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Thread: When life unravels all at once.

  1. #1
    Member Wonderful Monds's Avatar
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    When life unravels all at once.

    This is a pretty community based board so I figure it's alright to post this here.

    A few of you have probably noticed that I have quipped about not watching many baseball games this year. It's true. I'v seen maybe 3. I don't care about baseball right now.

    I am depressed as I have ever been in my life. I feel utterly and entirely alone. I feel as though I am drifting through life completely by myself and there's nothing I can do about it.

    A little over a month ago my girlfriend broke up with me, the first person I was ever truly in love with. I haven't really had a family, and the family I have had has abused me for as long as I remember,

    My girlfriend left me for her ex boyfriend who broke into her house and killed her dog during a argument. That's the person who is preferential to me.

    I have been in therapy my whole life. I see 2 now plus a psychiatrist who has me on 2 medications, as well as group therapy.

    As a UC student, I connect with no one.I have no friends here. I feel completely alone and out of place. I've tried Meetup. I've tried taking classes. Volunteering. I am just a puzzle piece with no place to fit.



    For the past ~month I have thought about ending my life every day. I've broken down and hurt myself on a number of occasions. The help isn't helping. There is no light at the end of the tunnel.

    So that's off my chest now. See yall later I guess.
    They don't think it be like it is, but it do.
    Quote Originally Posted by Larry Schuler View Post
    He has also taught me that even when the Reds win it is important to focus on the fact that they could have lost.

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  3. #2
    Five Tool Fool jojo's Avatar
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    Re: When life unravels all at once.

    Hang in there. Love kinda of cuts deep. Losing in love really isn't a reflection on self.

    This is going to sound stupid but go to a shelter and rescue a puppy. Rescue a grey hound.

    Take it to a dog park a lot.
    "This isnít stats vs scouts - this is stats and scouts working together, building an organization that blends the best of both worlds. This is the blueprint for how a baseball organization should be run. And, whether the baseball men of the 20th century like it or not, this is where baseball is going."---Dave Cameron, U.S.S. Mariner

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  5. #3
    RaisorZone Raisor's Avatar
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    Re: When life unravels all at once.

    If you are thinking about hurting yourself, you need to go to the hospital right now.
    "But I do know Joey's sister indirectly (or foster sister) and I have heard stories of Joey being into shopping, designer wear, fancy coffees, and pedicures."

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  7. #4
    Member Wonderful Monds's Avatar
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    Re: When life unravels all at once.

    Quote Originally Posted by jojo View Post
    Hang in there. Love kinda of cuts deep. Losing in love really isn't a reflection on self.

    This is going to sound stupid but go to a shelter and rescue a puppy. Rescue a grey hound.

    Take it to a dog park a lot.
    That's part of it. A month ago we went to the spca together and got an amazingly cute bassett hound puppy, he was featured on TV and everything.

    He died of parvo a week and a half later.
    They don't think it be like it is, but it do.
    Quote Originally Posted by Larry Schuler View Post
    He has also taught me that even when the Reds win it is important to focus on the fact that they could have lost.

  8. #5
    RaisorZone Raisor's Avatar
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    Re: When life unravels all at once.

    Seriously man, you need to go to the hospital right now.
    "But I do know Joey's sister indirectly (or foster sister) and I have heard stories of Joey being into shopping, designer wear, fancy coffees, and pedicures."

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  10. #6
    Member Wonderful Monds's Avatar
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    Re: When life unravels all at once.

    Quote Originally Posted by Raisor View Post
    Seriously man, you need to go to the hospital right now.
    I'll be ok. I'm not really in self harm mode at the moment I promise
    They don't think it be like it is, but it do.
    Quote Originally Posted by Larry Schuler View Post
    He has also taught me that even when the Reds win it is important to focus on the fact that they could have lost.

  11. #7
    RaisorZone Raisor's Avatar
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    Re: When life unravels all at once.

    Quote Originally Posted by Wonderful Monds View Post
    I'll be ok. I'm not really in self harm mode at the moment I promise
    The fact you're talking about here is a sign you want help. Go get some.

    I was exactly in this same position in 2009. I know what I'm talking about
    "But I do know Joey's sister indirectly (or foster sister) and I have heard stories of Joey being into shopping, designer wear, fancy coffees, and pedicures."

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  13. #8
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    Re: When life unravels all at once.

    Things will be different. Life guarantees it.

    Keep talking about it to those you know, and if they aren't available, they have good help on crises hotlines.

    With medication involved, the hospital offers safe counseling.

    Keep your spirits up.
    "One problem with people who have no vices is that they're pretty sure to have some annoying virtues."

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  15. #9
    Potential Lunch Winner Dom Heffner's Avatar
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    Re: When life unravels all at once.

    I had a friend who went through something similar about a year ago. He was ready to check out- over a girl, felt pretty lost.

    He barely has time to talk to me lately as he is dating a smoking hot chick. Like- so hot you can't go out in public without the troops circling.

    Less than 365 days and it's a new set of rules.

    Let it flow through you, you'll beat it.
    Last edited by Dom Heffner; 06-21-2014 at 12:09 AM.
    If you're watchin' a parade, make sure you stand in one spot, don't follow it, it never changes. And if the parade is boring, run in the opposite direction, you will fast-foward the parade. --Mitch Hedberg

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  17. #10
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    Re: When life unravels all at once.

    I went through a very dark time in my own life a few years ago and I remember watching the Reds and thinking "I don't care at all about this". I didn't care about music which is another of my huge life passions. Things that I used to get crazy excited about gave me no feeling.

    It seems impossible but time helps. Having 1 thing to look forward to or 1 project to work on is important. Eventually, you will rebuild a healthy canvas of things that give your life purpose and passion and love and feeling. My 1 thing was looking for new glasses frames. Seems really mundane but driving to shops to look at frames gave me a thing to look forward to. Waiting for my lenses to be made gave me a few more days of something to look forward to.

    The other big thing that helped me was medication and transferring the relationship skills & intimacy skills I had built with my therapist into my social and personal life. Other people and connecting are important. I appreciate you reaching out here. Let people help you, whether it is a hospital, your mental health team, or a bunch of old jerks on a Reds forums.
    Cincinnati Reds 2014 W-L Record: 76.6-85.4*

    Cincinnati Reds 2015 W-L Record: TBA

    *UPDATED: 2/11/2014

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  19. #11
    Member jimbo's Avatar
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    Re: When life unravels all at once.

    About a year and a half ago, my brother made an attempt to end his life. He had lost his job a few years prior, and was in the final process of losing his house. One morning he decided to go into his garage and start his car with the door down. Thankfully, a good friend of his contacted us just in time to get to him.

    In the days and weeks after, he got counseling and got into a program that helped him get some schooling. He finished that up last month and just this morning got a call from a company offering him a job.

    I guess I'm telling you this because there are people and programs out there who will help you get your life to a place of happiness. You just need to find the right ones. Please don't give up. You can get out of this rut. My brother is the perfect example.

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  21. #12
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    Re: When life unravels all at once.

    WM, I can relate to a lot of that.

    I've even thought about letting it all out on RZ just to get the words out there rather than keeping it all up inside.

    My dad died a week after turning 49 back in February. He went from fully healthy, or so it all seemed that way, in June of 2013, to an escalation from you have congestive heart failure (which they said still gave him a few decades to live possibly) to ameloidosis (which was given 5-7 years) to gone all in a matter of months. I still struggle dealing with it on a daily basis. I break down over it more today than I did the first month or two after he was gone. It's incredibly hard on me.

    Since he's been gone I've been spending a lot of time with one of my best friends. She's divorced and has two kids. I've known her for over 10 years. Spending all of that time together wound up with me developing feelings for her, but I never said a thing about it because she seemed to still be recovering from her divorce. She has two days a week where she gets out and does things with the kids. For the last two months or so, both of those days have involved me. Still, I kept quiet, I didn't try anything because she was still dealing with everything. Then last week she started talking about how some guy had asked her out and she said no, but was reconsidering it. So I told her how I felt. If she was going to get back out there, why not me? Her reaction could have been worse I guess, but she basically seemed offended that I even asked her to go out on a real date. She questioned my friendship, saying that I clearly didn't care about it. Mind you, I've known this girl for 10 years, I've stuck around that whole time. When she had a kid with a piece of crap at 19, I stuck around when a lot of other people in our group bailed on her. When she decided to marry someone who was a raging alcoholic (a mutual friend of ours) because she thought it would change when they got married, I stuck around. When she finally left him, I stuck around. All the while I didn't have feelings for her. But something changed last winter and slowly I started having feelings and then this spring they just got stronger. I put myself out there to someone who I felt was one of my best friends and she reacted in a really crappy way. I was ok with her saying no. It was all of the other stuff she said that really messed with my feelings. We haven't talked in nearly a week and I honestly don't know where to go with things involving her right now. Oh, and the guy she's considering that date with? Well, hey, the things she likes about him is how nice he is, that he understands what she went through with her ex-husband and all of that. Oh, and he is in recovery for something, though he has been clean from whatever it is, for about a year. But yeah, that guy's a better option than me.

    I get where you are coming from with all of that kind of stuff. I'm honestly an emotional disaster right now. I've let my work slack off because my only way to deal with it all at times is just to get in bed and sleep.

    I however can't relate with the idea of ending things though. Think about it this way my friend: If things are so bad, there is nowhere to go but up. They are going to get better. Don't miss out on all of the good times to come.

    Get out there. Find something that will occupy some of your time and something that you could enjoy. I don't know what that could be, but there is something out there for you. I enjoy just getting on my bike and going for a ride for 10 miles. It helps clear my head up some.

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  23. #13
    Member Wonderful Monds's Avatar
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    Re: When life unravels all at once.

    Quote Originally Posted by dougdirt View Post
    WM, I can relate to a lot of that.

    I've even thought about letting it all out on RZ just to get the words out there rather than keeping it all up inside.

    My dad died a week after turning 49 back in February. He went from fully healthy, or so it all seemed that way, in June of 2013, to an escalation from you have congestive heart failure (which they said still gave him a few decades to live possibly) to ameloidosis (which was given 5-7 years) to gone all in a matter of months. I still struggle dealing with it on a daily basis. I break down over it more today than I did the first month or two after he was gone. It's incredibly hard on me.

    Since he's been gone I've been spending a lot of time with one of my best friends. She's divorced and has two kids. I've known her for over 10 years. Spending all of that time together wound up with me developing feelings for her, but I never said a thing about it because she seemed to still be recovering from her divorce. She has two days a week where she gets out and does things with the kids. For the last two months or so, both of those days have involved me. Still, I kept quiet, I didn't try anything because she was still dealing with everything. Then last week she started talking about how some guy had asked her out and she said no, but was reconsidering it. So I told her how I felt. If she was going to get back out there, why not me? Her reaction could have been worse I guess, but she basically seemed offended that I even asked her to go out on a real date. She questioned my friendship, saying that I clearly didn't care about it. Mind you, I've known this girl for 10 years, I've stuck around that whole time. When she had a kid with a piece of crap at 19, I stuck around when a lot of other people in our group bailed on her. When she decided to marry someone who was a raging alcoholic (a mutual friend of ours) because she thought it would change when they got married, I stuck around. When she finally left him, I stuck around. All the while I didn't have feelings for her. But something changed last winter and slowly I started having feelings and then this spring they just got stronger. I put myself out there to someone who I felt was one of my best friends and she reacted in a really crappy way. I was ok with her saying no. It was all of the other stuff she said that really messed with my feelings. We haven't talked in nearly a week and I honestly don't know where to go with things involving her right now. Oh, and the guy she's considering that date with? Well, hey, the things she likes about him is how nice he is, that he understands what she went through with her ex-husband and all of that. Oh, and he is in recovery for something, though he has been clean from whatever it is, for about a year. But yeah, that guy's a better option than me.

    I get where you are coming from with all of that kind of stuff. I'm honestly an emotional disaster right now. I've let my work slack off because my only way to deal with it all at times is just to get in bed and sleep.

    I however can't relate with the idea of ending things though. Think about it this way my friend: If things are so bad, there is nowhere to go but up. They are going to get better. Don't miss out on all of the good times to come.

    Get out there. Find something that will occupy some of your time and something that you could enjoy. I don't know what that could be, but there is something out there for you. I enjoy just getting on my bike and going for a ride for 10 miles. It helps clear my head up some.
    Thabks for putting your story out Doug it probably helped you to do that too. It definitely helps to relate.
    They don't think it be like it is, but it do.
    Quote Originally Posted by Larry Schuler View Post
    He has also taught me that even when the Reds win it is important to focus on the fact that they could have lost.

  24. #14
    Member Wonderful Monds's Avatar
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    Re: When life unravels all at once.

    Quote Originally Posted by Larry Schuler View Post
    I went through a very dark time in my own life a few years ago and I remember watching the Reds and thinking "I don't care at all about this". I didn't care about music which is another of my huge life passions. Things that I used to get crazy excited about gave me no feeling.

    It seems impossible but time helps. Having 1 thing to look forward to or 1 project to work on is important. Eventually, you will rebuild a healthy canvas of things that give your life purpose and passion and love and feeling. My 1 thing was looking for new glasses frames. Seems really mundane but driving to shops to look at frames gave me a thing to look forward to. Waiting for my lenses to be made gave me a few more days of something to look forward to.

    The other big thing that helped me was medication and transferring the relationship skills & intimacy skills I had built with my therapist into my social and personal life. Other people and connecting are important. I appreciate you reaching out here. Let people help you, whether it is a hospital, your mental health team, or a bunch of old jerks on a Reds forums.
    I guess that's kinda where I've been at, literally even with my glasses, which I just got.
    They don't think it be like it is, but it do.
    Quote Originally Posted by Larry Schuler View Post
    He has also taught me that even when the Reds win it is important to focus on the fact that they could have lost.

  25. #15
    Five Tool Fool jojo's Avatar
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    Re: When life unravels all at once.

    Hey, the Reds play today.
    "This isnít stats vs scouts - this is stats and scouts working together, building an organization that blends the best of both worlds. This is the blueprint for how a baseball organization should be run. And, whether the baseball men of the 20th century like it or not, this is where baseball is going."---Dave Cameron, U.S.S. Mariner


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