You know what your problem is, Phil? You need to move up here to the city. Lotsa pretty ladies who are looking for a guy. Unfortunately for the ladies (and fortunately for you), a good number of the guys are also looking for a guy.
Plus, we have things like paved roads and indoor plumbing.
Fortunately for me, I never had to wonder whether I was with the right lady. Early on, Mrs. fan simply told me that she was the one for me. By then, I'd learned not to argue with her.
Phil,
You need to take control back in this situation. Seriously.
You should go up to her today and tell her "Hey babe, never turn on a machine you don't know how to operate".
Now she knows you're interested. You need to be aloof, indifferent, show no weakness, like it didn't hurt at all. Women want what they can't have, and you have to withhold your Philness.
Yeah, I know. That's game playing. But you need to regain your confidence around her and let her know she didn't deal you a death blow. No moving to Alaska for you, mister.
We'll go down in history as the first society that wouldn't save itself because it wasn't cost effective ~ Kurt Vonnegut
You bet your butt that's what you have to do.Now she knows you're interested. You need to be aloof, indifferent, show no weakness, like it didn't hurt at all.
Why?
Because if it doesn't ever work you'll already have a head start getting on with your life.
I have this hanging on my office wall and read it daily.
"It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled, or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena; whose face is marred by the dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions and spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best, knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who, at worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly; so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory or defeat."
THEODORE ROOSEVELT
(Paris Sorbonne,1910)
Or as golfers say, "never up, never in".
That's good advice from Dave, Phil. Take it.
You guys will never figure us out, will you?Originally posted by RFS62
You need to be aloof, indifferent, show no weakness, like it didn't hurt at all. Women want what they can't have, and you have to withhold your Philness.
If I was Ms X and Phil pulled that "aloof" crap, I would think, "what I jerk, I was right to not get involved".
On the other had, if Phil continues to act like the the same ole Phil, I would think "this guy has his stuff together. I rejected him and he still wants to be my bud, he's okay. If it doesn't work out between us, maybe I can introduce him to my playboy bunny friends."
Okay, I just threw in the last line, that part might not really happen.
Will trade this space for a #1 starter.
Bless her heart, if only for entertainment purposes.
This has to be one of the funniest threads I've read in ages.
I'm sure she doesn't have a clue what she's passing up!
"Whatever you choose, however many roads you travel, I hope that you choose not to be a lady. I hope you will find some way to break the rules and make a little trouble out there. And I also hope that you will choose to make some of that trouble on behalf of women." - Nora Ephron
Creek, you don't watch Seinfeld do you.
:evilgrin:
Grape works as a soda. Sort of as a gum. I wonder why it doesn't work as a pie. Grape pie? There's no grape pie. - Larry David
Roy's piece was inspiring, but i have this hanging in my office (ok, it's a cubicle... sue me)
"Never be afraid to share your dreams with the world, because there's nothing the world loves more than the taste of really sweet dreams."
They get dish network in alaska phil. After the night i had, i am ready to climb mount olympus and kick the crap out of zeus for giving us pandora.
I went through this same thing once. And I agree with WOY 100%
Dubito Ergo Cogito Ergo Sum.
Originally posted by creek14
If I was Ms X and Phil pulled that "aloof" crap, I would think, "what I jerk, I was right to not get involved".
On the other had, if Phil continues to act like the the same ole Phil, I would think "this guy has his stuff together. I rejected him and he still wants to be my bud, he's okay.
I see your point. In fact, I'm sure I've heard my wife and her friends quoting Cosmo articles like that many times. :evilgrin:
The "aloof" suggestion is more in lines with showing you're not mortally wounded. If Phil laid his feelings out there, and she was surprised, he opened himself up big time, and that takes a ton of guts. The last impression he needs to create is one of being wounded or embarrassed or that there was something wrong in his baring his soul.
If Phil thinks enough of her to want a relationship, then she's no doubt a pretty cool chick. And if she's equally sensitive and cares about him as a friend, I'll bet she is worried that she hurt his feelings and damaged the friendship. If it was as dramatic a moment as his description suggests, I would bet that there are uneasy feelings on both sides, and when I suggested "aloof", I don't mean ignore her, just don't show any pain.
Kind of like when you get hit by a pitch, you don't rub it... you trot down to first.
We'll go down in history as the first society that wouldn't save itself because it wasn't cost effective ~ Kurt Vonnegut
Man, that's pure "unlucky friend" territory. How old is she? Because that sounds like something a girl might do when she hasn't figured out what to do with men yet.Originally posted by Raisor
See, she did all that, well, except for the IMing thing, since they'd take away her computer at work if she did that.
She's also very "touchy" (lots of hugs, using my arm as a pillow (I'm soft and mushy I guess), so that probably got me all discombobulated too.
Plus, she's really really hot.
:hat:
I'm actually not giving up, I'm going to give it some time, then try again in six or seven years.
And stay away from Alaska. Bad ratio. I had a friend working in a fishery up there and he said that it's pretty pathetic how all guys do all day is talk about women even though there's practically none around.
I'm not a system player. I am a system.
See, she did all that, well, except for the IMing thing, since they'd take away her computer at work if she did that.For what its worth, I was in the same situation a year ago saturday. She was my best friend through undergrad years, but I had always secretly wanted more. So when I got the moxy and told her, the response was probably similar to what you got.I've made the HUGE mistake of falling for one of these chicks. I told her today, and, unfortunatly, it went pretty much like I thought it would.
However, I didnt take that as a debacle. We continued hanging out and functioning as best friend, which was great at times and horrible at times, but i hung in there.
So where does this all lead? We had a fight didnt talk for awhile, started hanging out again. Then........what do ya know she comes to me and tells me she wants more...weve been together a month this past sunday.
my secret....dont give up! continue to hang out (it gets easier after awhile)...but DATE DATE DATE and then DATE some more with other people...not to play a jealous game but to get it out of your system and renew that confidence! (thats number 1)
through all of this you are going to see who she really is and see if she is worth it...you get the oppurtunity to do this without the strings of being together and other "things" blinding you
hang in there .
I HOPE OUR WIVES DON'T READ THIS THREAD MEN!
We'll act like whining pups who just piddled on Momma's carpet! :evilgrin:
And as much as I liked Roy's piece... does that describe a gladiator or a husband?
"In my day you had musicians who experimented with drugs. Now it's druggies experimenting with music" - Alfred G Clark (circa 1972)
For the record, I completely concur with creek's perspective here Phil.
I wouldn't walk around like someone just shot your dog, but I also wouldn't go into work tomorrow acting like nothing ever happened.
Just be yourself, and continue to be her friend. I think women (well this is just me but I speak for us as a whole) appreciate honestly *MUCH* more than silly games.
It's definitely going to take time to get over this, but I wouldn't totally take yourself out of the game here yet.
Perhaps she was surprised knowing that you had feelings for her, and didn't really know how to react. I've seen that happen quite a few times.
If not, it's her loss and not yours.
There are still plenty of women out there who know what OPS means!
I don't know if that's a bright side given that we're Reds fans.And look at the bright side, pitcher and catchers report in about three months.
Personally, I'm kind of enjoying staying away from it.
Sorry to hijack the thread, back to Phil.
Posting Permissions
|
Board Moderators may, at their discretion and judgment, delete and/or edit any messages that violate any of the following guidelines: 1. Explicit references to alleged illegal or unlawful acts. 2. Graphic sexual descriptions. 3. Racial or ethnic slurs. 4. Use of edgy language (including masked profanity). 5. Direct personal attacks, flames, fights, trolling, baiting, name-calling, general nuisance, excessive player criticism or anything along those lines. 6. Posting spam. 7. Each person may have only one user account. It is fine to be critical here - that's what this board is for. But let's not beat a subject or a player to death, please. |
