Birth to 18: Live at home in some other Midwestern state
18-23: College at a Big 10 or MAC School (5 year plan, graduate with a business or communications degree, fraternity or sorority member)
23-25: Live at home with parents, constantly complain about how they want to move to a real city like Chicago.
25-26: Move to Chicago to be closer to friends from college.
26-32: Buy Cubs gear, drink heavily in Wrigleyville, occasionally see the inside of stadium.
32-33: Begin complaining about Chicago winters, cost of living in Chicago
33-34: Move home to be "closer to parents"
34-Death: Deny ever having been a Cubs fan.