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Thread: How to Troll Fans of All 30 Teams

  1. #31
    Titanic Struggles Caveat Emperor's Avatar
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    Re: How to Troll Fans of All 30 Teams

    Quote Originally Posted by Rojo View Post
    They are too busy drinking beer and socializing with their post-college friends out in the bleachers and accepting losing as if it were totally cool to get trolled by anyone. When the Cubs win the World Series, they will all claim to be “lifelong Cubs fans,” downplaying the fact that, until three years ago, they were business students at some Big Ten university somewhere and only moved to Chicago because their fraternity/sorority mates did.
    The "Cub Fan" Lifecycle:

    Birth to 18: Live at home in some other Midwestern state

    18-23: College at a Big 10 or MAC School (5 year plan, graduate with a business or communications degree, fraternity or sorority member)

    23-25: Live at home with parents, constantly complain about how they want to move to a real city like Chicago.

    25-26: Move to Chicago to be closer to friends from college.

    26-32: Buy Cubs gear, drink heavily in Wrigleyville, occasionally see the inside of stadium.

    32-33: Begin complaining about Chicago winters, cost of living in Chicago

    33-34: Move home to be "closer to parents"

    34-Death: Deny ever having been a Cubs fan.
    Championships Matter.
    23 Years and Counting...

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  4. #32
    Grouch ac084c's Avatar
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    Re: How to Troll Fans of All 30 Teams

    and they hate players on other teams who do well against the Cardinals or in the general space which the Cardinals inhabit.
    Isn't this true of most fans about players who do well against their clubs?

    Reds fans hate Yadier Molina. (I realize some of your hate is rooted in the whole neck tattoos thing and the phillips dust-up)
    Pittsburgh fans hated Albert Pujols
    Mets fans hate Yadier Molina.
    Nationals fans hate Pete Kozma.

    Etc.
    I don't like to sound egotistical, but every time I stepped up to the plate with a bat in my hands, I couldn't help but feel sorry for the pitcher.
    -Rogers Hornsby

  5. #33
    Hisssssssss Yachtzee's Avatar
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    Re: How to Troll Fans of All 30 Teams

    Quote Originally Posted by Caveat Emperor View Post
    The "Cub Fan" Lifecycle:

    Birth to 18: Live at home in some other Midwestern state

    18-23: College at a Big 10 or MAC School (5 year plan, graduate with a business or communications degree, fraternity or sorority member)

    23-25: Live at home with parents, constantly complain about how they want to move to a real city like Chicago.

    25-26: Move to Chicago to be closer to friends from college.

    26-32: Buy Cubs gear, drink heavily in Wrigleyville, occasionally see the inside of stadium.

    32-33: Begin complaining about Chicago winters, cost of living in Chicago

    33-34: Move home to be "closer to parents"

    34-Death: Deny ever having been a Cubs fan.
    It's funny because it's true. My brother and his his friends followed this exact tragectory, except they moved directly from Miami University to Chicago, skipping the living at home part. Moving to Lincoln Park or Wrigleyville is such a Miami move that they have their own alumni bar. I can remember when they would stand in line in the dead of winter to buy up tickets to the Wrigley Field bleachers. Of course, I can't complain too much, since it is through them that I met my wife.
    Burn down the disco. Hang the blessed DJ. Because the music that he constantly plays, it says nothing to me about my life.

  6. #34
    Knowledge Is Good Big Klu's Avatar
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    Re: How to Troll Fans of All 30 Teams

    Quote Originally Posted by Yachtzee View Post
    It's funny because it's true. My brother and his his friends followed this exact tragectory, except they moved directly from Miami University to Chicago, skipping the living at home part. Moving to Lincoln Park or Wrigleyville is such a Miami move that they have their own alumni bar. I can remember when they would stand in line in the dead of winter to buy up tickets to the Wrigley Field bleachers..
    Yet another reason to loathe Fiami.
    Last edited by Big Klu; 07-26-2014 at 02:53 PM.
    Eric Stratton, Rush Chairman. Damn glad to meet ya.

  7. #35
    Hisssssssss Yachtzee's Avatar
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    Re: How to Troll Fans of All 30 Teams

    Quote Originally Posted by Big Klu View Post
    Yet another reason to loathe Fiami.
    By the way, the way to troll Miami University grads is to refer to it as the "so-called" Harvard of the Midwest andthen ask them where their law school and medical school are ranked.
    Burn down the disco. Hang the blessed DJ. Because the music that he constantly plays, it says nothing to me about my life.

  8. #36
    Your killin' me Smalls! StillFunkyB's Avatar
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    Re: How to Troll Fans of All 30 Teams

    This article is awesome.
    "And the fact that watching him pitch is like having someone poop on your soul." FCB on Gary Majewski

  9. #37
    Titanic Struggles Caveat Emperor's Avatar
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    Re: How to Troll Fans of All 30 Teams

    Quote Originally Posted by Yachtzee View Post
    By the way, the way to troll Miami University grads is to refer to it as the "so-called" Harvard of the Midwest andthen ask them where their law school and medical school are ranked.
    Or call it what it really is -- a knock-off Ohio University with a way lamer Halloween party.
    Championships Matter.
    23 Years and Counting...


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