This is a pretty community based board so I figure it's alright to post this here.
A few of you have probably noticed that I have quipped about not watching many baseball games this year. It's true. I'v seen maybe 3. I don't care about baseball right now.
I am depressed as I have ever been in my life. I feel utterly and entirely alone. I feel as though I am drifting through life completely by myself and there's nothing I can do about it.
A little over a month ago my girlfriend broke up with me, the first person I was ever truly in love with. I haven't really had a family, and the family I have had has abused me for as long as I remember,
My girlfriend left me for her ex boyfriend who broke into her house and killed her dog during a argument. That's the person who is preferential to me.
I have been in therapy my whole life. I see 2 now plus a psychiatrist who has me on 2 medications, as well as group therapy.
As a UC student, I connect with no one.I have no friends here. I feel completely alone and out of place. I've tried Meetup. I've tried taking classes. Volunteering. I am just a puzzle piece with no place to fit.
For the past ~month I have thought about ending my life every day. I've broken down and hurt myself on a number of occasions. The help isn't helping. There is no light at the end of the tunnel.
So that's off my chest now. See yall later I guess.