Tried talking directly to my insurance company and the only list of things that they'd cover they would give me is psychiatric hospitals, which isn't what I need and...they wouldn't cover in the first place, since I'm not in a crisis situation. So they were a dead end too.
Lots of dead ends is all I'm finding. Don't know what happened, if something went wrong with the anti-depressants or what, but today was awful. Spending the holiday alone hurt pretty bad as well.
Talked to the ex as well. She's not doing well either, and is seeing someone else again now, in a reallllly strange situation (basically she's with a guy way too young for her and she's only 21 herself.)