the age gap we have stayed close all these years with no real problems between us.
    That's great, thanks for sharing. Growing up, did you feel like an only child, or did you always have your siblings around? One of the big things they say about the larger gaps is that you don't have the same generational experiences as your siblings. Obviously, this doesn't matter as much when you are an adult, but it does affect your shared memories and cultural reference points.
    "Iíll kind of have a foot on the back of my own butt. Thatís just how I do things.Ē -- Bryan Price, 10/22/2013

  7. #19
    Member medford's Avatar
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    Re: About to have kids with a 5-year age gap

    We have a girl turning 2 on friday and a boy turning 6 at the end of June, so just about a 4 year gap. A little closer than your 5 years, but in the range. I wouldn't expect anything too drastic, but some things to consider/prepare for:

    Your 5 year old may have some birds/bee type questions, especially if the one coming is the opposite sex. There will be lots of diaper changes, perhaps even baths together or your 5 year old hanging around the bathtub while the little one is getting washed, so expect some questions. Nothing too heavy, but they'll notice the differences and ask about them.

    It will take some growing up before this happen, but its envitable that your little one will try to "catch up" to the older one and automatically take interest in whatever they are interested in. That can be a blessing in that they can entertain themselves together on some things, but also a pain b/c the little one will get in the way of the older one (like on puzzles and things) and lead to aggrivation. There is also the fear of the little one trying to do things (like the triple lindy off the back of the couch) that the older one pulls of with grace but the younger one is far to small/uncordinated to try without a decent chance of hurting themselves. You'll need to explain to the older one that they have to set a good example, they might be great at climbing a tree, but a tree ain't the place for a 2 year old.

    Also keep in mind, that the older one will likely want to "help" the younger one with things. Of course their idea of help isn't your idea of help, and accidents can happen despite the best intentions, so you'll need to keep an eye on them even when you think they're playing completely safe together.

    Your 5 year old is going to have to learn that he is no longer the center of your universe. The baby will take up a ton of time and effort, both kids and parents will get cranky from a lack of sleep at time. One thing that helped us the year our youngest was born, when I'd get home from work, I'd grab the older one and we'd head up to the pool for some swimming. He's generally willing to go swimming at any point (even if Ohio weather in June feels more like October than summer) so I used that time to get him comfortable swimming w/o floaties on. He started the summer with floaties all the time and ended by swiming from one end of the pool to the other with no assitance, would jump in, swim back to the top, over to the ladder and repeat the process. Find something for him to do where you can draw one of the parents away from the baby and he can get some one on one time.

    On that note, you'll have it rougher since its near the end of fall/start of winter, but my wife took advantage of the late May birthday and summer break and the 3 of them would hit a park just about every day. The baby could be tucked away in the stroller, often sleeping while she watched our oldest play on the playground equipment, pushed him on the swing, etc... I know the doctors will tell you to hold off from too many vistor's seeing your baby early on to avoid illness, but you can go out in public and keep your baby pretty well insulated. We were at Kings Island about a week after our daughter's birth. It was pretty chilly out (50s) so she was tucked away in her strollter with about 3 layers of blankets tented over the car seat to keep her warm. I don't think she even stirred, let along wake up during the quick KI trip. Build the baby a cocoon and you can get outside in pretty mild weather w/o much problem.

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    RedEye (06-09-2014)

  9. #20
    Member cumberlandreds's Avatar
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    Re: About to have kids with a 5-year age gap

    Quote Originally Posted by RedEye View Post
    That's great, thanks for sharing. Growing up, did you feel like an only child, or did you always have your siblings around? One of the big things they say about the larger gaps is that you don't have the same generational experiences as your siblings. Obviously, this doesn't matter as much when you are an adult, but it does affect your shared memories and cultural reference points.
    After 1972 I was pretty much an only child and felt that way. I admit there were probably some lonely times. But I think I adjusted well and turned out just fine. I think I adapted just about every game I had to where it could be played by one person. But we siblings still share a lot of common bonds through the place where we grew up and the surroundings there. They had kids of course and felt like I grew up with them to a point anyway. I'm sure having a gap in ages is different than if they were close together. But in the end that should not matter that much if they are brought up to love and respect each other.
    Reds Fan Since 1971

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    RedEye (05-21-2014)

  11. #21
    Bread Gloves Razor Shines's Avatar
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    Re: About to have kids with a 5-year age gap

    I have 3 younger brothers, my youngest brother is 10 years younger than me. He's finishing up college now. We're all close but if I had to pick one that I am closest to it's probably my youngest brother. Don't really know what that means but we're the most alike.

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    RedEye (05-21-2014)

  13. #22
    No half measures, Walter RedEye's Avatar
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    Re: About to have kids with a 5-year age gap

    Quote Originally Posted by medford View Post
    We have a girl turning 2 on friday and a boy turning 6 at the end of June, so just about a 4 year gap. A little closer than your 5 years, but in the range. I wouldn't expect anything too drastic, but some things to consider/prepare for:

    Your 5 year old may have some birds/bee type questions, especially if the one coming is the opposite sex. There will be lots of diaper changes, perhaps even baths together or your 5 year old hanging around the bathtub while the little one is getting washed, so expect some questions. Nothing too heavy, but they'll notice the differences and ask about them.

    It will take some growing up before this happen, but its envitable that your little one will try to "catch up" to the older one and automatically take interest in whatever they are interested in. That can be a blessing in that they can entertain themselves together on some things, but also a pain b/c the little one will get in the way of the older one (like on puzzles and things) and lead to aggrivation. There is also the fear of the little one trying to do things (like the triple lindy off the back of the couch) that the older one pulls of with grace but the younger one is far to small/uncordinated to try without a decent chance of hurting themselves. You'll need to explain to the older one that they have to set a good example, they might be great at climbing a tree, but a tree ain't the place for a 2 year old.

    Also keep in mind, that the older one will likely want to "help" the younger one with things. Of course their idea of help isn't your idea of help, and accidents can happen despite the best intentions, so you'll need to keep an eye on them even when you think they're playing completely safe together.

    Your 5 year old is going to have to learn that he is no longer the center of your universe. The baby will take up a ton of time and effort, both kids and parents will get cranky from a lack of sleep at time. One thing that helped us the year our youngest was born, when I'd get home from work, I'd grab the older one and we'd head up to the pool for some swimming. He's generally willing to go swimming at any point (even if Ohio weather in June feels more like October than summer) so I used that time to get him comfortable swimming w/o floaties on. He started the summer with floaties all the time and ended by swiming from one end of the pool to the other with no assitance, would jump in, swim back to the top, over to the ladder and repeat the process. Find something for him to do where you can draw one of the parents away from the baby and he can get some one on one time.

    On that note, you'll have it rougher since its near the end of fall/start of winter, but my wife took advantage of the late May birthday and summer break and the 3 of them would hit a park just about every day. The baby could be tucked away in the stroller, often sleeping while she watched our oldest play on the playground equipment, pushed him on the swing, etc... I know the doctors will tell you to hold off from too many vistor's seeing your baby early on to avoid illness, but you can go out in public and keep your baby pretty well insulated. We were at Kings Island about a week after our daughter's birth. It was pretty chilly out (50s) so she was tucked away in her strollter with about 3 layers of blankets tented over the car seat to keep her warm. I don't think she even stirred, let along wake up during the quick KI trip. Build the baby a cocoon and you can get outside in pretty mild weather w/o much problem.
    Fantastic advice. Thanks so much!
    "Iíll kind of have a foot on the back of my own butt. Thatís just how I do things.Ē -- Bryan Price, 10/22/2013

  14. #23
    Moderator RedlegJake's Avatar
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    Re: About to have kids with a 5-year age gap

    I have 7 kids...2 are adopted. Russ 40, Aimee 38, Mandi 35, Frank 33, Jake 30, Rich 28 and Sadie....TEN. Talk about age gap. Sadie has nieces and nephews older than her. They all get along great - and yes, Sadie is one spoiled little girl!! My wife and I adopted her and six months after the process was final, Dix (my wife) died of a heart attack. So, it's me and Princess now. The nice thing is she has a ton of grandkids for playmates (19 of them, plus 2 great grandkids - 21 total). Yeah, it takes a village to raise a child so I started one.
    No - I am not from State Farm!

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  16. #24
    No half measures, Walter RedEye's Avatar
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    Re: About to have kids with a 5-year age gap

    Quote Originally Posted by RedlegJake View Post
    I have 7 kids...2 are adopted. Russ 40, Aimee 38, Mandi 35, Frank 33, Jake 30, Rich 28 and Sadie....TEN. Talk about age gap. Sadie has nieces and nephews older than her. They all get along great - and yes, Sadie is one spoiled little girl!! My wife and I adopted her and six months after the process was final, Dix (my wife) died of a heart attack. So, it's me and Princess now. The nice thing is she has a ton of grandkids for playmates (19 of them, plus 2 great grandkids - 21 total). Yeah, it takes a village to raise a child so I started one.
    Great story, RLJ. Thanks for sharing! Yeah, from this thread and elsewhere, I'm learning that there is no particular formula for spacing your kids. I knew that intuitively before, but I hadn't thought of all the possible combos there are out there!
    "Iíll kind of have a foot on the back of my own butt. Thatís just how I do things.Ē -- Bryan Price, 10/22/2013


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