I just watched the firt part of Sportscenter on ESPN. They led off with the Bonds/Clemens game followed by the Reds /Cubs game. Or was that the Giants/Astros game? They weren't too clear about that. That show is so about hype I can rarely watch it anymore, unless there is a specific highlight I want to see. I just found this. I like it.


Paragraphs and Punctuation
by Kwon
Krimilian Columnist
E-mail Kwon

March 19, 2003

The ESPN network has totally changed the way sports in America are covered (showing slam dunks), highlighted (lots of slam dunks), and even played (the slam dunk). Arguments whether or not this is good or bad can go on without
end – but I think the world is a lot better off with 24 hour a day sports coverage than without it. One major drawback (of the 24 hour a day coverage) is that often times in sports there is nothing to talk about it – and the media must make up meaningless controversy to fill in (see the Daily Krimilian's Four Levels of Sports News) . ESPN is very good at this controversy and has effectively turned their cash cow – the Sportscenter show – into complete and utter trash.

Sportscenter is horrible. I can’t even get through an entire segment nowadays. It is just atrocious. Why you may ask? Here’s ten reasons why Sportscenter sucks my balls.

1. The hour long format. The hour long format pretty much ruined the show and is the basis for the other nine things on this list. This was the beginning of the end – the half-hour show had like 21 minutes of highlights and 2 minutes of analysis. If you wanted to see if your team won last night – you only had to wait through a maximum half-hour to find out. Back then, they couldn’t even cover all the highlights, they always ended up showing like two scores of games with no highlights – which I still find refreshing – it made you appreciate the highlights even more. I don’t’ know about you – But I honestly don’t
need highlights of Aubrey Huff or Chauncey Billups everyday. Plus – who can watch an hour of television in the morning? Cmon! HALF HOUR! Half HOUR! Jerk STORE’s the line! JERK STORE!

2. Taboo? They have so little info to fill up the hour long Sportscenter – that they now play Taboo with athletes. Whats next? – Rich Eisen and Kenny Mayne playing a game of Sorry with Ray Jackson and Jimmy King?
What they hell happened to those guys by the way?

3. The anchors – The Sportscenter anchors think they are WAY too important. I don’t care what kind of salaries they make – these guys take themselves way too serious. Stuart Scott, Dan Patrick, Kenny Mayne – they all act like THEY are
more important than the event they cover. Just because you work at Sportscenter – doesn’t mean any one remotely care about you. Craig Kilborn was the greatest Sportscenter anchor ever. He was hilarious without being overblown or annoying (and he did this during half hour shows). Plus, as Sir N William Wright pointed out – he changed the way an entire sports generation speaks…

4. The Highlights – they have less highlights now than they did in the half hour show! Now it is all these in depth news stories on athletes who help the community and experts analyzing offensive lineman… Does anyone care? If I want to watch Dateline, I will watch 60 Minutes err I mean Nightline err I mean Dateline…

5. The catchphrases. Why does every single anchor have to have these stupid quips and catchphrases. I think they are starting to get away from them now – but for awhile you couldn’t even follow the highlights cuz some of the anchors were spouting out lingo so long you don’t know who was pitching or what inning it was. Stop with catch phrases.

6. The show format. They have way too many sets, anchors, stages, and polls. I think it takes like fifteen anchors to put on a show now. Remember when they used to go to commercial and that guy’s voice would go – “Coming up in 43
minutes Sean Salisbury take a dump” That was real annoying. Then, half the time it didn’t even happen at the time they said it would. I swear one time they said coming up next “Golden State Warriors Highlights” and they didn’t come on until 54 minutes past the hour. I need my Run TMC highlights!

7. Sean Salisbury - They guy is one of the dumbest people I have ever heard or seen. Period. And Jay Bilas is getting real annoying too.

8. The Dan Patrick Radio Show – It started last night and now it is on TV – This show is dogcrap. Please end. I once yelled out at the movie “Spy Hard”, “PLEASE END!” It eventually did…

9. All the other shows – Since each sport has their own show now (NBA 2 night, MLS 2 night) – I don’t think Sportscenter tries to cover everything anymore – (Just like how massive expansion is ruining the NHL, the NBA and the MLB)

10. The Did You Know segment. Does anyone ever actually watch the last three minutes of Sportscenter? I sure don’t.