I talked to my ex for the first time in the past month and a half, she actually broke up with her ex-reboyfriend. But she decided to start seeing someone else, and I expected us to reunite when that didn't work out (mostly because that's what she said she would do.) She also made some major life changes and decisions over the course of the week. And it turns out she has borderline personality, she told me.
So I'm still here, sorry I haven't thanked everyone who responded, I may be in and out depending on treatment, I'm at rock bottom right now.